Part two of two-part serial, "Television"

[Shade gathers all the freelance chao (NEW NAME FOR THIRD-PARTY)]
Shade: Listen, guys..... I need to apologize for getting us that TV. TV is bad for the soul.
[pause]
Ade: Do you really mean that, Shade?
Shade: No. Now, c'mon, let's see what the Heroes did with our TV.
[cut to the Hero Garden; the Heroes are watching the TV]
Shade: HEY! Give us back our idiot box!
Chao: ..........no.
Shade: Wh.... wh..... what? "No?" Dark Army, REGROUP! Out in the Lobby!
[huddle]
Shade: It looks like the enemy does not want to give us back our treasure. So, what will we do?
Ade: ....kindly ask for it back?
Shade: NO! We fight for it. You ready?
SB: Shade, you seriously must take a breather. It's just a TV.
Shade: "Just a TV?" "JUST A TV?!" Shadow Bonic, it's my PLASMA SCREEN TV! I had to pay, like, a JILLION rings for that thing! This isn't just a battle.....

Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 14: Television part two: This is a War-Like Event!

[cut to the huddled-up squadron of chao]
Shade: So, here's the plan.

Shadow Bonic, you will fight Hero, and take out their supply trains.
Angel Chao or whatever, you will fight Tail, and capture their transportation.
Flame, you will fight Speedy, and take the communication tower.
Ade, since you are new, you will take Aqua, and try to break down their fourth wall of defense.
Anybody else will fight the oncoming onslaught of Hero soldiers who appeared out of nowhere.
I will try to fight Chao, and make story things happen.

Shade: This is the classic definition of War of the Gardens. Now, let's get in there and show them some pure Dark mission stuff!


All the Chaos nooded, and they ran to fight to they respective objectives. Ade ran to Aqua.

Ade: Give me your best shot!

Aqua took the Hero Garden small ball and threw it to Ade's face. 

Ade: You're joking, right?

Ade jumped into aqua, and from his "invisible" pocket he had some ropes, and attached them to Aqua.

Ade: Now, to break that defense wall.


(Solar joins)


Shade: Uh... welcome to the army, Solar! I just gotta remind you that, in case anybody's curious, Metal Sonic is NOT made of metal. I do believe he is made of pure monocoque titanium. How do I know this? Well.... I just do.
Dark: He means he found Metal's operations manual.
Shade: Shut up! Anyway, so if we ever run into Metal, you can't just BITE him to death.
Solar: I see. So, what is my objective?
Shade: Well, soldier, since you just joined, I'll start you off EASY.
[Shade pulls out a map of the Hero Garden, and points at the fountain behind the pool]
Shade: Reports show that this fountain opposite the pool is Chao's "hangout."
Dark: Serious reports.
Shade: However, I'm gonna be too busy fighting Chao to investigate it.
Solar: You want me to wait until you've drawn Chao out of the fountain, then go in there and search it?
Shade: I want you to scan every nook, cranny, and Nook's Cranny. Leave no section behind!
Solar: Roger that. Anything in particular to look for?
Shade: A little, blue envelope.
Solar: A little, blue envelope?
Shade: A little, blue envelope.
Solar: So.... a little, blue envelope.
Shade: An envelope that is blue and little.
Solar: Gotcha.
Shade: I'll draw Chao out of the fountain, and fight him. Let's go!

[cut to Shade walking past all the little brawls and melees happening all over; he approaches the fountain behind the pool]
[Solar is slowly following him, staying low]
[Chao is sitting in a meditating position-majigger, facing the wall]
[Shade steps forward]
Chao: Shade. What is the meaning of this?
Shade: We want our television back.
Chao: Your television? I'm sorry, Shade, but I have confiscated it for the time being.
Shade: ...get up and say that to my face.
[Chao gets up, and says it to his face]
Shade: That's what I THOUGHT you said.
Chao: So, let's see you actually DO something for once, Shade.
Shade: ....mmkay. *PUNCH!*
[Shade and Chao engage in a fistfight; Shade quickly looks at Solar, signalling him to go]


Ade was looking at Shade fighting with Chao, when Chao gave Shade a punch..

