Dark Chao Adventures Episode 8: Take Out One, An' The Rest Avenge 'Em [Invader Zim theme playing, for those of you that have no idea, Dark Garden theme playing] D.C.A. REMASTERED! [text flowing across screen reading stuff like: Dark, Chao, and DUCK! Where? SMASH!] Dark Chao Adventures..... More Comedy! More story, more Chapters! MORE CHAO! The addition of Chaos Chao.... AND the All-new Rebel Chao. Chapter 1: The Calling We start the big episode in.... MetalHead Studios... Zim: So... this is your secret lair? MS: Well, I wouldn't say secret lair, but it is my place to relax! Zim: Uh-huh... and, so... this... "Robotnik" character.... he's on the loose? MS: Yeah, Egghead is kind of a.... nutty-nut. He thinks he's an "Evil genius". MS+Zim: (silence) (Burst out laughing) Zim: Ha... you seem very nice, Metal Sonic. MS: Well, I wouldn't say "nice", per se [pronounced per say for you "huh?" people] but, I am nice to acquaintances! Zim: Oh? Acquaintances? How many? MS: I don't have so many, just 3. Until I met you. Zim: Hang on, I've got to make a call, be right back! [Zim enters communication room] Zim: Hmm... Hyper Metal Sonic may be of some use after all... he's better than Gir. Okay, how to get this thingie running? MS: (shouting to Zim) Just say the coordinates! Zim: (shouting back) Okay! Thanks! (normally) Perfect. Let's see now, 709535.782935.... bingo! [the almighty tallest appear on screen] A.T. red: Hello... oh, hello Zim. A.T. purple: What do you want? Zim: Nothing more than to report that Earth and it's "Earthoids" are ready to be demolished! A.T. red: Oh? Really? Wow, we never thought you'd make it, Zim! Congratulations! We'll send our troops right away! Zim: Gotcha. Oh, and, I've found a robot that's even better than Gir, or the S.I.R. units! (shouting to MS) METAL! GET IN HERE! [MS enters] MS: Yeah? A.T. purple: W-who is this, Zim? Zim: Almighty tallests, meet Hyper Metal Sonic. Metal, meet the almighty tallests! MS: Yo. A.T red: Hi, Zim says that you're advanced. MS: By eons! A.T. red: I see... A.T. purple: Zim, we've got to go. (off screen) NO! Don't touch that button! [boom on screen, static, screen turns off] MS: They seemed tall. Zim: Tall? They're the almighty tallests! MS: Uh-huh... Zim: The Earth will be destroyed! MS: Excellent... [Zim+MS laugh evilly] Chapter 2: An Odd Day In School [in CPAK] DT: (sighs) Okay, squirts, I've got better things to do than teach you guys, so I guess I'll give you guys guns and let you run around and kill yourselves. (to himself) That should keep me entertained for a minute or two... [right before DT gives the first chao a gun...] MS on P.A.: Attention, shrimp-- I-I mean chao, the planet will now be destroyed. Not this planet, though, the other one. Oh, and will Zim please report to the office? Most chao: Ooooooooooh...... Zim: (nervously) The, uh, principal probably, um, wants to, uhhh.... congratulate me! [he goes] DT: Oh, it's Metal.... well, class, I've... got to...... escourt..... Zim to the office. Just play, or something... All chao: (cheer) [on the way to the office] DT: Zim, why does Metal want you? Zim: Well, me and him are acquaintances now. DT: Oh, that's good. We really need another player for our next poker game! Zim: Riiiiiiiiight.... [in the office] MS: Oh, hi Dark Tails. Welcome to the office, both of you. Zim: Whaddya need us for? MS: Well, I've got some good news.... DT+Zim: Yes? MS: We all get to be the supreme dictators of Earth! I had a talk with the two tallests, and they said they wouldn't mind if we ruled the planet! Zim, you can be the assistant ruler... (quietly) at minimum wage.... Zim: Assistant? Under who? MS: ME, of course! [DT+Zim stare at MS] Zim: Excuse me? MS: I shall be the ruler. Zim: Why you? MS: Because robots are always superior to life forms! [Zim pulls MS' right arm off] Zim: Superior? MS: Don't make me rip both of your arms off. DT: (whispering to Zim) Don't. I already lost two arms and a tail to this guy, and it huuuurt. Zim: Then why do you still have them? DT: Who says I do? I used to have 4 arms and 3 tails! Zim: [takes two steps away] MS: Now, if I'm not dictator, then trust me, you will die a slow, painful, bloody death! Zim: Gotcha. Chapter 3: The Invasion, and Wal-Mart! [Orbiting Earth, is some sort of a small asteroid thing] [You see Eggman's ship-thing fly-BAM- through the