Shade: The Atlantic ocean river place, two years ago. We recieved intelligence that a new type of nuclear weapon was on a tanker (boat) going through New York, into the Atlantic ocean. The whole thing stank, but our noses had been covered in Rock Band for too long. 


[cut to a rainy bridge at night; cars are driving across it]
DJay32 presents...
[you can see a man in a dark raincoat slowly walking across the bridge]
Another new adventure...
[the man grabs a cigarette from his mouth, and tosses it away]
in the world...
[a big boat is seen going under the bridge]
of Dark Chao.
[the man quickly starts running, and jumps off the bridge]
[he lands on the back of the top of the ship, behind some crates]
[however, his raincoat fell off as he jumped, revealing a gray Dark chao (some stilts also fell off)]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
[BEEP BEEP!] (this means that Shade is contacting somebody through the nanomachines in his ear, or his Codec)
Shade: This is Shade. Kept ya waiting, huh?
Tails: Yes, you certainly did. So,--
Shade: Wait. Is that... Steely Dan I hear? ...Bodhisattva?
Tails: ..I'm.... listening to it, yes. Anyway, did you land on the right tanker this time?
Shade: Of course I did! I don't make the same mistake three times, Otacon.
Tails: I'm Mister Prower.
Shade: Oh, yeah. Can I just call you, "Otakitsune?"
Tails: How about, "Otakit?"
Shade: Okay, Otakit. But, yeah, I landed on the right tanker. So, what's my mission, again? I forget easily.
Tails: *sigh* We recieved an anonymous tip that a new type of nuke was being transferred on that ship.
Shade: Well, I didn't see anything when I was jumping on.
Tails: That's because, according to my calculations, it should be down in the cargo holds.
Shade: Ah. So, can I just knock on the door and ask them to let me in?
Tails: What do YOU think?
Shade: ....okay. Sorry.
Tails: You should be able to get in just by walking, though.
Shade: And then what? Destroy it?
Tails: NO! That ship is being run by the Marine Corps, Shade. You can't just destroy it.
Shade: Then what SHOULD I do?
Tails: You just need to get visual confirmation of the existance of this nuclear weapon.
Shade: So, I need to take a picture of it?
Tails: Exactly.
Shade: But, wait. Everyone knows the Marine has nukes. What's so special about THIS one?
Tails: Oh, EVERYTHING'S special about this one. Just go get it.
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!] (this means that the call is over)
[Shade gets up from behind the crates, and starts moving towards one of the doors into the ship]
[Shade enters the door and hears a thud]
Chapter 1: Russian Roullette
Shade: This is a big tanker. I wonder who those people who hijacked the boat are, though...
[Shade goes around a corner, and encounters an enemy soldier]
Soldier: Bah!
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
[Shade then calls Tails, BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Yep?
Shade: They're Russians.
Tails: Russians?
Shade: Russians.
Tails: Okay. What about Russians?
Shade: They're hijacked the boat.
Tails: WHAT?! This changes everything!
Shade: Why? How does this change everything?
Tails: Shade, if these Russians take full control of the ship, they'll get the nuke!
Shade: ...and?
Tails: *sigh* Just keep going. You need to get to the control room, which should be at the top of the ship.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads up some stairs]
[he's about to walk around a corner when..]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Careful, Shade!
Shade: I see them. Semtex (mines) on the walls.
Tails: There are lasers across the hall. Trip them, and--
Shade: --the Semtex will go off, along with the rest of the ship.
Tails: Right. The lasers are invisible to the naked eye, but you could use the USUAL method of seeing them.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: ..."usual" method? WHAT usual method? ARGH! I hate it when people are vague.
[Shade shoots in all directions; one bullet hits a fire extinguisher, which causes the weird white stuff to pour out]
Shade: Oops.
[the stuff reveals lasers]
Shade: Oh, THAT "usual" method.
[a soldier heard the noise, and came to check the situation]
Soldier: AH! Intruder!
[the soldier pulls out his radio]
Soldier: There's an intruder on level--
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
Radio: *static* On level what? Level WHAT?!
Shade: ....uh... level 1.
Radio: Oh. Thanks. We'll send a squad there instantly. *radio off*
Shade: Heh. Suckers.
[Shade realizes HE'S on level 1]
Shade: .....whoops.
[the squad gets there instantly]
Soldier1: So, where's that intruder?
Shade: Um... he's in here.
Soldier2: Thanks. C'mon, let's go!
[the squad runs into the next room]
Soldier1: Hey, what's the deal? Nobody's in here!
Soldier3: Yeah! And there's only that one door.
[Shade walks in; budda budda budda; Shade walks out, covered in blood]
Shade: That takes care of THAT.
[Shade keeps going upstairs]
[eventually, he reaches the control room]
Shade: Now, where's this tanker headed?
[he looks at a computer]
Shade: Hmm... that's not right.
[he sees someone walking around out on the deck; he sneaks out to see what's going on]
Chapter 2: Viva la Revolution!
[it's a soldier talking on a radio]
Soldier: But, father, you MUST let me stay! I want to fight!
Radio: No, Shade! This mission is too much for you. You must go home.
Shade?: C'mon! I want to kill some people! I was born to kill.
Radio: "No" means "NO!" I'm sending a chopper for you. Over and out.
[Shade? tosses the radio overboard]
[a helicopter flies by; Shade? waves at it to go away; it flies away]
Shade: Nice name. It happens to be mine.
Shade?: What? Oh, Shade, it's you.
[Shade? takes off his/her cap, revealing the female Shade (also referred to as She-Shade)]
SShade: It's good to see a friendly face amidst all this craziness.
Shade: Who were you-- I mean, TO WHOM were you talking?
SShade: My father. He just happens to be the squad leader in this invasion of ours.
Shade: You mean... your father's the reason the Russians are invading this ship?
SShade: We're not invading it for the reasons you think, Shade.
Shade: Then for WHAT reason ARE you invading?
SShade: I.... I am not at liberty to say.
Shade: What do you mean? For whom are you working?
SShade: I told you; my father is in charge of this invasion.
Shade: But that's not my question. For whom are you working?
SShade: I..I..... no, I can't tell you.
Shade: Yes, you CAN! Tell me!
SShade: Enough! If you won't stop asking, I won't stop shooting!
[the screen flashes white; cut to Shade and SShade fighting with exciting music in the background]
[SShade shoots at him, then dives behind cover]
SShade: (while reloading) This invasion is not against the Marines, Shade. It is for the nuke.
Shade: What do you mean? The Russians already have TONS of nukes!
SShade: He hasn't told you, has he? That infernal teacher of yours. (finishes reloading) Ah, here we go. Eat lead!
[SShade resumes shooting]
Shade: Fine. If you don't want to tell me...
[Shade shoots the gun out of SShade's hands]
Shade: ...you don't have to. I'll just have to shoot you off the ship. No hard feelings.
[Shade shoots her; she falls off the ship]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit. Tell me more about this mission.
Tails: *sigh* Fine. I suppose you deserve to know. The nuke after which you are going is not just ANY nuke...
Shade: ...no way.
Tails: Indeed. It is Metal Gear. But, not just ANY Metal Gear. The newest model: Metal Gear Eeksuu.
Shade: Metal Gear X?
Tails: Yes. Designed to swipe the floor with the other models.
Shade: So, I have to destroy it?
Tails: Not at all. You simply have to obtain photographic evidence that such a model exists.
Shade: ..I have to take pictures of it?
Tails: Precisely. This way, we can prove to the world that the Marines are making a brand new--
[whirrrrr]
Tails: Um... what's that noise?
Shade: !!! Cypher.
Tails: A Cypher?
Shade: Yeah. First the Marines, then the Russians, then SShade's father, now the Army?
Tails: What is going on here? ...Shade, where is that ship headed?
Shade: Uh.. after checking, I've found that it's going to the middle of the ocean.
Tails: The middle of the.... of course. Metal Gear Eeksuu is done, and they just have to test it. I should have known!
Shade: Wait, WHAT?
Tails: Metal Gear Eeksuu is rumoured to be an amphibious model. One much more agile that its earlier models.
Shade: *sigh* This won't end well.
Tails: Shade, according to my calculations, Metal Gear should be in the holds beneath the ship. Go now!
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads down to the holds]
Chapter 3: Seven Minutes
[Shade is beneath the ship, looking for the right entrance to the holds]
[he finds it, but some soldiers exit the door, and spot him]
Soldier: *gasp* Get the intruder!
[after a short fight, Shade enters the door]
[a few seconds pass; another soldier goes up to the door, and accesses his radio]
Soldier: Sir, he's gone in.
Radio: (a familiar voice) Excellent. I see that things are proceeding as planned...
Soldier: Um... sir, what, exactly, should I do now?
Radio: Wait a second. I'm right next to you.
Soldier: What are you doing down here, Lev--
[BANG! The camera shows nothing but the soldier falling to the ground, bullet through his head, as a cloaked figure locks the door]
?: That's right, Shade. You're nearly done. Heh heh heh..... ha ha ha ha ha.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
[cut to Shade on a catwalk above a giant group of at least a hundred soldiers, watching a large screen in front of them]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit. What's up with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there?
Tails: The Marine commander is giving a speech two holds away from you. He's keeping the Marines occupied.
Shade: Ah. So, how long is this speech?
Tails: I hacked into the files, and took a look. It should take approximately seven minutes. Maybe longer, if he tells jokes.
Shade: I see. I guess I'd better get a move on.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade quietly sneaks ahead, and is careful not to draw any attention to himself]
[the marines are too busy watching the screen to really care, though]
[after a while, he makes it to a vent, and crawls under the marines... and... stuff]
[he makes it through a bunch of rooms filled with the marines and whatnot]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit?
Tails: Yes?
Shade: Is... DJay getting bored, or something?
Tails: I hope not, 'cause this gam--MISSION has barely even started!
[a large GROAAAAAAN is heard in the background]
[pause]
["Sorry, sorry, I'll get back to typing..."]
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade leaves a vent, and stretches his legs for a bit]
Shade: Ugh, it's so boring with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there! I'm gonna freaking fall asleep at this rate!
[Shade spots a projector that is displaying the speech]
Shade: Hmmm....
[cut to the marines, focusing on the TV, listening to every word of the speech]
[suddenly, the screen switches to "David Bowie, LIVE IN CONCERT!"]
[the marines start cheering]
Shade: That's MUCH better!
[instead of sneaking past the focused marines, Shade dances past the rave party]
[eventually, he's made it to the main room]
[the camera dramatically pans, showing Metal Gear Eeksuu, and the marine commander standing in front of it, giving the speech to a roomful of marines]
[Shade carefully and quietly sneaks past the marines, and is approaching a nice hiding place...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
[everyone looks at Shade]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Uh.... heh heh.....
