[cut to the end of episode 37 on a blue screen]
[basically, the chao of the Gardens are trying desperately to relax as the Beta Avengers threaten to kill them]
[the camera zooms out from the screen, revealing two shadowy figures watching them]
[one is called the MILKMAN, the other called JOE]
MILKMAN: I'm a little concerned about these chao, JOE.
JOE: Really? Why?
MM: I don't know. I just feel as if... some evil force is at work.
JOE: Other than us?
MM: Now, I don't know if we're really that evil, JOE.
JOE: Enough about that. What were you saying?
MM: It's just a feeling. I don't know.
JOE: Everything will be alright.
[another shadowy figure steps in]
?: MILKMAN. Adjoined Usher is no longer..... alive.
MM: What? What happened?
?: I told him of our plan to bomb the gardens. He.. was not enthusiastic.
MM: So, you banished him to Chao Talk?
?: Right. Upon monitoring him, he was absorbed by the city's madness instantly.
MM: That city... there's something about it... something I don't like. I sense.....
JOE: What? What do you sense?
MM: I sense that the city will be more of an obstacle than we had previously thought.
JOE: Blasphemy!
?: Please, sir. Adjoined Usher is the last chao that will ever get close to the city.
MM: Still..... *sigh*... show me the monitors.
?: Yes, sir.
[the shadowy figure presses a button, showing a large, utopian city on the monitors]
MM: Hmm......
[on one screen, for one second, something flickers]
MM: .....no. I am positive that this city shall halt the chao's progress.
JOE: What makes you so sure?
MM: Over the past few days, I have seen a figure in the city. Always just one.
?: Oh, it's just a traveller. You know how many of them get into the city.
MM: But, those stay on-screen for long enough for us to see them. And, this figure... is tall. Taller than a chao.
JOE: .......*gasp* MILKMAN, look!
[JOE points at a screen]
?: Whoa.
[on one screen is a tall figure wearing a black cloak, standing over a clock tower in the city]
MM: That's him. Who IS he?
JOE: A tour guide, maybe?
MM: ........this cannot end well.
[the camera zooms in on a monitor showing the Hero Garden]
[Hero came home from school to find no one there]
Hero: Hello? Chao? Tail? Knuckle? Speedy? Aqua? Anyone?
[he looks around and finds not one soul]
Hero: Where are they? ...if I were an oven mitt... *snap* Dark Garden.
[he goes to the Dark Garden]
[...nothing]
Hero: This is weird.
SShade: I know.
Hero: !!! Whoa! What the?
SShade: I'm wondering where they are, too.
Hero: I'll forgive you for scaring the crap outta me...
SShade: I thought you heroes couldn't say 'crap.'
Hero: *groan* It's just one of Chao's rules. Believe it or not, but... I actually wanted to be a Neutral.
SShade: I see.
MK: Isn't THAT weird?
Both: !!!
SShade: Mecha Knuckles, what the DARK GARDEN were you doing?
MK: The other Poker players are gone, and only Metal has the key to the toilet.
Hero: Wait, the Poker Gang has disappeared?
MK: Didn't I just say that?
Hero: This is odd. Where could everyone BE?
[they look around and check behind the Neutral Garden waterfall, finding a dark room]
SShade: Um... was this always here?
Hero: Nope.
[Hero slowly approaches a large tube with the number '47' on it; SShade and Mecha Knuckles follow]
MK: What... what do you suppose it is?
Hero: I don't know...
SShade: Wait, this all seems familiar... Shade talked about something like this. ...But what?
[the three enter it, and are suddenly frozen]
[fade in to the same tube unfreezing them an undetermined amount of time later]
Hero: What just happened?
MK: I think the tube ate us.
Hero: Really?
MK: No.
Hero: So why'd you say it!?
MK: 'Cause.
[the two argue as SShade fearfully steps towards the large window near them]
SShade: Um... guys? ...I don't like the look of this...
[the other two look out as well, and gasp as they see a large, screaming face running loose]
MK: What the fuck is that thing?
Hero: Don't say that. It's the Nomble... the worst scum to ever run amok in the world.
SShade: Hey, wait... wasn't the Nomble on Chao World... NOT... wherever we are?
MK: Add two and two together, kids.
Hero: ...four?
MK: NO! This Nomble thing was on Chao World, and we don't know where we are, so we must be in Chao World!
[SShade and Hero look at each other with fear]
Hero: Oh, Hero Chaos, no...
SShade: It... can't be!
MK: What?
Hero: The Nomble will kill us if we don't run!
MK: Heh... this thing? How can that face freak kill ME? I'm Mecha Knuckles! You dirtbags may be small and sufficent for squishing, but not ME! Mecha don't bend that way!
[the two chao quickly hide, and Mecha turns around; he is suddenly squashed by the Nomble]
[zoom-in on the chao in fear as the Nomble's horrifying scream is heard]

A team of chao... lost in a DEADLY city... and the only help they have? ...HELP? You kiddin'? WHAT help?

DJay32 presents...
Dark Chao Adventures 2009. Freaky. Deadly. Funny. Laugh. Scream. Terror. Run. Think. Shoot. Live. CHAO.

THE SECRET CITY
(The second feature-length 'movie!' Chao Talk is based off the Sven Co-op map series, "secretcity," as well as its spin-off, "secretcitykeen," and another map series by the same author, "omg." The name "Chao Talk" is based off a forum. So, nothing about the city is that original.)

The feature-length script over a year in the making.
Join the DCA cast as they uncover more secrets than they ever wanted to know.
But first....