asteroid, smashing it] Doom's Eye: [he is floating in space] HEY! That fat guy destroyed our home planet! Black Doom: He came from that planet right there! Let's suddenly think that everyone there is a moron, and destroy their planet! Black Arms Army: YEAH!!!! [meanwhile, down in MetalHead Studios...] [montage, with the currently playing music] [Zim screws a nut in with a wrench, which causes the cieling above him, with MS, to collapse on him!] [DT types 'Whichwaytolook? Lookleftthenright,andblowup' on the CPU, Gir, who is somehow on the planet, comes by and types something in, and reveals with a goofy smile, 'Don't get mad, or sad! Get Glad! TACOOOOOS!' DT looks at him cunningly] [MS is about to cut a yellow wire, when Zim runs by and warns him not to. MS is about to cut a red wire, when DT runs by and warns him not to. So, MS cuts the blue wire, and BOOM! DT and Zim have nervous smiles.] [end montage] MS: (sighs) Well, that's that. Zim: Yeah, that was tough! Remind me again, what are we building? DT: Dunno, Metal? MS: [inhales] (silence) I got nothing. Zim: WHAT!? So none of us knew what we were building!? MS: Well, I kinda did. But, then I cut the blue wire..... Dark Tails.... [MS looks at DT, who chuckles nervously] MS: (Yawns) Well, why don't we rest a bit? Zim: Yeah. Good idea. [the next morning...] [rumbling outside the Dark Garden] Shade: Wha? What's going on? Dark: Ya think it's Sonic, trying to run away from Amy again? Shade: Nah, we'd hear Sonic screaming,"WHY DIDN'T I TAKE 'GIRL SATISFACTION' CLASS?!!!!" Dark: Yeah.... then let's find out what it is. [Dark+Shade exit, to find the Rebel chao putting up a poster] Shade: Hey, Rebelly dude! What's with all the racket? Rebel: Didn't you hear? Shade: The only thing I can hear is your loud hammer! Now stop this, or I'm sending all of my Dark chao armies at you! Rebel: But, aliens are invading the Chao World! Shade: (laughing) Aliens-HA! Yeah, right, aliens are invadi.... [Shade turns around to see a Black Arms soldier] ..... oh.... B.A.S: Halt, pathetic chao. You are to be on the planet down there, with the rest of them. Dark: The rest of them? [B.A.S. points to the right, and Chao is slowly walking to the portal to the world, wearing cuffs] Chao: I don't know how, but this is all your falt, Shade. B.A.S: Now, go. You will work in Wal-Mart on the puny planet until we eliminate it. Shade: I can't work in Wal-Mart! Name tags make me look fat! Dark: (chuckling) Shade: Shut up. Chapter 4.1: The Irkens Arrive, and the War Begins Zim: I can't believe this! Those pesky Black Arms... they're ruining everything! MS: I know, I'm not getting paid by the Almighty Tallest if the target's destroyed already! Zim: .... whatever. [the Irkens arrive] Zim: They're here... [A.T. Red walks out, and goes , and so does Purple] A.T. Purple: ..... what's.... going on here, Zim? Zim: (laughs nervously) Well, uh, the Black Arms somehow hate this planet... A.T. Purple: The BLACK ARMS!? How'd they get here!? Those fools always destroy planets before us... MS: (to Zim) You guys know the Black Amrs, too? Zim: Yeah... MS: Well, no matter what, I hate Black Arms, but, you're an Irken!? Zim: Yeah, why? [you can see it coming, can't you?] MS: (acting like when that guy turns into Hulk) I hate Irkens.... they intercept my sattelite, they mess with my programing, they... make... me... ANGRY!!! Zim: Whoa, calm down, Metal Sonic... MS: You made me angry... but not angry enough, I still have my lucky anger-management system! [A B.A.S. shoots MS' Anger management system] MS: (to B.A.S) You made me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry... [MS creates a large energy blast, while screaming, and transforms into the Sonic Heroes Metal Sonic, but with bigger spikes, a longer cape, and the energy field stays around him] MMS: (in deeper voice) Ugly aliens, meet MEGA METAL SONIC!!! [The Tallests slowly retreat to the ship, while MMS kills thousands of Irken and Black Arms soldiers] [The chao arrive, uh-oh] Shade: (grumbling about Wal-Mart) [MMS destroys Wal-Mart] All chao: HURRAY! Shade: I think I'll join the robot dude. [Shade runs off] Chao: .... He's not gonna make it, is he? Dark: Nope. [Shade runs along a long highway, called, "Lethal Highway", and attempts to kick an Irken Soldier, and breaks his leg instead] Shade: ...... (cries) [suddenly stop the music] [DT