[BEEP BEEP!]
[the marines are still staring at him]
Shade: Um...
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: I.. I gotta take this.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it?! This had better be important!
Tails: Remember, Shade, you have to get photographic evidence of Met--
Shade: Otakit, everyone is staring at me!
Tails: Well... I was just reminding you.
Shade: I KNOW WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[everyone's still staring at him]
Shade: Um.... sorry about that, everyone!
Chapter 4: Shade Dies in This Chapter
[someone is slowly clapping]
[everyone turns to look at the new person]
[it is a cloaked man]
Shade: Man, if we didn't already have enough of those...
[the man is up on stage, in front of Metal Gear, next to the commander]
Man: Bravo, bravo... this is one impressive military.
Commander: The best in the nation! Who are you?
Man: I am Levity Nite... and I have come to take Eeksuu back.
[a bunch of Russian soldiers drop down on SWAT-team-esque wires, and surround everyone]
[also, a chao enters the room, wearing a big Russian coat... and stuff]
[he's SShade's father]
Nite: Sham, how nice of you to come!
Shade: ......"Sham?"
[so I couldn't think of a good name, so what?]
Sham: Ah, I wouldn't miss the taking back of Eeksuu for the world! Mother Russia will rise again!
Commander: Now, who the hell are YOU?
Sham: I am Sham, leader of the Russian army, chao division! I was born in a log cabin in 1938, and abducted by you Americans during the Cold War! I was forced to fight, forced to shoot, lived to win, and bred to murder. Eventually, I escaped the American prison and returned home, only to find my parents dead.
Commander: I see. Is there a point to this sad story?
Sham: The point is, while I was in the prison, I heard tale of the American scumbags plotting to steal our technology!
[Sham points at Metal Gear]
Sham: Eeksuu is our own, original invention, and you stole it from us! So now Levity Nite and I are going to take it back!
Nite: I'm sorry to say this, Sham, but I have no intention of giving Eeksuu to Russia.
Sham: Wh..WHAT?! Are you betraying Mother Russia?
Nite: I am not loyal to that country anymore, Sham. I'm taking Metal Gear back... to the Patriots.
Commander: The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?!
Nite: Yes... I think you'll find the Patriots would be more than happy to have Eeksuu back.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Um! Crap! Uh... just continue on with your discussion, everyone! I gotta take this!
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it now?
Tails: Shade, I'm pretty sure Levity Nite is supposed to, uh... do something right about now.
Shade: What, take Eeksuu back?
Tails: No, his arm is supposed to......... ah, it doesn't matter.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: Sorry about that. Carry on.
Nite: ....yes, well, um... I'm taking it back now. Okay? You can't stop me.
Sham: ............I'm sorry, what? I'm really senile...
Nite: *groan* WAKE UP, DJAY!
[WHOA, what, where, who, why, what? I'm awake! I'm awake!]
Sham: Levity, you can't do this! I'll have to stop you!
Nite: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Star Fox. ...erm, Sham.
[Levity shoots Sham; Sham dies]
[he then jumps up really high, and enters Eeksuu's cockpit]
Nite: Farewell, knuckleheads! ...everyone!
[Levity controls Metal Gear, and makes it jump through the ceiling]
[the tanker shakes and crashes, and floods with water]
Shade: OH SHIZZLE!
[Shade tries to swim away]
[he sees everybody drowning around him, and continues desperately trying not to die]
[the surface is still so far away!]
Shade: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!
[the screen fades to black]
Tails: Shade? SHADE?! SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE?!
[the following paragraph appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work really hard to make the atomic bomb... all those calculations. All those friends cheering them on! All those girls cheering them on, too! YAY, girls! I feel like those scientists right about now. I'm sure that, when this eppy is released to the public, it will drop a HUUUUUUUGE bombshell on people. This is one revealing episode. ..at least I have friends (and girls) who encourage me to... well... okay, nobody encourages me to make this. Not DIRECTLY, anyway. But, they cheer me up... well, the girls do. They always give me something to li-- um... something for which to live. Never end a sentence in a preposition! ..is 'for' a preposition? ...actually, if it is, it should be 'something for WHOM--' no, 'someONE for whom to live.' Yeah. Girls give me someone for whom to live. Maybe I should re-do this paragraph. ......nah. I'll keep rambling. Anyway, those girls... always making me feel happy... making me feel loved... wanted.......... wait, I don't remember them making me feel wante-- OH, YEAH. Man, I suck at this. Guess I haven't worked on DCA for so long... a few months can do a lot to a person. Especially a guy like me, who depends on so much attention... um... I'll wrap this up."
[the paragraph fades out]
[the following appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work hard with many calculations and grievances to make the atomic bomb... only to end up making a huge sacrifice. I feel a lot like them. This episode will make a huge sacrifice. It will drop a bombshell on people. Including me. Enjoy." -DJay32
[cut to a camera pan of a bridge]
[Eggman's voice-over can be heard talking to someone]
(Note: all VO)
Egg: Shade, do you remember the tanker incident, two years ago?
Shade: Of course.
Egg: Terrorists blow a hole in a marine-owned ship, capsule clears the colony, BAM!
[Eggman clears his throat]
Egg: Sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, tons of crude oil is dumped into the Sea of Manhattan.
Shade: So I heard.
[the camera shows some helicopters flying towards a facility in the middle of the ocean]
Egg: So, the A-Team goes out there and fixes everything. There's now an oil clean-up facility out there. "The Big Shell."
Shade: I hear the clean-up isn't quite done yet.
Egg: It takes time. In the meantime, the Shell has become a national landmark; a symbol of all things nice and clean.
Shade: Hmm... Doctor Kleiner, you didn't call me here just to give me a history lesson. What's going on?
Egg: Well, recently, an unknown unit has seized control of the facility.
Shade: Do you have any ID?
Egg: The military has sent a squadron out there to find out. Word just got back that the unit are calling themselves "Splintered Cell."
Shade: "Splintered Cell...."
[the camera pans, showing a crane shot of Big Shell. as well as the logo]

METAL GEAR SHADE 2: Sons of Libfairy
by DJay32
based on a game by Hideo Kojima
and characters by him, too
and creatures by Sonic Team

Shade: So, what are their demands?
Egg: Thirty million billion pesos.
Shade: THIRTY MILLION BILLION PESOS?! What makes them think they can get that much?
Egg: One word: Government-Aided Government-Starring Tour For the President.
Shade: Ah, GAGSTFP... hostages, then?
Egg: Yes. One of the hostages is VITAL to the success of the world...
Shade: Name?
Egg: Jimmy James Jimmy-Bob Jack Johnson James John Jeffrey James Jon James Jackson Johnson.
Shade: THE PRESIDENT?!
Egg: Exactly. The terrorists say, if their demands are not met, they will blow the Shell out of the water.
Shade: ARGH... the oil will ignite with the explosives and the boom and the bam and the Manhattan and the city and the owie and the... RAA!
Egg: And that's not even the worst-case scenario. The oil might gather around and flood the harbor.. and stuff.
Shade: An oil spill...
Egg: Yes! The biggest in history, creating one HELLUVA national disaster.
Shade: So, what do I have to do?
Egg: You have two mission objectives. One: Infiltrate the off-shore oil clean-up facility "Big Shell," and rescue the president.
Shade: Is that all?
Egg: No. Objective two: Disarm the terrorists by any means neccesary. You should know the SEAL-Team 32 is conducting a rescue mission, too.
Shade: Is this a joint effort?
Egg: No. Remain hidden. Do not let anyone know you're in there. Not even me!
Shade: Um... okay.
[the camera shows a chao swimming underwater in a weird scuba suit; it's covering his entire body and face]
[he surfaces at a little hangar/dock place]
Chapter 5: Botanicus Debuticus
[he looks around, and ducks behind a crate]
[BEEP BEEP! (codec is activating)]
Shade: This is Shade... there don't seem to be any sentries anywhere.
Egg: That's a little strange...
Shade: That's not all. The net that would have blocked me from entering was cut open. Seems like somebody else wanted REALLY BADLY to get in here.
Egg: That's impossible!
Shade: What about SEAL-Team 32?
Egg: They landed on the roof of Big Shell, as planned. By the way, we're changing your code name.
Shade: What? What's wrong with "Shade?"
Egg: Just a precaution. You are now "Shadow Raid."
Raid: Hmm... that sounds pretty cool, actually.
Egg: You will be referred to as "Raid," as a code-code name. So, I take it you've already completed the VR Training?
Raid: Levels 1-300. I feel like some kind of nerdy mercenary...
Egg: Alright, we'll skip that part, then. Just contact me on Codec whenever you need to, and look for the elevator.
Raid: Mmkay.
[Raid moves through the weird hangar place, finds the elevator, and rides it up]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor Kleiner, I discovered some unconscious guards down there...
Egg: Impossible! That would mean...
Both: There's someone else in the Shell...
[pause]
Egg: ...I still think it's impossible.
Raid: Hey, um.. Doctor? Can I take my mask off now? It's kinda stuffy in here...
Egg: Go right ahead.
[the camera shows Raid reach for his mask, and pull it off]
[underneath is a green Dark chao; "Raid (Shadow)" appears on-screen]
Egg: Feeling better?
Raid: Yep. ...*hurl* ...okay, NOW I am.
Egg: Heh, not much of a swimmer, are you?
Raid: No. I hear the real Shade was, though...
Egg: Yes... such a shame that not even HIS swimming prowess could save him from that tanker incident...
Raid: Mmm...
[pause]
?: Shadow? Everything okay?
Raid: !!! What are YOU doing on this mission?
?: Shadow, I'm here to make sure you get through this okay...
Raid: But.. but...
Egg: Raid, meet the mission analyst.
Raid: I believe we've already met.... Cream.
[ZOMG LOLWUT ITZ CREAM TEH WABBIT WTFBBQ]
Cream: Shadow...
Egg: Um.. right, then. Glad to hear you two know each other.
Cream: Of course we know each other! Shadow's my best student at the CPAK Day Care Center!
Raid: Creaaaaaamm..... *sigh* (exasperated) I'm your ONLY student.
Cream: But you're still my best!
Raid: Doctor, why did you choose her for this job? She works at a DAY CARE CENTER.
Egg: Well... you GO to one.
Raid: This is true. Okay, okay, whatever.
Cream: Shadow, tell me... do you know what tomorrow is?
Raid: Uh... September 9th, right?
Cream: Right. And what happens on that day?
Raid: Uhhhhhh...... hmmm.... those new Nerf products are released?