[cut to the chao screaming on a blue screen; the camera zooms out]
MM: Did I not tell you, JOE?
JOE: Yes, you sure told me. But, how did they...?
MM: I have no idea.
?: Sir, maybe we should focus on completing our plan?
MM: We can't complete our plan without the chao in their gardens! It doesn't work like that.
JOE: So, what do you propose we do?
MM: Sit.... and watch.
[the camera zooms in on the screen]
Chapter 1: This Seems Familiar
[suddenly, the Nomble moves away, and the chao take a peek out the window]
SShade: Uh-oh...
[they're in a peaceful-looking city]
Hero: Please, please, PLEASE tell me we're not in--
?: --Chao Talk. It's sad, is it not?
[they turn around and see a gray chao wielding a crowbar-- He]
SShade: He! What happened to you?
He: I was meant to be in the Chao World, so I left the gardens. Besides, I got a neat job offering in the Chao Stadium as a racer.
[check Sonic Adventure 2's Challenge races]
He: However, something went wrong. Something terrible.
Hero: ...what?
He: ...I don't know. Something messed up the 'Goodbye' option... I woke up in the bus station, about to be crushed.
SShade: How'd you get out?
He: Hello? Crowbar? This thing is my weapon of choice! I've found a million and one uses!
[silence; a cough is heard]
He: ...nontheless, there's no point just standing here. Let's go to the bus station and look for stuff.
Hero: Like we have a choice.
[so they do]
[hours are spent searching, but all they find are the things they found before, and one living room]
Hero: This is hopeless! *hops onto couch* What are the chances of actually finding a way outta here?
SShade: I know.... this place is Hell. And I don't mean 'Dark Garden' Hell, I mean 'HELL' Hell. He, turn on the radio, will you?
[He does, and some Star Trek dance song is playing]
SShade: Ew, turn it off.
[He does]
[minutes later, SShade tells him to see if the song's finished, and it's still playing]
SShade: Not finished? Great, now we have to stay in Hell, listening to THIS.
Hero: I dunno; the song's not that bad.
[half an hour passes, and the chao just sit there while the same song is playing the whole time]
SShade: Does this song EVER end? What station is this, Geek FM?
He: Uh... I think this is all the radio can play.
[SShade groans and slams her fists on the calendar nearby, which slips away to reveal a secret room]
[in the secret room are coordinates for who knows what]
Hero: This place is creepy.
He: Thanks, Eagle-Eyes.
[the chao decide to look around due to boredom, and they find a new door open; they all enter it]
[inside are hundreds of filing cabinets, stretching as high as the eye can see]
He: What do you suppose are in these?
SShade: I don't know; let's check one.
Hero: I don't think you should, Shade.
SShade: Why not?
Hero: Well, considering the rest of this town...
SShade: Good point. Let's just look for anything of significance.
[they all keep walking, and the files seem to multiply in numbers, and get higher]
Hero: I think I'm going crazy...
He: Why do you think that?
Hero: It seems as if... the WALLS are filing cabinets...
[the other two look higher, and see that it's not just his craziness; the walls and ceiling really ARE!]
Hero: I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!
[Hero turns back, but stops; he starts twitching]
SShade: What's wrong NOW?
Hero: Um... we DID come this way... right?
SShade: Last time I checked; why do you ask?
Hero: I ask because... there's a filing cabinet where we just came from.
SShade: There are filing cabinets EVERYWHERE, Hero.
He: *turns around* ...Uh... Shade... he's right. ...the cabinets are moving...
[they all run, screaming, and eventually fall through a floor]
Chapter 2: 1408, Chao Edition
[seconds later, He opens his eyes and sighs]
He: Well.... looks like our little journey didn't take us anywhere...
[the other two wake up, and gasp]
SShade: We're... we're back in the living room!? How did this...?
Hero: Well, no point sitting here listening to silence; let's hear that Star Trek!
[Hero turns the radio on, but the song is distorted]
[the three stand, disturbed, as the song shifts between normal and slow, then back again]
[He slowly steps towards the TV, and gasps]
He: You... you guys may want to take a look at this...
[on the TV is an odd, worm-like face]
SShade: All in favor of going to the cafeteria for something to eat?
Both: Aye.
[they leave the room, but are shocked to enter the living room]
He: But... but we just left this room! ...hey, where'd the TV, couch, Chess Table, and radio go?
[Hero steps forward a bit and looks in fear at the door on the ground]
[familiar screams for help are heard coming from within]
SShade: Wait... is that... Dark? I'm coming, Dark!
[she jumps into the door, and falls into the living room, followed by the other two]
Hero: Hey, who turned the room to its side?
[the room is flipped about 90 degrees onto its side; SShade notices Dark]
SShade: Dark! What were you doing in here?
Dark: I don't know! Now HELP! There's a room with a large, spinning chair in there! I'm scared!
[...whaddya know, it's true]
Hero: That's... weird. Then again, in this city, what ISN'T?
[they enter the room, and quickly drop through the floor into a strange, yellow hallway]
[upon further walking, they find Tail running in fear]
Hero: Tail! What's wrong?
Tail: I'm terrifyed! There's something going on here, I tell you!
He: What's going on here?
Tail: I... I don't know.... I mean, I heard some evil laughter coming from somewhere....
[after some looking, they're the only ones in there]
Tail: Hero... you believe me, don't you?
Hero: Actually, yes. Shocking as it may seem, there are VERY high chances of Tail being true.
[suddenly, they all fall through the floor again, and land in some sort of facility]
SShade: Okay, I'm getting tired of dropping through the floor!
DJ: Hey, I didn't make this place.
SShade: I know, but did you HAVE to choose for us to go HERE? Couldn't we go somewhere BETTER?
He: Shade, stop breaking the fourth wall.
[looking around, all they see is a door and some oily water]
[they enter the door, and find another door which doesn't open, and some dials]
[each dial raises a little crawlspace above the water]
[everyone looks at Dark]
Dark: What? ...aw, crap.
[He raises one crawlspace, allowing Dark to enter it, and SShade raises another, which Dark enters]
[then, Tail raises the third one, Dark enters; Hero raises the fourth one which Dark exits through and opens the door]
Dark: You... you jerks! I could've fallen into the oil and DIED!
SShade: Be glad we didn't just dip you into the oil.
[they continue and see three jail cells-- one with a man sitting in a corner, one with a man trying to open the cell, and the other with a dead man]
Dark: Hey, that's no man; that's the Tails Doll!
TD: HEY! GET ME OUTTA HERE! I'm sick of trying to open this freaking door!
[they somehow let him out]
TD: Thanks, I guess... when we get outta here, you chao will be cursed last.
[they enter the next room]
Chapter 3: Mad Dash into the Beyond
[in the room is a dial next to a window, and the way into the next room]
[out the window is a door which opens as long as the dial is held down]
[one mad dash later, Dark runs past thousands of turrets and gets behind the door]
[Dark finds a second dial and keeps the door open for the rest]
[they enter a door and find themselves in a black-and-white corridor, nothing special]
[after some moving, they reach a colorful set of rooms which lead to a junction]
Hero: I say we go to the right. I mean, the left just seems.... creepy.
He: While that's one crappy reason, I agree with you. I'm getting some... vibes from the left.
[they go to the right, except Dark, who hears something]
?: Hey. You. C'mere.
Dark: Who, me?
?: Yeah, you. Come to the left.
[Dark goes and drops into a large room with three abstract paintings]
?: Now, see that large painting to the right? Walk into it.
[Dark does and sees another black-and-white corridor]
[he sees some sort of figure in front of him]
Dark: Who are you?
?: Call me... your tour guide to this haunted city.
Dark: Okay, T.G, just what's going on here? Why'd you want me to go here?
TG: Keep on going through this corridor, and you will see...
[Dark slowly walks across, and falls through the floor into another corridor, not black-and-white; TG follows]
TG: Now follow me across these septic tanks-- I mean, candy silos. Come, jump into the last one!
[TG jumps in, followed by Dark, and TG turns a dial, opening a secret passage]
[TG enters and bids Dark to follow him]
[the camera zooms out, back to the MILKMAN]
MM: Hey, JOE.
JOE: Yeah, MILKMAN?
MM: That's that figure. That one standing on the clock tower.
JOE: Hey, yeah, it is!
MM: Well, I'm gonna want to keep watching this. Go back to your station, and tell me if anything else happens.
JOE: Yes, sir.
[back to the screen]
[cut to the others entering a room with a large pit in the middle]
He: What do you suppose is in there?
Shade: Hey, is that you guys? COME DOWN HERE, I NEED YOUR HELP!
[they jump into the pit and find Shade]
SShade: Shade! *hugs Shade* I was so worried! Where are we?
Shade: Some sort of mine... of some sort. Through this passage is a large button, but I'm too scared to get to it!
Hero: Shade, how'd you even end up here?
Shade: I dunno. I mean, I woke up here after trying to ditch school. Mister Prower sure knows how to torture us, huh?
He: You're not in CPAK, or anywhere like that; you're in Chao Talk!
[Shade's pupils widen]
Shade: Suh... suh... say WHAT!?
SShade: We're scared about it, too.
TD: So, where's this button you were talking about?
[Shade leads them across the 'mine' to a button, which the Doll presses]
Telepathy: A SUPER SECRET trigger has been found!
Shade: ...well, THAT sucked. Hey, have you guys found Dark yet?
He: Yeah, he's right here. He's been awfully quiet lately...
[they look around]
He: ...uh-oh.
Shade: Eh, he's Dark; he can get outta trouble faster than me. In the mean time... where do we go from here?
[they look down the 'mine' shaft]
[Shade hacks a loogie down the shaft, but they don't hear it hit the ground]
Hero: Creepy.
[Shade pushes Tail down the shaft; Hero pushes Shade down in anger; everyone else pushes everyone else down in a chain reaction]
[Tails Doll jumps down]
[seconds later, they awake on nice, green grass]
Hero: Ugh... guys... I think... we're out.
Shade: Lucky us.... *faints*
[everyone faints in exhaustion]
Chapter 4: The Cage, the REAL Mine, and the 1408
[cut to Dark and TG, who climb down a ladder into a large room]
Dark: Whoa...
[the main feature of the room is a large cage; two buttons are nearby]
Dark: What's with the cage?
TG: All in good time, Dark... all in good time. For now, just follow me.
[he does, and the guide leads him accross some sort of Chess Table]
Dark: ...I don't even wanna know what just happened.
[the guide shows Dark to a door]
TG: Beyond this door is where you shall be on your own...
Dark: What? Why?
TG: Alas, I have... PLANS to take care of. Just remember this... the Nomble holds many secrets, too.
[the tour guide walks back as Dark opens the door]
[inside the door is a large mine going down a long way]
[and it's a REAL mine, too. It has a red-ish glow]
Dark: Very creepy.
[as he goes down, the guide's mysterious phrase about the Nomble buzzes through his head]
Dark: The Nomble holds many secrets.... what, exactly, did he MEAN?
[finally, Dark reaches the bottom of the mine, and gasps]
Dark: This seems familiar...
[he has reached the living room, except for one thing-- the room is gigantic!]
Dark: This is spooky. VERY spooky.
[carefully trying not to fall down the miles and miles of length to the floor, Dark walks along the bookcases]
[after some careful jumps, Dark makes it to the radio and turns it on]
[the Star Trek song is playing ridiculously slow]
Dark: MAKE IT STOP!
[Dark runs around and reaches a small vent which leads to a large, towering room with grappling hooks]
Dark: w00t; grapples! I love these things!
[he uses them to get up, which leads to another grapple room, this time with a long drop]
Dark: I can do this! BATMAN POWERS... ACTIVATE!
[the Batman theme plays as Dark jumps, but the song stops as he falls]
Dark: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!
[he uses the grapple to cushion his fall, and finds some sort of park, where he rests]
[a minute later, Dark tries the jump again, and makes it]
Dark: Sweet. ...huh?
[he can see the cage from his position, and sees the Tour Guide talking]
TG: ..n't fail. .....not to worry, sir; that Dark moron won't be able to go two steps without falling down the mine!
[monstrous mumbling is heard]
TG: Huh? ...he's where? ...sir, you must be mistaken; there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY he could *notices Dark*... have... survived.
[Dark notices he's been noticed, jumps up the ladder into the 'candy silo,' and swims as fast as he can back to the corridor]
[TG follows him; Dark reaches a dead end]
Dark: So this is how it ends... gunned down by my own tour guide...
TG: So... what do you know?
Dark: Um... you were talking to someone, and you thought I was a moron.
TG: Quit your lying! *wields knife, points it at Dark* Tell me EVERYTHING you know!
Dark: That IS everything I know! I swear! I wouldn't lie to someone with a knife!
TG: ...*puts knife away* ...I see. You know what? I'm gonna let you off with a warning this time.
Dark: Thank you!
TG: Don't put your nose where it shouldn't be. Nosy people don't last long here.
Dark: I understand, sir!
TG: ...my boss says you can go back to your friends. While I don't completely agree with this, I must let you.
Dark: Tell your boss I said 'thanks!'
TG: Listen... I'll teleport you to your friends, on TWO conditions.
Dark: Let's hear 'em!
TG: One: You stop being so nosy. Two: This whole thing, starting with meeting me, NEVER HAPPENED.
Dark: I read you loud and clear.
[the guide teleports him to his friends]
Shade: Dark! Where WERE you?
Dark: I met this guy--- uh.... I mean, I was in the bathroom.
Shade: Well, we don't know where we are. Think you can help?
[Dark looks around]
Dark: ...Nope.
[S.Bonic comes out of nowhere]
SB: You guys are in OMG park; Chao Talk's version of a suicide booth.
Chapter 5: "Chao Talk's Version of a Suicide Booth"
[Shade approaches a small pod]
[Knuckle runs in and shoves him to the side]
Shade: Knuckle? Where'd YOU come from?
K: I was with Shadow Bonic, now shut up and let ME get into this pod!
[Knuckle enters the pod; the front is quickly covered with glass; water slowly fills the pod]
K: With my last breath, I curse Dark!
[Knuckle drowns, and quickly respawns at the entrance to the park]
K: Ugh... that was... NOT... pleasant...
SShade: Well, that tells us the respawning rule is still in place.
[relieved sighs]
Dark: That's good, 'cause I've always wanted to do this...
[Dark picks Hero up and tosses him off a cliff]
Dark: THAT'S FOR THAT CANDY BAR YOU STOLE!
Shade: Uh... Dark? That was Chao; not Hero.
[Hero respawns and shoves him into the pod]
[Dark respawns a minute later; they look around; they find a ladder leading to a platform]
[on the platform, a large Shell sign can easily be seen]
K: Shell? Oh, I remember them; that word ALWAYS leads to trouble. We'll need someone to test it. Any volunteers?
[everyone had run off to a safe distance]
K: ...OH, C'MON!
[Knuckle slowly edges closer to the sign; the platform instantly flings him right into it]
[lots of disgusted groans]
Hero: Tail, cover your eyes!
Tail: I know, I know... ugh... gross...
[more exploration, a large cage with the front open is found; everyone runs from Knuckle and Dark]
Dark: Well, Knuckle, looks like ONE of us is gonna have to go into the cage...
K: After you, Dark...
Dark: Why after ME? You're already in it!
K: What? No, I'm not!
[Dark quickly pushes him in and presses a button; he retreats to the others]
[the cage swings around multiple times; a minute later, it stops]
K: Ugh.... oof... that... was... nauseating...
[next, they find a small crawlspace]
K: This time, I am NOT going in there!
Shade: Yeah, Dark, you sort of... owe him. Go on, get in there.
[Dark slowly enters it, and is sucked in]
Dark: HELP! I can't move!
Shade: Try jumping!
[he does, and flies right up some sort of chimney, and the chao watch as beautiful fireworks set off and kill Dark]
Tail: Pretty lights!
[finally, they find a ladder]
Shade: All in favor?
Dark: (quickly) ..of Knuckle climbing?
All: Aye.
K: Hey, wait a minute!
[Knuckle grumbles as he climbs up, and sees a short hallway]
K: It's safe!
[he steps forward, and falls through the floor onto the ground; he dies somehow]
[they all climb up, and after a few trial-and-error steps, clear the hall of all trap-doors]
[they drop down onto another platform, and move on past any other dangerous-looking things]
Dark: Hey, how is an elevator dangerous? ....don't answer that.
[a little further ahead, they find a launch pad and a target floating in the air]
Shade: All in favor?
Dark: ..of Knuckle NOT going?
K: Heh, this time, I'm not falling for your trick! NOT aye! ...HEY!
[Knuckle flings at the target, and disappears]
K: (in distance) HEY, IT'S SAFE!
[Dark steps on, and hits the target; he dies]
[he gets back up, and tries again; he makes it]
Dark: Eh, 50-50.
Chapter 6: Homicidal Suicide Disorder
[after a spinning walkway, the chao reach a crossroad: thin air, or a sparkly green light]
K: Heh, this time, I'M getting to the good stuff before Dark! TO THE LIGHT!
[Knuckle and Dark race towards the light]
[while they run, Dark thinks for a moment about the mysterious Tour Guide he met]
Dark: "The Nomble holds many secrets, too...." What could it mean?
[Dark slows down to think, then looks at Knuckle, who mysteriously dies]
[back with the group, Dark tests out the thin air, only to find it's an invisible path]
[they find their way up, and across a thin walkway, then to a very tall ladder]
Shade: Eerily long ladder. That means... what, again?
Dark: Um... I think it's either eternal, really long, fake, or has a boss battle at the top. So, Knuckle tests.
K: HEY!
[a few seconds later, Knuckle is climbing the long ladder]
Dark: (thinking) Could the Nomble be at the top? ...no, no, it's too easy for that. ...but... what's at the top?
[Knuckle reaches the top]
K: HEY! IT'S JUST A ROOM! COME ON UP!
[they follow him up, and he's right]
Shade: Really odd. Just an empty room except for a window, a door, and those flashy letters spelling 'Turrican.'
Dark: ...Turrican? ....hmm...
Shade: Dark, what's wrong?
Dark: I don't know... I think I got the Big the Cat/Bioware treatment.
Shade: You mean your IQ points just randomly got boosted up?
Dark: Yeah, and now I can't stop THINKING! It's driving me mad! Such constant thinking!
Hero: You get used to it.
[Dark opens the door, and is sucked upwards, followed by the others]
[they awake in what seems like mid-air, suspended high above the park]
Dark: Uh-oh.
Tail: I DON'T WANNA DIE!
SShade: You signed up for it when we woke up in this loony bin of a town...
PFI: You're not standing on air.
[they all scream]
Shade: DO YOU HAVE TO SCARE US?
PFI: What choice do I have? I've been stuck here for hours, waiting for someone to come.
He: So, if we're not in mid-air... where ARE we, then?
PFI: We're in a large room made of glass. Unbreakable glass.
Dark: *sigh* ...Whaddya know? Trapped...
[the others argue and cry while Dark realizes something]
Dark: But... how are we breathing?
[the others stop, and listen to Dark]
Dark: If we're REALLY in a room made of glass, and there are no ways out, no air would be able to reach us.
PFI: Your point?
Dark: We can breathe just fine. I say there's an exit somewhere.
[Dark's right; there's a passage leading into a glass hallway]
Shade: Wow, you really DID get the Big-Ware treatment!
[they are all sucked through the hall into a regular room filled with water; an open window is near them]
K: Finally... the way out! See ya, suckers!
[Knuckle hops out the window, and falls about a hundred feet to the ground]
[a minute later, Knuckle made it back to them]
K: Well, I'm all out of ideas.
[Dark hops out the window, but stays close to the wall, and finds a VERY thin ledge for them to walk on]
Dark: C'mon, this ledge must be here for a reason!
[they follow the ledge around the room, being careful not to slip and fall like Knuckle; they find a ladder and climb it]
[they're now on the roof, where a lone button and a small, crawl-through tunnel going nowhere are]
[that is EVERYTHING near them. There are NO visible ways out]
K: Dark, you've killed us all!
[Knuckle chases Dark into the tunnel, and Dark quickly runs out and presses the button; the tunnel is sealed on one end]
K: ...Huh?
[Knuckle is fired out of the Tunnel-Cannon and disappears on the horizon]
Chapter 7: Sledge-HAMMA!
[the others wait a few minutes; Knuckle doesn't return]
SShade: Odd... by now, Knuckle should be here.
Dark: If he were to have died. Obviously, the cannon leads somewhere! Quick, INTO THE CANNON!
[one cannon blast later, they all find Knuckle along with Speedy outside a large skyscraper]
Hero: Speedy... what are YOU doing here?
Speedy: The same thing you guys are doing here.... for. I think.
He: Say, this skyscraper seems familiar... could it be...?
SB: City Hall.
He: Are you sure?
SB: Positive. But, something's different... I think there are sets of dynamite scattered around inside the building.
[they run inside, and see some dynamite by a wall]
TD: Stand back, kids. I know how to operate pyrotechnics!
[a few seconds later, a hole is open in the wall]
TD: ...hey, there's a cave in here! Come loo--
[the Doll is suddenly sucked into the dark cave, which starts to disappear]
Dark: NO!
[Dark runs ahead, and manages to enter the cave before the entrance disappears]
He: DARK!
Shade: Eh, he'll make it out.
He: Really?
Shade: Well, he's Dark. He's one of the main characters of this meta show! And main characters NEVER die! ...fully.
Hero: What about Shadow?
Shade: He's alive, remember?
Hero: I thought that was a robot!
Shade: No, if you play Shadow the Hedgehog, and fight Devil Doom for ten minutes, Eggman'll tell you that Shadow lived.
Hero: Well, I don't have Shadow...
[cut to Dark, exploring the cave]
Dark: Man, all this thinking is making me insane.......huh?
[Dark hears the Tour Guide talking in the distance]
TG: ..oll, what are you doing here?
TD: I saw the dynamite, and I went for it.
TG: Thinking outside the box, huh? Well, my boss told me how to take care of curious Georges like you.
TD: The name's 'Tails Doll,' not 'George.' What about YOUR name?
TG: My identity isn't important; your certain doom IS!
TD: B-but... if I die, I'll just respawn, won't I?
TG: Yes, NORMALLY. However, when my boss wants a death, that death ALWAYS happens. ALWAYS.
[Dark creeps closer, and enters a large pit with lava to one side, and a gate in a corner]
[he approaches the gate, and sees the Guide and the Doll behind it]
TG: See that little pod behind you? That's the Shortcut-Maker. It opens the gate behind me.
[Dark gets nervous]
TG: But, to open this gate, it must use sledgehammer.
TD: You... you mean A sledgehammer?
TG: No, Sledgehammer. Enter the pod.
[Dark quickly gets away from the gate]
[he hears the Doll enter the pod, and he suddenly hears Peter Gabriel sing: "SLEDGEHAMMER!"]
[the gate doesn't open, so Dark looks through it, and sees Tails Doll's dead body in the pod]
TG: Master... soon, your dreams will come true. Soon... *evil laughter*
[the Guide turns around, and sees Dark peeking through the gate, and stops laughing]
TG: ....
[Dark quickly stops looking through the gate, and the Guide appears on the other side of the lava]
TG: I can see that you're rather curious.... more curious than that doll.
[Dark slowly becomes more and more scared]
TG: And as much as I'd LOVE to bash your skull in.... my master has told me to make the most of your curiosity.
Dark: What... what do you mean?
TG: First of all, you must be VERY curious about your sudden IQ boost...
Chapter 8: The Deluxe Office Multiplex
TG: This IQ of yours was boosted by my master. He is very powerful. He felt sorry for your lack of knowledge.
Dark: Tell him I want my lack back!
TG: Why? With your new knowledge, you could become like me... and utilize this city's FULL POTENTIAL!
Dark: WHAT?!
TG: ...But I digress. There is an office building in this city somewhere. Not just ANY office, though... a DELUXE office.
Dark: Of death?
TG: I wish. Instead, this office contains the greatest secrets known to all chaokind!
Dark: Why would YOU be interested in Chaokind? You look more like a hedgehog, or something, to me.
TG: *ignoring Dark's question* You may have noticed the countless Shell signs...
Dark: Well, yes, which all eventually lead to death. Why?
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. You must also be wondering why the Office of Death contains the gateway to Hell...
Dark: That DID pique my interest...
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. I'm also sure you're wondering about this "Turrican" thing...
Dark: Uh... yeah, I suppose.
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. You must be curious of the multiple Admin Rooms...
Dark: I know what you're gonna say, but YES, I am.
Both: Look for the Deluxe Office.
Dark: Now, what about the countless appearances of the Nomble? Why is he EVERYWHERE?
TG: ...I must go now. Remember--
Dark: I know, I know, look for the Deluxe-stinking-Office. ...Uh.... wait... how do I get back to the others?
TG: Are you sure you wish to return to THEM? Why not come with me?
Dark: Thanks, but I've had enough of your mysterious ways. --wait... are you a Beta Avenger?
TG: ....*burst with laughter* Wha... haha.... why would you compare ME to THOSE nutjobs?
Dark: *thinks about it* ....*laughs* Heh... I... I dunno! I mean, you're all mysterious, and stuff!
TG: Well, please believe me when I say that Chao Talk has absolutely NOTHING to do with them.
Dark: Okay, thanks.
TG: ...So, are you sure you don't want to come? If not, I shall send you back to your friends, and you will have no clue where to go next.
Dark: ...couldn't you give me a hint where to go?
TG: One hint. Find your way back into this room.
Dark: But, the wall was sealed!
[Dark is teleported back]
Shade: Um... Dark.... what just happ--
Dark: I dunno. Listen-- we need to look for this Deluxe Office. It's--
SB: --the location of many secrets? I know. But, to get there, we must go into the sealed-off room you just came from.
Dark: ...I see. So, anyone got any dynamite?
He: I do.
[everyone stares at He]
He: ...what?
[a few seconds later, they're in the lava room]
Dark: Okay, we have two choices-- go across the deadly lava, or locate the shortcut.
Hero: What shortcut?
Dark: Behind this gate is a box. The box kills you, but eventually opens this gate. The room behind the gate leads to the other side of the lava.
[via careful maneuvering, a few chao make it across the lava, and line up to the box]
Dark: Okay, now you four-- (She)Shade, Knuckle, Speedy, and... Devillish... what are you doing here?
Red: I was waiting for you guys.
Dark: ...anyway, you four, plus me, must enter the pod one-by-one. First, Shade, go ahead.
[SShade enters, hears Sledgehammer, then dies]
[then Speedy]
[then Red]
K: Dark, I think you owe me this time.
Dark: As much as I hate to admit it... you're right. *gulp*
[the other three come to the others (the ones behind the gate) and watch]
[Dark enters; Knuckle grins]
Box: (distorted) SlEdGeHaMmEr.....
[Knuckle dies; the gate opens; Dark steps out of the pod; Knuckle respawns]
K: Ow..... wh-what the? How did I die? You... YOU were in the pod!
Dark: Don't ask me!
[they search around and find a crawlspace]
PFI: What do you suppose is in there?
[Chao crawls out]
Chao: *cough* Whoo, it's dusty in there.
Tail: CHAO! What were you DOING in there?
Chao: Learning about allergies, apparently... *sneeze*...
Dark: Wait... Chao? *gasp* You JERK!
[Dark shoves Chao into the lava]
Dark: MY CANDY BAR IS AVENGED!
Chapter 9: Breaking Out of City Hall
[the chao enter the dark crawlspace]
Dark: Wow, it's really--
[Shade shoves Dark into the lava]
Red: Thank you.
[Dark respawns and they reach a dead end]
K: Somehow, I blame Dark.
He: Wait... there's light coming from under this wall... I'll crowbar it!
[He breaks the wall down with his crowbar; the wall blows up; lots of chao respawn]
[the next room is visible through a window-- a small office with lots of desk-like things to crawl under, and two pyramid-shaped machines, each with a different color on top (red and blue)]
K: Pyramid machines? They MUST be friendly!
Dark: Something's not right here...
K: You're just jealous that I'm gonna meet the friendly robots FIRST!
[Knuckle steps into the next room and is instantly killed by the robots' lasers]
[Knuckle respawns]
K: You got any better ideas?
Dark: Yes. He, you need to crawl under those desk-like things; try to get to the pyramids! Then, crowbar them to oblivion!
He: I'm on it!
[He runs into the room and instantly ducks under the desks, avoiding the lasers]
[He eventually reaches the pyramids and destroys them]
He: All clear!
[the wall behind him blows up; He respawns]
[the wall leads out into the city]
Hero: Freedom, sorta!
SB: "Sorta" is right. We're close to the Deluxe Office.
PFI: Isn't that good?
SB: "Sorta."
[Purflee the second appears out of nowhere]
PF: Sis!
PFI: Bro!
[they hug]
Shade: Okay, okay, save the mushy sibling love for PBS, you two; we have a deluxe office to find.
PF: The Deluxe Office? Ooh, you don't wanna go there...
PFI: Why not, bro?
PF: One word-- Luis.
He: What about Luis?
PF: Another word-- Nomble.
[horrified expressions are on the others' faces]
PF: Exactly.
Hero: We should just turn back...
Tail: But... where would we go?
Hero: Uh... to the maze place? I mean, it's open, right? And that's how we got back LAST time.
[agreeing remarks]
Shade: Then it's settled. Let's go home!
Dark: Wait... wait, something's definitely not right here.
SB: You have that feeling, too?
Dark: Ever since I met the 'tour guide.' ...*gasp* I-I mean, uh... ever since I went to the bathroom!
SB: The Tour Guide? You... you know of the Tour Guide?
Dark: I've already said too much...
SB: No, no, he's fine with you talking to me.
Dark: Really? When did YOU meet him?
SB: I met him while I was in the bus station last time we were here. I... I was ordered not to talk unless the other knows of him already.
Dark: I see...
SB: And you?
Dark: ...Bus Station, as well. Although THIS time. ...say, what do you know of the cage?
SB: Alas... even I do not know much about that.
Dark: Well, I heard him talking to his master there.