Ade: OW! I should go to help him! *thinks* (Wait, Shade likes to fight alone, should I leave him alone? *takes DCA Season 1* (Well, I shouldn't mess with him..I should go and break down that defence wall...)


SOLAR:finds the littile blue envlope. all heros takle him but miss and the battle begens:solar:atacks with BEGONE YA FOOL. ALL HEROS EXEPT CHAO:*FAINT*solar:well tat was easey.*takes letter to dark.* *eggman appears and atacks, but is promptly bitten to death by solar.* solar:ive always wanted to do that. shade:sees the remains of eggnmans craft with LOTS of bite marks.
woah. 


[Shade is knocked into a wall]
Ade: Shade!
Shade: Ugh.... yeah?
Ade: What's the fourth wall defense?
Shade: It's just a wall with some Hero Guards on it. I think Chao named it "Fourth Wall Defense" as a slight pun.
Chao: Yes, that is correct. It was intended to be a pun.
Ade: Oh. And how do I do what I do?
Shade: You simply defeat any guards up there, and open this random gate that is blocking our random army from invading this Garden.
Ade: Uh..... copy that.
[Shade gets back up, and resumes fighting]
Solar: Shade, sir! I got the little, blue--
Shade: Shhh!!! Hang on.
[Shade shoves Chao into the pool, then throws a giant statue of Superman at him]
Shade: So, you got it?
Solar: Um, yes, sir.
[Shade grabs the envelope]
Shade: Excellent. Now, the only thing left for us to do is find where they hid our TV. ...and fight off the randomly endless random hordes of random Hero soldiers.
Solar: You want me to do that?
Shade: Affirmative. Go fight off the endless hordes. I'll search for the TV.
Solar: But, what about Chao?
Shade: Dude, he's underwater with a huge statue of Superman above him.
Solar: Oh. Right.
Shade: Just go do your orderly stuff. Go fight.
Solar: Sir, yes, SIR!
[Solar joins the huge fight while Shade checks everything for the missing television]


Shadow Bonic, you will fight Hero, and take out their supply trains.
Angel Chao or whatever, you will fight Tail, and capture their transportation.
Flame, you will fight Speedy, and take the communication tower.

-SB looks up at the words above him-
SB: I can do that! Hey Hero!
Hero: Hm?
SB: Your owner wears army boots!
Hero: Nyah Nyah! My Chao owner is a guy!
SB: oops! what I meant to say is... get ready for a surprise, now close your eyes
Hero: Okay
-Hero shuts his eyes closed-
SB: And your surprise is...A SLEEP GRENADE
-Hero opens his eyes and looks at the grenade, then at Shadow Bonic-
Hero: You do know that you forgot your gas mask right? so we're both going to fall asleep.
-you see that Shadow Bonic was a Cardboard box like thing and it tips over-
Hero: Snap...
-the grenade explodes and Hero Falls into a deep...DEEP, sleep-
SB: Mission accomplished!
A. Chao: That means I'm next right? -looks up at text-
AC: Steal their mode of Transportation huh?
Tail: YOU'LL NEVER GET IT
AC: Why's that?
Tail: Because I can fly and you will be distracted!
-Tail starts to fly up like Tails-
AC: Does he really think I'll be- Ooooh! do it again!
Tail: Okay!
-Tail does it again. except this time...-
AC: I stole the transportation!
Tail: What? I thought you were dazzled
AC: I was dazzled that you were so stupid as to allow me to get past you with no effort
Tail: Crap...
Flame: And I'm up last right? -looks at text along with them-
Flame: Speedy?!
Speedy: you are never faster than me!
Flame: Do we have to fight over speed like the main Sonic characters?
Speedy: YES!
Flame: Why do I have a feeling that he's going to regret this?
-They start to race-
Flame: Come on, you can't defeat me
Speedy: Oh yeah? Cheap Stamina Boost!
Flame: No way! I'll just use a power boost
-Flame Punches Speedy in the Face SO hard that he falls over and scrapes his face-
Flame: Next time, don't challenge me ever again! Got the uh...
-Flame Looks up at the text at the top...-
Flame: I got the communications Tower under my control...I think 