Cream: Well, yes, but... what else?
Raid: ....I can't remember. Sorry.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. You'll remember soon.
Chapter 6: Botanicus Honytus
Egg: Cream, I have a request for you.
Cream: Yes, Doctor?
Egg: Shadow has a code name. For the duration of this mission, I would appreciate it if you would refer to him as "Raid."
Cream: *sigh* All right... RAID, good luck out there. Contact me if you ever want to save your game.
Egg: Yes, good luck, Raid.
[Cream leaves the radio conversation]
Egg: Listen to me, Raid... the Big Shell is divided into two cores surrounded by sixteen struts.
Raid: I know, I know-- eight per strut, labelled "Strut A-F," or something.
Egg: ...crap, yeah, it might not be sixteen. My memory fails me, you see...
Raid: Don't worry about it; I know my mission. I'll go now.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[the elevator keeps going up]
Raid: *sigh* Wonder what'll happen no--
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: I forgot some important information!
Raid: Yes?
Egg: The terrorists are calling themselves the "Sons of Libfairy."
Raid: Sons of... Libfairy?
Egg: Libfairy. And their leader is calling himself "Solid Shade."
Raid: The hero of the Dark Garden? ..is it possible that he might have survived?
Egg: Not a chance.
Raid: ...Shade...... the gardens are in a wreck without him. Even Chao...
Egg: What are you mumbling about?
Raid: Oh, nothing... so, where's the president, again?
Egg: He was last reported in Strut B. So... Northwest of your position.
Raid: Got it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid heads off in that direction]
[across the A-B bridge, he encounters a big military squad (SEAL-Team 32) firing at an enemy]
Raid: Hm?
[they are all firing at the same person-- Honey! That third-party female chao!]
[however, none of the bullets hit her-- even the ones fired directly at her]
[Honey sighs, and fires a giant, humongus SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at the soldiers; they die]
Honey: Can no one kill me? Can no one end my bad luck? *sigh* I doubt it.
[Honey slowly walks away]
[Raid is just standing there, wide-eyed]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, who the Honey Smacks was THAT?
Egg: That was Honey.
Raid: ..oh.
Egg: Yeah. Splintered Cell came to her and offered her a job, because her amazing luck impressed them.
Raid: Huh, sure impressed me, too.
Egg: Raid, you may want to hurry.
Raid: Yes, of course.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid enters Strut B, and instantly sees a corridor filled with blood]
Raid: .......guess I missed the party.
[he hears gunfire coming from the next room, which stops, followed by a scream]
[Raid slowly creeps around a corner, and peeks into the doorway]
[he sees a SEAL officer... having his blood sucked out of his neck by a freaky, purple-y Dark chao]
[the chao throws the corpse aside]
?: Five today....
[it looks in Raid's direction]
?: Or perhaps SIX?
Other ?: Get down! *gunfire*
Chapter 7: Botanicus Pliskus Echorinium
[an oddly familiar SEAL officer fires at the Dark chao]
[the Dark chao grabs the officer, and prepares to cut his throat open]
[the SEAL officer eyes Raid, and tilts his head at the chao]
Raid: Huh? ...oh, right!
[Raid shoots the Dark chao; no bullets hit him]
[the Dark chao doesn't even notice, instead, he starts sniffing the SEAL officer]
?: Your smell..... are you...
Officer: What are you talking about?
?: ..no. I will not kill you today. I am needed by Honey.
[the Dark chao flies upwards, and completely disappears]
[Raid steps into the room, and toward the officer]
Officer: I'm not an enemy, you know.
Raid: Then.. who ARE you?
Officer: S... Snake Pliskin. Lieutenant First Grade.
["Snake Pliskin (Officer)" appears on-screen]
Raid: "First?" You mean... uh.. Senior, or Junior, or...
Pliskin: Whatever. ..your suit... are you PROWLER?
Raid: Yes, but--
Pliskin: PROWLER disbanded two years ago.
Raid: Um... well..
Pliskin: Where were you before PROWLER?
Raid: Part of the Army's Force XXXII.
Pliskin: Force XXXII? That's tactical IT deployment, right? Got any field experience?
Raid: Well, um.. no, but--
Pliskin: I see. So, this is your first op...
Raid: I-I've gotten plenty of OTHER experience, though!
Pliskin: Ya don't say. Like what?
Raid: Sneaking Mission 32, and, uh... Weapons 96...
Pliskin: VR training, huh? Great. A virtual grunt from the digital ages.
[Pliskin scans Raid from top to bottom, then holds out his hand]
Pliskin: Welcome to the club, buddy.
Raid: Uhm... *shakes Pliskin's hand* thanks?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Hang on; I gotta take this.
Pliskin: (under breath) The kid's wired with nanomachines...
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, any sign of the president?
Raid: No sign at all. However, I hear he's been taken somewhere else...
Egg: What about SEAL-Team 32? Any news from them?
Raid: The entire Alpha squad's down-- no, one survivor.
Egg: One survivor?
Raid: Lieutenant Snake Pliskin.
Cream: "Snake Pliskin?" Are you sure that's his name?
Raid: Uh.. lemme check. Hey, is that your real name, "Snake Pliskin?" ....oh, okay, just checking! He said "Yes."
Egg: Something the matter, Cream?
Cream: Not exactly, but... I'm sure I've heard that name before.
Egg: Alright. We'll run an extensive search on him. For now, just keep on... keeping on, okay, Raid?
Raid: Wilco.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: So, uh.. Pliskin? What the Hildenberg was that thing that was here earlier?
Pliskin: A member of Splintered Cell. I bet your VR training didn't include anything like that, right?
Raid: Well... right. Yes. Uh, so what's the deal with Splintered Cell, anyway?
Pliskin: *sigh* May as well tell you about 'em. Lemme clear some space.

A special forces unit created by Ex-President Sam "Fisher" Sears. The name was originally intended to reflect its stealth unit functions. The unit would launch unannounced assaults on government complexes, for the ultimate MGS-style simulation. They were needed to show VR troopers like you how to deal with the real thing. 

But around the time their original leader died in prison, the unit began to unravel. They were always close to the edge, but
they became more and more extreme. Began to go after U.S. allies, even civilians. We estimate that no fewer than a hundred people died on accidents the Splintered Cell arranged on their own. They were out of control -- and it all  came to a head six months ago.
Raid: What happened six months ago?
Pliskin: The unit just kinda... fell apart. Only three remain, and you just saw one of 'em.
Chapter 8: Botanicus Developmenticus
Raid: What about their leader? Do you think he's really Solid Shade?
Pliskin: Shade died two years ago...
Raid: You mean the tanker incident that made this facility necessary in the first place?
Pliskin: Yeah. He's a real legend... but, sometimes legends are heroes, while sometimes they're madmen.
Raid: Do you think it's possible he survived, and is pulling another one?
Pliskin: No. His body was found and positive-ID'd two years ago... the real Shade is dead and buried.
Raid: Hm.
[the radio on Pliskin's uniform turns on, and there are calls for backup]
[Pliskin just sits there, and pops a lollipop in his mouth]
Raid: Aren't you gonna answer that?
Pliskin: Meh. You want one?
Raid: A radio?
Pliskin: A lollipop.
Raid: No, thanks. I'm good. I'm just.. gonna go to Strut C, and look around a bit. Wanna come with?
Pliskin: I go my own way. I'm a loner. But, if you ever need info on this place, or stuff like that, call my codec.
Raid: Why do you have a--
Pliskin: My frequency is 141.80. By the way, what's your name?
Raid: The name's Raid.
Pliskin: Raid? Strange codename.
Raid: Better than the one my parents gave me.
[Raid leaves Strut B and moves towards Strut C]
[as he's moving, Cream calls]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Everything alright, Shadow?
Raid: Yeah, I'm fine. Any news on Pliskin?
Cream: Not yet. His name still seems familiar, though...
Raid: Wait, if there's no news, then why'd you call?
Cream: I just wanted to know if you remember what tomorrow is yet.
Raid: Tomorrow... September 9th........ sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. Just.. try to finish your mission by tomorrow, okay?
Raid: Okay. I will. Oh, and Cream? I have something else for you to look up.
Cream: Sure, what is it?
Raid: I want you to look up everything about Solid Shade.
Cream: The famous mercenary?
Raid: Yes. Everything past the CPAK incident. He's dead now, and the CIA should have his burial records-- I want those, too.
Cream: Okay, Shadow. I'll look him up for you.
Raid: Thanks, Cream.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[....BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: What now?
Egg: Raid, we have recieved word from the navy that they brought a bomb disposal expert with them.
Raid: Great, how's his mission going?
Egg: Ask him yourself. He's in Strut C.
Raid: What in the name of fudge balls is he doing in there?
Egg: We don't know! Just find out!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid enters Strut C, and finds himself in a kitchen/dining room area]
[inside is an old neutral chao with a cane and a police outfit]
[Raid slowly sneaks behind him, and points his gun at him]
?: Don't shoot.
[Raid continues pointing it at him]
Raid: Are you a cop?
?: I'm not CWPD (Chao World Police Department), but I came with the Bravo team. Who are you, and what happened to the squad?
Raid: They're all dead.
?: All of them? That's bad...
Raid: Did I say you could move?
Pliskin: Sheesh, take a chill pill, kid; he's one of the good guys.
[Pliskin enters the room, and Raid stands down]
Pliskin: Don't go pointing that thing everywhere.
Chapter 9: Botanicus Missionscus Briefium
Pliskin: So, who are you?
?: My name is Shawn, Shawn the Dark.
["Shawn the Dark (Shawn)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: A lecturer at Harvard... and the CWPD's bomb consultant.
Shawn: I'm just a poor old chao who got dragged into this.
Raid: So you're SEAL's bomb disposal expert?
Pliskin: Kid, this is THE bomb disposal expert! Open any explosives disposal textbook and you'll see his name.
Shawn: Heh, that's all just ancient history now.
Raid: Then why'd you come on this mission?
Shawn: Because one of the terrorists was one of my best students.
Pliskin: That can't be good.
Shawn: The Emperor of Explosives... Fatcham. An explosives genius. He made an atomic bomb when he was ten.
Pliskin: Pfft, I know somebody who made something ten times cooler when he was ten...
Shawn: Really? Who?
Pliskin: DJay.
Shawn: ..ah, yes, right, well... uh.. let's just stick to the script, and stop breaking the Fourth Wall, shall we?
Pliskin: Just sayin'.
Shawn: Okay, and I agree with you. Still, in a way, I created Fatcham...
Raid: And that's why the navy thought you'd be best for this mission?