SB: ...Dark, I know who his master is.
Chapter 10: No More Mister Nice Guy
Dark: Really? Who?
SB: It is none other than--
[Shadow Bonic falls into a drainage pipe]
Dark: Shadow Bonic! NO!
[Dark dives into the pipe to follow]
(Note: When the two started talking, the rest of the group had already walked away)
[in the sewers, Dark falls onto a walkway, and sees the Tour Guide walking away, carrying an unconscious S.Bonic]
Dark: (whispering) Tour Guide?
[Dark quietly follows]
[he follows through multiple passages and chambers; each one more "laws-of-physics-breaking" than the last]
[eventually, they reach a flashing, green room]
[the Tour Guide prepares to enter a corridor, but stops; seconds later, he enters a room with a flashing Star Trek face]
[the Tour Guide picks up an RPG (bazooka)]
TG: *quickly turns around* Dark.
Dark: Tour Guide. Where are you taking Shadow Bonic?
TG: To my master. Why?
Dark: He was about to tell me who your master was!
TG: Exactly. I could not allow that to happen. ...for, I want to tell you who my master is.
Dark: Really?
TG: Really.
[an alarm goes off]
TG: What the? ....Slidje is in trouble! Come, we must save him!
Dark: Wait... who?
TG: Just come.
[while Tour Guide leads Dark, the two have time to think]
TG: (thinking) Hmm... this chao isn't physically capable enough to save Slidje...
Dark: (thinking) Just who IS Tour Guide? And who is his master?
TG: (thinking) Besides, all he wants to do is meet my master.
?: (telepathically to TG) *Name censored for spoiler reasons*, I have an idea.
TG: (thinking) Master? ...what is your idea?
[later, the two reach a small room]
[Tour Guide approaches the door]
*dramatic trumpet fanfare*
Telepathy: Slidje has gone missing! Proceed to the briefing room!
[the door opens]
TG: Now, Dark... which would you rather do... save Slidje? Or... meet my master?
Dark: Hmm... well, I don't even know who Slidje IS, so... I'll meet your master.
TG: (quietly) Good... (normally) So, go down the LEFT corridor.
Dark: But... but all those arrows are pointing to the RIGHT!
TG: Eh, those are just for employees, like that 'wash your hands' thing.
Dark: Oh. Okay!
[the Tour Guide proceeds to the right, but puts S.Bonic onto the ground]
TG: Here, you may have your friend back.
Dark: Gee, thanks!
[Dark pulls S.Bonic down the left corridor; Tour Guide secretly watches, grinning]
[suddenly, a door opens down the corridor, revealing the Nomble, who pulls Dark and S.Bonic in]
Dark: OH, CRAP!
[S.Bonic wakes up, screams, and starts running]
(note: the two run at the same speed as the Nomble pulls them in, so they don't move)
Dark: THIS IS THE TOUR GUIDE'S MASTER!?
SB: I WAS ABOUT TO TELL YOU!
[the Tour Guide slowly steps to the edge of the solid ground]
Dark: TRAITOR!
TG: Hope you enjoy your time in Hell, Dark. When the Nomble-- uh, my master wants a death, he GETS a death.
[close-up on Tour Guide's shadowy face]
TG: No respawns.
[the Tour Guide walks down the corridor, and enters the briefing room]
SB: DARK, I HAVE AN IDEA!
Dark: OH YEAH? I HAVE A QUESTION!
SB: YOU FIRST!
Dark: WHY ARE WE YELLING!?
SB: I DON'T-- uh, *a-hem* I don't know.
Dark: Oh. Well, what's your idea?
SB: If we look in a certain direction and run backwards, the inertia should pull us back to solid ground!
Dark: Okay. ....wait, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever!
SB: We're in Chao Talk, Dark. NOTHING makes sense here.
Dark: ...okay, let's try it.
[they try it, and they actually get away from the Nomble!]
Chapter 11: secretcity5beta
[they run away, and get lost]
[after hours of running, they finally make it out of the sewer, and find the others in the Office of Death district]
Dark: *pant* Guys.... hoo... don't... *pant* .... go in that... passage...
Shade: Why not?
SB: *pant* It's.... it's a trap!
Hero: What are you two talking about? It's the way home!
Dark: Okay, we'll tell you.
[the two spend about half an hour telling the WHOLE story about the Tour Guide and everything]
PF: Well, where in that story does it say anything about the way out?
SB: For one thing, the passage isn't there anymore. Go ahead, check.
Dark: *scared* And, another thing.... is... the Nomble... is right behind you. HIT THE DIRT!
[Dark dives and saves most of them, except Knuckle]
K: CURSE YOU, DAAAAARK!
[splat]
[Knuckle respawns]
SB: Dark, I thought the Nomble DOESN'T make people respawn!
Dark: Maybe... but, wait! When the Nomble WANTS a death, he gets one! He didn't actually want Knuckle's death!
Tail: Loophole, much?
Dark: Yes, perhaps... but... how can we use this to our advantage?
SB: Good question. If we, somehow, KILL the Nomble, he'll respawn unless he WANTS to die. But...
Dark: ...how do you make a HOMICIDAL cube... SUICIDAL?
Shade: ...sorry, but I'm just not used to you being so smart!
Dark: Eh, you get used to it. How do you think I feel? I went from the IQ of a chestnut to the IQ of Shigeru Miyamoto!
Tail: I didn't even think that was possible!
[Buddy comes out of a building]
Buddy: Guys? ...where's Honey?
Chao: We don't know!
SB: ...well, there are only a few more places the rest of our group CAN be.
SShade: Great! Let's hear 'em!
SB: The Deluxe Office, OMG2 Park, or dead.
Dark: Yet, something tells me that there's more to this city than that...
SB: The closest place is the Deluxe Office, and THAT'S a two-hour walk from here!
Hero: *sigh* Let's get moving...
[two hours of walking later, night falls on the sky]
Dark: *yawn* Are we there yet?
PF: I think so...
Shade: We ARE! Look!
[in front of them is a large building, easily distinguishable from the rest]
SB: The Deluxe Office... we made it.
[they enter it, and the decor is nice and office-y]
Tail: Nice place. My aunt used to have a place like this.
Dark: Okay, we're gonna have to split up in order to cover more ground.
Hero: All in favor of going down the right?
[they look to the right, and see a noticable Shell sign]
Hero: .....I didn't think so. What about the left?
[they look to the left and see a door, and a staircase leading down and up]
Hero: .....didn't think so, either.
He: Let's draw straws.
[a minute later, all the chao had drawn pictures of straws on paper]
He: Shade, Chao, your straws looked the best, so you go left. Everyone else, go right.
[cut to Shade and Chao exploring the right hall]
[there is a Shell room, a file cabinet room, and a large, reception-like room]
Both: You check the Shell room.
Shade: Let's check it last.
Chao: Right.
[Shade checks the file cabinet room, and explores every inch-- nothing in particular]
Shade: Man, this is boring... *rests on cabinet* *cabinet opens to reveal a secret room* WHOA!
Chapter 12: Office Space Balls
[the secret room has nothing in it]
[cut to Chao, who also explores every inch, only to find nothing]
Chao: Odd. Hey, what's with this computer?
[Chao presses a button on the computer, making a platform come down from the ceiling]
Chao: ...freaky. HEY, SHADE! I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING!
[Shade comes in]
Shade: ...nicely found, Chao. Now, why don't you check it out?
Chao: Me? Why ME?
Shade: 'Cause you found it.
Chao: *sigh* All right...
[Shade presses the button again, making Chao go up with the platform]
Chao: HEY, IT'S LIKE A MAZE, OR SOMETHING!
Shade: LIKE IN MARIO SUNSHINE?
Chao: YOU MEAN SIRENA BEACH?
Shade: YEAH!
Chao: YEAH, I GUESS!
[Chao explores the ventilation/maze thing]
[minutes later, Chao crashes through the ceiling a few feet away]
Chao: Ow. That was pointless.
Shade: Looks like the only room left is... *gulp* ...the Shell room.
[the two slowly approach it]
[the room is composed of a desk and the large Shell sign right behind it]
Shade: Well, we checked it, now let's get out.
Chao: Y-yeah. Let's see how the others are doing.
[cut to a few minutes ago, when the others start exploring the left side]
[to the left of the stairs and door are two empty rooms and another door]
[Dark, Knuckle, and He go down the stairs, while the two Purflees go up]
[the others explore the doors, and find absolutely nothing of importance]
Tail: You know what? I'm just gonna stay in this room. This little bomb shelter. It's mine. I don't wanna die.
[upstairs, the two find a room with an upside-down spinning chair, a room with a computer, and the Turrican room]
PF: Just... who is Turrican?
PFI: What's that?
PF: We see this 'Turrican' guy everywhere. Just... who IS he?
PFI: I dunno; let's check his room.
[they open the door, and see a giant Star Trek face painting]
[they slowly close the door]
PFI: Let's check with the others.
PF: Yeah, let's.
[in the end, Chao, Shade, the two Purfs, Dark, Knuckle, and He go down the stairs]
[down the stairs are three doors-- one locked door, one open door, and one door leading to a dead-end]
[down the open door are MORE stairs, until they finally reach a LONG hallway with two bottomless pits]
[above the first bottomless pit is a walkway, but above the SECOND...]
K: So, we've gotta get across five floating, red blocks that move to the right. ...you guys go first.
Dark: Wuss.
[Knuckle chases Dark across the blocks; Dark jumps out of the way to make Knuckle punch the wall]
K: OWWW! MY FIST!
Dark: Ow, your FACE.
[the others get across, and find an unopenable door]
K: Grr... Dark, STOP LEADING US TO DEAD ENDS!
[Knuckle chases Dark, Dark dodges, Knuckle punches the door down by accident]
Dark: Knuckle, DON'T stop coming on these dangerous missions.
[the next room is a very large, colorful maze]
Chao: So many mazes, it could make you throw up.
[cut to the Tour Guide, watching them from a distance]
TG: ...Master, they're coming. Don't worry; I'll make sure to lead them to the Ice Temple...
[cut to the chao; the Tour Guide's evil laughter is heard]
Chapter 13: The Mysterious Wall of Bricks
Hero: Man, all these colors are giving me a headache....
He: Tell me about it. What where these guys thinking when they built this place?
K: Yeah, I know... I mean, you can't take one step without collapsing from the colorfulness!
[Knuckle steps forward, and falls through the floor]
K: I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THAT! Ow...
[the others follow, and find a floating patch of grass, and Dark-Hawk]
DH: Guys? How'd you get here? I mean... you fell out of thin air!
Shade: Yeah, and YOU'RE usually the one pulling the magic tricks. Where are we?
DH: I dunno. I've been stuck here for at least seven hours. I'm hungry!
Dark: Dang. How do you go so long without growing bored?
DH: Well, Phantom and Chaosky were here earlier. Phantom accidentally walked off the edge, and Chaosky dived in after him.
Shade: Didn't they respawn?
DH: Oddly, no.
Dark: That means they're not dead! There must be something down there!
DH: *gasp* I'm coming, guys!
[Dark-Hawk dives off the edge; a THUD is heard; minutes later, he returns]
DH: ...remind me never to do that again.
K: Remind ME to do that to Dark RIGHT NOW!
[Knuckle grabs Dark and tosses him off the edge; Dark sticks to the wall and finds a ledge; he climbs up and finds another patch of grass]
Dark: Nice try, Knuckle! I think I found how they survived!
[the others jump down]
PF: I say, the blokes who built this establishment certainly had much time on said hands.
Speedy: Quite so.
Tail: Indeed.
SShade: ...what's with the accents?
PF: I dunno.
[in the middle of the platform is a hole leading down to water]
Dark: Knuckle! Quick, I hear someone down there!
K: WHAT!? I'm coming, poor chao!
[Knuckle dives in]
Dark: Heh heh heh.... wait.... I DO hear someone down there!
[Dark dives in after him, followed by everyone else]
[out of the water, Dark looks around]
Dark: Um... guys? You may wanna see this.
[they walk out of the water, and gasp as they see a large wall]
Telepathy: Welcome to the big wall of bricks! One of these bricks is a secret trigger!
Hero: But... but there have got to be at least a hundred! We can't find ONE brick from here!
Shade: We don't have to. The exit's right over there.
[while they leave, S.Bonic and Dark check out the other side, and find a secret passage leading to a lone button]
Both: You press it.
Dark: I'm not touching that thing.
SB: Well, you're gonna have to; I'm not gonna.
Dark: *sigh* Fine...
[he presses the button; it disappears]
Telepathy: Dylan Hunt dancehall activated!
[their surroundings become a disco-like place]
Dark: ...okay.
[they leave, and find the Tour Guide]
TG: What are you two doing here!?
Dark: Uh... looking for dance halls?
TG: ...my secret dancehall.... you two are going down. You hear me? Right down to the ground! C'mere!
SB: Dark, what do we do?
Dark: Uh... uh.... CHEESE IT!
[they split up and manage to escape the Tour Guide and find the others at a ledge]
SB: Guys? But, uh... I mean, what are you doing?
Chao: We've reached this ledge, and we've found these platforms that all lead up.
[Dark looks back and sees the Tour Guide's shadow]
Dark: Uh... uh.... well, just jump to each platform!
Chao: It's not that easy.
Chapter 14: The Four Stone Tablets
Dark: Whaddya talking about? GO!
[Dark throws Knuckle to the first platform, but a large, red thing drops down and crushes him]
Dark: *gasp* Was that the Nomble?
PF: No, it was just a red screen. It drops down every few seconds.
SB: ....*snap* Dark, quickly, come with me. Follow my lead!
[S.Bonic leads Dark back to the dancehall, carefully dodging the Tour Guide]
SB: Up there! There's a vent! I think I see something in it.
Dark: Okay, I've got an idea of how to open it.
[later, the Tour Guide comes in, holding a knife]
Dark: *throwing his voice* Help! I'm stuck in this vent!
TG: Heh... I have you now! *tosses knife at vent*
[the vent breaks, and a block falls onto his head, knocking him out]
Both: *cheer*
Dark: I think I know what to do with this.
[they take the block back to the ledge, push it off, and the red screen gets caught on it and stops moving]
[they jump up and find another maze]
He: *sigh* So many mazes... and NONE of them are that hard.
[at the end of the maze is a teleporter which leads them on a path, after the path is ANOTHER maze, this time vertical]
PFI: At least this one's original.
[at the end of the maze, they find Aqua]
Chao: Aqua? What are you doing here?
Aqua: You know the answer. Anyway, I saw this big, shadowy guy carrying four chao! He went down that hole!
[Dark and S.Bonic quickly jump down the hole, and find the Tour Guide]
TG: Well, well, well... where are your friends?
Dark: They're back up there.
TG: I see. Well, I have taken four chao... uh... *pulls out small piece of paper* .....Phantom....Chaosky.... Honey.... and.... Quart!
SB: You... mean Quartz?
TG: Right. Anyway, I have placed them in these four chambers. Also in the chambers are four stone tablets: Fire, Water, Wind, and Earth!
Dark: Your powers combined, this guy is Captain Planet.
TG: Shut up. Once all four are gathered, this door behind me will open. ...after I close it.
[the Tour Guide steps through the door, and it closes; the others come down; S.Bonic and Dark explain the situation]
Shade: Okay, four of us'll have to go look for the tablets, and another four for the lost chao.
Dark: I call wind!
Hero: I wanna go to the Water place!
SShade: Give me Fire.
Aqua: Earth is mine.
K: I'm looking for the Earth chao.
PF: Give me potato salad-- I mean, the fire chao.
SB: What the heck, I'll check the Water place.
DH: I'll help in Wind!
[they go]
[in Wind-- Dark and Dark-Hawk must traverse a thin cliff, all while powerful gusts attempt to blow them off the path!]
DH: This'll be a cinch. IRON BOOTS, ACTIVATE! *....nothing* I'll take care of this, Dark.
Dark: Uh.... Hawk? You don't have--
DH: A chance at falling? Thanks!
[Dark-Hawk steps forward, and falls off; later...]
DH: That was my idea, where's yours?
Dark: Well, if we run while sticking to the right, we may have a chance.
[they do that, and survive]
Dark: Hey, Chaosky.
Chy: Get me outta here. NOW.
[one long run later, they make it]
Dark: !!! We forgot the tablet!
DH: Nope. I got it.
Dark: Phew...
Chapter 15: The Ice Temple
[in Water-- Hero and Shadow Bonic must go deep-sea diving in the darkest depths of an underwater labyrinth!]
Hero: (thinking) Great. Swimming. Why'd I agree to this? ...hey, what's that? ...the tablet! *grabs and scrams*
SB: (thinking) Hmm... hey, why is Hero swimming the other way? ....... HE HAS THE TABLET! Come back!
Qz: (thinking) Hey, someone's coming for me! ...why's he stopping? ...why is he going the other way? I'll follow him.
[Hero and Shadow Bonic resurface, just as the entrance closes]
QZ: *bangs on closed entrance* HEY! HEY! REMEMBER ME?
SB: Oh yeah... well, Hero grabbed the tablet before I found you.
Hero: Don't blame me! I was simply doing my mission.
[Quartz decides to commit suicide by drowning, and finds his way back]
[in Fire-- She-Shade and Purflee are very close to the tablet, but must cross through LAVA to get to it!]
SShade: So hot in here...
PF: C'mon, we need to overcome the heat and find--
[Phantom runs out, holding the tablet]
Ph: AAAAHHH! BURNING LAVA!
PF: ....the chao and the tablet.
[they run out]
[in Earth-- Aqua and Knuckle must go spelunking inside a giant, incredibly dark maze!]
K: Great. Another maze. Hot damn.
Aqua: *slaps Knuckle* Don't even REMOTELY swear. You call yourself a hero? C'mon, Honey's somewhere in this dark maze!
K: *groan* But can't YOU find her? I'm too tired.
Aqua: Okay. If you say so.
[seconds later, Aqua runs out carrying the tablet and with Honey following-- the door seals as he exits]
K: HEY! LET ME OUT! ....*groans* *suicide*
[the door opens, revealing a black-and-white corridor, followed by a large park]
Dark: Hey.... I've seen this park before.... it was when I did some exploration of the bus station! But, something's different.
[they find a large sign with a question mark on it, next to some grenades]
Shade: Wait.... where'd all the others come from? Like YOU, Tail. I thought you had a bomb shelter!
Tail: Uh... we got bored, so we.... followed you? I mean, we don't know.
[Dark grabs a grenade, and throws it to a random spot, which blows a hole in the floor]
[in the hole is some sort of hallway, leading to the unknown]
Dark: Um... Knuckle, YOU go first.
K: ....*punches Dark* Fine, you douche.
[he enters, and doesn't come back]
[the others go in to check on him, and scream as they see his frozen body]
[their surroundings: a small, ice-cold cave]
MS: Stop! Get away from me!
Honey: Is that... Metal?
[they check outside the cave and see Metal Sonic cowering in fear]
Shade: Metal?
[Metal screams]
Dark: Wow. NOTHING scares YOU, and NOW look at you!
MS: Th-th-that tour guide guy.... he.... showed me the scariest thing imaginable.
SShade: What? What could be so scary that even YOU are scared of it?
MS: *inaudible whisper*
PF: Speak up!
MS: *whispering* Red..... Metal....
Dark: Isn't that the final boss in Knuckles Chaotix?
MS: Red....... Metal.... *scream* HELP ME!
SShade: Relax, Metal. Come with us, and everything'll be all right.
MS: Are you.... sure?
SShade: Yes. Come on!
[they get him off the ground and out of his fetal position]
[they stand there for a minute]
Honey: Um... where do we go from here?
MS: The tour guide guy said.... he said there was no way out of here.
Dark: No way out, except.... Metal, gimme your knife.
MS: What knife? Who said I had a knife?
Dark: ....Metal.
MS: Okay.... *gives him knife*
Dark: Thank you. *chops Metal's head off*
[everyone commits suicide, they wake up back at the Deluxe Office]
Chapter 16: Secret Shell HQ
Chao: So, where do we go from here?
Dark: I don't know...
SB: There must be a place that we haven't explored yet.... I remember learning of a Shell HQ hidden somewhere in this building.
[Shade and Chao look at each other]
Shade: Um... we found a Shell sign. We didn't explore it because.... we were scared.
[Knuckle slaps Shade]
K: HOW COULD YOU!?
Shade: How could I WHAT? And I thought you were frozen!
K: TO DEATH! There's something called 'respawn,' you know!
Shade: Well, why are you yelling?
K: I DON'T KNOW! I'm angry 'cause I died, I guess!
Dark: But you die all the time!
K: So!? That's probably WHY!
SShade: Guys, GUYS! You're not making any sense! *sigh* Shade, Chao, where was this Shell sign?
[Shade and Chao lead them to the room with the large Shell sign]
Tail: Looking at that thing is freaking me out.... I'm going back to my bomb shelter! *flees*
SB: Hmm...
MS: Lemme have a look at it. {Scanning.... Scan complete!} The sign is made of shell-o-nite.
Dark: So how do we break it?
MS: With this special substance called "die-no-mite." It's found in grenades, and old TV shows.
Hero: Well, you heard the robot; let's get searching.
[He finds a spot in the wall on the second floor, breaks it, and finds a secret hole]
He: Hm? Grenades! ...but now I'm trapped. ...only one thing to do when you're trapped, and have grenades...
[cut to Tail, relaxing in his bomb shelter]
Tail: Ah... this is the life.... nohing can get me in here....
[the wall near him blows up; He slowly walks out, stares at Tail, who stares back; He quietly walks away]
[back at the Shell sign]
He: Got 'em. *tosses one at sign* HIT THE DIRT!
[the sign blows up, revealing a secret button]
Shade: Um... uh.... hey, Dark, can you get that? I'm on the phone.
Dark: Sure. *about to press button, stops* ....wait a minute....
Shade: Just press it.
Dark: Fine. *presses it*
[the desk retreats into the ground; everyone hops onto it; it stops at a door, which opens]
[inside is a dark, red corridor; it's really rusty]
[the Darks push the Heroes in, and the 'elevator' goes back up]
Hero: But-- D'OH!
[they begin exploring the rusty corridor, wondering what happened to it]
[around the corner, they find a sign that reads "Shell HQ"]
Chao: *gulp* This is it, guys. Hey, where's Tail?
[cut to Tail in his bomb shelter, boarding up the wall that was blown open; back to the others]
Hero: Ah, who cares?
[they find someone asleep in a bed]
All: ....
Speedy: (whispering) Let's not bother him.
PF: (whispering) Good idea.
[the person wakes up-- it's Luis!]
PF: Luis? Luis Sumatuma?
LGS: That's Luis GREEN Sumatuma to YOU!
PF: Hey, bud! How'd you survive the Nomble?
LGS: I don't know... there was this odd, red substance seeping into the room..... the Nomble saw it and ran.
Chao: Red substance?
LGS: Yeah. It must be deadly. I mean, NOTHING scares the Nomble!
[the last line echoes through Hero's head]
Hero: ....Red Metal....
Chao: What?
Hero: ....it's nothing. Just had a wild thought.
Chao: Well, get your head back to Chao Talk! We've gotta get outta here, remember? ....but how?
[they turn around and see a door leading back to the office]
Chao: ...oh.
[back with the others]
[Luis tells everyone his story; Metal freezes]
MS: R...red substance?
LGS: Yeah.
MS: The Nomble's scared of it?
LGS: Yeah.
MS: ....oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAP!
All: What?
MS: That red substance is Red Metal! The stuff I told you about!
Dark: Uh-oh. So, if the Nomble is scared of this odd substance, it MUST be dangerous! ...*gasp* It gets worse...
Shade: What? WHAT GETS WORSE?
Dark: Well, if Purflee said he lost Luis to the Nomble here, and Luis says the Nomble saw the substance, that must mean the Red Metal is somewhere in this building!
He: Well, we're screwed.
Dark: We're not screwed! There has to be a way out of here!
MS: Hmm... {Scanning....Scan complete!} I'm pretty sure... there's a TON of activity going on behind that big Turrican statue.
[they check behind the statue and reach a large, black room]
Shade: Freaky.
[Dark steps back and falls through the floor (nobody notices yet)]
[Dark awakes in a colorful room, the Tour Guide is in front of him]
TG: Hello... DARK.
Dark: You!
TG: I have some matters to discuss with you. Mainly the whole 'Red Metal' business...
Dark: Let me guess... you're behind all this, trying to kill us with your little "Red Metal" stuff!
TG: Actually, no. This Red Metal material has been around for a while, longer than me.
Dark: .....I'm still not convinced.
TG: Well, listen to me. Chao Talk isn't just messed up because of the whole 'Hell' deal.
Dark: It's not?
TG: No. "Hell" came to Chao Talk FROM the Red Metal. This stuff is extremely dangerous.
Dark: Be a bit more specific, please?
TG: ...there is one last place for you and your friends to go to.
[the others drop down]
SB: The Daedalus Laboratories, right, Tour Guide?
TG: Shadow Bonic... yes, you are correct.
Dark: Wait, the WHAT-alus labs?
SB: Daedalus. He's someone in Greek mythology, said to have created the Minotaur's maze.
Shade: Yeah, and something to do with the game Kid Icarus for the NES.
SB: .......yeahhhhh, something like that.
Dark: I see.
Chao: So, THIS is the mighty Tour Guide you two were talking about? A shadowy figure?
K: He looks like JOE! Want me to bash his skull in two?
Dark: Not yet... first, we want answers.
[the Tour Guide had already vanished]
TG: (like voice in the wind) The Daedalus Labs... opposite the City Hall. You'll need four puzzle pieces to enter....
Dark: *sigh* ....I fear we may have quite the adventure ahead of us, guys.
SB: Right, but first, we need to get out of here.
[they follow the path, and reach a maze, solve it, keep going, find another maze, and solve it]
Speedy: Lots o' mazes, huh?
LGS: Yeah.
[they find themselves back outside, in the city]
Ph: C'mon, better start walking. You heard the guide, City Hall! We've got a LOT of walking to do.
[hours later, it's still dark, but they find the City Hall]
[opposite the hall, they find a door with a black square above it; one shape is in it (like a jig-saw)]
TG: I forgot to tell you-- when you got past the laser pyramid machines? You got a piece then.
[they turn around, and he had already disappeared]
DH: One down, three to go.
Shade: Let's get moving!
Chapter 17: The Retinal Damage Puzzle Piece (Never-Ending Maze of Despair)
[first, the third-party chao explore the courtyard]
DH: So Chaosky... what do you suppose is in the labs?
Chy: Oh, I dunno... maybe the Tour Guide is leading us right into a trap.
DH: Yeah, that's very likely...
Ph: I bet the Nomble's in there, waiting to crush us!
Honey: *sigh* Why did we have to wake up here? Why couldn't we just be in our gardens right now?
Buddy: Relax, sis'. I'm sure we'll get out soon!
[Buddy leans on a wall, which disappears, revealing a secret vent]
[they explore it, and find it's a flashing maze]
Q: HOW MANY MAZES ARE THERE!?
[they get lost in it]
DH: Ugh.... this place isn't exactly easy on the eyes...
Buddy: I'm sure the exit's right around this corner.
[dead end]
Q: We'll never get outta here...
Ph: Wait! I see the exit! Right there!
[they get out]
Q: YES! SWEET FREEDOM! *notices it's the courtyard* ....aw.... well, back into the eyesore.
[minutes pass, they're still lost]
Q: I'm tired! I wanna go home! My feet are wet! I'm BORED! This is BORING! My eyes hurt! You're a f--
Ph: Quartz, PLEASE SHUT UP.
Q: But I'm BORED!
Honey: You know what they say about bored people?
Q: What?
Honey: They're BORING.
Q: HEY!
[they still keep going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going some more]
[they don't stop]
[not once]
[it never ends]
[never]
[never]
[EVER]
[keeps going]
[causes seizures]
[could kill them]
DH: Will you PLEASE!?
DJ: ...sorry.
[they find a spot where the maze drops down]
DH: OW! Stupid floor... dropping down...
Ph: Maybe we found the exit?
[they did]
Nights: Woo-hoo! You guys found me!
Ph: What?
Nights: I've been stuck here for DAYS! Trust me, that maze is one-way. It's like... like this is the only way out.
DH: *sigh* Oh, boy.
Ph: What about the puzzle piece?
Nights: Here. *gives piece*
Telepathy: You got the Retinal Damage puzzle piece!
[they cheer]
Honey: Yay, we got it; now we're stuck in this small room.
Chy: We're DOOMED!
Q: We are?
Chy: No, we'll get out and play with the pink ponies of La-La-Land-- OF COURSE WE'RE DOOMED!
Q: NOOOO!!!
[meanwhile, in the building...]
Chapter 18: The Tripmine Puzzle Piece (Dramatic Face-off)
[Metal Sonic, Shade, Dark and S.Bonic are exploring the second floor]
Dark: So, whaddya guys suppose is in the labs?
Shade: I dunno. The Nomble?
Dark: Yes, that's very likely... Shadow Bonic?
SB: Another deadly mystery...
Dark: Also likely. Metal?
MS: Death... destruction... *shudders* Red Metal.... our dooms.... our CERTAIN dooms.... gloom and depression...
Dark: ....interesting.
[they see a robot walk around a corner down the next hall]
Dark: Hm? *chases*
[around the corner-- nothing but a library]
Dark: Odd.
MS: Hey, what do you suppose is in this vent?
Dark: I dunno. Let's check!
[Metal lifts the vent cover off, and puts the chao in]
SB: *gasp* The puzzle piece! Across this bottomless pit!
MS: Well, I can't help, 'cause the vent's too small. I'll, uh... go for help.
[as Metal leaves, the Tour Guide walks up to the piece on the other side]
Dark: You again? Sheesh, haven't you passed the lethal amount of times shown in one season?
TG: Well, I add suspense. Now, enough small talk! This ends NOW!
[the Guide pulls out a shotgun and aims it at the chao]
Shade: HOLY CRAP! HE'S GOT A GUN!
TG: This ends now....
[BANG!]
Dark: WHO'D HE HIT!? WHO!?
SB: He missed.
TG: So, are you willing to listen?
Shade: Let's hear your speech, fiend!
TG: Turn back. The Red Metal has spread too quickly... soon, this place will be nothing except...
SB: What? Nothing except WHAT?
TG: ....bottomless pits. Such as this room...
Dark: Are you implying that this room was once victim to a Red Metal flood?
TG: Yes. Turn back! Before YOU end up like this room...
SB: Dark, something's not right here...
Dark: I know. The Guide doesn't normally talk like this...
TG: Do not question my words! Don't! Not! Don't! Stop! Qiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
[the 'guide' blows up, inside was Red Metal, which pours into the bottomless pit]
[camera zoom out, back to the MILKMAN]
MM: That.... was........
JOE: What?
MM: The Tour Guide just blew up. It's messed up. What's going on here?
JOE: Let's keep watching.
MM: Yes, let's.
[back to the screen]
Shade: Weird.
SB: Now, for the matter of crossing this chasm.
[somehow, they find their way]
Telepathy: You got the Tripmine Challenge Piece!
[somehow, they get back]
Shade: So now what?
MS: Guys! I found ANOTHER vent!
[he takes them to the first floor, where they take a vent to an office, where they find a key card]
[on the second floor, they use a keycard to open a door revealing two sets of dynamite]
[meanwhile, back with the trapped third-party chao, they mysteriously get dynamite]
Ph: That's odd.
Q: *gasp* I get it! The others must have found dynamite, thus giving their 'team' the same!
DH: That doesn't make sense.
Chy: Hey, if it's a way out, I'm taking it.