solar:CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP *METAL IS RUNNING AROUND WITH SOLAR HANGIN ON TO HIS TAIL WITH HIS TEETH METAL IS BEATING UP HEROS.* about 100 heros go flyin and land on tail.well,THAT WAS EASY. solar:grabs a door with his teeth and rips it off its hinges;comes out with a sub-machine gun and lots of ammo;RATATTATTAT
! tears off the door that is blocking the army from entering;ade was knoked out


(Ivan joins)


Shade: Welcome, Ivan. You can, uh... lessee....
[Shade finds a single post-it]
Shade: Read this post-it note to me.
Ivan: "Chao,
Thank you for selling us your awesome TV. It's sweet.
Maybe some day you could come on over and play some poker with us?
Murderously yours,
Metal Sonic and his Poker Buddies"

Shade: CRAP!
Ade: What? Who's "Metal Sonic and his Poker Buddies?"
Shade: Metal Sonic's Poker Buddies are fan names for Metal/Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll, from Sonic R.
[lightning crash]
[horses neigh]
Dark: But... how will we ever get our TV back? Metal has it!
Shade: We're gonna have to go into the Stardust Speedway Eggman Statue, or "Stardust Eggman," and fish it out ourselves!

[cut to Stardust Speedway Round, Zone 2]
[or, for those who have never played Sonic CD, Stardust Speedway Zone, Act 2]
[the chao are standing in front of a large, golden statue of Eggman]
Shade: Inside the Stardust Eggman is a series of rooms. Metal likes to hold weekly poker tournaments every Thursday at 8 with Mecha and the Tails Doll.
Flame: What shall WE do, sir?
Shade: I'll TELL you what you can do.

We're gonna sneak in there and steal the TV.
Ivan, find us a way inside. Not the front door, though, 'cause they'll see us. Make it something sneaky.
Flame, disable any security systems.
A. Chao, you will be our scout. After we get in, you will search the building until you find the TV, and then come back to us and let us know where it is.
Shadow Bonic, you will provide us with a distraction in case somebody sees us.
Ade, act like Hansel and Gretel and try to find some way to remember how we get in so we can get out easily. It's like a maze in there.
Solar, we need you to be the brawns, and carry the TV.
I will be the lookout, and let you know if somebody's coming. I'll also move the story along.

Get going! 


Flame, disable any security systems.
A. Chao, you will be our scout. After we get in, you will search the building until you find the TV, and then come back to us and let us know where it is.
Shadow Bonic, you will provide us with a distraction in case somebody sees us.

Flame: I'm First this Time, YES!!!
Angel Chao: I'm second, cool
Shadow Bonic: and I'm a distraction, I LOVE BEING A DISTRACTION!!!
Flame: Time to disable the Security
-you start to hear Metal Gear Solid Music-
Flame: Okay, time to disable the Security...OH CRAP!

Flame: Let's see here...Do I pull Out this red one?
-All lights go Out-
MS: Hey guys, was that a power outage
TD: Don't worry, It's nothing
Flame: alright, in you go
-The lights go back on-
Flame: Maybe this blue one?
-All gravity turns off-
MS: Watch it fix itself
-Flame Plugs it back in-
MS: See?
TD: I'd say that someone was-
MK: Don't be ridiculous
Flame: Well duh! It was this one all Along
-Flame Takes out some Electric Proof Scissors-
Flame: Time to get Cutting!
-Flame Cut's the one on the very Right-