Shawn: Pretty much. Are you two with SEAL-Team 32? I didn't see you at the mission briefing.
Pliskin: We're... with other squads. I'm Lieutenant Snake Pliskin. *shakes Shawn's hand*
Shawn: You seem rather familiar, Pliskin.......... say, do you have any bomb disposal experience?
Pliskin: Oh, I've had plenty of experience. And this kid looks young, but he can do it.
Shawn: Ah, I see. What's your name, son?
Raid: Raid.
Shawn: Raid? Strange name.
Pliskin: Were there any other survivors?
Shawn: Well, now that you mention it, there was this engineer...
Raid: An engineer?
Shawn: Big Shell is fully computer-operated, you see. His job was to get us past all the security clearances.
Pliskin: Hm. Where is he now?
Shawn: I haven't seen him since that little skirmish...
Pliskin: So, nobody else in your squad is here?
Shawn: Apparently not. And my leg... I lost it in an explosion, so...
Pliskin: So we have to do the dirty work?
Raid: Aw, great.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Aw, great! Sorry, I gotta take this.
Pliskin: Off to consult your CO again?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Glad to hear that Shawn's okay.
Raid: Is it true that the Bravo team came in with an engineer?
Egg: We haven't heard anything about that, but they probably planned it. Don't worry. Just help Shawn with the bombs.
Raid: Doctor, you know I have no experience in bomb disposal!
Egg: Relax, Raid. The man you're working with is highly professional, and the top of his league. Just follow his instructions.
Raid: Ugh.... fine.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shawn: Listen, you two won't be actually dismantling the bombs. That's extremely complicated.
Raid: So, what WILL we do?
Shawn: Simply take this spray *hands them some spray* and freeze the bombs!
Raid: Freeze them?
Shawn: It should freeze them for at least 24 hours.
Pliskin: That's plenty of time for a professional bomb disposal expert to get to them! I see...
Raid: But, how will we know where the bombs are?
Shawn: Here *hands them another complicated gadget*, this gadget will be able to pick up the bombs' scents.
Raid: ...wait.. what?
Shawn: I know Fatcham well. He likes to put his own little signature on his work... a sample of the cologne he uses.
Raid: Ah.
Pliskin: Raid, you take care of the bombs on this end of the facility; I got the other end.
Raid: Got it.
Shawn: I'll just be in this food pantry, here, if you need me. My frequency is 140.15.
[Shawn hides in a food pantry]
Pliskin: You ready for this, kid?
Raid: I guess...
Pliskin: Good. Now, move out!
[Pliskin and Raid go their own seperate ways]
Chapter 9.9: Botanicus WHAT THE FICUS
[Raid's radar/gadget tells him of a bomb in Strut C, in the bathroom; he investigates it]
[he finds a bomb inside a stall; he freezes it]
[he hears footsteps entering the bathroom; he quickly closes and locks the stall he's in]
[he hears the voice of Levity Nite talking to a radio]
Nite: ..uh-huh.... yeah... sure. Yeah. Mmhmm.
[he hears Levity wash his hands unzip some pants and.. use a urinal]
Nite: No, I can talk. I'm just in the bathroom. ..Eeksuu? Oh, it's close. I wouldn't just abandon that thing.
[FLUSHHHH]
Nite: Listen, there's been a slight change of plans. We're still gonna end the Projekt...
[sink, wash hands]
Nite: But, it'll take us a few more episodes than previously planned. So, I pulled some strings...
[sink stops]
Nite: Yeah, no, DJay's fine with the whole thing. After all, he's been awfully... shall we say, tied up.. in work lately.
[he laughs evilly]
Nite: ..*sigh* How can you forget, man? The Projekt...
[he shifts (looks around), and the following is close to a whisper]
Nite: The Projekt is Dark Chao Adventures, remember?
[Levity starts walking away, the following is barely heard]
Nite: I'll just cut to the chase-- to end DCA, we're gonna need this season to go on a bit longer than 8 episodes.
[he completely leaves the room]
[Raid is standing, sweating, wide-eyed, heart beating rapidly]
Raid: ....th..th....they're gonna end DCA?
[Raid exits the bathroom]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Pliskin, I've just defused the first bomb.
Pliskin: Good job, kid. I'm working on my second right now.
Raid: But, listen... when I was in there, I--
Pliskin: *BOOM* O SNAP, sorry, Raid; I gotta go fight some bad guys.
Raid: But--
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: ...this isn't good.
Chapter 10: Botanicus Bombio Defusium
[Raid goes around the facility, defusing bombs in each of the struts, but at one point...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
?: Be careful... there are Claymore mines around there.
Raid: What? Who are you?
?: Just call me..... Deepthroat.
Raid: "Deepthroat?" You mean from CPAK?
?: Mister X, then.
Raid: "Mister X?" Why the heck would it matter if I called you "Deepthroat?"
X: Never mind that. Let's just say that I'm one of your fans.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[then, as Raid is investigating the many struts, he stumbles upon the female Shade talking on a radio]
[he hides as she talks]
Radio: I've taken care of that bothersome fly... any news with you?
SShade: I guess. I just saw someone dressed as a cyborg ninja, complete with the sword.
Radio: What? Are you sure it was not just a Libfairy unit?
SShade: What sort of fool are you to assume that I do not know the difference? I know what I saw.
Radio: Alright. We'll intensify patrol.
SShade: Oh, and.. there's a man sneaking around in a cardboard box.
Radio: ...a... cardboard box?
SShade: You don't believe me, do you? He's on the Shell 2 bridge.
Radio: No, I believe you. I've seen someone use that tactic before. Traps will be planted on the bridge.
SShade: That's all. Over and out.
[she stops using the radio, and Raid sneaks up on her]
Raid: (pointing the gun at her) Freeze! You're a part of Splintered Cell, aren't you?
SShade: Of course not! What a thing to say.
Raid: Drop your gun!
SShade: I'm not even HOLDING a gun.
Raid: ..oh. Well... um... still, stand down!
SShade: Not a chance.
[she jumps out into the water; Raid looks, and she's not in the water]
Raid: ...weird.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Pliskin, this is Raid. I just encountered some woman...
Pliskin: That was the female Shade, then.
Raid: Are you sure?
Pliskin: Unlike you, I have been briefed.
Raid: Is she Splintered Cell?
Pliskin: No, she's the commander of the random enemy troops you'll see around here.
Raid: Oh, okay. Just asking.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[he continues looking around, defusing bombs, until...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: This is Raid. I've just defused another bomb. This one was hidden in a pile of adult magazines.
Shawn: That... that can't be right...
Raid: What do you mean?
Shawn: I know Fatcham. If he were serious about this, he'd have planted the bombs in entirely different locations, so when they explode, the whole facility would go down...
Raid: So, what? Are they dummy mines?
Shawn: I don't know. I asked Pliskin to investigate something related to this for me, though, so...
Pliskin: Shawn. I checked the bottom of Strut H for you.
Raid: Three-way Codec Conversations FTW!
Shawn: What did you find?
Pliskin: Tons and tons of C4 strapped to the bottom.
Shawn: Called it! I knew it... those were the REAL threat.
Pliskin: And there's more, too.
Shawn: What?
Pliskin: These are Sensor-Proof. New model, I guess. They don't have any smell, so the sensors can't detect them.
Shawn: UGH, I should have KNOWN not to underestimate Fatcham like that...
Pliskin: Imma gunna try the spray from a distance...
Shawn: NO, hold on a bit. Let me think about this... you still have one bomb left, right, Pliskin?
Pliskin: Right.
Shawn: Find it and defuse it-- I'll take care of the big bomb. You, too, Raid.
Raid: Got it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 11: Botanicus Deepathus Crapium
[Raid goes and defuses his last bomb]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: This is Raid. I've defused the last bomb at this end of the facility.
Shawn: Good. I've found the big bomb... it's interesting. The bomb hasn't been activated yet, but the sensors are live...
Raid: What does it mean?
Shawn: ......
Pliskin: This is Pliskin. I've found my last bomb, and am about to defuse it.
Shawn: ..of course! PLISKIN! STOP!
[too late-- a hissing sound is heard as the spray freezes the last bomb]
[...beep, beep, beep, beep, beep]
Shawn: I KNEW IT! Fatcham wired it so the big bombs don't activate until all the little ones are down!
Pliskin: Aw, crap...
Shawn: The other big bomb is bound to be activ--
Raid: OTHER big bomb?
Shawn: Yes, one under Shell 1. Your end of the facility. Raid, can you go and defuse it? Hurry!
Raid: How much time is left?
Shawn: According to my calculations, there should be... around 300 seconds left. It should be under Strut A.
Pliskin: Raid, go! Go!
Raid: Okay!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid dashes to Strut A, and looks thoroughly around for any bombs]
Raid: Where IS it?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shawn: Raid...... I fell for it.
Raid: What? Fell for what?
Shawn: Fatcham has my number. Proximity trigger. Microwave.
Raid: You don't mean...
Shawn: It's not a trick I taught him. I'll be gone in 30 seconds. Pliskin, get away from Strut H as fast as you can.
Pliskin: *sigh* Okay. Nice working with you, Shawn.
Shawn: You, too, Pliskin. Raid, keep a good distance from your bomb. Use the spray from afar, and it should defuse.
Raid: But... but...
Shawn: It's too late for me! Do your mission, Raid... be a good soldier.
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!]
Pliskin: .......
Raid: ......
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid eventually finds the bomb and defuses it]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, I've defused the bomb. It was a great loss for everyone...
Egg: Indeed, it was.
Raid: Damage report, please?
Egg: The water contamination plant in Shell 2 was quite... jacked up, and the core of Shell 2 is flooding. But, that's it.
Raid: Is the Big Shell still stable?
Egg: Yes.
Raid: What's my next objective?
Egg: Rescue the president. Start by returning to the top of Sturt A.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[as Raid goes upwards, he encounters Honey, standing in front of the elevator to the top]
Honey: I see you've been able to defuse that bomb.
[Honey aims her giant SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Raid]
Raid: Oh, crap.
Honey: ..hm? You're not who I thought you were.
[Honey stands down]
Honey: I'm Honey. They call me "Lady Luck," because I never get hurt. Ever.
["Honey (Honey)" appears on-screen]
Honey: Perhaps YOU could kill me, and bring me happiness?
[Honey fires at Raid; he dodges and hides]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Uh, Doctor, this isn't a very good time!
Egg: Raid, Fatcham just contacted us.
Chapter 12: Botanicus Fatcham
Raid: WHAT? Fatcham contacted US?!
Egg: He asked specifically for YOU, Raid. He's on the roof of Strut E. He's giving you 400 seconds, or else...
Raid: Or else what?