[they blow the walls up, and find themselves by the Sledgehammer box]
[in other words, they're free]
DH: Sweet, sweet ground!
Q: I LOVE THE WORLD!
[meanwhile, the Heroes explore the top floor]
Chapter 19: The Speed Tunnel Puzzle (Unlocking the Door)
Hero: Well, this is boring. They're just rooms.
PF: Yeah. Not a secret in sight.
LGS: Yeah, except for the Turrican room, which we have yet to explore.
[their pupils widen]
Hero: DUH!
[they run into the Turrican room, and barely take two steps without falling through a floor]
Chao: Why didn't we think of this room sooner?
[looking around, they find themselves in some sort of secret sewer]
Speedy: Woo-hoo! Some room to run around in!
[Speedy steps into the main section, and screams as a large, red 'screen' smashes him into the wall]
Tail: I want out.
[they carefully try to make it to the door far ahead, but the screen easily crushes them]
[the third-parties find them]
DH: What's up? Trouble passing this red screen? Uh... did you try winging it?
[Dark-Hawk steps out, sees the screen, climbs up a ladder, it passes him without crushing him]
DH: There, see? There's a small hole at the top! Here, lemme try this next ladder.
[on the next ladder, it takes him upwards MOST of the way, but low enough for the screen to crush him]
Chao: Hero, please make a note that "winging it does not equal success."
Hero: Noted!
[the Darks somehow get there]
MS: Oh, I know how to do this. Just stand there, and take that screen on head-to-head!
[Metal stands there, and tries to push the screen when it comes by]
MS: See, guys? You just gotta use a little force...
[SPLAT!]
Shade: I know! Get to that ladder, and then dash the rest of the way!
[SPLAT!]
Dark: Look for a different opening!
[SPLAT!]
SB: It must be an optical illusion. Perhaps we should look at it at a different angle...
[SPLAT!]
Q: Noclip through it!
[a few seconds later]
Q: Um... what's the code for noclip, again?
[SPLAT!]
Tail: Fly over it!
[SPLAT!]
SShade: Hop over the hole?
[YAY! then, she missed-- SPLAT!]
K: Just SHOOT the dang thing!
[SPLAT!]
LGS: Learn the secret?
[can't find one-- SPLAT!]
George Bush: Nuke it, like we do with ALL our problems!
[SPLAT! "YAY!!"]
SShade: Wait a minute...
[SPLAT! --I mean, uh... camera zoom-in on She-Shade]
SShade: My idea worked, didn't it? So, let's just keep trying THAT!
[in the end-- they made it]
[they grab the piece]
Telepathy: You got the Speed Tunnel Puzzle Piece!
All: YAY!
Telepathy: You got all the pieces! A new doorway has opened...
[the floor breaks down, and they land in the room with the flashlights]
[they quickly leave the building and enter the one opposite, and find that the door IS open...]
Chapter 20: A Surprising Security System
[inside, they find a small chasm, across the chasm is a doorway which a stickman randomly walks past]
Shade: Hoo, boy, now, how did we get across the LAST one?
Dark: I dunno! Didn't you see DJay use the word 'somehow' in place of the explanation? That's writer talk for LAZINESS!
[they try to jump across, but it's a little too far]
[and again]
[and again]
[and again]
[and once more]
Chao: 'Kay, DJ, enough fillers.
DJ: Well, I wanna stretch this part a little bit more, K?
Chao: NO! It's NOT okay!
Hero: Why CAN'T he, Chao?
Chao: Don't you see? If he finds a way for us to get across, he'll be helping HIMSELF!
Tail: That's crazy talk!
Chao: Really! He may get better at Sven Co-op, and find more ways for us to do this in the future!
K: I suppose that makes sense...
DJ: Okay, that's been long enough. Thanks, Chao.
Chao: You're welcome.
[the chao get across somehow]
K: YES! Time for pure success!
[Knuckle steps into the hallway, and a giant rocket blows him up]
TG: You must disable the rocket turret to continue.
[the Tour Guide disappears]
[down the hall is a small machine firing rockets-- HOMING rockets]
[the door in front of them opens]
Dark: I'm gonna have to make a run for it!
[he runs and dives, and JUST makes it into the small U-shaped room]
[the next door opens, revealing another U-shaped room]
Shade: Dark, don't try it! It's too far!
Dark: Nothing's too far for Dark! SUPERMAN POWERS.... ACTIVATE!
[the Superman theme plays as Dark rushes across the hallway to the next door]
[the theme stops as he blows up]
Dark: You got any better ideas?
MS: I do. SUPA-METAL-DANGEROUS-ROCKET-COUNTER-ATTACK-WHICH-BLOWS-UP-ALL-TURRETS-IN-THE-HALLWAY-WHEN-I-FINISH-THIS-NAM--
[the rocket blows him up before he finishes saying the name]
MS: Hey, I got a better idea!
[Metal shoves Quartz into the hall]
MS: FRESHMAN!!!
Q: Wha?
[BOOM!]
Q: I got a better idea.
[Quartz shoves Metal into the hall]
Q: NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!
[nothing]
Q: What? Why didn't he blow up?
Shade: That movie was a classic.
MS: Yeah, you ruined the joke. For that, you must pay!
[Metal grabs Quartz, and carries him all the way to directly in front of the turret]
MS: FRESHMAN!!! Guys, run.
Q: Mommy!
[KA-BOOM! The rocket blew the turret up, as well]
Dark: We weren't supposed to disable it THAT way, but it works.
Shade: Yeah, *eats popcorn* and it's classic comedy!
[the last door opens, but suddenly, the Tour Guide appears and knocks them all out]
[hours later, at mid-day, they wake up back in the room where they always respawn to-- the other building in the set of three buildings]
[Remember? Way back in Season 4, they jumped off the ledge and "fell at least 4 feet." THAT building]
Dark: Ugh...
TG: Dark, good, you're the only one awake. Listen to me... while you were knocked out by the rocket turret--
Dark: What do you mean? YOU knocked us out!
TG: It doesn't matter. I knocked you out because the Red Metal was in the middle of destroying the labs!
Dark: You mean... we can't explore it now?
TG: No, no, not at all. It's just... things will be messy. Trust me. Actually, I saved your life.
Dark: But... why would you DO all this? Just... who ARE you?
[the others wake up]
Shade: Ugh.... hey... is that...
Dark: It's the Tour Guide. He saved our butts out there, man.
Shade: No... I recognize him now.... he's....
[the Guide takes off his cloak, and hops off the stilts]
Shade: Shade Junior.
SJR: Hey, dad(s).
Dark: But... but why didn't you tell us before?
He: Yeah, and why team up with the Nomble?
Shade: And weren't you with the Beta Avengers?
SJR: I WAS. But... I found out their secret plan.
Chapter 21: Flashback!
[cut to Shade Junior talking with Metal Speedy]
SJR: You're gonna do WHAT!?
MSp: Calm down, Adjoined Usher.
SJR: Don't call me that! I can't believe you guys... your plan is so evil...
[after a long argument...]
MSp: Any so-called "Avenger" who doesn't want to avenge his past can't be one of us! You're outta here, pal!
SJR: Fine! The others need me more, anyway!
MSp: Oh no, you're not going anywhere... except STRAIGHT TO HELL!
SJR (Voice-over): One thing lead to another, and Metal Speedy ended up "saying Goodbye" to me.
[cut to Shade Junior being dragged to the Chao Transporter]
SJR: Okay, FINE! I'll start a new life in the Chao World!
MSp: Not even THAT... heh heh heh... buddy, we're gonna mess you and your pals up SO BAD!
[Shade Junior is thrown into the transporter]
[cut to Junior's POV (think FPS), the transporter hatch closing, Metal Speedy grabbing a crowbar, the hatch closes]
[loud noises are heard, sparks fly]
MSp: Say Goodbye, punk!
[cut to Shade Junior waking up in the Office of Death, he opens a door, and is about to be sucked into the Nomble]
SJR: STOP! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST DON'T KILL ME!
[the suction stops]
SJR VO: I guess you could say I made a deal with the devil... the Nomble decided to spare me in exchange for, erm...
SB: What? In exchange for what?
SJR: Uh... exchange for... assistance. Yeah. I'm his assistant, helping him do stuff. Yeah...
[back to the building]
SJR: But, listen to me! The Daedalus Laboratories very well contain the secrets to destroying the Red Metal! You MUST go there and end this!
Shade: Hey, hold up! What was up with that Tour Guide who attacked us, and turned out to be Red Metal?
SJR: What? Uh... I'm not sure... like I said, the Red Metal is EXTREMELY dangerous. Really unpredictable.
Dark: I see...
SJR: Still, what do you say? Will you go to the labs?
SB: Will you be coming? You know more about this city than we do.
SJR: Uh... y'see, I can't. And for a good reason! It's just... I can't tell you. Let's just say it has to do with the Nomble, okay?
Shade: *sigh* Okay, Junior. If you say you REALLY can't come, then you can go. Just... at least try to appear here and there and help, okay? We know you're good at that.
SJR: Yes, sir!
[Shade Junior runs off]
[the camera zooms out, showing the MILKMAN, watching on the screen]
MM: Say, JOE....
JOE: Yeah?
MM: Isn't that... Adjoined Usher?
JOE: Can't be. He was banished, and died. Wait. It IS!
MM: Hmm, well, this is interesting. Metal Speedy.
MSp: Yep?
MM: Do some more research on this city.
MSp: Right away, sir.
[the camera zooms back into the screen]
Shade: Well, you heard him. We'd best get moving before the Red Metal--
[he looks out the window, and sees lots of things destroyed-- chunks of the floor and walls are destroyed, etc]
Shade: ...gets...here.....first....
[everyone stares]
Shade: ....hoo, boy.
Chapter 22: Just How Dangerous IS Red Metal?
[the floor tiles are ripped away, pieces of the walls are gone, and the sky is an unnerving gray]
Shade: Wow... this place is so messed up. Looks like--
Dark: Knuckle.
[canned laughter]
[Knuckle punches Dark]
Shade: I was GONNA say "looks like the Red Metal got here first."
[as they walk into the labs, Dark stares nervously at the Turrican statue, which has sparks flying out of it]
[in the rocket turret hall, all is eerily quiet, the head of the turret completely gone]
Dark: ..just keep walking.
[they keep moving and enter the new corridor...]
[they enter a large room with stairs leading up in front of them, some empty work stations are to their sides]
[at the top of the stairs is a door, above the door is a large sign reading "Daedalus Laboratories"]
[an oddly familiar symbal is on the sign]
Shade: We're finally here... Daedalus Labs...
MS: Just three seconds in, and I already wanna go home. And I'm... I'm ME! I never wanna back out!
Dark: Well, let's get moving.
[they go up the stairs, and the door opens, revealing a hallway]
Telepathy: A mysterious lab hidden in the city... maybe you can finally find some answers. That symbol looks familiar...
[they step back, and look once more at the symbol]
[the symbol is an odd, red, upside-down G, with four little 'hinges' at the bottom (normally, the top of the G)]
///////////////////
[cut to a dark hallway, enter Mecha Knuckles]
MK: This place sure is spooky...
[eerie screaming is heard, Mecha turns and sees the Nomble sucking him in]
MK: AHH! IT'S THE NOMBLE!
[he runs, and manages to outrun the suction]
MK: Phew...
[the Nomble begins to slowly move closer to Mecha]
MK: AAH! OH, NO!
[he runs, the Nomble goes faster]
MK: PLEASE, NO!
[when the Nomble is closing in, the Tails Doll breaks in and saves him]
MK: Tails Doll?
TD: Poker players are pals, no matter if they're a robot, nor voodoo doll. Right?
MK: ....right. Thanks. ...pal.
TD: Hey, cut the mushy gay stuff, Mecha; I only said my line to add drama.
MK: Sorry.
[the Doll sets Mecha down in another room]
MK: Say, uh... where are we?
TD: Hell if I know.
[the Tour Guide appears behind a window]
TG: You're in Chao Talk's insane asylum.
[the poker players turn in shock]
TG: By that, I mean... you're in the remains of the Office of Death.
MK: The remains? What happened to the actual place?
TG: The Red Metal got to it.
///////////////////
[cut to the others entering the labs, to their right is a closed door with a puzzle piece window above it]
[as in, the square that was previously used for the puzzle pieces]
PF: Aw, Hero chaos...
[after some exploration, they find a cafeteria, and see a poster for Red Metal]
Poster: Resistant to fire, Consumes organic material (Don't Touch!), Distorts gravity (Reality?), NO KNOWN WAY TO STOP IT
[they also find a journal]
Hero: It appears to be a journal of a scientist who worked here. *reads journal* ...it appears they were working on an unknown red material...
Q: Perhaps it's Red Metal?
K: Duh.
Dark: Yeah, we've pretty much figured that out, Quartz.
He: Where ya been all this time-- Mars?
[Luis notices a large vending machine labeled "Hand Crusher"]
LGS: Hm?
[he uses it, and screams, then pulls out a crushed hand]
LGS: OW!!!
[he then randomly dies]
//////////////////
Chapter 23: The Tour Guide Makes a Comeback
[cut to the ruined remains of the Office of Death, Mecha and the Doll are talking to the Guide]
TG: ...as you can tell, the Red Metal is very dangerous.
MK: Yeah... from what you told us, it MUST be.
TD: Who are you, mysterious stranger?
TG: Just call me... your tour guide to this mysterious city.
[under the cloak, Shade Junior grins an evil grin]
TG: Allow me to lead you away from the Nomble, and out of the Red Metal carnage.
[the Guide leads them out of the Office of Death, and towards the train station]
MK: Where are we going?
TG: I'm taking you two to the train station.
TD: Oh, goody! Time to get outta this horrid place!
[the further they go, the darker their surroundings get, and the more destroyed the city gets]
MK: Uh... this place doesn't seem safer than the other place. ...at all.
TG: Oh, that's just to scare you. It's actually quite safe.
[the Guide stops, and sees the Nomble around a corner]
TG: !!! Um... you two wait here, I'm going to... uh........ well, just stay here.
[he goes and talks to the Nomble]
//////////////////
[the chao make it to the top floor, where it seems to be a living quarters/office]
[they split up]
[the Darks explore one section...]
DH: *sigh* Are we there yet?
Dark: ...that was not actually... usable in the given situation.
Shade: Lemme answer this. No, we're NOT there yet.
DH: Aww...
[they find three doors, one leads to a computer, the second is closed, and the third leads nowhere]
[the closed door has a window revealing a puzzle piece!]
Shade: NOOOOOO!!! WHY!? WHY!? WHY MUST WE BE TAUNTED WITH THIS CLOSED DOOR!?
Dark: ...Shade, are you somehow... losing IQ?
Shade: ....I don't hope so.
Dark: *facepalm* ...apparently so. Why don't we check out the other two doors for secrets?
[they're about to when suddenly, a dark, cloaked figure appears in the corner of Dark's eye]
Dark: Shade Junior?
[camera zoom-out to the MILKMAN]
MSp: MILKMAN?
MM: !!! Oh, Metal Speedy... don't sneak up on me like that again. This is getting interesting.
MSp: Well, I did some research on the city, as you wished.
MM: Oh, very good! What did you find?
MSp: There have been reports of a cloaked man, calling himself the "Tour Guide" for generations.
MM: Really?
MSp: Yes.
MM: But, Adjoined Usher just got banished there mere days ago.
[back to the screen]
[the figure is standing on top of a platform below the catwalks the Darks are on]
Dark: Hey, son, no need to wear that cloak; I know it's you.
[the figure hops along the platforms]
Dark: Junior, where ya going?
[Dark hops down and follows, the others follow him]
SShade: Hey Dark, where are we going?
Dark: Shade Junior's leading us somewhere.
[the figure points to a small crawlspace in the wall, and hops in; the Darks follow]
//////////////////
[at the same time, the Tour Guide returns from his talk with the Nomble]
TG: Uh... it turns out I lead you the wrong way. I just came back from... the map of the town. Yeah. You need to go the other way.
[Mecha and the Doll head back; the Guide stays]
MK: Hey, ain't you comin'?
TG: No, I am needed elsewhere.
[the Guide slowly walks around a corner]
//////////////////
[they reach a large room]
[the room: the Darks entered from a vent on the top little 'walkway,' another vent is visible further down the walkway]
[however, the figure is standing below the walkway, in front of a lone door]
TG?: *very slightly distorted* Come down. There is a secret lab in here, with all the answers you seek.
[camera zoom-out, back to the MILKMAN]
MM: Hm?
JOE: Sir?
MM: Oh, it's nothing. It's just... I think this is Adjoined Usher, again, but... he seems.... odd.
JOE: How so?
MM: He... I don't know. Come, JOE. Watch this with me.
JOE: Okay.
[back to the screen]
[Dark nervously hops down to the ground, and looks around at the blood splattered everywhere]
Dark: What... happened here?
TG: Oh, there was a security system in here. Very deadly. Various Chao died.
Dark: Was?
Chapter 24: Run toooo theeee Hills... Run forrrr Yourrrr Liyiyiiife!
TG: Ah, well, the... *twitch* ...uh... Red Metal destroyed it. It's gone now, though.
Dark: ...you okay?
TG: Why, yes. I am fine. Just...
[camera zoom-in on Dark's face]
TG: ..the Red Metal is quite frightful, you see.
[Dark becomes slightly curious, anxious, and very scared. He looks like he really wants to head for the hills]
[he discards it as "primitive instincts"]
[back to normal camera angles]
Dark: ...I see. *gulp* And, the... answers you spoke of. What answers?
TG: How Red Metal got here. How to stop it.
Dark: But... but this board we found said there was no known way to stop it!
TG: ..the Red Metal is quite frightful, you see.
Dark: Right, I suppose that makes sense-- huh? What?
[eerie silence]
TG: Well. *cough* *hack* ...I presume you would like to just see the answers for yourself, correct?
Dark: (thinking) Something's wrong here...
TG: So? Won't you open the door? It's your average "step near it to open" door.
Dark: You... you mean "automatic."
TG: It matters not.
Dark: Right. Um... if you say so, Junior.
[Dark slowly steps towards the door, step by step]
[he looks around: the Darks are cautiously and horrifyingly watching his steps; the Guide is standing completely still, watching nothing but the door]
[Dark is extremely scared by now, although he does not see a logical reason to be]
[he is slowly approaching the door]
[step]
[by]
[step (note: these aren't fillers. Trust me. They're so you can actually FEEL how Dark feels, y'know?)]
[suddenly, this happens just as the door opens--]
?: DARK, NO!!!
[Dark instantly turns around, and for him, time stops]
[he sees Shade Junior with the Darks, all of them with terrorized expressions staring at the door]
[he turns and sees the other Guide slowly turning towards Dark before just disappearing]
[time slowly reverts to normal as Dark turns to face the door, and screams]
[the camera zooms out to the MILKMAN and JOE, who are screaming, as well]
////////////////
[cut to Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll, walking onwards through the ruined city]
MK: So--
TD: Shut up.
MK: I was only trying to--
TD: Be quiet.
MK: Why?
TD: I think I hear something.
[Mecha quiets down and listens]
[silence]
MK: I don't hear any--
TD: SHH!!!
[silence-- except for a very silent warping sound which quickly stops]
TD: ...it stopped?
MK: What WAS that?
[suddenly, the Guide walks in]
TG: *slightly distorted* I know the way out.
////////////////
[back with Dark, the door WASN'T open, it was something much worse...]
Dark: OH HERO CHAOS OH HERO CHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOS *getting higher and higher* OHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOS!!!
[somehow, he manages to say all that in one second as the Nomble engulfs the entire floor (the others on the walkway are fine) and crushes Dark]
Shade: ....bye-bye, Dark.
[a mourning and solemn pause]
[camera zoom-out to the MILKMAN and JOE, who are watching, and breathing heavily]
JOE: Man... that was creepy.
MM: Indeed, it WAS. But... who was that Tour Guide, then?
JOE: Only one way to find out. Keep watching.
[back to the screen]
SJR: ......(whispering) master, what did you do to him?
[Junior hears telepathy from the Nomble] 
SJR: ...but... why? *getting louder in anger* He wasn't a bad chao!
[the others look at him oddly]
Chapter 25: The Guide to the Afterlife
SJR: He was just a moron who YOU helped by making him smarter! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
SShade: Who are you talking to?
SJR: Stay out of this. Yes, master, I KNOW he knew too much, but couldn't you have spared him?
Shade: Wait, are you talking to the Nomble?
SJR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, now please, stay out of this! NOMBLE! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING! WHY DID YOU KILL MY DAD!?
[pause]
SJR: .........oh. You could've said that before.
DH: Dude, what's going on? What'd he say?
SJR: Not now, I have some Poker Gang members to lead!
[pause] 
SJR: ...they're what? ...but... but I'm HERE, there's no way I could already be--..... oh, shit!
Shade: What?
SJR: Guys, I gotta go. Tour guide stuff; hope you understand.
Shade: But--
[Shade Junior disappears]
Shade: Junior, what's happened to you? *sigh*
///////////////
[cut to Mecha and the Doll being lead by *supposedly* Shade Junior]
TD: Say, uh... where are we going?
TG: I told you. Out.
TD: Yeah, I understand that; out where, though?
TG: Just... out.
MK: Seriously, can't you tell us?
[the Guide stops and turns to face them]
TG: All right. I understand this city fills you with misery, correct?
MK: Uh... yeah, I guess so.
TG: Well, it's time to leave this misery! I shall lead you on the path to the light!
MK: Of the outside world?
TG: ...anyway, follow.
[the Guide continues leading them; they reach the Bus Station]
TG: Just a little longer. Keep following.
[the Guide leads them down into a dark corridor]
///////////////
[cut to Shade Junior, hurrying to the Bus Station, hoping he's not too late]
SJR: *sigh* I've made a big mistake... and now I'm only making it worse... but, this has to be done.
///////////////
TD: Uh... I dunno, I mean, it looks kinda dark in there.
TG: Relax. The exit is through here.
TD: Oh, why didn't you say so?
MK: STARDUST SPEEDYWAY ACT 2, AWAY!
[they go into the corridor, and the Guide is about to enter a seperate room when Junior whacks him with a baseball bat]
TG: UGH! Oof.......
[the Guide falls to the floor, and rolls down the hall until he hits a wall]
TG: You... I thought you were guiding the chao...
SJR: Well, they can guide themselves.
[cut to the Darks at a large bottomless pit]
DH: How will we do this?
Shade: Don't worry, this pit is OBVIOUSLY fake!
[Shade is about to step off the edge when the camera returns to the Guides]
SJR: Besides, I'm the Nomble's assistant. What the Dark Garden are YOU? His secretary?
TG: *gets up* Me? Just call me... your tour guide to the afterlife...
SJR: What's THAT supposed to mean?
TG: Simple... I shall take you straight to it, and you can 'guide' yourself afterwards...
SJR: Shut up and let's settle this.
[they charge at each other, but the After-Guide stops, Junior stops in curiosity]
TG: ....where'd you get the bat?
[cut to Onett, Ness is about to smack a vicious snake with a baseball bat when Shade Junior steals it]
SJR: I need to borrow this. Knew you'd understand! *runs off*
[Ness stands in shock, the snake lunges at him]
[cut to the Guides, they fight]
[in the end, Junior wins (thanks to Ness' trusty bat which he doesn't have anymore)]
SJR: I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta split.
[he runs down the hall, and hurries through the dimension-changing surroundings]
SJR: Man, I hope I'm not too late...
[camera zoom-in on the unconscious "guide" on the ground, he slowly lifts the head of his cloak]
[the camera switches to the chao before the identity is revealed]
[the camera zooms out to the MILKMAN, who saw the identity of the Tour Guide]
MM: ....but..... that doesn't make sense.
JOE: What doesn't, sir?
MM: This Tour Guide just revealed his or her identity.... but, it doesn't make sense.
JOE: Well, who WAS it?
MM: No... it was most likely a mask. Doesn't matter.
[back to the screen]
///////////////
[Shade continuously steps off the edge, before Dark-Hawk grabs him]
DH: Shade, that's not working. Why not try... jumping across?
Shade: What? That's CRAZY talk!
[Dark-Hawk jumps across, and gets a puzzle piece]
Shade: Oh.
Chapter 26: No Turning Back
[they return to the railing which they were at originally, and try to open the locked door]
Red: I've got it, let's blow it up!
[Red plants explosives, and detonates them]
[the door is still there]
Shade: I...don't think that's working. Let's try a different door.
[they enter a different door, and find a large, yellow cupboard]
[after some smashing, they find an entrance to the next room and grab the puzzle piece]
Shade: Uh... the next puzzle piece is....
LGS: There! What's that?
[they see a blue puzzle piece above their heads, on the roof, through a skylight]
Knuckle: Now how we gonna get up there?
//////////////
[Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll are stuck inside a giant cage]
MK: Stardust Speedway, Zone 2, my robotic as--
TD: Shh! Someone is coming!
[it's the REAL Tour Guide (Shade Junior on some strangely comfortable stilts)]
MK: HEY! You big douchebag! I oughta pummel you 'til you drop!
TG: Relax, you two. That other tour guide wasn't me; he was an impostor. Let me get you out of there.
TD: Who WAS that other guy, anyway?
TG: I honestly don't know. Uh... let's see what this button does...
[BEEP! they fall down into a pit]
TG: Oops.
[Shade Junior looks into the pit, and doesn't see the ground]
//////////////
[cut to Shade standing on a tower of chao, trying to reach the vent at the top]
Shade: *groan* I need a crowbar. HE!
[He manages to climb up]
He: I got it. *smash* There ya go.
[Shade finds himself on the roof of the building, and sees the Puzzle piece]
Shade: Way too easy.
[Shade steps on the skylight, and falls right through]
Shade: Ow. *cough*
He: *sigh* I'll get it. *grabs it, hops through skylight*
//////////////
[Mecha wakes up; the Tails Doll is looking around]
MK: Doll... where are we?
TD: No idea.
[all they know is they are on a large, floating island; lots of random structures are everywhere]
[Mecha stares at the giant "Shell" sign floating in mid-air to their right]
MK: "Shell?"
TD: I think Shell is a bad thing. I can't remember, though.
MK: Dude, I think this whole CITY is a bad thing.
TD: Wait... if we were in a city, why are we now on a floating island in the middle of nowhere?
MK: How should I know?
[they argue for a little big longer before stopping abruptly]
MK: Dude.
TD: Yeah?
MK: We're on a random, slow conveyor belt.
TD: Yuh-huh.
MK: That will dump us off the island.
TD: Yeah.
MK: And kill us.
TD: That's right.
[pause]
Both: AAAAHHHH!!! *flee*
//////////////
Chapter 27: Interdimensional Gateways?
[cut to the chao running away from giant crushers in a white and red cave, grabbing a puzzle piece, and entering a teleporter]
[they warp to a small corridor overlooking a large door]
Shade: *pant*
He: *pant*
PF: *pant*
Everyone else: *pant*
PF: That was awesome.
Telepathy: The Final Puzzle Pieces have been found! The Research Chamber is now open...
[they find their way back to the main hall, and enter the newly opened door]
[they ride an elevator down, and hear someone banging on a giant door]
Shade: Should we open it?
SShade: Go for it.
[it turns out, Mecha and Tails Doll are behind the door!]
MK: *sigh* Man, that was weird.
TD: Thank you for letting us out!
[pause]
[Shade closes the door]
[SShade slaps him, and reopens it]
SShade: What happened?
MK: Some tour guide guy took us to a cage, and made us fall a long way to a floating island, then we ran away and found a teleporter and found this door, and you slammed it on my foot.
Shade: Oh. Sorry.
TD: Dude, this is nuts! There are all these interdimensional gateways in there, and I nearly threw up!
He: How can a doll--
LGS: Ap-ap-ap-ap.... we don't wanna know.
SB: Did you say... interdimensional gateways?
TD: Yeah. What'd you expect? EXTRAdimensional gateways? Don't make me laugh.
SB: I remember hearing something about these labs... the scientists here were working on those gateways before everything went kablooey.
?: Stop!
[a Tour Guide comes running in]
TG: I have something important to tell you!
Shade: Junior?
[the guide takes off his cloak, and yeah, it's Shade Junior]
SJR: I had a talk with my boss. Dark is still alive!
Shade: Whoa, that's some pretty awesome news there!
SJR: But, there's some bad news. He's alive, alright... somewhere in OMG2 park.
Shade: Well, at least we know where he is!
SB: I think I see what your son's getting to. OMG2 park... that place, I hear, is even worse than the original.
Shade: We'll do what we have to. Now, how do we get to OMG2?
SJR: The teleports should take us there.
[they check out the teleporters, and find four-- the fourth is locked up]
Shade: Oh.... crap.
SB: Relax, Shade. OMG2 is in THIS teleporter, not the locked up one.
Shade: Really? Cool.
[they enter a green teleporter, and spawn in a lab]
[outside the lab is a weird, floating island with odd structures everywhere]
Shade: DARK! YOU OUT HERE, MAN?
Dark: Shade!
[Dark is on a floating island just a bit too far away]
Dark: Help me!
PF: It's useless. We can't make that jump!
SJR: Wait. I remember hearing about a jump module somewhere in this city.... like a jetpack.
Shade: A jetpack? Where the crap would we find a JETPACK!? It's like Purflee said; it's USELESS!
Dark: Please, help...
Shade: I'm sorry, Dark, but I'm..... I'm really fed UP with all the stuff we've put up with here!
He: What are you talking about? What do you mean you're "fed up?"
Shade: "Fed up." SLANG. British for "I've had it." Also see, "Sick and tired of."
He: I know what it means. But, you're telling me you just don't care anymore?
Shade: Of course I care! I'm just.... I just want to STOP! Take a breather! You know?
LGS: We're all tired, dude, but we wanna get out of here.
SShade: Actually, maybe Shade is right. If we rest up a little, we'll have more energy.
He: .........
SB: She has a point, He.
He: ......fine.
Shade: Sorry, Dark. You're gonna have to just stay there for tonight.
Dark: Uh.... okay! I suppose....
[so, they find their way out of the Research Labs, and rest in the second floor of the facility]
Chapter 28: Livin' in the City
[cut to Mecha Knuckles, walking to a large room with a large window; it is the middle of the night]
MK: Man, this is boring.
He: Tell me about it.
MK: Wha?
[He is in there, sitting on a bench, looking out the window at the Red Metal'd city]
He: I don't know about you, but I think we should be focusing our efforts on getting outta this place.
MK: Yeah, but..... the jetpack could be ANYWHERE in this place.
He: There are parts of these labs we haven't explored yet. Maybe the pioneers also invented weird jetpacks.
MK: Maybe.
He: For all we know, a jetpack could've been in the teleporter right next to the one we picked!