comes by and notices Shade, and gives him a few rings] Shade: What'll these do? DT: I dunno, but everyone uses them when they're hurt. Shade: Cool! [Shade grabs the rings] [play the music] Shade: Now, to kick their butts! [Shade does that, literally] I.S: OOF! My butt! Chapter 4.2: The G.U.N army, Sonic+friends, and that bad guy from TRON Come, and the War Gets Nasty! [what it says in the name come] Shade: Uh-oh. Shadow: Stay back, Shade. This'll get ugly! [Shadow jumps away] Shade: .....WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM!? [Sonic, Tails, Knux, Amy chasing Sonic, Cream, Big, Charmy, Omega, Eggman, and the rest zip by] Shade: .....WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM!? [The G.U.N army run by] Shade: ..... This is one weird day. Oh well, as long as I miss school, it's fine by me! DT: Oh yeah, that reminds me, since you're not going to Wal-Mart, we're going back to school! Shade: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Shade runs away] Shade: Metal dude, I'm gonna kill you for destroying Wal-- [MMS strangles Shade, while looking away to scan for other life-forms] MMS: Sneak attacks can't hurt me, pathetic, puny mortal. Shade: Y-you'd-d-d strang-g-gle a c-c-ch-h-h-ha-a-a-ao-o-o-o? MMS: So what? There's no law against it, or anything. Shade: (almost suffocated) On the...... con....tr...a...r...y.... [Shade dies] [Dark gasps as he walks away] DT: Now this is entertaining. Um, you (points to a random chao) go get strangled. I want more entertainment. MMS: And DARK TAILS. You're fired. DT: But you didn't even hire me! MMS: I MEAN YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE! Sheesh, isn't it that obvious? [MMS throws Shade's corpse away] Sonic: No way, Metal, this time you've gone too far! MMS: Huh? What'd you say to me, punk? [here's the funny part] Amy: He said that he wants to fight you in Mortal Combat, and that he'd win blindfolded! Sonic: Wh-wha? I-I didn't say that! MMS: I accept your challenge, and you won't be blindfolded. Sonic: Phew! MMS: I'll just rip your eyes out of your head! [Sonic stares angrily at Amy] Amy: (nervously) Well, it seemed like a good idea at first... [MMS breaks the floor, which causes everyone to fall into the sewers below] [Inside Shade's 'dream'] [Shade is standing in front of a large gate] Shade: Huh? Where am I? ???: Shade.... you have been killed.... you are in Hell. Shade: Oh dear. Who are you? ???: I am Black Doom. Shade: WHOA. Didn't see THAT coming. B.D: Actually, I'm not Black Doom, I'm Metal Sonic. Shade: AAAHHH!!! MS: Actually, I'm not Metal Sonic, I'm Bill Nye the Science Guy! Shade: I always hated Bill Nye... BN: Well, (echoing) Now You Know. Shade: And I ALWAYS HATED the "Did You Know That" parts... BN: You have run out of air, and if you run out of air, you'll die. Now, dying isn't fun, when you're dead, you can't do anything fun! Kid out of nowhere: Like play games! Another kid: Or eat ponies! Shade: Or plan diabolical schemes that never work! BN: Exactly. So, Shade, you're gonna learn about: [blue screen comes from above] (slowly) Reincarnation. [Reincarnation appears on the blue screen above] In order to Reincarnate, you must have [blue screen clears itslef] Extra Lives. [Extra Lives appears on the blue screen] Shade: What will "Extra Lives" DO? BN: Well, extra lives let you reincarnate! Let's review, what do extra lives do? Shade: Uh.... reincarnate? BN: Exactly. Shade: Wow, I'm finally understanding what Bill Nye really is about! So, where can I find these so-called,"Extra Lives"? BN: You can find them in... [blue screen clears itself] The depts of Superman. Shade: I don't want to pay Superman's depts! BN: It's the only way to get extra lives! Shade: Whatever, I'm outta here! [Shade jumps away, BN stares at the screen, and then dances to the Bill Nye theme] [on Earth, in the pit that MMS made...] [MMS is killing everyone] Shade: ........ what'd I miss? Dark: (weakly) Yay... Shade's alive! MMS: What? You're ALIVE!? Well, not for long! Shade: Bring it on, Metal head! Chapter 5: Metal Sonic Defeated, A.R.K and Chao World In Danger! [in the sewers...] MMS: You stand no chance against me, puny Dark chao! Shade: .... Sonic: Amy, he doesn't stand a chance! Amy: Whaddya tellin' me for? Sonic: We've got to do something! Amy: We could go home, get undressed and-- Sonic: I'm just running away. [Sonic runs off] [everyone steps away from Amy] Eggman: GO METAL! [everyone stares at Eggman] Eggman: I'm only cheering so that he doesn't slaughter me when he wins... [back to the fight...] [Shade punches MMS, and actually leaves a large dent!] MMS: Ow.... whathe? How did you... Shade: Shut up and fight, Metal Head! MMS: Okay! [MMS kicks Shade, which sends him flying, and he crashes into a large building] Shade: Oof... huh? [Shade looks up, and notices a meteor falling down] Shade: WHAAAH! A METEOR!!! MMS: What? !?!?!!??!!?!??!!!!!???? [MMS runs around like an idiot, then trips] MMS: Ouch. [everyone runs in fear] Shade: So..... I guess I win? MMS: This fight isn't over yet.... [large chunk of debris slams MMS straight into the ground] MMS: (muffled) Congratulations, you win. Shade: ALRIGHT! Let's go home, guys! [all chao cheer] [Chao News is on] NC: BREAKING NEWS! THERE'S A METEOR! AND IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!!!! [Dark turns the T.V. off] Dark: We're all dead.... Shade: Yeah, and it's not fun being dead! (remembers Bill Nye) Shadow(theactualshadow): It's not a meteor. Allchao: IT'S NOT!? Shadow: No, it's the Space Colony A.R.K. And I don't feel a bit scared. (sucks thumb) Shade: Gather round, everyone, I have a plan... Chapter 6: Getting Aboard The ARK [In the Marble Garden...] Shade: (on radio) Dark, you in the Marble Garden yet? Dark: "Afefyefofum", Shade. (Affirmative) Shade: Excellent, continue on, [Dark moves on] But, be careful of the-- [smash!!] -- spiked.... ball... trap... Dark: I can't feel my face! Chao: (sighs) Don't worry, Shade, I'm, still here as a replacement, remember? Shade: Yes, YES, I remember! Now go! Chao: Okay, I've come across a strange... red liquid, what is it? Shade: Red liquid... oh yeah! That's molten magma, whatever you do, don't-- [sizzle] -- step.... in... it... Chao: I can't feel my legs! Shade: Drat, that's everyone. Luckily, I have a Plan B! [meanwhile, in The Carnival Night...] Shadow: Okay, Shade, I'm in position. Whado I do again? Shade: (on radio) I told you! You're the bait for the giant guard robot! Shadow: Okay, that sounds goo-- SAY WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!??!!? Shade: Yes, "bait". Prepare to die, though! Shadow: [notices guard robot] (twitching) Shade, I'm gonna get you for this... [smash, Shadow screams] Shade: Good, now, Shadow, go! Shadow(chao): Okay! [Shadow runs forward] Shade: Remember, Shadow, be careful of the "Night Show", if you watch it, you'll be stuck in the dark FOREVER! Shadow: But I'm scared of da dark! [lights go out] Shadow: Mommy... Shade: Oh, great... now for Plan C... [meanwhile, on Ice Cap Mountain...] Sonic: 'Kay, Shade, I can see the ARK from here. Shade: (right next to Sonic) Good, I can too. Quickly, the Launch Base for Eggman's latest invention is this way! [Sonic and Shade run off] Sonic: Shade, ya gettin' tired or something? Shade: (panting) No... I'm.... alright.... [faints] Sonic: ... good thing I brought the snowboards. [later...] Chapter 7: Launch Base Zone Act 2, ARK Crash Time: 3 Minutes Shade: Huh? What? Sonic: Good, you're awake. I had to snowboard with you on my back. Shade: Aw, man! I miss all of the fun!!! Sonic: Well, we're here, anyway. Eggman: Hello, please, this way. [they go that way] Eggman: Behold, my latest invention: The Death Egg III! Shade: Death Egg 3? What happened to D.E's 2 and 1? Eggman: Sonic destroyed them both. Anyway, this can take us to the ARK! [piece of debris falls down and smashes the Death Egg 3 to bits] Eggman: Then again, it did only take me 5 minutes to make it.... [Sonic+Shade do that anime fall over thing] Shade: Oh, no! The ARK's gonna crash in 30 seconds! Sonic: I guess I'll go Super and stop it! [long sequence happens, which takes up 25 seconds] SS: I AM NOW SUPER SON-- [ARK crashes, which only leaves a small crater] SS: --nic? It wasn't even a threat! Shade: Well, that was pointless. See ya, guys! [Shade walks away] SS: Well, I guess I'll just beat Eggman up for fun. Eggman: Oh, no you won't! I don't need an invention to stop you! SS: Huh? [Eggman steps to the side, revealing Amy] SS: I'll just quietly float away... [Amy looks at Eggman, Eggman nods, Amy charges at Sonic, dives at him, and now Sonic is going to live the worst life ever!] Sonic: (screams) CURSE YOU EGGMAN!!!!!!! THE END!