Egg: ...he didn't specify. HURRY!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid waits, but Honey doesn't leave; she fires again; Raid dodges]
[eventually, the vampire guy enters]
?: I'll take over, my Queen.
Honey: Echo.
Raid: ...NOW!
[Raid jumps out from his hiding place, and shoots at Honey]
[the bullet swings around her and strikes Echo right in the face; he dies]
Honey: No.. *sniffle* that bullet was meant for ME...... why must you keep torturing me so?
[Honey breaks into a sob; Raid slowly and awkwardly sneaks around her and rides the elevator up]
Honey: WHY?!
Echo: It is not time for me to die, my Queen...
[cut to Strut E; Raid reaches the roof]
[there is a lone, small bomb in the open; Raid defuses it]
?: Ah, so YOU'RE the one who keeps defusing my bombs. You're here right on time. I like a punctual man.
[Raid spins around and draws his gun; there is a chao wearing a really fat suit]
["Fatcham (Cham)" appears on-screen]
Fatcham: Whaddya say we drink? To Shawn?
[Fatcham pulls out a glass of wine, and drinks it]
Raid: If you blow up Big Shell, you'll NEVER get your ransom!
Fatcham: Ransom? What the Mack Daddy are you talkin' about?
Raid: The random for thirty million billion pesos!
[Fatcham burts out with laughter]
Fatcham: So THAT'S what they're doin'... me, personally, I couldn't give less of a crap about money.
Raid: Well... why are YOU in this, then?
Fatcham: I simply want to go down as the greatest bomber in history!
[Fatcham begins skating around on random rollerskates, planting bombs wherever he sees fit]
[Raid defuses them one by one, and manages to shoot Fatcham in the chest; he falls over]
Fatcham: Oof... you think you have won... you think all is well...
Raid: What do you mean?
Fatcham: Heh, what I mean by that is, I'll see you in Hell!
[Fatcham pulls out a detonator, and presses the button]
Raid: What was that for?
Fatcham: The biggest bomb in the whole shell... once that goes off, it's curtains for you, and everybody here!
Raid: Where did you plant it?!
Fatcham: Heh heh... *coughs up blood* ha ha ha ha ha...
[Fatcham dies]
Raid: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAAAP...
[Raid looks around, and eventually finds it underneath Fatcham's corpse; he defuses it]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: (panting) This is Raid... I have defeated Fatcham, and defused all the bombs.
Egg: Excellent work, Raid. Now, go look for the president.
Raid: I don't know where he is, though!
Egg: You haven't checked the central Shell 1 core. Check that.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Hang on, I have another call. Should I take it?
Egg: Yes. I'll go offline. We want to keep our presence unknown.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Pliskin: How ya doin', kid?
Raid: Pretty good, I guess. I defused all the bombs, and took care of Fatcham. How are you?
Pliskin: Good job. I think I was out cold for a while... but, I'm fine.
Raid: What about the toxins? Did the Shell 2 bomb do anything to them?
Pliskin: Toxins?
Raid: Yeah, the toxins kept in Shell 2 that would completely defile the ocean.
Pliskin: Huh. I haven't heard anything about that. Anyway, listen, once you find the president, I have a friend with a chopper.
Raid: Good! First I have to find the president, though...
Pliskin: Well... you look for him. I have my own work to do.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 13: Botanicus Mister Ames
[as Raid is leaving the roof, he sees a freaky cyborg ninja]
Raid: !!! Dubbyoo tee eff? Who are you?
Ninja: I'm like you.. I have no name.
Raid: Mister X?
X: Hmm... if you'd like.
Raid: Are you an enemy?
X: No. I'm just a messenger from the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. ..let's talk by Codec. It's safer that way.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Who do you work for?
X: That is not important to you right now. I have bigger information-- the location of the president.
Raid: Really?
X: Well... no. I have the location of a person who knows the location of the president.
Raid: Who?
X: A Secret Service Agent named "Ames." He's being held in the B1 Conference Room in the Shell 1 Core.
Raid: What does he look like?
X: We are not even sure if he is a "he."
Raid: How am I supposed to find him or her, then?
X: All we know is this-- Ames wears a pacemaker. Y'know, one of those gadgets that... does something or other.
Raid: Uh-huh. So, what, I'm supposed to go up to every hostage and say, "Hey, lady, I wanna listen to your breasts?"
X: No. Here, I have a directonal microphone for you, so you can listen to stuff from afar.
[X gives Raid the mic]
X: And here's a uniform the terrorists use, so you can get in.
[X gives Raid a terrorist uniform]
X: You'd better hurry. They have the nuke on their sid--
Raid: They have A NUKE?!
X: You didn't find their continuous presence here questionable? President or no, this is just an island, and it's not a very practical one, at that.
Raid: Even with a nuke, they still need a code to launch it, right? I mean--
X: They already have that. Remember that briefcase the Secret Service has? With the launch codes?
Raid: Argh... but, why bring a nuke here? To an oil clean-up facility of all places?
X: They didn't have to bring any nukes here. There was already one. The whole "clean-up facility" thing is just a facade.
Raid: A facade?
X: Yes... just a cover-up for Metal Gear, which is housed here.
Raid: METAL GEAR!?!?
X: Indeed. Ask Ames the rest. Here, *gives Raid a cell phone* you might need this.
Raid: A cell phone? Why do I need--
[X is gone]
Raid: ..ah, never mind.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor...
Egg: I swear, this is the first I've heard of the Metal Gear rumor.
Raid: Really?
Egg: I promise you, Raid, I've been completely open with you. I'll have the rumor looked into. For now, just save Ames.
Raid: So, you believe the ninja?
Egg: It's our only lead for now. You have your mission, so go do it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid dons the disguise and enters the Conference Room; he uses the mic to find Ames]
Raid: Are you Ames?
Ames: How do you know me?
Raid: This weird ninja told me about you.
Ames: I see.
Raid: Are you Secret Service?
Ames: No, I was sent by the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo, just like you.
Raid: ..what?
Ames: Doesn't matter. We don't have much time. I assume you're here for the president's location.
Raid: Where is he?
Ames: Floor 1 of the Shell 2 Core.
Raid: Shell 2 core, floor 1, got it. Do you think they'll kill him?
Ames: They can't, otherwise the nuke won't launch. It's nanomachines and stuff, you understand.
Raid: So.... so Metal Gear's truly here?
Ames: Yes, it is.
Raid: But, why an offshore clean-up facility?
Ames: They really haven't told you anything, have they? It was all planned-- the tanker, the spill, the clean-up, EVERYTHING!
Raid: Really?
Ames: Yes. The Big Shell was created specifically for the housing of Metal Gear. ..wait! There he is!
Raid: Who?
Ames: Solid Shade...
[Raid pulls out his directional mic and listens to a faraway conversation]
Chapter 14: Botanicus Solid Shade
[there is a cloaked man-- Levity Nite, and a man in a large, freaky, techno-y suit ("Solid Shade")]
Nite: Boss, Fatcham is dead.
Shade?: It doesn't matter. He was crazy, anyway.
Nite: I'll have his background checked, just in case.
Shade?: You think he was working for them?
Nite: It doesn't matter-- not with that intruder at large, anyway.
Shade?: The man in the sneaking suit...
Nite: You know more about those suits than I do.
Shade?: Hm. Any news with..... it?
Nite: Yes. The launch sequence preparations are going smoothly. In an hour, we'll need the president's confirmation, but that's it for him. After that, we'll just need the girl to launch it.
Shade?: Only a few steps away from Inner-Outer Heaven...
[Shade? clears his throat, and begins walking away]
Shade?: I leave this place in your hands, Levity. I'll take care of the intruder.
Nite: Right, then.
[they leave; Raid puts the mic away]
Raid: Was that really Solid Shade?
Ames: So he claims. Anyway, what did they say?
Raid: They said the preparations are complete. They just need the president's input. ..I guess he's cooperating with them?
Ames: Yes... he's probably tired of being a puppet. But, he is wrong to betray us like that.
Raid: A puppet?
Ames: Doesn't matter. They WILL launch the nuke. You know what you have to do by then.
Raid: Fire it? But it's nowhere near the ransom deadline!
Ames: Ransom?
Raid: For thirty million billion pesos!
Ames: What the hell are you talking about?! The nuclear launch isn't a THREAT-- it's been our GOAL all along!
Raid: To slaughter thousands of innocent people?!
Ames: No! A high-altitude detonation. You've heard of the Compton Effect?
Raid: Naturally. But, if they do that near a global power, it could start a global depression!
Ames: That's not their aim, though. They want to "liberate" Manhattan-- put it offline, and turn it into a Republic.
Raid: So THAT'S why they're called "Sons of Liberty..."
Ames: "LibFAIRY." And that's NOT why they're called that.
Raid: ..then, why are they--
Ames: Here comes Levity Nite! Quiet!
[Levity Nite comes by]
Nite: Ames. I know why you're here.
Ames: What are you talking about?
Nite: They knew the president was going to betray them, so they sent you to keep tabs on him...
Ames: Wh..what--
[Levity Nite points a gun at Ames' head]
Nite: Sorry, Colonel, but you've failed the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo.
[Ames jumps up, and then.. well, he suddenly dies]
Nite: What the..?
[Levity looks at Raid]
Nite: You! What squadron are you?
[other soldiers come]
Nite: Do you recognize him?
Soldier: No, sir. He's not one of mine.
[Levity rips Raid's mask off]
Nite: You.... we meet at last.
[the ninja suddenly appears, and glares at Levity]
Nite: Wait, but... you're dead! You died!
[Raid runs off]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: I saw the whole thing... ('cause.. the codec is cool like that, or... something)
Raid: Doctor, they were after the nuclear launch from the start, NOT the ransom...
Egg: Jeez--so it was a cover-up all along...
Raid: Doctor, what aren't you telling me?!
Egg: Nothing! Really, Raid, it's not like I'm being told everything, either!
[dramatic silence]
Egg: ...anyway, your priority right now is with the president. You need to find him and rescue him.
Raid: But, he's been cooperating with--
Egg: Yes, yes, according to Ames. But, they're also going to kill him. There's something more to this, and only he can tell you.
Raid: *sigh* Okay. I'll go rescue him.
Egg: Good. You can get to the Shell 2 Core via the connecting bridge. Go!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 15: Botanicus Pliskus
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Raid, I finally got some information on that Pliskin guy.
Raid: Great! Lemme hear it!
Cream: He can't be "Snake Pliskin."
Raid: Why not?
Cream: "Snake Pliskin" was the main protagonist in the movie, "Escape from New York."
Raid: Oh. ..well... was it a good movie?