MK: There's no need to get so upset about it, He. It's been one helluva long day.
He: ......yeah. You're right. Thanks.
[He gets up and walks out of the room; Mecha walks to the window, and stares out at the weird scene]
[it appears as if the whole city is now floating in mid-air, due to Red Metal; roads are destroyed, buildings are cut in half]
MK: Damn.
TD: Impressive, isn't it?
[the Tails Doll is hovering in the doorway]
MK: Why does everyone want to sneak up on me today?
TD: I dunno.
[the Doll moves to the window]
TD: So, what are you gonna do tomorrow?
MK: *sigh* I'll probably just follow the rest of the chao. Not much else to do.
TD: I see what you mean. Not even my awesome curse powers can get us out of this one.
MK: ....and that Nomble dude is scary as fuck.
TD: Yep...
MK: ..hey, I've got a neat idea!
TD: What?
MK: Tomorrow, let's just.... explore the city, and write down notes and stuff!
TD: That sounds REALLY boring.
MK: It's more fun than it sounds.
TD: *sigh* Well, I have no other plans tomorrow. Sure, why not?
MK: Sweet!
[cut to the morning; Mecha is exploring the second floor; he walks into a big library overlooking the Research Labs]
[the female Shade is there, reading a book]
MK: Wassup?
SShade: Huh? Oh, hey.
MK: Watcha reading?
SShade: Just this journal from the person who used to live in this room.
MK: You mean Turrican?
SShade: ....how do you know that?
MK: It says his name above the door. See? "Turrican."
SShade: Huh. That name pops up EVERYWHERE in this city.
MK: I think he was the lead pioneer person.
SShade: And on what grounds to you base this assumption?
MK: ............................run that by me again.
SShade: Why do you think that?
MK: I'm..... not sure. Just a hunch. So, what's in that journal?
SShade: Nothing we didn't know. It says they were working on interdimensional gateways.
MK: Ah. So, any other interesting books in there?
SShade: No idea.
[Mecha browses the collection, and spots another journal]
Chapter 29: Lore of Chao Talk
(Turrican in the Deluxe Office)
"What in the world is happening to my utopia? A janitor came to my room today, claiming he found a secret passage in there last night. He explored it again, and found TWO. Just...... I don't know what to say, really. Then, he accuses ME of having built them! One of them leads to the emergency shotgun storage! I didn't even know we HAD an emergency shotgun storage!
"I came to work this morning expecting more surprises. I got them. Apparently, some prankster had erected a statue of me, and placed one in the lobby! And as if that wasn't enough, we now have a BASEMENT. I've never heard of workers building a basement overnight! It's a big one, too. We even found two chasms down there, and a closed door at the other side. My workers claimed to have no recollection of having built such a thing, but said they would get to work on building a bridge across, to see what other surprises are in store.
"Well, today, I was investigating my statue when I hit some kind of switch. Nothing actually happened, but I fell backwards into the wall, and fell down some kind of WELL! At the bottom, it was so pitch black, I had to stumble around before I came to on the Deluxe Office's rooftop. Chalk another beautiful establishment up for 'messed up.' I don't see how this could get any worse....
"They.... they built bridges across the chasms today. One of them, however, turned into several red cubes, and they floated across the gaps in a puzzle-like fashion. This was not until my best team of explorers entered the door, of course, so now they're essentially trapped in there! Luckily, we have a two-way radio with us, and they have one, so we can keep in contact. Their last transmission spoke of a big maze, a strange structure, a wall of bricks, and then some sort of dancehall. Odd."
MK: Hm. That's the last one in the Deluxe Office section. What about a few pages back?
(Turrican in the City Hall)
"This is great! They recently built an enormous skyscraper, and said I could live in it! So wonderful! I am currently in my new room, right at the top of the tower. And, I must say, it's better than I previously thought. My room, itself, has three floors, and a GREAT view!
"Something's not right, here. I.... I woke up, only to find a man in my room. He called himself 'Wandering Idiot.' Then... he vanished. When I went outside the building, I saw two new buildings opposite mine. This, added to the wall behind a garden, means I am boxed in here. I cannot get out of this place. I'll investigate these two new buildings later.
"Great prank, you guys. Yeah. Funny. Inside one building was a ledge too high for me to climb, and six closets. Inside the other building, I found nothing more than an unopenable door, and a mysterious box above it. VERY funny. I'm laughing SO hard, you.... comedians. You wanna know something else? That building with the ledge and the closets? If that wasn't there, I'd be able to LEAVE. What are you jerks trying to pull? Without me, this city wouldn't even EXIST!
"I'm beginning to suspect that this is no mere skyscraper. No sign of the Nomble yet, but I think the city wants me dead. And, I can't find my chef.
"Three days have passed since I last wrote in this journal. I couldn't find it. It ended up being in the library, though. Odd... I didn't place it there. It seems the others are lost in here, as well.
".....I am scared. Truly, truly scared. I THOUGHT the others were here, but that is only because I heard people walking, and chatting. The truth? Not a soul is in here. AND.... there is a new hallway on the first floor. It's pitch black, though. I can't see a thing in there. Once I find my flashlight, I'm looking down there.
"I AM GETTING OUT OF HERE. ONE WAY.... OR ANOTHER. Down in that dark hallway... was a monster, unlike anything I have ever seen before in my life. This city.... this city is CRAZY.
"I found a way out. Yes. I found this secret passage underneath the elevator shaft. It's GOT to be the way out. I'm investigating it right now. It's awfully dark, but I've got a flashlight I'm leaving here to act as a light. Right here, it seems like a small hallway. But, further down? It seems like a frozen mine. I'll check it out.
[a page has been ripped out]
"NOTE TO SELF: SEAL ENTRANCE TO MINES, SEAL IT VERY THICK. SEAL IT. NOW.
"The mines.... have been sealed. *blood stain* has been thwarted, once again. I'm.... I'm resting for the night, then looking for another way out.
"On the third floor... is a door. A door... labelled 'Amnizu.' Inside that door.... is a long, dark hallway, leading to a door lit by an unseen light. I... I've avoided it all this time, but I decided to go in there today. I shouldn't have.
"YES! I am now out of the building... I am now out of the block. I am out of that Hell! Note to self: The exit is in *page tear*"
MK: Whoa. That sounds.... creepy. Hey, what's this about a bus station/entertainment center?
(Turrican in the Entertainment Center)
"I spoke with the hilarious jokesters who built the skyscraper. They said they never made such a place! Ha! Can you believe that? Anyway, my OTHER builders, the ones I trust, built a magnificent facility today. Sort of a town gathering center, they called it 'the entertainment center.' It's also a bus station. It reminds me of the Train Station, and the Office Complex place.
Chapter 30: A Lot of Stuff Happens in this Chapter
"It is a nice building. Yes. Three floors. The main floor is the one with the cafeteria, which I swear looks like the one from the skyscraper; the living room, which has a television, a radio, a calendar, a couch, and a chess table; and some form of Administration chamber. The second floor is an art museum, with some rather strange pictures. Finally, the basement has three Security doors. For some reason, they refused to let me in! The nerve!
"I sincerely hate my builders. They said they'd let me, as well as a team of explorers, 'have some alone time with this building.' Other than the explorers, this is exactly what happened with the skyscraper! ...I'll write later with my findings.
"Well, this place is definitely less scary than the skyscraper. The explorers found a way into the Admin Room, and found some odd type of code.
"Wh....what is going on here?! My explorers went to the cafeteria to eat, the door closed, and now it won't open! All I hear is a constant chatter, coming from the other side. I then decided to take a breather, and admire some art. However, I discovered a secret behind one of the paintings... a room with no exits. And, since I FELL into the room, I am COMPLETELY trapped! I've been banging on the walls for HOURS now!
"It turns out I wasn't banging on the right wall, because eventually, I hit a certain wall, and it opened, letting me into a long, pointless, black and white hallway. I was still trapped. But, lucky me, I found an exit, and am now back in the main building.
"I got the cafeteria door open. ....the sounds stopped. ......not a soul. Not. Again."
MK: Well, I think that's enough reading for one day. That City Hall place sounded interesting...
[Mecha gets the Tails Doll, and they go.... to the City Hall]
TD: So, why'd you choose this place?
MK: I found a journal of the head honcho. It seems he had your average "horror movie" in that place.
TD: Average horror movie? That sounds interesting.
MK: I've still got the journal with me. Wanna read it?
TD: I'll flick through it.
[Mecha hands the Doll the journal; he skims through the City Hall section]
TD: Ah. Wow. ...what's this about a dark hallway?
MK: No idea.
[a giant explosion is heard, coming from Daedalus Labs]
[the screen flashes white; the two go unconscious]
[Mecha and the Doll reawaken on the top of a high ledge]
[Metal Sonic is there, too]
MK: B..boss?
MS: Wha? What just happened?
TD: It appears we've... as the chao say, "respawned."
[Metal looks out a window]
MS: More than THAT.
TD+MK: What?
MS: The sky.... it's nighttime. It looks unnatural, too. Looks.... like a skybox.
MK: A skybox? Is that a new game system?
MS: No. It's.... well, to put it simply, it looks like we're trapped in some kind of video game. ...but....
TD: But what?
MS: It's got to be a skybox, but.... it doesn't LOOK like one. Normally... in video games, the sky is just a square, with the sky TEXTURE pasted on.
TD: Lemme guess. It looks like a real sky, but in a box?
MS: The opposite. It looks like a FAKE sky, but not in a box.
TD: I.... think I get it.
MK: Enough THINKING! Let's try looking around!
MS: Good idea.
[they hop down the ledge, and land in a building with six closed closet-like structures]
MK: Psst. Doll. Doesn't this seem.... FAMILIAR?
TD: Yeah. We ARE in the City Hall place, after all.
MK: Still... aren't these closet things supposed to be.... I dunno, OPEN? And filled with items?
TD: .......I think you may be on to something.
MS: Enough chit-chat! We've got to look around!
[Metal quickly checks in on the Labs]
[he returns very quickly]
TD: That was fast.
MK: What's up?
MS: The puzzles have reset themselves.
Chapter 31: Taking Care of Business
TD: That's.... that's pretty big. What makes you think that?
MS: When I went into Daedalus Labs, the door was closed, and the box above it that usually shows the puzzle pieces...
TD: ...was empty?
MS: Yeah.
MK: DAMN! And we were SO close to getting out of here! AARRGH! *punches hedges*
MS: Calm down! We ARE gonna get outta here!
MK: But.... but...!
TD: Mecha... I think the respawn mode is on. We can die. It'll be alright.
MK: ....fine. Let's do this piece of crap.
MS: That's the spirit! Now, c'mon, let's go!
[they enter the City Hall, and get started]
MS: Okay, anybody know what we gotta do first?
MK: Um.... according to this journal, there's something about a flashlight, and a dark hallway with a monster in it.
MS: Dark hallway? Monster? Sounds interesting. Let's go.
[they head down some ramps, into a very dark pit]
TD: Sure is dark down here.
MK: Yup.
MS: You got that right.
[they hop across some platforms, and hear some growling]
MK: What's that noise?
MS: Anybody got a light?
TD: Uh.... I carry a cigarette lighter with me.
MS: Give it.
[Metal turns on the lighter, revealing a mutated zombie]
MS: Oh, hello.
[Metal turns the lighter off]
[SMAAAAAAAASH!]
[Metal turns the lighter back on, and they resume the exploring]
[they reach a dead end]
MS: Great. Now what?
TD: I have no idea....
MK: What about this thing? This little... crawlspace down here?
MS: Hmm.... Tails Doll, go in there.
TD: Wha? Why me?
MS: You're the smallest.
[Tails Doll grumbles, and starts crawling into there]
TD: Hey, there's a weird.... room down here. It's got a weird....... keyboard.
MS: Well, bring it back to us!
TD: Fine! Fine...
[the Doll grabs the keyboard, and exits the crawlspace]
TD: .....did you guys hear that?
MS: Hear what?
TD: Somebody just said, "The dark area will seal off in 20 seconds."
MK: I didn't hear anything.
MS: Yeah, me neither.
[they hear the door slowly moving]
MS: I heard that!
MK: Let's skedaddle!
[they make a run for it, and escape before the door closes]
MS: So.... what else did the journal talk about?
MK: I've got it right here.
[Mecha hands Metal the journal; he skims through it]
MS: Huh? Something about a mine.....
MK: Yeah, that part was odd to me, too.
MS: Shall we go there?
TD: Let's.
Chapter 32: Beneath the Elevator Shaft
MS: Okay.... the book says it was beneath the elevator.
TD: Well, the elevator is currently on the floor above us, so...
MS: Perfect! Let's go.
[they enter the elevator shaft, see the elevator above them, and look around]
[instantly, they spot a doorway that has been thoroughly sealed with bricks]
MK: That's got to be it. C'mon, help me break it open.
[they work for a few minutes, breaking every brick open]
[inside is very dark; Metal activates the lighter, revealing a VERY old hallway]
TD: .......sure you wanna go in?
MS: Of course I'm sure! Let's go!
[they walk down the hallway, and reach a small room]
MS: *groan* It's so freaking DARK in here!
MK: Lemme look for a light. ....ah, found something!
[Mecha activates a flashlight lying on a table, revealing the walls around them are covered in blood]
All: .........
MS: Damn.
TD: Hey, guys.... look at THIS wall.
[one wall has writing in blood]
MS: "No Hope."
TD: It kinda looks like it says, "Nomble."
MS: Eh, kinda.
[they all look at the boarded up mine-like entrance]
[it seems as if everything past it is icy]
[after breaking the wooden boards blocking the entrance, the Poker Gang slowly enters the mine]
MS: Man, it's just way too DARK in here! Do we have any other lights in here? I hate the lighter.
MK: Lemme feel around for one. .....I think I found something!
[Mecha turns on a light; they are in a frozen cavern with a frozen river running across it]
[there are no apparent exits other than the way they came]
MS: Gimme that journal! *snatch* Hmm... "NOTE TO SELF: SEAL ENTRANCE TO MINES. SEAL IT VERY THICK." Yeah, we've already gotten past that part...
TD: What about this part? "*blood stain* has been thwarted once again?" Wha...?
MK: Wait, Metal, don't you have some sort of awesome vision to let you see PAST the blood stain?
MS: That's stupid. Why would I have that? That like some kinda fantasy o' yours?
MK: Yes....
MS: Well, I do. So, let me look at this..... *SUPA RANDOM AWESOME SCAN FEATURE* ......whoa.
MK: What?
MS: It says.... well, TAKE A FUCKING GUESS.
TD: Nomble?
MS: DING-DING-DING-DING!!! Tails Doll, you are officially smarter than a 5th grader. Congrats.
TD: Dude, EVERYBODY'S smarter than a 5th grader.
MK: Yeah, even 4th graders.
MS: WHATEVER! He got it right. It says "Nomble."
MK: .....but, if it's sealed in here..... where IS it?
[nothing looks significant in the room]
MS: *sigh* Nothing's down here, then? All right, let's get outta here.
[they begin to leave when they hear a monstrous shriek]
TD: Run faster?
MS: Run faster.
[they run very fast out the doorway, and call for the elevator]
MS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
MK: If the elevator comes down, then it'll crush it!
MS: YOU FOOL! THE NOMBLE DOESN'T GET CRUSHED! THE NOMBLE DOES THE CRUSHING!
MK: You're right!
[they run, hear a loud explosion, look back to see the Nomble chasing them, and run even faster]
[eventually, they reach the courtyard outside, and hear the Nomble coming closer]
TD: What will we do now?!
MS: Stand here and die, boys. Die like REAL men.
MK: We're robots.
MS: Then cower in fear.
TD: Maybe we can hide in this garden over here?
MS: I doubt it, but let's try it.
[they hide in the garden hedges out in the courtyard; Mecha is resting against the back of a large Turrican statue when the Tails Doll disappears]
TD: Yipes!
MS: Quiet! ....huh? Where'd he go?
TD: I'm down here! I'm.... in some kind of secret passage.
MK: Whoa. How'd you get down there?
TD: I don't KNOW! Just get in here, and let's get outta here!
///////////////
Chapter 33: But Where Are They Now?
[the camera cuts to the Deluxe Office; the Darks have 'respawned' there]
Shade: What the? What just..... huh? How are we...?
[Red pops his head out from around the corner]
Red: The puzzles have reset.
Shade: WHAT?! Aw, crap! No! NO! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
[Shade runs around in circles]
Shade: NO! This place... it's so... so... we're lost... help me... help me...
Red: Shade, don't succumb to the city's freakiness. If you give in to fear, then all hope is lost.
Shade: You're right. *sniff* But, I'm scared.
Red: I understand. ...I understand.
[and, Shade the female is there, too]
//////////////
[cut to the Arrival Center; Chao, Hero, and Tail have explored the area]
Hero: Well, this sucks.
Chao: What? The fact that the puzzles have reset?
Hero: No. The fact that we're in the smallest building in this blasted city.
Tail: Chao, are we gonna be here forever?
Chao: Of course not! We've just got to survive! I'm sure Shade and the others will save us...
Hero: ...hey, guys, you hear something?
Chao: ................................I think so.
[a small, low, muttering sound is heard coming from inside a vent]
Chao: It's coming from in there.
[Chao lowers his head so he can see inside the vent]
Hero: See anything?
Chao: No. It's pitch black. You wanna open it?
Hero: No! But, go ahead.
[Chao lifts the vent cover off, revealing... pitch black. You can't see squat]
Chao: Anybody want to go in?
Tail: ........I will.
Chao: Tail, no! You're still young!
Tail: That's it, though! I'm TIRED of being the baby! I wanna be brave! I'm going in.
[Tail starts crawling into the vent]
Hero: There goes the boldest Hero chao to ever live. ...and the deadest.
Chao: Hero!
Hero: I didn't say nuttin'.
//////////////
[cut to the Office of Death; He, Purflee the second, and Luis are sitting in front of the Magic 8-Ball]
LGS: *laughter* Yeah, but what about Purf? Will HE ever get some?
[the Magic 8-Ball says, "No."]
All: OH!!!
LGS: That's what I thought.
He: So, Magic 8-Ball... will Luis die a horrible, horrible death in this city?
[the Magic 8-Ball says, "George Benson."]
He: You'd better watch out, Mister Sumatuma. I hear George is lurking around every corner.
[I don't think these three are that bothered.]
//////////////
[cut to the Bus Station/Entertainment Center; Phantom, Dark-Hawk, and Shadow-Bonic are enjoying some art]
[or, rather, Phantom and Dark-Hawk are running around, screaming in a black-and-white corridor]
[Shadow Bonic is just standing, leaning against a wall, arms crossed, shaking his head]
DH: IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!
Ph: MOMMY! SAVE ME!!
SB: *sigh*
[Dark-Hawk falls over; Phantom trips over Dark-Hawk]
SB: We'll never get out of here at this rate.
//////////////
Chapter 34: From Terrifying to Worse
[cut to the Poker Gang in City Hall; after a while of crawling, they have reached a dark, empty room]
[loud rumbling and roaring is heard from outside-- the Nomble is still loose]
MS: This is crazy! We should just go out there, and face this beast!
MK: No, Metal! You said it yourself, remember? The Nomble doesn't get crushed; the Nomble does the crushing!
MS: Ah, yes... well.... then, what? Shall we just sit around here like scared idiots?
MK: I dunno, you tell ME! YOU'RE the boss!
TD: Guys, will you shut up for two seconds? There's some kind of brick-ish thing here...
MS: Gimme that *snatch*! Hmmm...... this looks like a puzzle piece.
TD: ..did you hear that?
MK: Hear what?
TD: "The Retinal Damage Puzzle Piece Has Been Found."
MS: ......Tails Doll, we're robots. We can't hear telepathy. Strangely, you can, so... whatever.
[Metal looks at a wall]
MS: Hang on. I'm detecting something behind this wall. Anybody have dynamite?
MK: Uh, yeah, I hav--
MS: Just kidding. I have dynamite. Go away.
[Metal plants some dynamite at the wall, and blows it up, revealing more dark passageways, and a pod]
MK: Hmm... some form of podific storage device.
MS: Shut up, geeko. It's just a pod.
MK: If it's just a pod, prove it!
MS: Fine, I will! I'll stand in it.
[he stands in it, but is locked in]
[he hears, "Sledgehammer!" being sung, then is let out]
MS: ..........okay, that was stupid.
[footsteps]
TD: Who's there?
TG: Calm down, it's just me.
MK: Shade Junior?
TG: Yes. Of course. *slightly distorted* Of course I'm Shade Junior.. who else could I be?
[the Tour Guide? walks into the room]
TG?: I have news for you. Something bad's happening in the Daedalus labs.
MS: What's wrong?
TG?: The intredimensional gateways have malfunctioned, resulting in those explosions you heard earlier.
MK: So, what happened?
TG?: The teleporters have backfired, so.... how shall I explain this in layman's terms?
[he thinks for a bit]
TG?: Basically, we are on the other side of a teleporter now.
TD: Uh.... what?
TG?: Normally, the teleporters take you to different planets. Now, they take you to the individual 'maps' of the city.
MS: So, the City Hall is one of them?
TG?: Yes.
MS: That would explain why it's like a video game now.
TG?: There you go. So, let me be the first to say that you are going to die in this city.
MS: Pfft. We're robots. We don't DIE.
TG?: Then, you shall spend eternity in here. I'm terribly sorry.
MK: Wait... what about YOU?
TG?: What about me?
MK: Aren't YOU stuck in here, too?
TG?: Oh, uh..... no, I... have special connections, so... I can teleport.
MS: Heh, why didn't you say so? Could you get us hooked up?
TG?: No.
[the Guide disappars]
[pause]
[more roaring and rumbling are heard]
TD: ......okay, anybody else think this sucks?
[Metal starts heading out to another hallway]
MK: Hey, where ya going?
MS: Away from here. This is.... this is just crazy.
[Metal stops, and starts punching the wall]
MS: I... I can't take it much longer. This city is so........ so...
MK: So infuriating?
MS: Yeah! It's huge... it's deadly...... and now, we're stuck here forever!
TD: Hey... it'll be okay.
MS: No, it WON'T!
MK: C'mon, man; what happened to that big, manly robot that always leads us out of trouble?
MS: He's dead.
TD: That's not true! The Metal we know wouldn't be upset over this! He'd embrace it!
MK: Embrace it, and fight it! He'd look for a loophole! He'd kick some ass!
[as Metal hears that last sentence, he gets a blank stare]
MK: .....Metal?
MS: ..................kick.... some........... ass?
MK: Yeah, whoop some behind. Smack some bad guys where it hurts.
MS: ....I... I haven't heard anyone say....... things like that... in so long.
[Metal rests his back to the wall]
MS: Boys.... I believe it's time I told you how I became so awesome.
TD: ....that's pretty random.
MS: Well, you guys deserve to know why I'm so different from back then, in the times of Sonic CD n' stuff.
TD: Still pretty random.
MS: It'll all make sense in the end. Just trust me.
Chapter 35: From Hyper to Ultra
[the scene changes to after Sonic Heroes; Metal's deactivated body is held by Omega]
MS (voice-over): Actually, there's still some debate over what happened there, so I'll skip ahead.
[the scene fast-forwards to an undetermined amount of time later; Eggman brings Metal back to his base]
[Metal "wakes up," and sees Eggman]
MS: Creator...
Egg: Shut up! It's been a terrible day so far, and you're not making it any better!
MS: But... what..?
Egg: I was bested by Sonic, AGAIN! That blasted scoundrel just won't stop beating me!
MS: ....creator.... I want to challenge him.
Egg: What? YOU, challenge him?
MS: I won't fail this time.
Egg: Of course you will! It's inevitable!
MS: No... I promise.... I'll beat him.
Egg: I won't allow you to even try, Metal. In fact, I'm putting you under stasis.
MS: Wha....? No.......
[Eggman puts Metal into a pod, and seals it]
MS (VO): Eggman put me into cryogenic stasis for some time. However, that base was destroyed by Sonic not soon after.
[time passes; Sonic destroys the base]
[the stasis deactivates, waking Metal up, but rubble crashes down in front of the pod, preventing him from leaving]
MS: Wha? Ugh.... can't... get it open...
MS (VO): I was stuck in that pod for an even longer amount of time.
[time passes]
MS (VO): During that time, I had time to think about my REAL priorities.
MK (VO): What do you mean?
MS (VO): Should I really serve the Doctor? Or... should I, if I ever got out, start my own life? Have some fun?
TD (VO): Of course, you chose to have your own life, right?
MS (VO): Of course. After a while, some more rubble randomly crashed, somehow knocking that rubble out of the way.
[Metal leaves the pod]
MS: I'm free!
[Metal sees blueprints for "Hyper Metal Sonic," or, him]
MS: .........."Hyper Metal Sonic......."
MS (VO): Strangely, I found you guys locked in pods, as well.
[Metal finds Mecha and the Tails Doll in pods; he lets them out]
MK (VO): Wait, I remember this... waking up in a ruined base, seeing you there. You told us,
MS: Guys.... so, this is what Eggman did to you. You lost some races, so he locked you away. ...I can't believe this.
MK: You don't have to. Just follow your programming. C'mon, let's find the creator and serve him.
MS: Serve him? After he threw you away?!
TD: Yes. He is our creator. We must serve him.
MS: Open your eyes, you two! He'll just put you under stasis again!
MK: .......................
MS (VO): I remember you, Mecha... you just stood there, thinking, for a bit, while the Doll rambled on about..
TD (VO): About how it's our duty to serve the creator, and we were made for nothing but it. Yeah.
MS (VO): But, after so long, you just spoke up, and said,
MK: I'm with you.
MS: ...what?
MK: You're right. The Doctor won't help us. I've rearranged my priorities. From now on, Hyper Metal Sonic is my boss.
TD: Argh... I've been programmed to follow you two, so..... fine.
MS: ....Hyper Metal Sonic.... something's just not right about that name.
MK: It was thought up by the creator.
MS: Yeah. I'm making my own name, my own destiny, my own EVERYTHING. From now on, I am Ultra Metal Sonic!
MK: Yeah! And I'm 50 Cent!
TD: Uh... maybe you should just stick with "Metal Knuckles."
MS: No! I've got it. "Mecha Knuckles."
MK: Awesome! That sounds cool! Yeah. "Knuckles. MECHA Knuckles."
TD: I'm sticking with "Tails Doll," though.
MS: Fine. Now, c'mon, let's get out of here.
[they leave the base]
MK: So.... whaddya wanna do now?
MS: Now? Now, I wanna kick some ass. I'm gonna show the world how much I've changed!
[Metal steps onto a random rock, and points to the sky]
MS: (shouting) You hear that, world?! I've changed! And I'm gonna kick some ass!
MK: YEAH! ROCK AND ROLL!!!
[Mecha picks up a big rock, and tosses it off-screen]
[THUD!]
[car alarm]
Man: Aw, crap, my freaking CAR!
MK: Whoops.
Man: I paid, like, thirty-thousand for that thing! Ah, where's my shotgun?
MS: Let's go.
MK: Yeah.
[cut back to the cavern; the flashback is over]
Chapter 36: Our Heroes
MS: See, the point I'm tryin' so desperately to make here is that kicking ass is something of utmost importance to me.
TD: Okay.... and?
MS: I was acting all depressed because I felt like it was MY heinous behind that was being kicked. But, Mecha...
MK: I think I get it. I reminded you of you directive, like in Wall-E, right?
MS: Uh.... yeah. Weird comparison, but, yeah. That's about it.
TD: Enough moping around! Why don't we at least solve this map?
MS: The Doll's right. Let's do that. So, where to start?
TD: Judging from our position, I'd say we should look for some crawlspace.
[they do, and break down some walls]
MS: Hmm... there appear to be two pyramid-shaped robots on the other side of this wall.
MK: Let's blow 'em up.
[BOOM!]
MS: Now, what's this little thing?
TD: I just recieved info via telepathy that this is the "Laser Puzzle Piece."
MS: Ah, so it's one of those Puzzle Piece-a-majigs.
MK: Uh... boss?
MS: Yes?
MK: How will we get back?
MS: ....I don't know.
[cut to the lobby of the City Hall; Metal smashes through a wall]
MS: First floor: Doodads, knickknacks, and John Picard paintings. Going up?
[Metal hops up to a second-floor balcony]
[the other two follow]
MS: According to my calculations, there should be a library close to here.
TD: And?
MS: It'll have books.
MK: Your point being?
MS: There could be some info on this freakin' city.
MK: Good point.
[they check the library, and find an interesting book]
MS: Hmm... "Cooking and You." That sounds interesting. Anything else?
MK: Try this one.
MS: Oh, "Glamour." Great. I can learn how to please my man. Gimme another one.
TD: Here's a good one.
MS: Ah, "Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of Baskerville." I've already read this one. Stapleton did it.
MK: Hmm........
TD: Uh.....
MS: What? No more books?
MK: Nope.
MS: Fine. .....gimme "Glamour."
[Metal skims through it]
MK: Ooh, what about this? "L'art de creer un jardin."
MS: "The Art of Creating a Garden?" Give it here.
[Metal skims through]
MS: Yuck. Too much foreign language.
TD: Hey, have YOU got any better ideas?
MS: ....check for "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?"
[they check]
MK: Nothing under that name. But, we've got "Braindroppings."
MS: Good enough.
[Metal skims through]
MS: Heh. That was funny.
MK: ....hey, I found something! "Reports." What could it be?
MS: I dunno, Mecha. Maybe they're... REPORTS of some kind? Maybe? *sigh* Give it here.
[Mecha gives Metal the reports]
MS: Okay, let's see...
Chapter 37: Reports Chapter One: Arrival Center
To: Turrican
From: Consultant
Subject: Re: Admin Passage
Message: Well, I asked the workers, and they said you had to remove some bricks just outside the door.
Apparently, the bricks can easily be put back in, and once you're in, you can monitor the whole building.
Heck, even if it DOESN'T work, you can still be proud that we've finally made the Arrival Station!