TD: Did the Security just go off?
MS: Tails Doll-
-Lighting Strikes-
-you hear a horse Neigh-
MS: stop being such a worry wart
MK: Yeah!
A. Chao: Now I can go!
-A. Chao starts sneaking through the Vents-
AC: not here, no, uh uh...
-You see Metal Sonic, Tails Doll, and Mecha Knux playing Poker-
TD: Did you guys hear that?
MS: We just talked about this!
TD: Whatever!
AC: ...
-Angel Chao Continues to crawl through the vents-
AC: Still no...you've got to be kidding me!
-You see through the Vent Angel Chao is looking through
AC: The TV is in the Bathroom! Shade, the TV is IN the Bathroom, I repeat, in the Bathroom
Shade: you've got to be kidding me...
-Camera goes over to Shadow Bonic-
SB: I'm bored... So so Bored... Can't wait to be a distraction... 


solar:grabs tails doll;uses him as a club and beats up metal and mecha,then takes the tv and takes it back out.mecha appears;solar:TURNS INTO A JAWS CHAO AND KILLS MECHA. 


Ade: Alright...Just let me stay here for a while so I can remember some stuff...


(So, how to remember this? It's all clean...Wait, I've found...a peice of Dark fur..)

MS: YOU CHEATER! I'LL LEAVE YOU ALL BALD!

DT: B-but I didn't cheat! You just think that you're the best player of Poker of the world

MS: I am! STAND STILL!

(screams)

Ade: O_oU



Okay, I should've made this clearer.

- There are certain characters that you cannot/are impossible to kill. Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, and the Tails Doll are excellent examples.
- If you kill them, you get a TIME PARADOX, courtesy of Metal Gear Solid 3.
- If you get a TIME PARADOX, everything that you just did ends up as a dream, and you wake up right before your decision to kill them.
- There is also such a thing as just plain a PARADOX.
- To get a PARADOX, you must do the impossible, like ATTEMPT TO FIGHT METAL SONIC, MECHA KNUCKLES, or the TAILS DOLL.
Shade: Did you forget that we're CHAO? Smart chao, mind you, but that doesn't mean you can go around attempting to fight battles you can't win. Chao can't beat all three of those guys all by themselves!
Solar: What are you talking about? I just did.
Shade: You were asleep.
Solar: But it seemed so real--
Shade: YOU WERE ASLEEP!


So....
[Solar wakes up outside the Stardust Eggman]

Sorry, but I gotta put in SOME rules. I'll try not to put in TOO MANY of them. You can be as crazy as you want, as long as it doesn't go too far from the mission. 


MS: And DT, if you say one word, I'll kill you.

DT: (All bald) I'm going to the bathroom, I can't beleive you manage that way your weapons!

Ade: Dang! Everyone! Crouch!

Shade: You're not the leader...EVERYONE CROUCH! 


SB: Yes... just being a distraction...yep. Nothing to do but distract people, I'm very entertained...
Silver: SB, what are you doing?
SB: Waiting to be a distraction...
Silver: Right...
Sonic: Can we help?
SB: NO!!! this is my mission
Sonic: Geez, okay okay... 


solar:sets off fire alarm;sets off regurgirating toliet while metal wuz uzing it(it does the oppisite when u flush it so say tat u flush it,it goes up not down) otherwize bein a nusince.
metal:catches him.
solar:bites metals hand,HARD.
metal:holds up hand;it has some big scratches on it.
while metal was takeing a painkiller solar was getting out of the stardust eggman. 
BACK IN DARK GARDEN:
solar:i got it.
shade:wheres metal? 
solar:takeing some pain killers. 
shade: what happend?
solar:well letz just say,his hand is VERY SORE.
shade:oh.
SOLAR WAS NOT FIGHTING HIM,HE WAS ESCAPING. 
p.s.solars alternent diminson counterpart is lunar.


Um.... okay, apparently you got the TV back. Good.

Shade: Sweet, we got it back!
[Shade turns it on; a Halo 3 commerical is on]
[Shade turns it off]
Shade: Okay, that was a waste of time. End mission, please.
SEE YOU NEXT MISSION