Cream: Much better than I had predicted, actually. I don't normally like action movies, but that was... wow!
Raid: So it WAS a good movie?
Cream: Very.
Raid: Okay.
[pause]
Raid: Um... bye.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid makes it to the connecting bridge]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Pliskin: Raid, you there?
Raid: Yeah, I read ya loud n' clear. Hey, listen... we have a lead on the president's location.
Pliskin: Uh-huh?
Raid: He's on the ground floor in the Shell 2 core.
Pliskin: Ah, well, I can't get there. I'm in Strut H, and that explosion blocked the path there.
Raid: Okay, fine, I'll do it, myself. I'm on the connecting bridge.
Pliskin: Careful, then. There's some Semtex planted across that bridge.
[Raid takes a look with his binoculars, and sees some little black devices scattered across the bridge]
Raid: I see 'em...
Pliskin: You might want a sniper rifle, so you can take out the control units. I hear there's one back in Strut--
Raid: I already got it. *BANG BANG* Done.
[Raid starts walking across the bridge]
Pliskin: Um... good. By the way, I found us a ride.
Raid: Great, let's hear it!
Pliskin: One of the enemy's Kasatkas. Was there a Harrier on Strut E?
Raid: No.
Pliskin: Good, I'll land this thing there.
Raid: Okay, well, the hostages are in B1 of the Shell 1 core. There are about thirty of 'em.
Pliskin: Hm. The Kasatka can only hold about thirteen. Guess we'll have to make two trips, huh, Otakit?
?: Looks like it.
Pliskin: Raid, I wanna introduce you to my friend, Otakit. You may know him as Mister Prower.
Tails: Hey, Raid.
Raid: Uh... nice to meet you. Pliskin, I'll talk to you later.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, I need some answers. Exactly who is Pliskin, and his partner?
Egg: I know what you're thinking, Raid...
Raid: It keeps coming back to CPAK! And now this Otakit...
Cream: AKA Miles Prower, Kindergarten teacher. He and Shade both became wanted criminals after acts of terrorism.
Raid: But they're not terrorists, though!
Egg: Why are you defending him, Raid?
Raid: Because, after being on this mission for a bit, I've realized that it takes a lot more than sneaking to get you around.
Cream: Are you okay, Shadow?
Raid: I'm not sure what the word is, but... I just know it's something special. And Shade has it.
Egg: Even that being so, Shade is DEAD. They found his body!
Raid: But that also means the leader of the terrorists can't be him, either.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[a chopper flies above Raid; Pliskin stands inside, looking at Raid; the chopper flies to Strut E]
[Raid turns and sees a character wearing a long, black cape standing by the wall]
?: Nice to see you... a messenger from the Patriots.
Raid: Who are you?
?: Where do I know you from?
Raid: You're the boss around here, aren't you?
?: No, not just around here. I'm the boss to surpass even THE boss, himself.
[the figure stands out in the open, and looks at Raid]
?: I'm Solid Shade.
[the chopper flies by again]
Pliskin: NO! That is NOT Solid Shade!
?: What a pleasant surprise-- brudda.
Pliskin: Save it. You're no brother of mine.
?: Don't say you've forgotten me, Shade.
[Raid turns and looks at Pliskin, the gray Dark chao wearing the Navy uniform, who has a shocked expression on his face]
Raid: ..Shade?
Pliskin: Raid, take cover!
[Pliskin fires a rocket at the character, who dodges it, and a HUUUUGE explosion forms]
[the explosion melts the character's cape, revealing a full-body exoskeleton]
[also, the camera shows that the character's face is not visible, due to a scarf, hat, and goggles covering it]
["Solidus Shade (...)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: Stop impersonating him!
Solidus: Brother, I'm a whole different game than Lam Mink.
[Solidus leaps into the ocean, and does not come back up]
[Raid peeks over the edge of the bridge, into the water]
[...rumble]
[SPLASH!]
[a giant, bipedal robot rises out of the water]
[the camera zooms in on Pliskin's gray face]
Pliskin: Metal Gear...
[inside the cockpit of Metal Gear, Solidus Shade is feeling his face]
Solidus: ...shit, they got my eye!
[his eye is missing]
Solidus: They'll pay for that.
[he fires some giant missles out of Metal Gear Eeksuu; the bridge is totalled, and Raid is on the side closest to Shell 2]
Solidus: Echo! C'mon!
[cut to inside the chopper; Tails and Pliskin are watching as a chao runs across the water]
Tails: What the heck is THAT thing?
Pliskin: ...it's running on water...
[the chao runs up a wall, and into a nearby Strut]
[Eeksuu swims away]
Chapter 16: Botanicus Livingus Legendio
[BEEP BEEP!]
Pliskin: Raid, you okay?
Raid: Ugh... yeah, I'm fine. How about you guys?
Pliskin: We're... managing.
Raid: The chopper?
Pliskin: Er.. not so much. We need some time for repairs.
Raid: Oh. 
Pliskin: The President's all yours, kid.
Raid: .....Pliskin, are you THE Shade? I mean... they said you were dead.
[from now on, "Pliskin" is "Shade" :D]
Shade: Dead? Not me. There's too many things I need to do first.
Raid: But... I need to ask you something. After all, you're a legend...
Shade: I'm no legend. A legend is just fiction. Something you pass on to others. I'm just a guy who loves adventure.
Raid: Well, I'm only here because I was assigned this mission. I'd be outta here in a second if it were up to me.
Shade: Pfft, I bet you WOULD.
Raid: My question is... how could you come back to all this? Why keep fighting?
Shade: There's something my best friend once said to me.
Raid: Uh-huh?
Shade: We're not tools of the government, or anybody else. I fight because... that's what I'm best at. I always fight for that in which I believe.
Raid: What about the dead body? The one that was positive-ID'd as being yours?
Tails: Oh, that? Heh, it's amazing what happens when you go on Google and look up "Shade corpse ragdoll..."
Raid: Are you guys really a Non-Government Organization?
Tails: In the way that we work for what we believe in, yes. We specialize in disabling the threats of Metal Gears.
Raid: But... why stick your neck out for something so risky?
Shade: Heh, that's the way I used to look at it... before my Gray Journey, two years ago. That really changed me.
Tails: We've got to keep track of our mistakes for the upcoming generations, so we might learn how to correct ourselves.
Raid: Hm. So... Otakit, is that the only reason you're here?
Tails: WELL... the terrorists have my friend's chao here. I want to save him.
Shade: We're here out of our own will. No assignments.
Raid: Thank you for answering my questions... and nice to meet you, Shade.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, they have Metal Gear up and fully operational...
Egg: That may be, but you might still be able to stop them. Rescue the president!
Raid: ...Eggman... you were monitoring my Codec calls. That guy... he's the real Shade. The real deal.
Egg: Maybe.
Raid: "Maybe?"
Egg: Don't let your guard down with him.
Raid: Doctor, why do you say that?
Egg: Because you went through a fucking simulation of this mission; that chao was never a part of it. He's an unknown factor.
Raid: Well, you can take your simulation and....!!! We're out here; we LIVE; we BLEED; we DIE!
Cream: Please calm down, Shadow...
Egg: Yes, I suggest you do, Raid. Even if that IS Shade, he has no bearing on your mission.
Raid: Doctor, you and Shade used to be on the same side... I read about you in the CPAK school newspaper...
Egg: I don't give a cocking damn what that piece of shit-filth trash says about me. Do you get me?
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid stays still for a bit, still thinking about things]
Raid: .........*siiiiiiiiigh* Better get moving.
[he sneaks around the Struts of Shell 2 (the ones that are still up and running)]
[eventually, he makes it to the Shell 2 core]
Raid: Hmm... if I were the terrorists, where would I hide the president?
[he sees a door and opens it]
[...the president is right there]
Raid: ....in plain sight, I guess.
Chapter 17: Botanicus Presidentio Rescuum
Raid: President Jimmy James Jimmy-Bob Jack Johnson James John Jeffrey James Jon James Jackson Johnson.
Pres: You finally showed up.
Raid: You were expecting me?
Pres: Your skeleton suit isn't exactly Government material.
Raid: Are you alright?
Pres: ..is this some kind of sick joke?
Raid: Wha?
Pres: If you're going to kill me for betraying my nation, don't fuck with me!
Raid: But...
Pres: Who are you with, boy?
Raid: PROWLER, sir.
Pres: Hmm... PROWLER. Things are finally starting to make sense.
Raid: What do you mean? Why did you cooperate with the terrorists, anyway?
Pres: I wanted power. Absolute power.
Raid: But.. you HAVE power! You're the--
Pres: --the President? Please. I have no power. I'm just a figurehead. The REAL power lies with the Patriots.
Raid: The... Patriots?
Pres: The truth behind EVERYTHING. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them. Few have, even those with code clearance.
Raid: But......
Pres: They decide everything-- politics, economics, you name it. They even decide who becomes president.
Raid: No way!
Pres: Hard to believe, isn't it? They do, though. And everything I supposedly do, they plan it all in advance.
Raid: B-but.. what about democracy?
Pres: "Democracy?" That's just a filler for textbooks. Do you honestly believe the government cares about what you say?
Raid: ....no.
Pres: This country is shaped the way the Patriots see fit. The government is just a ploy for the public's entertainment!
[Raid stares at him]
Pres: Don't look at me like that. I'm legally sane, you know.
Raid: It's not your sanity that scares me...
Pres: *sigh* The Patriots... not even I know who the actual members are. Business? World leaders? Military? I don't know. Even my instructions come from a cut-out. All I know is that all my key decisions are made by twelve people part of something called the "Veteran's Committee."
Raid: The Veteran's Committee?
Pres: Yes. When I became president, I still.. did not feel right. I wanted TRUE power. I... I wanted to be a member of them.
Raid: And that justifies acts of terrorism?
Pres: Of course! I planned to use Metal Gear as a bargaining chip...
Raid: A bargaining chip?
Pres: But, I underestimated Solidus... he wants to CHALLENGE the Patriots! Even if it means ending life as we know it...
Raid: What are you saying?
Pres: Like it or not, but life without the Patriots... would be chaos. They control EVERYTHING. Can you imagine...
Raid: ...if everything I know and love ceased to operate?
Pres: Exactly. When I told Solidus that I wished to prevent destruction, he simply said pawns could not become players.
Raid: ...who IS Solidus?
Pres: My predecessor, Sam "Fisher" Sears. That's what the public knew him by, but I knew him by his codename, "Zero." I'm n--
Raid: Wait, wait, wait... Zero? Are we taking about the same guy?
Pres: Yes, yes, um... all this time, we have been saying "Zero," but in the script, he was called "Solidus."