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Results of Ventilation Check
Message: The workers were checking the vents the other day. According to their report, they "removed the vent cover,
went in, and I have been awaiting their return for since Thursday, yet to no avail." We're starting to get worried now,
actually. I, myself, looked inside, but could see literally nothing. The vent absorbed all light.
Please reply.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Results of Ventilation Check
Message: We've tried that. We tied a rope around Bill Joe, and sent him in, but... when he entered, the rope's weight disappeared, and we pulled him back. All that came back was the rope. So, we shall go with your other option of advising people not to enter the vent.

To: Turrican
From: Average citizen (name withheld)
Subject: Blue vent?
Message: Hey, you have an awesome arrival center. Actually, I was wondering about that weird, blue vent. I've been checking it out for the past few days, and... what happened to the crates in front of it? I thought there were some, but.. they're gone now. I mean, a few days ago, I was able to see inside (not much, only your name), but now I can't even reach. So... what's up with that vent?

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Health Inspection Results
Message: The inspector has finished, and says the Arrival Center passes. Although, he has expressed a sign of worry, considering the building was built over a magma pit. Plus, the earlier message of ventilation disappearances also worried him.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Health Inspection Results
Message: What do you mean, "Wasn't built over a magma pit?"

To: Turrican
From: South Pennsylvania Agency of Marketing
Subject: VIAGRA VIAGRA VIAGRA
Message: (Deleted)

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Health Inspection Results
Message: But, the inspector found a big pit of molten lava, or magma, beneath the building! Surely, you knew of this?

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Health Inspection Results
Message: I... I refuse to believe that. And, I did not call you, "Shirley." Wherever you got that idea, I do not know.

Chapter 38: Reports Chapter Two: Office Complex
To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Construction complete!
Message: We are happy to report that construction on the business district has officially been completed.
We have taken the liberty of performing the health inspection beforehand. We have detected three problems so far:
1: Below one building is a hazardous water reserve, as well as a secret cavern, to be explored later.
2: Below the main building is ANOTHER secret cavern, to be explored later.
3: Also below the main building is a dark, red, incredibly hot cave. Religious extremists have called it, "Hell."
What should we do? Please reply.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Scouting Complete!
Message: Well, they scouted the secret passage, just as you asked. But, they haven't come back up. We checked down there, and it seems as if they walked into a wall. But... that's impossible. Right?

[Metal skims through the book]
MS: They're pretty much all saying similar things to that. Wait. What's this?

Chapter 38.5: Reports Chapter Six: Daedalus Labs
To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Where are you?
Message: Sir, we've been looking for you. Where are you?

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: I offer welcomes for those who deserve them
Message: I see that you are liking your times in my master's city. Wonderful, is it not? My master does not yet want
you dead, so I shall see to it that you have a fun time. However, I do recommend you steer clear of the labs.
Who am I? Call me your Tour Guide to this mysterious city.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Where are you?
Message: "Daedalus Labs?" I'm sorry, but we didn't make anything under that name. Could you check again?
Do you know your surroundings?

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: Wandering eyes are usually blind
Message: Ah, so you have done a bit of exploring, I see. My master does not like you poking around the labs, though.
Cease your exploration at once. Must I remind you that my master does not want you dead? So, don't die.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Where are you?
Message: The City Hall... well, I think I've figured it out. Some cultist has kidnapped you, and placed you in a building
close to the City Hall. Obviously. We'll send our top squads after you.

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: The only followers are those of the master
Message: Some officers entered these labs. I saw them, and they stated their names. They claimed to be on a search for you.
Did you send for them? If people follow you, you shall see them. However, not in the way you'd expect.
However, my master does not want anyone else here, so no more followers.

To: Turrican
From: Chao Talk Management Crew
Subject: A slight delay
Message: Our squad did not report, so we sent another to check things out. It turns out... the City Hall is no longer
accessable. I'll put it simply... it's basically floating in mid-air. Yet... it's also NOT. I can't describe it.

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: Rats are still significant, no matter how annoying
Message: My master still sees something in you. But, I think you're a pest. You just can't stop moving, can you? So, I
talked with my master about finding some better way to deal with you. Your carriage awaits, "sir."

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: If there's a bushel in your hedgegrow, don't be alarmed, now. It's just a spring clean for the May Queen.
Message: Liking your new park? Here is a place you can explore. A hint: Try going into the caged hole.

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: The piper is here, and you can hear him, can't you?
Message: Inside this lab, you shall work. You shall maintain everything. Think of it as your prison, because it is.
Don't expect visitors, because they won't come. And, if you hear rock music... well... let's just hope you don't.

Chapter 39: Metal Figures it out
[Metal closes the book]
MS: It ends there.
MK: Freaky story.
MS: Somehow, I don't think it's just a story.
TD: Ya think so?
MS: Yeah. Actually, after reading that... I feel sorry for the guys stuck in the labs.
///////////
[cut to Daedalus Labs; everything is silent]
[the camera pans across the labs; not a soul]
[then, the camera enters the room with the door (behind it is the Nomble), and the Tour Guide is there]
[the Tour Guide steps into the door, and the door closes]
///////////
[cut to the Poker Gang in the library]
[they're bored; footsteps are heard behind them]
[they look, and it's the Tour Guide]
MS: Shade Junior?
[the Tour Guide takes off his hood, and yes, it is him]
SJR: Thank the stars I found you three.
MK: What's up?
SJR: This is crazy. The city's operating completely on its own, now. Completely against the Nomble's wishes.
TD: Wait. Didn't you just tell us about ten minutes ago that same thing, but in a different way?
SJR: What? No! I haven't even seen you guys since yesterday!
MS: ....hang on. Shade Junior.
SJR: Yes?
MS: There are two Tour Guides, aren't there?
SJR: (hesitating) Um, no. No. Not really. Just me.
MS: C'mon. According to this "report" book, some Tour Guide has been haunting the city since the Daedalus Labs were first made.
SJR: Just... fairy tales.
MS: And, also, we ran into a "Tour Guide" about ten minutes ago who claimed to be you, but sounded odd.
MK: Yeah, and you told us that one guy was an "impostor!" What about THAT guy? He's a Tour Guide!
SJR: No, he was just an impostor...
[Metal crosses his arms, and looks at him]
SJR: ....FINE! So it turns out, I'm not exactly the REAL Tour Guide. If anything, I'm a newbie Tour Guide.
MS: So, this other guy...
SJR: ..is the REAL Tour Guide.
MS: I see. ...Junior, tell me... how, exactly, did the Nomble allow you to be his minion, again?
SJR: Well, Metal Speedy sent me here, and I was about to die when...
MS: When he saved your butt in exchange for you service. But, why?
SJR: You see, the Nomble said more and more people are entering the city, and just one Tour Guide isn't enough.
MS: Uh-huh. Interesting. So, is there any way you can get us out of this place?
SJR: I suppose I COULD teleport you three back to the Labs, but it's not really that simple.
MK: C'mon, man. Stop hiding your shit from us. What's going on?
SJR: Well, the Nomble says that this happened way back then, and is why the city "went to Hell."
MS: Let me guess. It's the Red Metal. It's gotten to the computers in the labs, and thus messed things up.
SJR: Yes. The real Tour Guide was able to fix it back then by going through the city and re-solving the puzzles.
Poker gang: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
SJR: Yeah. And, I have no idea where that guy is. Or even, WHO.
MS: So... so, we either have to solve the puzzles ourselves, or find this Tour Guide guy, and get HIM to do it.
MK: Hang on. What about why you can't take us back to the labs?
SJR: Well, I COULD do that, but it would be rather pointless. Plus, there's too much Red Metal there.
MS: So, how will solving the puzzles get rid of it?
SJR: I don't know the specifics. I just know it will. The Nomble told me all about this place.
TD: Hey, did you ever find out just WHAT the Nomble is?
SJR: Oh, I've heard tons of rumours. He's either one of the founders gone mad, or he's just a monster.
MS: But, you don't know for sure, do you?
SJR: No.
MS: Okay. Thanks for answering our questions. I suppose we'd better work on solving this map, huh?
SJR: It would be best.
MS: Alright. You look for the other Guide, and come back to us when we've completed this map.
SJR: Okay. See you, then.
[Shade Junior walks around a corner, and teleports away]
TD: ....let's get going, then.
Chapter 40: That was Fast
MS: Let's get rocking. If I remember, there should be a puzzle piece inside this vent.
[they open a vent, and climb in]
[inside is a bottomless pit; on the other side is a puzzle piece]
MS: I remember this place! But, I left before the others got it.
MK: Someone's approaching.
[the Tour Guide walks on the other side of the chasm]
TG: *chuckle* I see that you three have been talking with the new recruit.
MS: So, you're the ORIGINAL Tour Guide.
TG: That is correct. I've been serving the Nomble for many a generation. When a problem rises in the city, I'll fix it.
MS: And when he's hungry, you'll feed him.
TG: Heh. I see your imagination surpasses your common sense.
SJR: And I see your lying is as bad as your fighting skills.
[Shade Junior steps into the room, still in cloak]
SJR: I had the feeling you'd be here, Tour Guide.
TG: New recruit. What is it? Got another boo-boo you want taken care of?
SJR: No. I want to talk with you.
MS: Actually, we ALL do.
TG: Hmmmhmmhmmhmhmhmmmm (that's laughter with a closed mouth)... very well.
Chapter 40.5: Confronting the Tour Guide
TG: So, what is it you wanted to know?
MS: Who are you?
TG: Just call me... your Tour Guide to this mysterious city.
SJR: Bullshit. We're trained to say that. Really, who ARE you?
TG: What about YOU?
SJR: I'm Shade Junior, heir to the Dark Garden throne. And you?
TG: "Shade" Junior? As in... your father is.. Shade?
SJR: Yes. THE Shade, as well.
TG: Hmm... well....... my name... is Rakshawl. Of course, none of you four would know me.
[the camera zooms out, revealing the MILKMAN watching the scene on a blue screen]
SJR: Right. So, Rakshawl, why are YOU serving the Nomble? I'm serving him because he spared my life.
TG: I'm serving him because I was born here. The Nomble raised me as if I was his own. If I hungered, he would find food.
SJR: So you're returning the favor?
TG: Exactly. Now, Shade Junior... where is your father?
SJR: Well... one of my fathers is in OMG2. However, the one YOU want is currently in the Office of Death.
TG: Hmph. I see.
MS: One more question, Rakshawl. How do we get out of here? Once the puzzles are solved, I mean.
TG: Out? You wish to LEAVE my hometown? But, why? Heh heh... this is the greatest city on Chao World!
MS: Yeah, well... we really have to go back. We're needed in Stardust Speedway on Thursday.
TG: I assure you, robot... the exit you seek is far, far, FAR beyond our location.
SJR: Also, will you help us solve the puzzles?
TG: If the Nomble wishes it, I shall.
SJR: Of course he wishes it! After all, would you really allow your hometown to be destroyed like this?
TG: ...I shall consider it. For now, I have some... SHADY matters to which to attend.
[Rakshawl disappears]
SJR: ...guys, I really have to go.
MS: Go right ahead. Save your father.
SJR: Thanks.
[Shade Junior disappears]
MS: So, didja hear that, boys? Rakshawl is back.
MK: Funny. I don't remember him.
MS: You don't? Heh. It's funny, really, how he does not remember ME.
TD: Enough talk. Let's solve these puzzles.
MS: This one's way too easy.
[Metal uses his extend-o-arms (WTF) to grab the puzzle piece]
MS: See? I'm awesome.
//////////////////
Chapter 41: A Shaded Past
[cut to the Office of Death; Shade, Red, and She-Shade are at the Wall of Bricks]
Shade: Crap. Anybody remember the brick we're supposed to hit?
Red: Drawing a blank.
SShade: No clue.
TG: It's on the third row from the top.
Shade: Thanks, Tour Guide.
[Shade is about to hit the brick when he stops]
Shade: Wait. Junior, is that you?
TG: Of course it is, dad.
[Shade Junior runs in]
SJR: Dad, stop! That's not me!
Shade: Wha? TWO Tour Guides?
SJR: Dad, I'm your son. This guy here claims his name is--
TG: Silence. If he wants to know my name, I shall tell him, myself.
Shade: Fine. What's your name? Your voice sounds oddly... GHASTLY... and familiar.
TG: I am glad it does. My name, Shade.... is Rakshawl.
Shade: It.... IS? Where have I heard that name before?
TG: You might remember it from your years in the army.
Shade: Rakshawl............ of course. I remember now. It is because of you that I quit the army.
TG: If that is all I did, then I have failed my task.
Shade: I can never forgive you for what you've done to me, Rakshawl. What you've done to my army.
TG: Believe me, Shade, I did not come to you for forgiveness. I have come to you... to finish you off.
Shade: So be it.
TG: Let me start by hitting this brick.
SJR: NO! Don't!
[Rakshawl hits the brick; the Nomble appears and moves towards them]
[the other chao move to the side as Shade and Rakshawl fight, and as the Nomble approaches]
Chapter 41.5: Shade Versus Rakshawl
[Shade kicks Rakshawl]
[Rakshawl dodges, and punches Shade]
[Shade punches back]
[Rakshawl kicks Shade enough that he flies backwards, and lands in a pool of water]
[Rakshawl moves towards him as the Nomble passes]
[Shade gets back up and charges at him]
[Rakshawl moves to the side; Shade changes direction, and hits him]
[while running backwards, Rakshawl turns a corner; Shade gives chase]
[the other chao follow; the Nomble passes once more]
[they reach a ledge; Rakshawl hops up some platforms]
[Shade stands and grins as Rakshawl stands and waits]
[Rakshawl looks, questionably, before looking up, and seeing Red Metal falling down onto him]
[Rakshawl screams as he disintegrates when the Red Metal touches him]
Chapter 41.8: After the Ordeal
[Shade walks back to the others]
Shade: Rakshawl is dead. The Red Metal tore him to pieces.
SJR: *shudder* I always hate seeing Red Metal do that to people.
Red: So, who WAS that guy?
Shade: Guys, did I ever tell you about my time in the Army, many years ago?
SShade: Well, you've mentioned it, but you never went into much detail.
Shade: *sigh* I suppose it's time I told you about it.
SJR: Ooh, this ought to be interesting.
Shade: Oh, it is. Pull up a chair, or something.
SShade: Maybe we should return to the main building, where we can actually pull up chairs.
Shade: If you wish.
[somehow, they return to the actual office, and sit down]
Shade: Okay, here we go.
Chapter 42: Dark Chao Role-Playing Game
Shade: A long, long, LONG time ago, after I had been a Dark chao for a few days, I decided to start an army.
Dark was in there, too. At the time, we were pretty much the only two chao in there, until the Freelancers came in.

Ah, yes, the Freelance chao. I was ready to invade the Hero Garden for my first time when Dark-Hawk came in.
Together, we rocked the gardens, and Dark sang some Genesis n' stuff. Weird things happened, and then Mephiles appeared.
I know, I know, "But Mephiles didn't come in until Episode--" yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe we just forgot him.

Then, after (half of) Dark's final(?) Genesis song, everyone else came pouring in by the dozens. I guess the Dark Army got
famous, or something. There was Phantom, Shadow Bonic, Quartz, Chaosky, Jessica (OMG WEAR IZ SHE NAO), Arrow (haven't
seen him in a while, either), Ade (nor him), Solar (nor him), Flame, and BILLIONS others. If I forgot you, sorry.
Oh, and Nights.

I sent them on many a mission. In the end, I remember the Government appearing a lot, as well as Metal Sonic, and....
wait. There was this company... this TV network... who nearly killed us. Its name was JOE Enterprises. Shocking, huh?

Then, I sensed that the end was near. Evil beings were gathering in my darkest of nightmares, and after a while,
I sent my squad on one last mission. One from which they did not return. I don't know the specifics of what happened, but
I DO remember a man named "Rakshawl."

Rakshawl... he summoned portal storms, and seperated my squad. I presume they were all sent away to the Chao World.
I then confronted him, and fought him. I gave him a scar, and he was presumably dead. My soldiers returned, but
Rakshawl returned once more and said "Goodbye" to them all, right before I killed him.
I suppose he was still alive.
Red: Wait a minute. I thought you simply sent them somewhere, and they were lost?
Shade: Oh, no. They came back. They came back, and Rakshawl sent them away. I couldn't do anything; it was truly sad.
Red: What happened next?
Shade: Next? Next, I sulked for a few days. After a while, I remembered I still had Dark, and Shadow, who had just joined
my Dark Army. They encouraged me to get back into my war with Chao.
Chapter 42.5: Dark Chao Adventures
(Note: Superstitio Beneficium is what really happened. This explains the strange "negotiations" Shade and Chao had.)
Shade: Chao invited me to a talk with him. It didn't last long; once he mentioned the portal storms, I questioned him.
He claimed it was best I did not know what they were, so I then fought him. Afterwards, Cham died of.. old age.
Due to Cham's death, we did our best not to fight, for a while. Then, Shade Junior was born, Red joined, and the female
Shade joined later.

Not really too much happened then, save for Mephiles coming back, and Dark and I going to the Future for our first time.
THEN, the Beta Avengers first made themselves known. Oh, I hate those guys. They always seem to ruin everything.
[the camera zooms out, going back to the TV room with the MILKMAN]
[you can't really see him, but you know he's getting sad]
[back to Shade]
Shade: Anyway, then, Mephiles sent us away to Chao World, and we came here for the first time, then we got back, and the
Betas made their plan known, and then we woke up here.
Chapter 42.7: The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
Red: Well, thanks for sharing most of that with us.
SShade: Yeah. It was extremely boring, though.
Shade: Hey, I had to LIVE through it.
SJR: Okay, c'mon, Dad. We've got to solve this map again.
Shade: Why?
SJR: Just trust me. We do.
Shade: Okay.
[they zip through the map really quickly]
Shade: Is that it?
SJR: No. Now, we need the Super DUPER Secret Triggers.
Shade: The WHAT NOW?
SJR: The "Super DUPER Secret Triggers." They're Super DUPER Secret.
Shade: *sigh* Where are they?
SJR: Didn't I just tell you? They're super DUPER secret!
Chapter 43: Triggering the Shadows of the City
Shade: Well, can't you at least help us look for them?
SJR: Sure, fine.
[they go through the map, and hit a bunch of random things]
Shade: Hmm... so, where now?
SJR: I seem to remember there being something interesting written down by Turrican.
Red: Hey, uh... who, exactly, is Turrican?
SJR: He's basically... the creator of these maps. The founder of the city. That's all I know, though.
Shade: C'mon! Let's look for this written down thing!
[they search the entire building, and find one piece of paper]
SJR: Ah, here it is. "Skylight needs fixing."
SShade: Ha! Well, that can't be it!
Red: For some reason, I betcha it IS. See that? Above us? It's a skylight. Just outside Turrican's room, and all!
SJR: Now, how do we get up there?
[they start standing on each other]
Shade: Hang on.... hang on..... hang on..... *smash* got it!
[Shade hops up through the skylight]
[he pulls the others up somehow]
[after a little explosion, they find themselves somewhere really strange, yet familiar]
[and they solve a few puzzles and find themselves back in the building]
Red: Okay, that was very vague.
[well, the place they went is rather indescribable]
Red: Whatever.
[suddenly, Shade Junior has a vision of a big, black shadow]
SJR: !!! ....guys, I recommend you take cover for now.
Shade: Why?
SJR: I shall be right back!
Red: But--
SJR: RIGHT BACK!
[Shade Junior leaves really quickly]
///////////
[Shade Junior goes into the Daedalus Labs just for a second]
[the camera shows only his own face, nothing else]
[he stares with fear]
?: Hey, it's the punk who-- oh, it's YOU.
[Shade Junior turns around]
?: Relax. I only want to talk.
///////////
[Shade Junior hurries, and finds the Poker Gang in the Speed Run Tunnel, avoiding the giant Red Metal thing]
SJR: *pant* Oh, good... I caught you three...
MS: What's going on? We're just about to get our final Puzzle Piece!
SJR: I... *pant* oh.... I HIGHLY recommend AGAINST doing that.
MK: Hey, what's the big idea? I thought you were on OUR side!
SJR: I am... but, if you grab that last piece, you will just be making things MUCH worse!
TD: What do you mean, "MUCH worse?"
SJR: The others will be in danger.
MS: Hmm... *crosses arms* tell us what's REALLY happening.
SJR: But... but..... *sigh*.... okay. You deserve to know the truth. The puzzle pieces guard the labs, right?
TD: Right.
SJR: Well, they also will free anything INSIDE the labs.
MS: So, something's inside the labs.
SJR: Yes. You see, back then, during the time when Chao Talk was first becoming Hellish, these strange creatures--
MS: Why haven't you mentioned these before?
SJR: I only just remembered them. Anyway, they--
MS: Bullshit!
SJR: Okay, so I was protecting you from the information! Anyway, these creatures were all over the place.
MS: Let me guess. They were sealed in the machines in the Labs, but when the machines malfunctioned, they've been set free.
SJR: Yes. And, if you get that last piece, they will have access to the rest of the city!
All: FUCK!
MK: Funny how you didn't mention THAT before!
SJR: I told you; I didn't think you'd need to know that! And, I DID forget it for a while. I only just remembered it.
MS: So, let's just not open the-- oh, yeah.
SJR: Yeah. We need to solve ALL the puzzles.
MS: Argh.... what shall we do?
MK: C'mon, boss... you can think of something.
MS: Oh, I shall....... AHA! Got it!
Chapter 44: The Poker Gang, STARS of the Show!
MS: We'll simply solve all the OTHER puzzles first, and THEN set them free!
SJR: That's a pretty good idea. So, you'll just wait here for a bit, then?
TD: Oh-ho, no, sir! We're coming with YOU!
SJR: Say what?
MK: We're tired of sitting on our asses. We wanna be the stars!
MS: What they're trying to say is, we'll help solve the other maps, if you don't mind.
SJR: Well...... all right. I'll take you three with me. First, let's make a stop at the Deluxe Office.
[Shade Junior leads the three around a corner]
/////////////
[cut to the Deluxe Office-- the Darks are hiding in a bomb shelter]
SJR: Dad, what are you-- oh, yeah. You're taking cover.
Shade: Still hoping you'll explain what's going on. ...and why the Poker Gang's with you.
MS: And how you teleported us.
SJR: Well, simply put, you guys just keep in cover, and if you see anything strange, shoot it.
Red: Heh heh heh..... I like this plan.
SJR: Right. As for the teleportation... the Nomble told me how to do it. Don't ask. C'mon, next stop!
/////////////
[cut to the Arrival Center]
[Chao, Hero, and Tail are there]
[Shade Junior and the Poker Gang enter, and find Tail in the fetal position]
SJR: Um... hello, Tail--
Tail: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
MS: Holy shi-- a little WARNING next time?
Tail: The Nomble... the Nomble..... AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
SJR: Oh, is that all? He had a little run-in with the Nomble, that's all.
Tail: "That's all?" I... I crawled... into a vent.... and was surrounded! He was EVERYWHERE! I don't know.. how I got back...
SJR: Ah, don't you worry about that. Just don't go into that vent again. Where are the others?
Tail: They... went in that vent, up there... and haven't come back.
SJR: Really? I'm surprised they found all the Secret Triggers. Well, thanks, Tail. Good luck with your..... fetal position.
Tail: AAAAHHH!!!
[they get into the vent, and fall into a prison-- not into a cell, but just into a prison]
MS: Whoa. Hey, Junior, you're the Tour Guide. Give us a tour.
SJR: Um... okay. This is the prison of Chao Talk. However, at the city's good years, it was never used.
MS: Of course, when the monsters invaded, the citizens were captured by the freaky things?
SJR: Yeah. C'mon, let's keep moving. Over here. Yeah. Look up, and jump. Yep. Good. Walk into the light. Avoid the disco.
[Shade Junior leads them through a dark maze, and they find Hero]
Hero: Hey, guys. Uh... I'm lost. Could you help me get out of here?
SJR: Of course. C'mon, just through here.
[Hero exits the maze, but is locked in a cage; the others keep going]
SJR: Don't worry. Just commit suicide somehow. You'll reawaken in the Arrival Center.
[Hero kills himself]
SJR: C'mon, you three. Keep going. Follow my lead. Good. Up here.
[they reach the Chamber of 32 Doors]
TD: Pfft. More like eight, or even FIVE.
SJR: Yeah, uh...... hmmm... looks like Chao somehow found his way through the correct door. C'mon, through here.
MK: What about all those other doors?
SJR: Yeahhh..... you'll die a horrible death.
MK: ....ouch.
[they are lead through a door, and through a jumping puzzle, until they reach a large clocktower]
MS: Damn.
[the camera pans, showing them looking down on the whole city from the clocktower]
[the camera zooms out, showing the MILKMAN watching them]
MM: Hmm... JOE.
JOE: Yes, sir?
MM: Come take a look at this screen for a second.
Chapter 45: Something Wrong
[JOE takes a look at the MILKMAN's screen]
JOE: What is it?
MM: Take a look. See at what they're looking?
JOE: ......they're looking at the city, so what?
[the MILKMAN looks at JOE for a second; JOE thinks]
JOE: .....OH! Ohhh! Oh, man! I can't believe I forgot! Sorry! I mean, what the smack is going on here?
MM: Beats me. But, I want to find out. Metal Speedy, get my coat.
MSp: Of course, sir.
JOE: MILKMAN, what do you plan on doing?
MM: I don't know. But, I certainly don't plan on just watching them. Shade's stuck in that city, and--*stops abruptly*...
MSp: Sir, what does it matter if Shade's stuck in there?
MM: ......nothing. It does not matter. I just want those chao alive. Just get my coat, Metal Speedy.
MSp: I'll go get it, sir.
[back to the screen]
SJR: This.... this can't be.
MS: No.... but, it IS.
MK: What? What can't be?
MS: The city....
SJR: The city's a city again.
MK: Wait, what?
SJR: Normally, this part would be a mere skybox. But, now.... it's... it's impossible! Unless......
[Shade Junior teleports them to the Daedalus Labs]
//////////////
MS: Hang on, Junior. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
SJR: As in?
MS: Someone's solved all the puzzles somehow?
SJR: Yes. But, I think I know WHO.
MS: The Nomble?
SJR: No.
MS: Then, WHO?
[as they walk through the corridors of the labs, Shade Junior speaks]
SJR: After viewing this city for a while, and seeing its nature... it would have to be someone who's been here a LONG time.
MS: Okay. Not too many people like that, though.
SJR: Then, my Dad's story made me realize-- there IS someone whose nature allows them to survive in here.
MS: And that person IS?
[they reach a computer, but instead of a monitor, there's a big hole in the wall leading somewhere]
SJR: ...that person is in the system right now. We need to get in there.
MS: Not until you tell us who the person is.
SJR: I'm sorry, but I take after my father in the sense that I'll let the others find out.
MK: Well, we can't help you with your problem!
SJR: *climbs into hole in wall* C'mon, guys. I'm really gonna need your help.
[rumble rumble rumble]
[explosion]
SJR: Oh, no.... just as I feared. Guys, in a few seconds, the puzzles are going to reset! Come on!
All: WHAT?!
SJR: Uh... listen to me. Solve the puzzles of this map, quickly. I'll stop this guy from doing more damage.
MS: WHO?! Stop WHO?!
SJR: Ohh........ okay, he's--
[flash]
[the Poker Gang is sent back into the building they first spawned in]
MS: Are we.... are we back in the City Hall?
TD: No, boss. We're... we're in the Daedalus Labs. See, the place is all fucked up.
MS: Oh, that's good. We can still solve the puzzles of this place, then. C'mon, let's go.
MK: Hold on. Whose name was he gonna say?
MS: I betcha he was gonna say, "Rakshawl." I think I know what he means, too.
MK: What DID he mean?
MS: Rakshawl, apparently, has the ability to respawn, no matter what. After all, the Nomble raised him.
TD: How do we kill a guy who can respawn?
MS: .....I'll think of a way. There's never a person I can't kill.
Chapter 46: Rakshawl?
[cut to inside the computer thing, Shade Junior climbs down a ladder in a room filled with wires]
SJR: *sigh* Sorry, Metal...
[he falls down a hole, and lands on a purple floor, in a strange place]
TG: Welcome to Computerland, Shade Junior.
SJR: There you are. I'd ask what you were doing if I didn't already know.
TG: *chuckle*  Glad to see you thinking.
SJR: The Nomble says we shouldn't tamper with this stuff too much.
TG: Yeah? Well, he ALSO says strangers musn't know too much of this city.
SJR: What's THAT supposed to mean?
TG: He and I have been talking. He's decided you telling those people about this place is not allowed.
SJR: No.
TG: Yes. He wants you out. I said I'd get you out, but I didn't tell him what I meant.
SJR: You don't have to do this. I'll... I'll leave. I'll take the others with me.
TG: Oh, we don't want them to spread the word, do we?
SJR: They won't! I swear!
TG: Oh, they will. They will. And that's what I told the Nomble, as well. HE believed me.
SJR: ....you're....... you're USING him. But, for what?
TG: *nervous laugh* You and your imagination. What ever would we do with you? ...how about send you to OMG2?
SJR: Stop. Get away.
TG: Come hither, Shade Junior.
[Shade Junior runs away, and into a portal]
[camera zoom-out to the MILKMAN]
MM: This is crazy.
JOE: What, the city, the predicament, or Rakshawl?
MM: JOE.... you know what's REALLY crazy? He never said he was Rakshawl. Nowhere in there did he say that.
JOE: No, he said it right--...........holy crap, man, that is WEIRD. I had the strangest feeling he DID, though!
MM: Yeah, me, too.
JOE: He's good.
MM: I agree. He is good.
MSp: MILKMAN, sir? I have your coat.
[back to the screen]
[cut to the Poker Gang, they just got down into the Research Center and then ran into Shade Junior]
MS: Whoa! You're pretty good at that.
SJR: *pant* Can't talk now.... we've got to solve these puzzles.... and FAST.
MK: Hey, hotty mctottie. What's the rush?
SJR: It's him. He's threatening to kill me. He's... he's using the Nomble for his own needs.
MS: But, who IS he? Is he Rakshawl?
?: Somebody call my name?
[they scream as a cloaked man walks around the corner]
[the cloaked man takes off his hood, and reveals a freaky, blue alien elite from Halo]
Rakshawl: Hoo! Cool the scream theater. I just thought I heard someone say my name.
MS: I..... who are you? Are you Rakshawl?
Rks: Yeah.
MK: No way, man. You're one of those Halo thigs.
Rks: Exactly. Don't ask me how, but I'm one of them.
SJR: Rakshawl, I could not be happier to see you. He's back.
Rks: .....*facepalm* Great.
MS: Will somebody PLEASE inform me on the goings-on of this godforsaken city?!
SJR: Well, earlier, I had a chat with him, and we joined forces, because we both knew there was ANOTHER Tour Guide here.
MS: So, this guy can respawn, right?
Rks: Right.
MS: Okay. Just checking. So, who IS the other Tour Guide?
SJR: The other Tour Guide... his name is Zero. Of course, none of you have heard of him?
MS: No, I've heard the name. The leader of those terrible scumbags, the Ex Nowts?
Rks: That's not really how you spell it, but...
MS: No, it's how you spell his gang. The actual species... no, it's not how you spell it.
MK: Okay, please, boss, now will YOU stop being vague?
MS: Fine.
Chapter 47: Back from the Dead, it's....
MS: Zero is the leader of the Ex Nowts. They're a ragtag team of X-Nauts who have been doing all kinds of crime.
MK: Like?
MS: Like robbing banks, selling bootleg Metallica CDs, and leaking the stories to future episodes of Lost.
TD: The worst crime of all.
SJR: They visited the gardens once, posing as a team of Home Improvement people. My dads, and Dark-Hawk, stopped them.
Rks: It's funny. I thought they were dead after that time.
SJR: I guess Zero found some way to survive.
[camera zoom-out to JOE]
JOE: Zero? ...of course. I remember the Ex Nowts.
MSp: You do?
JOE: Yeah. They were WAY back, when it was just Shade, Dark, and Dark-Hawk. WAY, WAY, back.
MSp: I see.
[back to the screen]
MK: So, what's the score? We gonna rough him up, or what?
SJR: No. That would anger the Nomble. It is quite clear that Zero is a full-fledged Tour Guide.
Rks: I say, we get him in a trap. Get him to admit he's using the Nomble for his own plan.
MS: Good idea. But, how will we pull this off?
SJR: We're gonna need backup. And a LOT of it. And I know just where to get some.
/////////////
[Shade Junior takes them to the Office of Death]
SJR: First of all, let's get my Dad. He should still be in this bomb shelter.
TD: Okay, sweet, let's get some backup!
[the Tails Doll runs head-first into the room, and is instantly shot, followed by screams]
MK: .......y--
TD: SHUT UP.
SJR: Dad, it's just us. And Rakshawl.
Shade: AAAAHHHH!!!
SJR: Calm down! He's on our side!
Shade: Oh.. sorry, son. It's just... there were THOUSANDS of 'em. It was like Left 4 Dead, or something!
SJR: ....of course, I forgot. The puzzles were solved, which means the shadows were unleashed here.
Shade: I'm afraid... Red didn't make it through.
Red: What are you talking about? I'm right here.
Shade: I can still hear him.... sobbing.
Red: Oh, SOMEONE'LL be sobbing if you don't SHUT UP.
SShade: It was chaos, though. Some of them started pulling me out of this window.
[a shadowy figure opens the window, and pulls Red out]
SShade: Just like that!
Red: HELP! THEY'RE BACK!
Shade: Oh, HELL, no! *reloads* C'mon, we need some backup for this.
SJR: Oh, boy. C'mon, guys. Grab a shotgun.
MS: Hells yes!
[the Poker Gang cheers, and they each grab shotguns]
MK: So, how much ammo are in these things?
SJR: Not anywhere near enough to kill them all.
MS+MK: *chuckle* Sweet.
Shade: I'm going out there, and saving Red. You guys stay here.
MS: No way. I'm going out there, just to taste some violence.
Shade: Heh. I was expecting you to come along, Metal. Let's go.
[they charge out of the bomb shelter, shooting at shadowy figures]
MS: Damn, how are these guys inside the building?
Shade: The front door's open.
MS: Oh. That'd explain how we get outside, which defeats the purpose of my awesome escape plan.
Shade: Enough talk! *BANG* Time to roll.
[they run out of the building, but stop, and stare]
[the city's streets are FILLED with them]
MS: You're right. It's just like Left 4 Dead.
Chapter 48: Left 3 Shade-- "Mercy.exe, File Not Found"
Shade: Metal, three o' clock!
[Metal shoots a zombie to his right]
MS: Heh. I could have gotten that one in my sleep. Now, where's our objective?
[Red screams in the distance]
Shade: Over there! Let's go.
[they move through the crowd, blasting away at the shadows, and watching each other's backs]
[they make it to the other side of a building]
Shade: The scream came from over here.
MS: Little red dude? Where are you?
Red: HELP! OVER HERE!
[they turn and notice Red, surrounded by shadows]
Shade: Red!
[Shade dashes forward to save Red, while Metal shoots from a distance]
MS: ....hm? .....Shade, get back here!
Shade: It's okay, I almost got him!
MS: LOOK OUT!
[Metal shoots at the air above Shade]
Shade: Huh? Yikes!
[Shade dives back as a shadow hits the ground, only to reveal that it's actually a cloaked figure]
Shade: Zero?
?: No, Shade. I am not Zero.
MS: Stay back. I've got a shotgun!
?: I know. I have been monitoring your progress until recently.
Shade: Hey, I've got a gun, too. Don't think I won't shoot.
?: Don't shoot. Here, let me clear this area...
[the cloaked figure uses some mystical power, and clears the area of enemies]
?: We have little time to talk. They will respawn, and in greater numbers.
Shade: All right. I'm listening.
?: Zero is still in the Computerland, in the Daedalus Labs. In order to get in, you will have to find the secret triggers.
MS: Great. Secrets in Daedalus Labs.
?: Once he is defeated, you must resume your search for the jetpacks. No time for rest.
Shade: Great. Wonderful. And then, we save Dark, and get to OMG2?
?: Correct. To leave the city, you will have to find your way off OMG2, and into the hedge maze of which you know.
MS: Ah, yes, the hedge maze. After that should be the outskirts, and a random teleporter somewhere, yes?
?: Well.... returning to home might take a bit of thought on my part. I shall get you home. Don't worry. Just focus.
Shade: Of course. Uh... thanks, uh...
?: Just call me... your Tour Guide to leaving the city.
[the Leaving Guide.... leaves]
Shade: ...hey, where's Red?
[Red calls out, and reveals that he's back in the building]
MS: We'd better hurry, before--
[the shadows respawn]
MS: Oh, boy.
Shade: Red! Close the doors! We'll go around the back, and you'll let us in through there, okay?
Red: OKAY!
[Red closes the door]
Shade: Ready for one last run?
MS: Let's go.
[they charge through an even thicker crowd of shadows, just managing to reach the other end of the street]
Red: Hurry! I'm here at the gate, like you asked!
Shade: Open it!
[Red opens it, they dash in, Red closes it]
Shade: *pant* We made it...
MS: But, we've still got a mission to accomplish. Where's your son?
Red: Shade Junior is still in the bomb shelter.
[they check; he isn't]
Chapter 49: A Plan
Shade: No way... this has got to just be another one of his pranks.
SShade: What pranks?
Shade: Shut up!
[they search the building for him, but don't find him]
Shade: JUNIOR?! Where could he BE?
TD: *looks out window* .....um... Shade?
Shade: What is it?
[Shade looks out the window, and sees Shade Junior and Rakshawl fighting shadows]
[cut to Shade and Metal out there, again, retrieving the two]
[they go back to the building]
Shade: Son, what's going on?
SJR: Well, if we want to get back to the Labs, it might help if first we found the Ultimate Secret.
All: "The Ultimate Secret?"
SJR: Yeah. It's one of the most secret secrets ever in the whole city. Few know OF it, even fewer know where it is.
MS: How do you unlock it?
SJR: First, you must kill all the shadows. Then, you must find the newly-opened passage. It's not easy to find, though.
Shade: Wait. Is this the same passageway Dark fell into earlier? I mean, WAY back? And then he found you?
SJR: And I told him of Daedalus Labs, yes, that's the one.
Shade: Why do we need to find THAT?
SJR: ...I actually don't know.
Shade: *groan* Why don't you just take us to the Labs so we can finish Zero off?
Red: After getting the others, of course.
SJR: Fine, let's just do THAT.
///////////
Chapter 49.5: The Secret Triggers in the Labs
[cut to the Daedalus Labs; all the chao, the Poker Gang, and Rakshawl are there]
[by this point, they've told the others what's going on, of course]
DH: Zero? O NOEZ I think I remember him!
Shade: You probably do, Dark-Hawk. Hey, Junior... any idea where the triggers are?
SJR: No clue.
Shade: Argh... let's do a mosh.
Tail: Um... what?
MK: Just smash shit.
[they charge through the labs, and find five or so secret triggers]
SJR: Hmmm... there's one more. Somewhere. No idea where.
[after a few more thorough searches, still no trigger]
Chao: Oh, this is just GREAT. We're stuck in the labs with five out of presumably six triggers! Thank you, Shade.
Shade: Me? What did I do?
Chao: You existed. That was enough.
Shade: Grrr... I can't deal with this. I'm outta here! *stomps off*
MS: Yo, where ya going?
Shade: To the top floor. I need some time to think.
MS: But, didn't you hear that weird guy? He said we have no time for rest!
Shade: Well, we'll have to MAKE time.
[Shade stomps up the stairs]
Hero: Nice going, Chao. You've pretty much prevented us from leaving.
MK: Hey, there's no time for fighting! For now, we've got to look for that last trigger.
TD: Mecha's right. If we don't hurry, there's no telling WHAT Zero will do.
MS: How about this? We'll let you chao rest. Mecha, you check that portal thing, there. I'll check this one.
TD: And I check this other one?
MS: Yeah.
[they enter the portals]
SJR: *sigh* I'll go talk with my Dad.
[Shade Junior goes up the stairs]
Chapter 50: Confronting Zero
[cut to Metal's portal; he goes to a strange, OMG-esque place]
MS: Isn't this where Dark went off to? Dark? DARK?
[Metal looks around, and spots a Tour Guide on a far-away floating island]
MS: ....
[the Tour Guide retreats up a structure, and then disappears]
MS: Oh, no, you don't!
[Metal uses his flying ability to fly over, and examines the structure]
MS: Hmm... wait.
[Metal notices a ledge in the distance, and flies to it]
[he finds a button]
MS: A-ha! This should be it. *beep*
[cut to Shade, sitting, sighing]
SJR: Father? Are you okay?
Shade: Yeah... I just needed some time to think. And... I've decided.
SJR: Yeah?
Shade: There really IS no time for rest. Just look at that city... being torn apart by Red Metal. We must keep going.
SJR: Exactly. Just relax, Dad. I'm sure soon, you'll be back in the Dark Garden, relaxing.
Shade: I hope so.
[Rakshawl runs in]
Rks: Metal did it! He found the last secret trigger! Computerland is open!
SJR: That's great! Let's go, Dad!
Shade: Sure. I feel like talking to that Ex Nowt punk, anyway.
[the group gets together in front of a computer thing, and they climb in]
SJR: Hurry. Drop down here. Let's go.
Shade: Let me go first.
[he goes down a trap door, and lands on a purple floor, in a strange place]
[a Tour Guide is there]
Shade: Zero.
[the Tour Guide takes off his cloak, revealing an X-Naut (from Paper Mario)]
Zero: Muh huh huh... amazing how you got here.
Shade: Even more amazing how you're still alive after the moon blew up.
Zero: I was saved by some astronauts who happened to be flying by. However, my teammates were already dead.
Shade: I see. How did you get here?
Zero: They happened to be... CHAO astronauts, looking for some fabled "garden." I had no interest in that. So, I killed them.
Shade: You monster! You have no honor!
Zero: Do not talk to me of honor, Shade. You're lucky you're tougher than your father. He was easy to scam.
Shade: My father.... where is he?
Zero: He went to the Earth a year or two ago. I managed to sell him Metallica tickets for 50 bucks higher than market price.
Shade: Anyway, why are you HERE? In this city?
Zero: I decided to look for someone else to scam. I heard legends of some prosperous city.
Shade: You thought they'd give you even MORE money, but you found the city to be deserted, and wound up in our predicament.
Zero: That about sums it up. I made a deal with the Nomble in exchange for Rush CDs.
Shade: ...could I score some of those?
Zero: For 10 bucks a pop, you can.
Shade: Sweet. Gimme "Rush," "Hemispheres," and "Moving Pictures." *gives thirty smackers*
Zero: *chuckle* Pleasure doing business with you. *gives him albums*
Shade: Okay, enough small talk. I know you've been using the Nomble.
Zero: Oh, really? You seriously think I've been using the Nomble? And how, exactly?
Shade: You're scamming him, and when you're done, you're gonna run this city into the ground, and skidaddle.
Zero: Pfft. And HOW would I run the city into the ground?
Shade: You've already released the shadows.
Zero: Oh. ....farewell, Shade.
[Zero shoves Shade off the purple floor; he falls]
Shade: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
[Shade is saved by Metal Sonic]
Shade: Metal... you saved me!
MS: Hey, nobody likes being here. If you die, we'll NEVER get out.
Chapter 50.5: A Battle around the City
[the others get there]
Shade: Look, he's getting away!
SJR: You go after him. We'll try to fix things in this city.
Shade: C'mon, Metal.
MS: Ready to roll.
[they run through a portal, and see him running out of the labs; they give chase]
[after a while, the city becomes normal again, and they are able to run to the Arrival Center]
[Zero hops into the vent, and stops at a dead-end; Shade and Metal arrive]
MS: Give it up, Zero. You're gonna have to fight us.
Zero: Heh. Not a chance in Hell, my friends. I'd rather die listening to Ride the Lightning than fight you.
Shade: Hey, I happen to like that song.
MS: Me, too. Let's play it.
[Ride the Lightning, by Metallica, plays during the following scene]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1pO77cFQ5Q
[Zero whacks the wall; the floor slowly retracts; he jumps down; Shade and Metal follow]
[they run through the prison, up into the light, through the disco room, and through the weird maze]
[they hop over platforms, up to the chamber of doors, and through the jumping puzzle]
[out on the clocktower, Zero stops]
[Shade throws a punch; Zero shoves him, and he nearly falls off the tower until Metal saves him]
[Zero's run off again, into a doorway; they follow through interdimensional places and portals]
[eventually, they reach the Admin Room, where Zero dashes as fast as he can out of the building; they follow]
[he runs to the Office of Death, and down some stairs; they follow down the maze of moving walls]
[just narrowly escaping, they spot him running off, and follow through more chambers of doors, up a vent, and out]
[he then runs into a random building, down some pipes, across some jumping puzzles, and up a cliff]
[they catch up to him in a big arena where he stops to catch his breath]
[Metal grabs him, and starts kicking him; he wriggles free, and jumps down a hole]
[they dodge some turrets, and deadly scientists, and more jumping puzzles]
[they go through more mazes, including one filled with Nombles; they go through one last maze, and end on a rooftop]
[Zero turns to face them, and charges at them]
[Shade is knocked off the rooftop to the streets below, where the Nomble is roaming free]
[Metal hops down, grabs Shade, and dives out of the way as the Nomble passes]
[once the Nomble's passed, Zero's run off again]
[going through the City Hall is like a maze of doors; Zero appears to be in random places, peeking out of random doors]
[after a while, he runs off again, and to the Entertainment Center]
[Shade and Metal chase him down a maze of filing cabinets, multiple living rooms, and turret rooms]
[they follow him through strangely colored rooms, chess tables, mine shafts, and such]
[somehow, they get back to the main building, and he runs into a dark doorway; they follow]
[as they enter, it is revealed he did not really enter that door, but rather stopped, and waited for them to enter]
[the song reaches its bridge as Metal and Shade land in a giant cage]
Shade: Uh-oh.
MS: This does not look good.
Zero: Master, I have caught them, as you asked. Two tasty morsels for you.
Shade: Not good.
MS: Stop, Zero! If you press that button...
Zero: *beep* Oops! *sinister laughter*
Shade+MS: FUCK!!!
[the guitar solo starts playing as they look up, and see the Nomble slowly approaching them from above]
Shade+MS: NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Zero: *sinister laughter*--OOF!!!
[the Nomble stops to watch, so do Metal and Shade; Shade Junior and Rakshawl have attacked Zero]
[Zero starts fighting them, as well]
[at this point, the guitar solo becomes very intense]
[just picture a really cool fight scene throughout the whole solo]
[as the song returns to the bridge, Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll arrive, and try to save Shade and Metal]
MK: Crap. Two buttons. Which one does what?
TD: One of them kills them, the other sets them free.
MK: Let's press this one! *beep*
[the bottom of the cage opens up; Shade and Metal fall down a seemingly bottomless pit]
MK+TD: Uh-oh.
[the fighting stops]
Zero: Muh huh huh huh... they've gone to OMG2 now. There's no saving them.
Rks: No, Zero. There's no saving YOU now.
Zero: Wha?
SJR: We told the Nomble about your plan to run the city into the ground, then leave.
Zero: ......huh?
[they toss Zero into the cage, and press the other button; the song ends]
Zero: ....*looks up*..........fuck you guys. If I die, I'll just respawn!
?: Never forget, Zero. If the Nomble wants a death, he gets one.
Zero: You...
[the cloaked figure from the shadow invasion is witnessing the scene]
?: Goodbye, Zero.
Zero: Don't think you've seen the last of me! 'Cause you haven't! I'll return! My first job will be to kill Shawn--
[SPLAT]
?: Zero is no more. Now, you must go to OMG2. Dark should be waiting for you there, as well as Shade and Metal.
SJR: And what about you?
?: I shall look for a way to get you out of here.
SJR: ....thank you, stranger.
Chapter 51: The Island of Death
[cut to Shade and Metal; they open their eyes, and find themselves on a slowly-moving conveyor belt]
Shade: What the?
[they get off the conveyor belt, and take a look around]
[they are on a giant, floating island in the sky; tons of strange structures are everywhere]
MS: This must be OMG2. Pfft. Doesn't look that scary.
Dark: Hey.
MS: EEEEEEEEK!!!
Shade: Dark! What are you doing here?
Dark: I've been here for a day now. Remember?
Shade: Oh, yeah.
MS: Don't ever sneak up on me like that again. Got it?
Dark: But, I didn't--
[Metal grabs Dark by the neck]
MS: GOT IT?!
Dark: Urk! Got it!
[Metal lets go]
Shade: So, are respawns allowed here, or do we die for real?
Dark: I tried. Respawns are allowed.
MS: You.... tried?
Dark: I tried to grab a bazooka, but it was a trick.
MS: You mean THAT bazooka, over there, in that pod?
Dark: Yes.
MS: That's because you didn't know how to do it right. Let ME show you how it's done.
[Metal walks in and grabs the bazooka]
MS: Heh. That was EASY.
[he tries to leave, but the pod closed on him]
MS: Uh-oh.
[water slowly starts filling the pod]
MS: .....
[after a while, the water drains, and the door opens]
MS: That was stupid. I'm a ROBOT. I don't breathe.
Dark: Well, you got a bazooka, and that's good. ...where are the others, anyway?
Red: We're right here.
MS: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
[Metal fires his bazooka towards Red, and all the people who just got here die]
[they respawn]
Red: OW! A little WARNING next time?
MS: STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!
SJR: If you are done blowing people up, Metal... we appear to have regrouped now.
MS: Ah. So we have. Next, we've got to do WHAT, again?
SJR: Find some way off this island.
MK: I got it! If I jump, I'll land on the ground below!
[Mecha jumps]
Dark: ...........he is incredibly stupid.
MS: Yep. Yep, he sure is.
[Mecha respawns]
MK: Ow.
Shade: Will everyone stop doing stuff for a little bit? If we stick together as a group, we can explore this place. Okay?
All: Okay.
Shade: Okay. Let's let our two Tour Guides guide us on our tour of this island.
Rks: I think he means us.
SJR: Yes, he does. Um... alright.
[Shade Junior and Rakshawl step up]
Rks: Hey, how are you? My name is Rakshawl.
All: Hi, Rakshawl.
SJR: And I am Shade Junior.
All: Hello, Shade Junior.
Rks: And we will be your tour guides today! So, please stick together, don't wander off, and only touch stuff when we say so.
Chapter 52: Keep Your Arms and Legs Inside the Vehicle at All Times
[they come across a structure that stretches high into the sky]
SJR: Ah, this is the Elevator to Heaven. Step inside, and rise up to the top.
[Tail raises his hand]
SJR: Yes, Tail?
Tail: Why is it the "Elevator" to Heaven? Why not a stairway?
SJR: Because that's not practical! A stairway to Heaven would LOOK pretty, but do you realize how much walking you would do?
Tail: .....a lot.
SJR: Precisely! That would be as impractical as a zeppelin made of lead!
Tail: Okay! ...sorry I asked.
SJR: Time for a demonstration of what's up there. May I have a volunteer?
Dark: I suppose I'll volunteer.
SJR: Good. Now, Dark, go up there, and Rakshawl will activate the stuff up there.
[Dark goes up the 'elevator,' followed by Rakshawl]
[the group waits down on the ground as they hear a button being pressed]
SJR: Now, watch closely. Blink, and you'll mis--
[BOOM!]
SJR: ....it.
[they could just about to see a small speck fly across the island in the sky, then hit another floating island, and splat!]
[Dark respawns; Rakshawl jumps down, and lands in a river]
Dark: That was painful.
SJR: Yes, but it was funny.
Dark: Let's carry on.
[they keep going]
SShade: Wait! Aren't we gonna stop at that pod with the bazo--
MS: No.
SShade: Why no--
MS: You ask a LOT of questions, don't you?
SShade: But--
MS: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
[they stop at a big building]
SJR: I've realized, this will take a LONG time at this rate. How about we just split up and run around?
All: YAY!!!
Chapter 52.5: Ram this Vehicle to the Ground!
[after a few seconds, tons of chao are on the conveyor belt, having respawned]
Hero: I died by that cannon thing on top of the elevator!
Chao: I drowned in the pod!
Phantom: I fell off the side of the island during the rush!
DH: I found grenades and blew myself up!
Knuckle: Dark pushed me off a building!
Shade: I fell down through a floor!
SShade: I committed suicide randomly!
Qz: I didn't die!
[Shade pushes Quartz off the conveyor belt, off the island]
Shade: Wait a second. There's some sort of obstacle course here.
SJR: Ah, yes! Um... everyone? If I may have your attention?
MK: HEY, THE TOUR GUIDE WANTS TO FUCKING SPEAK, YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES! SHUT THE FUCKING SHIT UP BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASSES!
Shade: Oh, this will so be censored....
SJR: Yes, well... I regret to inform you of something EXTREMELY annoying.
Dark: Here it comes...
SJR: This place has secret triggers.
[everyone screams, and jumps off the island]
SJR: And these ones are extremely hard to obtain.
[everyone screams, and jumps off the island]
SJR: But, I know where they all are.
[everyone cheers, and Shade throws Quartz off the island; Dark throws Knuckle off the island]
SJR: Let's get them, then.
Chapter 53: OMG SECRET TRIGGARZ
SJR: I am afraid that they do take a bit of time to acquire.
MS: Damn. Looks like this is gonna take a montage.
Poker gang: MONTAGE!
["Montage," by Team America plays while Shade Junior directs people to the secret triggers]
[1: Knuckle presses a button on the edge of a cliff; after pressing it, he falls]
[2: Phantom presses a random sign]
[3: Metal Sonic blows up a wall with his bazooka]
[4: Dark crawls into a secret place, and blows up some stuff with his grenade]
[5: Mecha presses a button way, way, WAY up in the sky]
[as soon as he presses the button, lasers fire at all areas of the island, killing everyone multiple times]
[then, a giant explosion occurs at the conveyor belt]
[the song ends]
SJR: Okay.... *cough cough*... that should be all of them.
Shade: So, what do they unlock? A killer weapon?
SJR: A jumping puzzle. Who is good at jumping? .....no one? Fine, I'll do it.
[Shade Junior goes to a new secret place, does a jumping puzzle, then comes back]
SJR: Okay, now that was the TRUE final secret trigger.
Shade: What did THAT unlock?
SJR: All in good time, father. First of all, Metal. Do you still have that Reports book?
MS: Yep.
SJR: Read the last few reports.
To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: If there's a bushel in your hedgegrow, don't be alarmed, now. It's just a spring clean for the May Queen.
Message: Liking your new park? Here is a place you can explore. A hint: Try going into the caged hole.