Raid: ........did you just..
Pres: Break the fourth wall? Somewhat. I was fixing a plot hole, which must always be done at all costs.
Raid: Um.. okay, carry on.
Pres: Anyway, he comes from a group of his own, called the Ex Nowts. They all want the same thing-- to challenge the Patriots. Somehow, Zero became president, but fell out of grace with the Patriots about a few years ago...
Raid: A few years ago? ...CPAK!
Pres: Yes. The very development of Sumasshu went against the Patriots' plans, and Zero made things worse by sending in his own spy, Levity Nite, in to provoke Lam Mink and cause the infamous incident. However, he ended up revealing the existence of the genome army AND of Sumasshu, which REALLY made the Patriots mad. So, he lost his presidency.
Raid: I always thought he resigned...
Pres: The public story. He was fired, and I was selected to take his place.
Raid: So, the presidential race is all a myth? A show just for the public?
Pres: Indeed. The next scene in that show WAS Zero's untimely death, as his "health" would fail him. However, he was able to get underground with the help of Levity Nite. Eventually, he gained control of Splintered Cell, and has been waiting ever since...
Raid: Waiting for?
Pres: The completion of the new Metal Gear project. Once he has control of Metal Gear, the Patriots will be quite shocked, and he will actually pose a threat to them. So, he must be stopped...
Raid: Metal Gear is already operational...
Pres: I REALLY hate to say this, but... you're wrong. What you saw, I LOATHE to say... was not the project.
Raid: ...........................SHIT.
Pres: Mmhmm. That was just Metal Gear Eeksuu, hijacked two years ago.
Raid: Then... where IS the new Metal Gear?
Pres: You're standing in it.
Raid: Get outta town.
Pres: I am quite serious. You are currently in the upper structure of "Libfairy Gear."
Raid: "Libfairy?"
Pres: That's right. We're talking about a HUGE vessel filled with a couple hundred thousand nuclear warheads, all guarded by a horde of mass-produced Eeksuus.
Raid: M-mass-produced?!
Pres: A-yup. The Marines orignally designed Eeksuu as a countermeasure for all the Sumasshus, but the Patriots redesigned it to defend Libfairy.
Raid: So, anti-Metal Gears are defending the biggest Metal Gear of all?
Pres: Ironic, isn't it? That's not all. Libfairy contains access to the Military Network, giving it full control over the army.
Raid: What kind of idiotic weapon--
Pres: Weapon? No. You're not seeing the big picture. Libfairy is more than just a military tool... it is a way to preserve the world as the way it is. The Patriots feel threatened, you see...
Raid: Threatened?
Pres: By the digital age. They feel that, with the advent of digital information, the public has a chance to find out the truth. So, they designed Libfairy to be able to edit all that information as they see fit. They want to re-establish their power in society.
Raid: B-but... but...
Pres: I had hoped to use Libfairy as a bargaining chip, to try and get my own power. However, Zero has shown that he plans on using it to establish Inner-Outer Heaven... by utilizing the Compton Effect on Manhattan, he will disable the business systems in America, which will definitely pose a massive threat to the Patriots.
Raid: ..so.. what do I have to do?
Pres: You have to find Cheese. He's the only one who can stop Libfairy by now.
Raid: Cheese?
Pres: He should be in the Locker Room in B1 of this core. Once you find him, give him this.
[the president hands Raid a disc]
Pres: There's a virus on there. It's the only way to stop Libfairy.
[he turns around, and sighs]
Pres: Well, I've told you all you need to know. There's only one last thing left...
[he turns again, to face Raid]
Pres: Kill me.
Raid: Wha?!
Pres: They're going to need my confirmation soon! By doing this, you'll at least prevent a nuclear strike!
Raid: But... but...
Pres: DO IT!
[pause]
[GUNSHOT]
[the president drops to the ground; Raid is not wielding any weapons]
[Levity Nite, however, IS.]
Nite: That's abusing your right to free speech, Mister President.
[he blows away some smoke by the barrel of his gun]
Nite: Or should I say... Mister EX-President?
Raid: You.. why did you...
Nite: Alas, my finger must have slipped. I'll see you around, Carrier Boy.
[Levity Nite leaves the room]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, the president is dead.
Egg: I see... I'm sorry to hear that.
Raid: Where.. where do we go from here?
Egg: Well, your mission WAS to rescue the president, but, given the recent turn of events, you must honor the president's last directive. Raid, you must put a stop to Libfairy Gear.
Raid: Do you really think there IS a Libfairy, deep down in the ocean?
Egg: I do not have the proper clearance to prove that, but he was THE PRESIDENT! The freaking PRESIDENT!
Raid: And he was part of the terrorist plot.
Egg: All the more reason I believe his information was reliable.
Raid: What about that talk about the Patriots?
Cream: It's news to me. I'll look 'em up and see what I can find.
Egg: Find and rescue Cheese, Raid. He's in B1, the Locker Room!
Raid: Understood... Raid out.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: What's your status, Raid?
Raid: Shade, the president... he's dead.
Shade: WHAT?! And the nuclear launch codes?
Raid: He died before they could get them.
Shade: Oh, good. At least we prevented that.
Raid: But... Levity Nite killed him. He must have known that they needed him, but... why did he kill him?
Tails: Maybe they found another way to activate the nukes?
Shade: Or maybe they found a much cooler weapon within Libfairy Gear.
Raid: YOU KNEW ABOUT LIBFAIRY GEAR?!
Shade: Yeah.
Raid: Wh..why didn't you tell me?
Shade: You didn't ask.
Raid: Pardon me for assuming, but you also knew about the Big Shell being a front for it, right?
Shade: You mean, did I know that the Big Shell, a fully-functional environmental clean-up facility, was used to camoflauge Libfairy Gear? Yeah. I did.
Raid: Right... and when did you find out about all this?
Shade: It took a while, but we figured it out around the time you took out that mad bomber.
Raid: ..you really are a living legend.
[they spend a long, uneventful time recapping the tanker incident, with Shade explaining that Tails had provided a boat to save him after the tanker sunk; they also establish that Tails and Shade already knew about the Patriots]
Shade: Raid, you've got to save Cheese.
Raid: Got it. I'll do that.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 18: Botanicus Morivus Rescuum
NOTE: Yeah, from now on, chapters will be really long. Some might be normal length, but... most will be extended in length.
[so, Raid goes down to B1, and finds the whole place flooded]
Raid: Ugh, just my luck.
[he swims through]
[underwater, he opens a certain door, and out floats Shawn the Dark's dead body]
Raid: !!!
[he awkwardly swims around the body, and makes it through the submerged hallways]
[he then finds himself no longer underwater, instead above water on a platform/bridge thing]
[in front of him is the vampire guy]
Raid: Still tickin', huh?
Echo: Unfortunately, Hell had no vaccines.
["Echo (Echo)" appears on-screen]
[Raid shoots three shots; two are dodged, the third strikes Echo's cheek]
Echo: Heh.. as I thought. Muscles are so eloquent.. they point out every movement you make before you even make them.
[Echo scans Raid]
Echo: But, your muscles... your suit... you're kinda weird. This will be fun. Well worth the wait.
Raid: You knew I was coming?
Echo: I couldn't let you interfere with Libfairy.
[Echo points at the door behind him]
Echo: The chao is just ahead. He's no use to us now, though. He's so awkward. The boss thought he was a girl at first.
Raid: He's still alive?
Echo: Perhaps. Oh, and you thought that killing the president would prevent a nuclear strike?
Raid: But I didn't--
Echo: Libfairy still has a purified nitrogen bomb.
Raid: O SNAP...
Echo: Yes... Splintered Cell lost all credibility, all dignity, everything we ever had six months ago...
Raid: The public didn't listen to you, so you vowed to get revenge on the Patriots?
Echo: Exactly.
[BING BONG BING BONG]
Announcer: Final check for Libfairy complete. All non-essential employees, report to your stations.
Echo: Hmm.. sounds like Libfairy's ready.
[Echo points to the water below them]
Echo: This water isn't regular water, you know. It's all.. chemicals and stuff. No buoyancy. You go down, you don't come up.
[Raid gulps]
Echo: Take a look at your grave... 'cause it's the last thing you'll ever see.
[Echo charges forward; Raid shoots him in the face]
Echo: Ack!
[Echo falls over into the water]
Echo: ...well, this is quite ironic, isn't it? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[he sinks]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, they've finished the final check for Libfairy!
Egg: Quickly, save Cheese! You need to get that virus into the system!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid enters the locker room, and opens an odd locker; a chao wearing a bow tie falls out, crying]
?: St-stay away!
Raid: Calm down! I'm not one of them. I'm here to save you. Are you Cheese?
Cheese: ..*sniff*... yes...
["Cheese the Chao (Cheese)" appears on-screen]
Raid: Now then, the president told me you were the only one who could stop Libfairy.
Cheese: He... he did?
Raid: Yes. I need you to come with me to Shell 1. A certain Mister Prower is there, waiting for you.
Cheese: Tails? ...okay... I'll come.
[Cheese holds on to Raid as he swims back half of the way, then they stop by an opening for a breather]
Raid: You holding up okay?
Cheese: Yeah.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Hello?
Cream: Shadow... what are you doing?
Raid: I'm helping Cheese get back to Shell 1, where Mister Prower will--
Cream: LIAR! You're just trying to escape from the mission.
Raid: Wait.. what? Where the P Diddy did you get an idea like THAT?
Cream: I've seen this before.. in class, you'd always want to daydream, or escape from reality...
Raid: Well, yeah, but that was in class--
Cream: And that's what you're doing NOW! This mission's stressing you out, so you're using Cheese as a scapegoat to escape from reality!
Raid: Wha-huh? That doesn't make any logical sense, Cream.
Cream: It doesn't HAVE to! It's still TRUE!
Raid: But it's not! Don't forget that I'm saving CHEESE, YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Cream: I don't care!
Raid: ...you don't care?
Cream: I bet you still don't even remember what tomorrow is.
Raid: September 9th... I got it! It's your birthday, isn't it?
Cream: Not even close.
Raid: Well, what IS it, already?
Cream: Goodbye, Shadow.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: .......that was odd.
Cheese: What? What was odd?
Raid: Oh, don't worry about it. C'mon, we're nearly there.
[Raid leads Cheese through the rest of the underwater Strut]
[at the end of the water place, they decide to talk]
Raid: Cheese... uh... you made this virus thing, right?
Cheese: Yeah. It's actually more of a worm cluster than a virus, but.. yeah.
Raid: Will it really stop Libfairy?
Cheese: It SHOULD.. I mean, it should put a stop to Libfairy's data distribution system.