To: Turrican
From: Tour Guide
Subject: The piper is here, and you can hear him, can't you?
Message: Inside this lab, you shall work. You shall maintain everything. Think of it as your prison, because it is.
Don't expect visitors, because they won't come. And, if you hear rock music... well... let's just hope you don't.

SJR: So, there should have been a caged hole somewhere, which should NOW be open.
Rks: Actually, according to these reports, that Turrican guy should be in there.
Dark: Ah... finally, we get some answers from the creator of the maps. The founder of the city.
[they find the hole, and jump down]
Chapter 53.5: Have You Been Able to Get the Beverage Machine to Work Yet?
[they find themselves in a hallway; windows are to their left, showing more lab]
[through the window, a man is seen walking down another hallway]
Hero: Is that him?
SJR: ...no. That's some other guy. Come, let's move on.
[they find the end of the hallway; the window is blocked by a shutter, and a soda machine is to their right]
[as they walk in, the shutters open, revealing a colorful robot thing in a complex lab]
?: Oh, hello.
SJR: Hm. That robot heavily resembles the descriptions of Turrican.
Knuckle: You mean... he's not a chao?
SJR: Of course not! The founder of this city couldn't have been a mere chao!
Shade: So... so, a robot with personality, or something?
SJR: Dad, the point for now should be that we've found him. He's locked in that lab. The original Tour Gui--
Turrican: Have you been able to get the beverage machine to work yet?
SJR: Um... uh...
MS: Oh, he means the soda machine. Don't worry, fellow robot. The Poker Gang has fixed dozens of these things. Boys!
MK: Yes, boss!
[Mecha and the Tails Doll step up to the machine, and carefully examine it]
MK: Hmmm....
[Mecha casually kicks it; it breaks open, and soda cans pour all over the floor]
MK: Done.
Chapter 54: Who IS the Original?
Turrican: As I expected.
[a bell rings; Turrican walks over to his door, and opens it]
Turrican: Ah, hello, Gordon Freeman. It's good to see you.
[Gordon Freeman (from Half-Life) walks in]
Freeman: Hello.
Turrican: Excuse me, but I'm rather busy now.
Freeman: Can we do this later?
Turrican: Of course!
[Gordon leaves; Turrican goes back to examining his machines]
Red: What the frigonometry does that guy DO all day?
Rks: He probably keeps the city running, or something.
[a groaning sound is heard]
Turrican: That sound... what is it?
[he looks around]
Turrican: Glad to see those backup generator cells are in good shape today.
[the lights in Turrican's lab go out; after a while, backup lights turn on]
Turrican: Oh, dear.
[he runs to the door, which does not open]
SJR: Man, isn't anyone gonna help him?
Hero: I would, but I might damage the glass.
SJR: I didn't mean one of US. Isn't anyone else in there?
[EXPLOSION!]
[a hole has been blown in the wall; Turrican looks into it, and sees nothing]
Shade: Oh, I know how this'll end. He'll walk in, then the Nomble will come out and kill him.
DH: DON'T GO IN THERE!
[he goes in there, and disappears]
[pause]
Shade: Huh. Maybe I was wrong.
[a door opens next to them, and they are sucked into an empty room]
SJR: Something is definitely wrong.
Shade: What, other than the fact we were just sucked into an empty room?
SJR: Yes. According to the reports, the Tour Guide's been around for a while, and yet Zero just got here a few years ago.
Rks: Same with me.
SJR: And I just got here mere DAYS ago! While the Tour Guide in these reports has got to be generations old.
MK: What? So there's still some mysterious guy in a cloak, creeping people out?
SShade: Maybe it was that guy who wants to help get us out.
SJR: I don't know. The original Tour Guide apparently wanted the Nomble to eat. The one we met doesn't.
Dark: .......guys, I think we've got much, MUCH, MUCH bigger problems right now.
MS: Yeah? Like what?
Dark: Like finding the exit. Notice how it disappeared?
MS: ...holy fuck.
[heavy rock music is heard]
SJR: The Tour Guide warned Turrican about rock music. I wonder what it means... wait. I know this song!
Shade: We ALL do, Junior. ...it is the theme of death. The theme of--
[the Nomble appears, and slowly moves towards them]
All: THE NOMBLE!!!
Chapter 54.9: IT'S NOMBLE TIME
Rks: Master! Don't kill us! We are your humble servants!
[it keeps going]
Rks: ....well, that's all I got.
MS: Great. Led to our dooms by hopes of getting out of here.
MK: Isn't that how it always goes?
Shade: *sigh* ...this is it. The end of my life. The end.
?: Not if I have anything to say about it!
[the cloaked man is back, standing in between them and the Nomble]
hade: It's you!
?: Yes, it is I. I told you I'd think of a way to get you out of here. I don't normally break my promises.
Dark: What shall you do?
?: I... have no idea.
MS: Wait, how'd you get in here?
?: I can't remember.
MS: Well, REMEMBER! Get us out!
?: .....ah, of course, I remember!
[the man opens a vent (which was not there before), and gets them through]
Chapter 55: Echoes in the Wind
[cut to inside a dark cave; plants are everywhere]
[a vent appears in a wall; they climb out; it disappears]
Shade: Whoa. How did you DO that?
?: A magician never tells his secrets, dear boy.
MS: Hmm... according to my Horizon Scan, we are seventy miles below OMG2 right now. How did we get HERE?
?: Don't you worry about that. Just be glad you're not dead.
Dark: Yes, of course. You saved us, kind person. Who ARE you?
?: ...your Tour Guide to leaving the city. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going.
[the "Tour Guide" walks away, realizes there are no corners anywhere, looks around, then just runs off-screen]
Chao: That guy was WEIRD.
Shade: Hey, check it out!
[in the center of a big river is a large present]
Shade: Let's open it!
Dark: Um... let's not.
Shade: Why not?
Dark: I'd say I'm about done with this city, wouldn't you?
Shade: ...good point.
SJR: Besides, all that's in there is just a dark room, walls soaked with blood.
SShade: Really?
SJR: Yeah. I've been here a TON of times. The funny thing is, it's impossible to leave that room we left.
Shade: Oh, I get the feeling we'll be seeing more of that guy soon. Maybe then, he can tell us what happened.
MS: For now, I highly recommend we get the fuck out of here.
All: Agreed.
[cut to the exit of the cave; they find themselves in a giant hedge maze; the walls extend upwards for miles]
MS: Damn, these hedges are THICK! I can't see through them!
Shade: I remember this place. I could have sworn the first time we were here that it wasn't that bad, though.
SJR: The Red Metal got to the plants. It kind of... super-fied them.
Red: Man, can we stop talking for TWO SECONDS, and focus on getting OUT of here?!
[they shut up, and walk through the maze for a little while]
[a half-hour later...]
Shade: Well, we're screwed.
MS: We're NOT screwed! Here, let me just HACK and SLASH my way out!
[Metal starts cutting some hedges; they quickly grow back]
SJR: Like I said, the Red Metal superfied the plants.
MS: Fuck.
Chao: Wait. Where's Tail?
[they look around; Tail's gone]
PF: TAIL?
[no answer]
SJR: Rakshakl's gone, too!
Shade: Oh, boy. I hate to say this, but let's split up and look for them. This hedge maze can't be THAT big.
[the camera pans backwards, revealing the hedge maze surrounding the entire city, and being HUGE]
[so, they split up]
[let's stick with the Poker Gang]
MK: Oooh... this hedge maze sure is spooky.
TD: Oh, stop being such a big baby!
MK: (whining) Boss! The Tails Doll just called me a big baby!
MS: *sigh* Tails Doll, stop calling Mecha names.
TD: Pfft. Snitch.
MK: Boss!
MS: Shut up.
[WHOOSH]
MK: What was that?
TD: Knowing you, it was probably a PANCAKE.
MK: It... it didn't sound like a pancake.
[WHOOSH]
MK: There it was again!
[WHOOSH!]
TD: Holy shit. Hey, boss...
MS: What now?
TD: Mecha's gone.
Chapter 56: What the F-Troop?
MS: Aw, crap. MECHA?
[no answer]
TD: MECHA?
MS: Argh. We'll find him eventually. Let's just keep moving.
?: ...................you're next.
MS: Wha? Huh? What? Did you just say something?
TD: I didn't say anything.
MS: Right. Okay.
?: .................NOW!
[thousands of shadowy creatures formulate]
MS: Crap.
[one of them takes the Tails Doll, and runs off]
MS: No!
[before Metal can give chase, the shadows become too many]
MS: Grr... you shadows picked the wrong day to mess with me.
[Metal pulls out his bazooka, and fires his last bullet; the area clears; the Doll is still gone]
MS: ...oh, boy.
Shade: Metal? Metal, is that you?
[Shade runs to him]
MS: Hey, Shade. Shadows come by and kidnap YOUR friends?
Shade: Not just that, they've pretty much kidnapped EVERYBODY!
[Shade Junior comes, too]
SJR: *pant* Yeah... Dad and I are the only chao left.
MS: Okay. Grab some form of weapon, boys. Preferably a shotgun. It's time for a shadow hunt.
Chapter 56.5: Left 3 Shade-- "Bloody Harvey"
[cut to Metal, Shade, and Shade Junior, walking through the maze, shooting at any shadows they see]
MS: If my calculations are correct, and they usually are, then this will not be easy.
Shade: I don't care if it's not easy; this is the matter between being in Chao Talk, and being at HOME!
SJR: You know, if MY calculations are correct, then if we follow the shadows, they should take us to the original Tour Guide.
MS: Well, your calculations aren't always correct. Now, shut up and shoot.
[they keep going through the hedge maze]
[after a while, the place becomes infested with shadows, and they run out of ammo]
MS: Damnit.
SJR: Hmm... I wonder if that cloaked man will return again.
Shade: What are the odds in THAT?
?: 2 to 1. Either I do, or I don't.
[the cloaked man has returned, and killed all the shadows]
?: I understand you need some help getting your friends back?
MS: Yeah. Actually, why don't you go ahead and just... stick with us for a bit, until we get off this planet?
?: ...fine. But, let's not throw a party until we're out of the city.
[cut to the four walking through the hedge maze]
SJR: So, do you know where our friends are?
?: I do not.
SJR: How will you help us, then?
?: I know not.
Shade: WHY did you help us, then?
?: ....I must watch over you, Shade. That is why.
Shade: What do you mean?
?: If you were to die here, that would mean my existance is pointless.
Shade: Um... okay, then.
[suddenly, a bunch of shadows appear, and form into one GIANT shadow]
?: Your friends are inside that shadow.
SJR: What? How can you tell? Are you psychic?
?: No. I can see them.
SJR: ...oh.
MS: Leave this one to me.
[Metal dives into the shadow]
[pause]
[he jumps out, carrying all their friends]
[......BOOM! the shadow explodes]
Chapter 57: Outskirts
Tail: Thank you for saving us, strange stranger.
?: Ah, don't worry about repaying me. For now, let's just get out of here.
TD: But how? This place has to be MILLIONS of miles long!
[they turn one corner, and there's the exit]
TD: Oh.
[they run around on the hills for a while, laughing at the fact that they are out of the city]
Red: FINALLY!
Rks: *sniffs the air* Ah. I haven't left that city in years. It's great to finally be out.
MS: C'mon, everybody. I hate to rain on your Gay Pride Parade, but we should focus on getting off this planet.
Shade: Metal's right. So, how will we do that?
[they stand around a bit, wondering how]
?: I shall get us out.
[the man forms a vent out of thin air again, and urges everyone to climb in]
[they come out in the Dark Garden]
Chapter 57.5: Dreams of an Absolute Epilogue
?: There. Now, I must be going.
[the man disappears]
Shade: YES! WE MADE IT! We made it, HA HA HA HA!
[Shade jumps into the pool of red water, but stops smiling]
Shade: .....
Chao: What is it, Shade?
[close-up of Shade's face]
Shade: This isn't the Dark Garden.
[they find themselves back in Chao Talk, in the Entertainment Center]
All: *scream*
Red: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
SJR: Just as I suspected. We ALMOST made it out of the city, but it's not THAT easy.
Red: WHAT?! You KNEW, yet you didn't WARN us?!
SJR: I... I had to be sure! It MIGHT have been that easy!
Red: I'm gonna KILL YOU!
[the others hold Red back]
Shade: Please, Junior, explain to us what the FUCK is going on here.
SJR: Well, people usually disappear in the maze. There are tons of stories of that. BUT, I've also heard stories of--
Dark: --of waffles?
SJR: No. Stories of people reappearing here after entering the hedge maze. THEN, they disappear.
Red: Just get to the point, already!
SJR: Okay. The Dark Garden was an illusion, and that cloaked man... was the original Tour Guide.
?: Very clever, newcomer.
[the original Tour Guide is standing in the doorway]
TG: You see, the Nomble still wants your death, Shade Junior. And yours, too, Rakshawl.
MK: Then let them die, and set us free!
TG: No, he sees you all as accomplices.
Dark: *gasp* I recognize you.
TG: I thought you would. And you, too, Shadow Bonic.
SB: You DO seem a little familiar.
Dark: But I know you. You're the one who kidnapped Shadow Bonic, and said something about Slidje being in trouble.
TG: Yes. In fact, he is STILL in trouble. He is dying. If you will recall that present you saw...
SJR: Of course! The bloody walls, and stuff... that's Slidje's room!
TG: He is still, indeed, in danger. But, wait! Listen.
[a strange, garbled sound is heard]
TG: Do you hear that?
[pause]
TG: ...the Piper's calling you to join him.
[the Guide charges, and grabs Shade Junior, and somehow Rakshawl, and then walks around a corner]
Dark: It's no use. He's disappeared now.
Shade: But.... we've got to save our son! We NEED to find him!
Dark: ....I'd say he's somewhere in this building.
SB: And, I have something to say, as well. This place has Secret Triggers, AND Super Secret Triggers.
All: *groan*
SB: Luckily, we got the secret triggers very early on. Unfortunately, the Super Secret Triggers are very well-hidden.
Chapter 58: Question Mark?
[the camera zooms out, back to JOE and Metal Speedy]
JOE: This is insanity. I had no idea the city was THIS bad!
MSp: Never mind the city; what about the MILKMAN? He's somewhere in there, probably lost!
JOE: What's funny is, I thought that cloaked guy was him.
MSp: I did too, actually.
JOE: *sigh* Man, I noticed we've been giving a lot of useless commentary. At least the MILKMAN's actually doing shit.
MSp: Well, I noticed everybody's been doing a lot of useless swearing.
JOE: Fuck you, asshole.
[back to the chao]
[they are exploring the map, and find a secret passage]
Shade: What's inside?
Chao: Why not ask that AFTER we've checked?
Shade: ...good idea.
[they check, and come back]
Shade: So, what's inside?
Chao: There was a huge jumping puzzle, extending pretty high. I fell and hurt myself, and nearly died.
Shade: Well, was there anything at the top?
Chao: I don't know; I was busy crying my eyes out on the floor after falling.
Shade: That DOES sound like something you'd do.
SB: There was a Super Secret Trigger up there. Actually, I believe that was the last one.
Dark: What? How can you tell?
SB: We already got two of them.
[sure enough, that WAS the last one, for they are teleported away to a chamber far away]
Dark: Shadow Bonic, this place looks oddly familiar.
SB: It does?
Dark: Oh, that's right, you were unconscious when we were here.
SB: Huh.
[they approach a big door, and hear a fanfare]
Telepathy: Slidje has been kidnapped by some random enemy force!
Shade: So... we need to go to the briefing room.
TD: If we don't want to go, we can go to the left.
MK: I dunno about YOU guys, but I'M going to the left!
Dark: Mecha, NO!
[Mecha approaches a door to the left, which opens, revealing the Nomble]
MK: FUCK!
[Metal somehow saves Mecha]
MK: Thanks, boss.
MS: Let's just get the Hell out of here.
[they go to the briefing room, and sit down in chairs]
[a projector shows slides of random things, like hippos, while telepathy informs them of what to do]
Hero: So, Slidje was last seen on the toilet.
SShade: We have to rescue him.
Chao: That doesn't sound too hard.
Dark: Tell me, Chao... when's the last time you saw a toilet anywhere in this city?
Chao: ......good point.
[suddenly, they find themselves in a flashy room]
Tail: SEIZURES! *gasp*
Dark: Relax. We'll find a way out of this. ....after we deal with the Tour Guide.
MK: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Dark: Listen.
[they hear the Tour Guide behind the wall behind them]
TG: I'll give you two three minutes to tell me your story. After that... you'll have to rock out.
Shade: I don't think I want to know what that means.
Dark: So, let's hurry and find some way out of this.
Chapter 59: The Pied Piper
MS: Hey, guys! Check it out! RPGs!
[Metal found a secret stash of bazookas]
Dark: Excellent. Well done, Metal. Now, I'm sure these are here for a reason.
MS: Hmmm... I'm detecting three boxes in this place that will only open if blown up.
MK: *chuckle* So, let's put two and two together.
SShade: ...four?
MK: No, my dimwitted chao. Let's the blow the living shit out of those boxes, and then out of the Tour Guide.
[long story short, they blow up the boxes. There's really nothing that special about how they do it]
[then, the wall behind them opens up, revealing the Tour Guide, Shade Junior, and Rakshawl]
TG: ...it appears your time has run out.
SJR: Oh, no........ wait. You guys made it! Quick! Save us!
TG: They cannot save you. They can do nothing, but join you.
MS: Just you watch, Tour Guide!
TG: Time to pay the piper.
[horrifying roars are heard]
Rks: Okay, now I'm scared.
[they look up, and the Nomble appears, slowly coming down]
TG: Go on. Run. I dare you.
SJR: I'm taking that dare!
[Junior runs away, to the group of chao]
Rks: Don't leave me! *joins them*
Shade: Ha! It would appear that your Nomble can't get us NOW!
TG: Are you sure? Master, they are over here.
[the Nomble quickly drops to the ground, and starts moving towards them]
SB: How did he do that?
Shade: Who cares, just RUN!
[they run away, but reach a dead end]
[the Nomble is slowly approaching them]
MS: You know what? I'm done running. I'll pay the piper, all right. Pay him with a good ol' knuckle sandwich!
[Metal steps up]
DH: Metal, no! He's bigger than you!
MS: But, he's not tougher. Time to kick some ass.
[Metal starts ramming the Nomble; it roars]
MS: Heh, what's that? You want MORE? Okay, I'll give you more!
[SMACK! Roaaaaaaaar!]
[SMACK! roaaaaar]
[SMACK! roar]
[SMACK! Rowr..... RAWR!]
[the Nomble starts moving faster]
Dark: Metal, you're only making it madder!
MS: Aw, crap. Then, what am I supposed to do?
?: You're supposed to stand back and let ME do it.
[they look, and a new Neutral chao is in their group]
Shade: Who are you?
?: ....I am just another lost soul in this deadly city. But, I know how to stop the Nomble.
Red: Then, dude, please DO IT ALREADY!
?: Right. Of course.
[the Neutral chao steps up, and does some form of magic; the Nomble disappears]
Dark: Wow! You... you did it! Thank you, stranger!
?: You are quite welcome, Dark. And, Shade... we will meet again someday. For now, I must be going.
[Shade looks at the chao, and nods]
[the chao runs away]
MS: Y'know, I hate to once again rain on your Gay Pride Parade, but... the Tour Guide's gone.
Dark: ..I get the feeling I know where he is. Let's go.
[they leave the area, and exit the Entertainment Center]
Chapter 60: Struck by the Thunders of Life
[cut to the outskirts of the city--]
Shade: Wait. How did we get here when we could barely get here NORMALLY?
[well, they went through the hedge maze again, but this time, nothing eventful happened]
[anyway, they find the ruins of a factory]
MS: Isn't this where that JOE guy plotted evil schemes?
Dark: The very same place. And I get the feeling he's behind things again.
[they step into the ruins of the factory]
[camera zoom-out, to JOE and Metal Speedy]
[they look at each other, with a confused look]
[JOE shrugs]
[back to the chao]
TG: I have to admit, I'm surprised, Dark. I wasn't expecting you to know where I was.
Dark: Oh, but it is easy to deduce.
TG: Ah, yes, that smartness of yours... do you like it?
Dark: Yes, I am.
TG: Good. Because I must take it back now.
Dark: Wh-wh...what?
[the place flashes]
Dark: Um... what just happen?
TG: You were smart, but now you're stupid. THAT'S what just happened.
Dark: ...but... but, I was just getting used to thinking!
TG: Yes, but if you were to continue thinking, you would be overwhelmed by your thoughts!
Dark: ...no.... that can't be right.
TG: But it is! It is, Dark.
Dark: But... but..... I'm smart.
TG: No, you aren't. Not anymore.
Dark: .....grr.......
[Thunderstruck, by AC/DC, plays here]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYWZZlVlFb4
[Dark attacks the Tour Guide, and is instantly knocked off]
[the Tour Guide accidentally sends them away to the Deluxe Office; Dark continues attacking him]
[Dark chases him down the stairs, and across walkways]
[the Tour Guide reaches a closed door, and then Dark smacks into him, and provides enough force to crash through the door]
[they spend some time playing cat-and-mouse through a maze]
[then, Dark knocks him down through multiple falls, and they reach the Wall of Bricks]
[the Tour Guide then proceeds to teleport them away to the Daedalus Labs (accidentally)]
TG: Ugh... heh... you caught me by surprise, there.
Dark: Give me back my smartness.
TG: And why should I do that?
Dark: If you don't... I'll think of some way to get back at you.
TG: *chuckle* I doubt you will.
Dark: That's it!
[Dark charges, but the Tour Guide merely leads him into the labs]
[Shade Junior and Rakshawl used their Tour Guide powers to get there, and ran after them]
[Dark and the TG run down to the research labs, and into a portal]
[in the portal, the TG leads Dark up some pillars, before Dark gets him]
TG: Oof! Hang on... just... grab that purple key there...
Dark: Give me back my smartness first.
TG: ...no.
Dark: C'mon. I want my smarties so I can get you your purply key thingie.
TG: Forget it, I'll get it myself.
[the TG hops backwards and grabs the purple key]
[the song ends, and SJR and Rakshawl run in]
SJR: Dark! Listen to me, you must stop the Tour Guide!
Dark: I'm... I'm trying!
Rks: Tour Guide. Listen to me. You don't need to do this.
TG: Oh, but I do! You see, I don't want anyone leaving this city!
Rks: Neither do I, but if they want to go, I'll let them.
TG: ....I believe it's time we had a talk, Rakshawl. You, too, Shade Junior. We three Tour Guides.
SJR: I'll send Dark away, then.
[he does that]
Chapter 61: The Talk of the Tour Guides
SJR: So, Tour Guide. About what do you wish to talk?
TG: About the fate of this city.
Rks: You know of it?
TG: Yes, I do. It is not good.
SJR: Let me guess-- the Red Metal has gathered too much, and you can't solve the puzzles in time.
TG: Exactly. This is why I need the chao to stay here, to help solve the puzzles.
Rks: But, why have you been trying to kill them?
TG: The Nomble has occasionally told me to kill a certain chao.
SJR: Which one?
TG: ...the one named "Dark." He must die. He must. Give him to me, now.
SJR: No way! Dark is essential to our team.
TG: Don't tell me you're starting to grow attatched to these chao.
SJR: He's one of my fathers, of COURSE I grew attatched to him!
TG: Shade Junior... you have no need for fathers. Once you were born, you lost the need for them.
Rks: Guys, we can talk about ethics and morals and needs later, for now, let's focus on the topic.
TG: ....very well. I need the chao to help me solve puzzles. We have mere hours. Will you help?
SJR: ............okay.
Rks: There we go! Let's do this, then.
TG: But... if the Nomble wishes for someone's death, it must happen.
[Shade Junior leaves the room]
TG: Rakshawl.
Rks: Uh.... yeah?
TG: I'm afraid I must drop a sudden bombshell on you.
Rks: How much of a bombshell?
TG: That is for you to decide.
Rks: *gulp* Okay, go ahead.
TG: You were not born in this city.
Rks: Wha? ...what do you mean? For as long as I can remember, I've been here...
TG: Yes, you were raised. By me. I raised you. But, you were born elsewhere.
Rks: ..do you know where?
TG: Not for sure, but I'm certain it was not here. You see, I knew your parents.
Rks: Go on.
TG: They were pure Covenant Halo stuff, alright. They tried to invade this planet, starting with this city.
Rks: ...but... but where was I during this? You are not to say that they brought a baby with them, are you?
TG: Oh, but they DID. I found them hiding in a closet, trying to hide you from the others.
Rks: .......hide..?
TG: They explained their situation, and I spared their lives. They said they had just given birth to you when the invasion started. They had no time to find a place to take care of you, so they had to smuggle you onboard their alien ship. I could tell that they meant well, and were unlike the others. So, I warned them of the dangers of the city, and made sure they left as soon as they could. But, they did not know what to do with you. It is frowned upon to bring a baby to an invasion, of course, and they did not want that burden of shame upon them, or worse, you. But then, their commanding officer came by and gathered them, announcing their retreat. Naturally, not even the Covenant can successfully invade Chao Talk. By this time, things were so frantic that your parents had no chance to smuggle you back onto the ship, so you were still here.
Rks: ...and so... and so... my parents didn't abandon me...
TG: No, they simply had no time to bring you with them.
Rks: Boy, when you said you were gonna drop a bombshell... I wasn't expecting that.
TG: And now that I have told you all you need to know...
Rks: I can go?
TG: Yes.
[the Tour Guide grabs Rakshakl's throat; Rakshawl gasps and grabs him with his last strength]
[the Tour Guide simply stands as Rakshawl's grip loosens, and his face melts]
TG: .....straight to your death.
[he turns, and slowly walks off-screen]
[the camera zooms in on where Rakshawl's face used to be; Red Metal oozes out of it]
Chapter 62: All Clear
[cut to the chao, solving puzzles YET AGAIN]
Shade: I swear, this is getting annoying.
Red: I know, right? We've solved the exact same puzzles over and over again!
Shade: We've got to find a way out of here.
Dark: Why don't we just go back through the hedge maze again, and find our way out like that?
SB: We can't. Not until the city is back to normal, and the puzzles are finished.
Dark: So... so we have to finish the puzzles... and then escape?
SB: Attempt to escape.
Shade: Okay. It's a plan, then. Let's solve these puzzles as fast as possible.
[MONTAGE! just put some energetic song in here, like "Montage," by Team America]
[they speed through the six maps, and solve all the puzzles]
Shade: Chapter title!
TG: Really? All clear?
Shade: Yeah. That's why I said....
TG: Hmm. Well. So... good. However, I am afraid it won't last long. The Red Metal is at a bad state.
Shade: What do you MEAN... "it won't last long?"
TG: I mean, the puzzles will reset in a matter of minutes.
Shade: Wha? But...
TG: Yes... you are trapped in this city forever. Hope you enjoy it.
[the Tour Guide turns, and walks away]
SJR: Come now, Tour Guide. We all know that's not true.
[the Guide stops, and turns to face Shade Junior]
TG: ...Junior.
SJR: Tour Guide, the puzzles are solved. They won't be reset unless we reset them ourselves.
TG: Hold your tongue, new recruit.
SJR: No. And, where's Rakshawl? I haven't seen him in a while.
TG: Rakshawl... had to leave the city for a little wh--
Shade: Why could HE leave, yet WE can't?
TG: !!! ...um...
Dark: C'mon, even I can see that you're hiding something from us. And I'm ME!
TG: Well...
MS: You're starting to look a little phony right about now. What are you hiding?
TG: I...
MK: Spill it!
TG: ENOUGH!
[everyone goes quiet]
TG: If you truly wish to know... just take a look at my face.
[the Tour Guide removes his cloak; the camera does not show his face]
MS: Holy damn.
MK: Well, I'll be a monkey's well-toned uncle.
TD: Something's wrong, John. That's not your face.... it's mine!
[the Tour Guide drops to the ground; he becomes a mere cloak; out of the cloak pops the Tails Doll]
[everyone stares at the REAL Tails Doll, and at the new one on the cloak]
Red: That's what I call a plot twist!
TD: That's what I call bullshit. What is this guy trying to pull?
[the fake Doll slowly disintegrates as Red Metal burts out]
All: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Chao: This is craziness. What, exactly, is going on?
MS: He was Red Metal all along. I don't know if the Red Metal is one large organism, just a material, or a species, but--
MK: I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
[Mecha runs into the door-- literally]
MK: Oof! Freaking... wait. I can't open the door! I thought the city was back to normal again!
SJR: We've got bigger problems right now... look out the window.
[they look out the window, and see that there is no city anymore-- just Red Metal]
Chapter 63: The Poop Hits the Paddles
SJR: Oh, dear... the worst has come. The fabled fate of the city...
SB: You mean the one where the city dissolves completely?
SJR: Even worse-- the one where the Red Metal gets to the rest of the world!
Dark: Argh... I'm sick of being stupid! Why can't I be smart again?
SJR: Actually, how did the Tour Guide give you smartness if he, himself, was Red Metal?
MS: Isn't it obvious? That stuff distorts reality, so it can do pretty much ANYTHING!
SShade: Wait a second. If the whole city is Red Metal, how are WE still alive?
SB: Obviously, the Red Metal hasn't gotten the WHOLE city yet. Just what we can see out the window.
[the window dissolves; Red Metal slowly seeps into the room]
Shade: ...let's continue our conversation elsewhere.
MS: Agreed.
[they run for the nearest exit]
MK: Fuck it; I'm busting open a wall!
[Mecha busts open a random wall, and they see the actual city]
Red: FREEDOM!
SB: Yes, but not for long. We have to find the hedge maze, and FAST.
Shade: Wait! Metal, can't you fly?
MS: Yeah, but I can't carry everybody!
Shade: No, you fly around and look for the nearest exit! Then guide us through the maze!
MS: Good idea.
[they look back, and see the Red Metal acting faster, disintegrating the building they just left]
TD: Double time!
[they dash, following Metal (who is in the sky)]
SJR: Guys, we have an enormous problem.
Shade: What's that, son?
SJR: The Red Metal is accellerating at a lethal rate.
Dark: What?
Shade: He means the Red Metal's getting faster.
Dark: Oh. ...crap.
[they reach the hedge maze]
MS: Aw, shit.
Shade: What is it?
MS: Remember how the plants were superfied earlier by the Red Metal?
Shade: *groan* That's not good... they were EXTRA superfied? You can't see over them?
MS: No.
Speedy: Well, we're screwed.
Dark: ....wait. What about the Nomble?
SB: ..that's actually a good question. Wouldn't we normally see it by now?
[ROOOAAAAAR!]
[they turn, and see the Nomble, gigantic, moving in an erratic manner]
[they look closer, and see Red Metal slowly eating away at the top of it]
Shade: We've got to get out of here.
He: But, even if we DO get out, the Red Metal will still spread to the rest of the planet.
Shade: C'mon, He! What do you expect us to do? How do YOU think we can stop this unknown substance?
He: *sigh* Fine... fine...
MS: C'mon, guys. If we focus, we can get through the hedge maze.
[Metal leads them into the maze]
[this time, all they see are hedges, going as high and as far as the eye can see]
[all they smell is their sweat and fear]
[all they hear is a slight fizzling sound (Red Metal eating away at the city) and the Nomble's roaring]
[eventually, they see the light-- the outskirts of the city]
MS: Holy damn. I didn't actually expect to make it this far.
SB: *turns around* No time to celebrate.
MS: What?
Chapter 64: Chilling to the Bone
[they all turn around, and see the Tour Guide, who disappears]
[then, they turn to face the exit, and he's there]
TG: Going somewhere? I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to leave... leave..... leave... *shakes head* leave the city.
MS: Move it, bucko.
TG: I am afraid I cannot allow you to leave.
MS: I said, MOVE IT.
TG: I I I I I I I I...I...I-I... I want to kkkkill you.
MS: ...what's gotten into you, man? Woke up on the wrong side of YOUR MOM this morning?
TG: HahahaHAHAhahHAHAHAhaHAahAahAhaHahAHAahAHahAha... hiLarious. No, I SImply wokE up on thE riGHt SIde of Red Metal.
[the cloak starts melting away, starting from the bottom]
TG: By the way... I... I I I I I am not really a Tails Doll. That was JuSt a dECoy.
MS: We could tell.
TG: In ReALitY... I am MUCH more horriFic Than thathathathathathathathathathat.
MS: Sounds like it. Look, you wanna talk, move out of our way, or fight?
TG: ..nEITHer. I want to kkkkkkkill youuuuu.
[the Guide slowly steps forward; you can see skeletal legs where the bottom of the cloak used to be]
TG: I want to kkkkkkkill youuuuuuuuuuu.
MS: I heard ya the first time, creep. However, I want to kill YOU!
[Metal charges forward; the Guide grabs him by the neck with one hand (cloaked hand)]
TG: HehHEHEHEEHeeeHeheheHeHEEHheeEheHEhheEh.... cAught in mY tRAp...
[the cloak disintegrates much faster, revealing a torso made of muscle (no skin, just muscle)]
[the arm grabbing Metal is slowly uncloaked, as well, revealing a robotic hand, but the arm is made of bone, tissue, and dead skin]
[and the robotic hand has rust, blood, and muscle all over it]
MS: Who...... what the fuck... ARE you?
[the cloak completely disintegrates]
[the other arm is like the one holding Metal; the upper torso is a mixture of muscles, tissue, organs, and circuits]
[strangely, a bloodshot eye ball is on the upper torso, looking around frantically, but fixes its gaze upon the chao]
[the head... a pure hodgepodge of metal, circuitry, rust, blood, gore, tissue, muscle, and unknown things]
[the face... two spider eyes, no visible nose, and no lips-- just a skull's teeth, covered in blood]
[the Tour Guide turns and tosses Metal out into the outskirts]
[the back of the head... has two eyeballs, and what appear to be hands growing outwards]
[even freakier-- the BACK of the torso has several human faces, frozen in screams of anguish, staring at whoever so much as glance at them]
[the faces appear to have been sewn onto the flesh and tissue, with robotics and bone surrounding them]
[the eyes on the back of the head stare directly at the chao]
TG: ...(sounding like multiple voices at once) my name is Wilson Constable Kilburn. The Red Metal spared my life.
[the head turns around, while the body stays facing in one direction]
Kbn: I wish it didn't. But, it did. And now I am a part of it. Help me.
[Kilburn reaches out with one hand]
Kbn: Dark.
[a chill runs down Dark's spine]
Kbn: Pray... come hither, mine son.
Dark: W..w.hat?
Kbn: Son.......
[Kilburn suddenly appears right in front of Dark; he grabs him with both arms]
Dark: *whimper* ...guys... help me...
[Kilburn hugs Dark]
Kbn: I finally... finally found you, my son. It has been.... too... long....
Dark: .......Daddy...
[Kilburn becomes motionless, and falls to the ground; he collapses upon Dark]
[the others help Dark out of the pile of flesh, blood, and electronics]
Kbn: (voice in the wind) My son.......... I love you. Never... go back.... to the city........... avoid.. Red... Met.......
[the voice fades away]
[the pile of flesh which was once Kilburn has vanished]
[Dark stares at where the pile once was, and then breaks into a loud sob]
[the chao escort Dark out of the hedge maze]
[camera zoom-out to JOE and Metal Speedy]
[they stare at the screen, and then at each other]
JOE: ...we have seen the abyss, Metal Speedy.
MSp: ..........it hurts.....
[back to the chao]
Chapter 65: "Kilburn"
[cut to out on the hills, in the outskirts of the city]
Dark: *sniff* ...my father..... left the Gardens in search of Chao Talk... when I was young.
[oh, and Metal's okay now, too]
Dark: I.. I always wanted to find him again........ and now that I did...... *cry*
Shade: But.... "Kilburn?"
Dark: Yes... my last name is Kilburn. It always has been... I just never told anyone.
MK: Hang on. That... that... THING... was a human!
Dark: I didn't get that part, either.
[Shadow Bonic approaches Dark with a note]
SB: Um... I found this. It's for you.

Dear Son...
	I went to Chao Talk in search of prosperity and happiness. This was... hundreds of years ago. You see, you never, ever knew your father, Dark. The chao you thought you knew... was not me at all. It was a friend of mine, named "Echo." He was willing to act as your father for several years of your young life. But.... I couldn't bear to see what you would think of me if you knew me...
	You see, I was there... when the city was attacked by the Red Metal. It is a substance discovered in another dimension. The scientists working in Daedalus Labs found it, and brought a sample back. It quickly multiplied... and the man named "Nomble" was the first one to be infected. You know what happened to him. The substance spread rapidly, and took over most of the city.
	Our top researchers were able to hold it off by developing some machines, and a puzzle security system. If the machines were to malfunction, the city would become one big puzzle. But, that did not last too long.
	As for me... well, I was the second to become infected... yes, I, myself, am a chao. But, the Red Metal fused my brain with multiple human scientists, as well as a spider. ..yes, it is rather random, but I do not question what has happened. I must live with it. ..and some machinery got caught in the infection, resulting in the robotics you saw on me. I know I have become a monster. I was lucky that MY soul was the one that was kept, however. But, to avoid any bad incidents, and to make myself look cooler, I donned a cloak. It was made of Dark Matter, that's why it didn't burn like Hell to wear.
	As for how you were born... let's just say that things were getting too lonely, and a female Dark chao wandered into town one day. .......please, let's just leave it at that. Oh, the day you were made... she screamed so much that day. But, somehow, she must have liked me, otherwise we could not have mated.
	The Nomble... he is not a bad guy. He never was. He just didn't want ANYONE to have to face the Red Metal. Yes, he liked to kill people, but it is because that is the simplest way to leave the city. You know this from experience, do you not?
	Turrican was not hurt when the Red Metal came, and he actually was not even AWARE of the outbreak. You see, he was asleep in his building for the whole few hours. That was long enough for us to get to work, and for me to take him to OMG2, where he resided for a few hundred years. When the system shut down, as you witnessed, I blew that hole open for him to escape. Where is he now, you ask? ...in the next part of the city you have yet to explore. Muahahahahaha.... HAHAHAHAHA..... I expect you to come back soon, son. Once we have fought off the Red Metal once more.
								Your father,
									Wilson Kilburn- your Tour Guide"
[Dark holds back tears]
MS: I'm sorry about your father, Dark. ....uh...... want some ice cream?
Dark: *sniff* Okay.
MS: Well, you ain't gettin' none. C'mon, let's try to find our way back home.
[camera pan of the city]
[the Nomble is still screaming in pain]
[the Red Metal, however, starts to gather into one place]
[a cloaked figure locks it away into a big machine]
Kbn: *chuckle* It'll be okay, Dark... it'll be okay.
[cut to the chao, back in their Gardens]
[they found a teleporter, the same one they used the first time they went to Chao Talk]
Red: Finally, we're back where we belong! In our Gardens...
[the chao go back to their places]
[the Poker Gang stop by the Dark Garden before they leave]
Chapter 66: All's Well that Fares Well.... Right?
MS: Yo, Junior.
SJR: Metal? I thought you guys would be back in the Stardust Eggman by now.
MK: Nah. We wanted to ask you something first.
MS: .....how did we end up in the city?
SJR: What do you mean?
TD: He means, we all just woke up in the city. Before that, we were just chillin' in the Stardust Eggman!
MK: And yet, I didn't wake up there. I found Hero and the girl Shade, and we found some teleporter behind the....
[Mecha stops for a moment]
MS: Where did you say you found it, again?
[cut to the Neutral Garden; everybody is gathered by the waterfall]
Hero: It was behind the waterfall.
[they check inside, and find an empty room]
[empty except for a single pod with the number '47' inscribed on it]
MK: That's it! That's the thing!
SJR: Hmm....... ah, I know what this is. It's a teleporter, supposedly invented by the Chao Talk scientists.
SShade: But, how did it get behind the waterfall?
Kilburn: I put it there.
[everyone turns around, and nobody is there]
MS: Alright.... so... so Dark's fucked-up father came to the Gardens and put it there.
SJR: I get the feeling he put most of you in there overnight, but didn't have time to take the other three.
MS: It's probable. But, the question is.... "Why?"
Dark: He wanted to meet me. That's it! He wanted to finally meet me, but he knew you guys would worry if I wasn't here.
TD: But, what about us? We have nothing to do with you!
MS: Wait. No, I remember. The Doll and I spent the night at Shade's, 'cause we were watching scary movies all night.
TD: Yeah, Mecha was too scared to come with us.
MS: Okay, so that's all that. We've cleared it up.
Shade: Wait. What about that weird Neutral chao who saved us from the Nomble?
MS: Hey, knowing that city, it was probably YOUR father.
[everyone laughs]
[cut to nighttime in the Dark Garden]
[Dark is up, reading the note from his father]
[he reaches into his pocket....area, and pulls out ANOTHER part of the note]

"PS: Keep this part of the note to yourself, Dark. Keep it locked away forever and ever. Only you must know of this, understand?

	The Red Metal possesses my body frequently. ...it made me kill Rakshawl. The Red Metal is one big, living, breathing organism. I am able to resist its pull most of the time, but there are a LOT of times when I will become one with the creature. It reads my thoughts. For a while, I was able to shield the part of my mind about you, but one day, I could not. The substance learned of you, and your location, and made me send you and your friends here. However, it became daytime, and there were only two of you left, so I spared them.

Zero is still alive. The Nomble did not actually kill him. He told me everything. Zero has been... well, I won't talk of what has become of him. Just believe me when I say that you... do NOT... want to know what happened to him.

There is still much of the city you have not seen yet. Much of it. I know you will return, Dark. You, and all your friends. You will return.... AND I WILL KILL YOU (written in blood). (picture of Dark, drawn in blood)"

[Dark cries himself to sleep]
[camera zoom-out to the TV room one last time]
[the MILKMAN returns]
MM: *sigh* I'm back from the city....
JOE: How did you exit?
MM: I followed close behind the chao, but not close enough that I would be seen. But, I witnessed the whole thing...
MSp: With Kilburn?
MM: Indeed. That, my friends, is one of those things that is not meant for mortal eyes.
MSp: Agreed.
MM: Alright, then. I never want to see, OR hear anything about this whole incident ever again.
JOE: I'm with you, man.
MM: *sigh* Another job well done, though. The chao are safe for us to kill them another day.
MSp: Sweet. I'm going off to bed, then. G'night.
[Metal Speedy leaves]
JOE: .....MILKMAN, you saw Dark reading that secret note, didn't you?
MM: Yes. I wish the cameras didn't zoom in THAT close on what he was reading, too...
JOE: Metal Speedy did not see. Shall we tell him?
MM: ....let this be... ours, and Dark's little secret.
JOE: Okay. So, tomorrow, it's back to the job? Back to the plan? Echo will bomb them, and all that?
MM: Yes. *sigh* ...well... let's take the day off, tomorrow. Tell Echo to prolong the bombing for one day.
JOE: Yes, sir. ...I'm signing off now.
MM: Have a good night, JOE.
JOE: You, too, MILKMAN.
[JOE leaves]
MM: You can come out now.
?: ...how did you know I was here?
MM: It was rather obvious, considering the cloak on the coat rack on my way in.
?: I had to get away from that city... they were torturing me. They placed one tiny drop of Red Metal on my finger.
MM: That would explan why your finger is three feet long.
?: Please... you are the only one who can help me.
MM: All right. I shall remove the Red Metal from your body. ...for a favor.
?: What do you wish I do?
MM: Keep quiet for a couple seasons. Return after the Gray Journey.
?: Yes, sir.
MM: Okay, now this is going to hurt for a few seconds.
[the MILKMAN does something unknown to the figure; the figure screams]
?: Ow.... thank you.
MM: Oh, you are quite welcome....
[the MILKMAN begins to leave the room]
MM: .......Zero.
END

Dark Chao Adventures: The Secret City
Story by DJay32
Contents of Chao Talk based on the Sven Co-op map series, "secretcity" and "omg" by Turrican
Name "Chao Talk" from a forum by CodeDragonXL
Most chao belong to/made by DJay32
Dark-Hawk belongs to PaperBowser
Quartz belongs to BlackPhoenix
Phantom belongs to Multichao
Shadow Bonic belongs to Flame
Poker Gang by Sonic Team
Shit like that by whoever made 'em.
The Beta Avengers, including the MILKMAN, JOE, and Metal Speedy were made by DJay32
The Tour Guide was made by DJay32
Wilson Constable Kilburn was made by DJay32, based on a character BY DJay32 who is based on a character by Arthur Conan Doyle
Yaddayaddayadda

THE NEXT EPISODE OF DCA: Episode 38, "Remembering the Battles"