Raid: You know about the DDS?
Cheese: Of course-- I created it.
Raid: ......
Cheese: Cat gotcher tongue? Heh...
Raid: ..yeah. Pretty much. So, why.. I mean... what's up with the DDS?
Cheese: It's... really hard to explain, so I'll just give you an example. Think about the alphabet.
Raid: Okay.
Cheese: 26 letters, right? What if it were actually 30, but the Patriots simply limited the last four?
Raid: No way!
Cheese: It's not that farfetched of a theory. Think about the gene theorem and stuff.
Raid: Wasn't it, like... 40,000 genes to a human, or something?
Cheese: Yes, but when it was orignally announced, it was 100,000. What happened to the extra 60?
Raid: You don't mean...
Cheese: Oh, but I do. The Patriots simply altered the reports to say 40,000.
Raid: But there were reports and research...
Cheese: Which were all altered, as well.
Raid: But.. but...
Cheese: The DDS is complex, simple, AND effective. It will shape the world the way the Patriots see fit.
Raid: So, what we're talking about here is basically one big censorship system?
Cheese: Hmm....... pretty much, yeah.
Raid: So, so... so.. Libfairy is simply the guard for the DDS?
Cheese: I guess you could say that, yeah.
Raid: ...uh... let's get back to moving.
Cheese: Okay.
[so, they resume moving]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, I need to let you know...
Raid: Yep?
Egg: Remember, the connecting bridge is down?
Raid: Crap, I completely forgot. How will we get across, then?
Egg: There should be an oil slick down by the water... think of it as a really weird bridge of sorts.
Raid: Ah. Thanks, Doctor.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: Uh... how are you on heights, Cheese?
Cheese: Can't say I like them. Why?
Raid: We're gonna have to go down a little.
Cheese: How much is "a little?"
[Raid opens up a hatch; a LONG ladder extends a long way down]
Raid: About 130 feet.
Cheese: .......wonderful.
Raid: I'll go first. Just don't look down, okay?
[they slowly descend the ladder, and reach the bottom]
Chapter 19: Botanicus Echovus Returnum
[the oil slick... yeah, it's kind of a really weird bridge]
[also, by this point, it's sunset. Just letting you know.]
[along the oil slick are a bunch of enemy sentries and soldiers]
Raid: Crap.
Cheese: Why do I not like the sound of that?
Raid: The oil slick bridge thing can only support about one of us at a time.
Cheese: Great.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Uh... Shade?
Shade: Yep? What's the problem?
Raid: We're at the oil slick... and it can only support one of us at a time.
Shade: Oh, I see what your problem is. And all the enemies are there, too...
Raid: Yeah.
Shade: ...you've got a PSG1, right?
Raid: Uhhhh...
Shade: ..SNIPER RIFLE, genius.
Raid: OH! Yeah, I got that!
Shade: Good. Take care of the enemies from a distance. It's not so hard now, is it?
Raid: I guess not. Thanks.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: Cheese...
Cheese: I don't like the sound of that.
Raid: You're gonna have to go first. I'll clear the enemies with sniper fire.
Cheese: Sniper fire. Great.
Raid: Just go!
[Cheese goes across the bridge as Raid clears the enemies out of the way]
[he's almost there when...]
Cheese: ACK!
[Echo appears out of nowhere and grabs him; he points a knife to his throat]
Raid: Oh, boy... what should I do?!
[BANG!]
[Echo slowly drops into the water, a sniper bullet in his forehead]
[the camera turns to show Shade at the other side, a sniper rifle in his hands]
Shade: Yeah wut.
[Cheese stands still for a bit, and then waddles across the rest of the bridge to Shade, where he then collapses]
Raid: Oh, no!
[Raid runs across the bridge, and gets there]
Raid: What happened?
Shade: It seems... Echo was able to get a stab in. To his stomach.
Raid: Aw, jeez...
Shade: He's still alive. C'mon, if we hurry, we might be able to still do this.
[they make it to a computer room where Tails is waiting]
[they explain the situation, and Cheese musters up enough strength to do all the virus stuff]
[he then lies on the floor]
Cheese: ...Tails...
Tails: I'm here, Cheese... I'm here...
Shade: Psst.. Raid?
Raid: Yeah?
Shade: Look at the screen.
[Raid, Shade, and Tails look at the screen, which shows a blue screen with lots and lots of words on it]
[their eyes are wide]
Raid: What... what happened? Did Cheese do it wrong, or something?
Tails: No, I'm sure he did it right... maybe the Patriots altered the disc.
Cheese: Tails... is everything alright?
[Tails looks at Cheese, then looks at the Blue Screen of Death, then back at Cheese]
Tails: Um........ yeah, everything's fine.
Raid: Shade, what if the virus doesn't work?
Shade: Then we'll get aboard Libfairy and do some "hacking," ourselves. Besides, I've always wanted to talk to Zero again.
Cheese: Tails... can you do me a favor?
Tails: Sure, sure, Cheese... anything.
Cheese: ...tell Cream..... how I died... tell her I love her, and always will.....
Tails: Oh, no, Cheese, we're getting you out of here; I promise.
[Cheese goes limp]
Tails: ...Cheese?
[no response]
Tails: ........Cheese?!
[no response]
Tails: CHEESE! *sob* NO.. Cheese....
[the camera pans backwards as Tails sobs, while Shade and Raid just stand by the computer, eyes closed]
[BING BONG BING BONG!]
Announcer: Attention! Libfairy is ready for launch. All personnel, evacuate the upper floors immediately!
Shade: Crap. Sounds like they're cutting this place loose.
Raid: We'd better get down there before this thing takes off.
Tails: What about the hostages?
Shade: Otakit, you take care of them. Okay?
Tails: But.. I should be down there. You're saying I'll only get in your way.
Shade: Wrong. I'm saying only you can save those hostages. Their lives are depending on you.
Tails: ....okay, Shade. I understand. I'll save them.
[they walk to an elevator that goes down to Libfairy]
Shade: This is the place.
Tails: Good luck, you two.
Shade: Thanks, Otakit. You, too.
Raid: Now, how are we gonna open this thing?
Shade: You can come out now!
[the ninja/Mr. X guy falls from the ceiling]
Raid: You! What are you...
X: Libfairy is about to launch.
[Mister X points his katana at Raid]
Shade: Get ready, Raid. We've got to do this.
Raid: Now you're switching sides?!
Shade: I don't recall ever saying I was on yours.
Raid: Crap.
[Mister X taps the side of his helmet, and it goes transparent, revealing the female Shade inside]
Raid: What the--
[SShade knocks Raid out with her sword]
[the screen abruptly goes black]
Chapter 20: In the Belly of the Beast
[cut to Raid's point of view; things are blurry, and bright lights are above him]
[voices of Zero and Levity Nite are heard]
Zero: Is he still alive?
Nite: He was when Shade (female) brought him in. I've checked everything on this guy-- genomes, DNA, information-- nada.
[Raid tries to shake his head, but is too tired]
Nite: He doesn't exist in any database. He's a nonexistant character from a nonexistant organization.
Zero: I suspected as much. However, I know this chao. Wake him up.
[whatever platform Raid is resting on lowers, and turns to a weird angle to face Zero and Levity Nite]
[Zero now has two Doctor Octapus-esque tentacles as a part of his exoskeleton, and things are no longer blurry]
[oh, and Zero has an eye patch and a monocle now, instead of goggles]
Zero: It's been a while, hasn't it? ...Shadow Eater.
Nite: You know this fellow?
Zero: Of course I do. My, how you have grown...
[one of Zero's tentacles grabs Raid's neck]
Zero: A lot of cerebral implants... have they altered your MEMORY, too?
[Zero lets go; the camera switches to third-person, showing that Shadow is strapped to a torture table thing, and is naked]
Zero: This is my chao. Shadow... I thought I'd never see you again...
Raid: You.. know me?
Zero: You don't remember? Your moves, your skills, your techniques... everything you've ever known, you've learned from me.
[Zero clears some space]

Don't you remember the many years back then? You were one of the greatest child soldiers the world has ever known... you fought in that stupid Dark Army of Shade's, but you were still a child soldier. Your expert gunfighting and sharpshooting earned you such nicknames as "The Green Devil" and "Shadow Eater." I was your owner. I raised you since you were in a little, green egg. However, when the wars ended, you.. you disappeared. For one thing, you appeared in episodes less and less, and.. it was almost as if you were changing completely. I should have known they would recruit you. 

[the camera switches back to first-person view of Raid]
Nite: It's an interesting coincidence.
Zero: If he's a lackey for the Patriots, I doubt he knows anything of interest.
Nite: What shall we do with him, then?
Zero: We'll do what you suggested.
Nite: And Splintered Cell?
Zero: Ignore them.
[Levity's arm twitches]
Zero: Finally happening?
Nite: It was bound to happen sooner or later... could it mean that he's here, too?
Zero: We'll raise security. How are the reports?
Nite: All is going well.
Zero: Excellent.. soon, we'll show the world the true power of Libfairy...
[Levity takes a look at Zero's eyepatch]
Nite: You know, you're a splitting image of the bossman, himself.
Zero: Is that so? *laughs* In that case, I guess I should thank this kid for that.
[Zero leaves the room]
Nite: Hmm.. this situation is very nostalgic.
Raid: Ugh... where am I?
Nite: Why, you're inside Libfairy Gear, of course.
[Levity holds up the disc Raid used to have]
Nite: I'll just take this, seeing as how you won't need it anymore.
[the female Shade walks in, in military clothes]
Nite: Hmph. A foul wind is blowing. We will meet again, Shadow.
[Levity leaves the room]
SShade: Stay where you are. We're being watched on a camera.
Raid: What are you up to?
SShade: I'm switching over to nanocommunications. Y'know.. Codec.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Mister X? ..Ninja?
SShade: Yes, that was me.
Raid: Why are you also a Russian commander?
SShade: That was just a smokescreen.
Raid: A smokescreen? For what?
SShade: I was sent to provide you support.
Raid: Support? Who sent you? The Doctor?
SShade: The Patriots.
Raid: Wha?
SShade: Well, I have no choice. They have my kid brother... and will kill him if I don't help you.
Raid: Your kid brother?
SShade: Yes. (The one she once called "Shade Junior," but.. uh... it's a different one.)
Raid: That's horrible...
SShade: Indeed, it is. Once a month, they will send me a photograph of him, to show me how he's doing...
Raid: Ugh, that's evil. I don't think anybody can blame you for what you did.
SShade: That's your opinion.
Raid: What about Shade? ...Solid Shade, I mean.
SShade: I joined forces with him around the time you were rescuing Cheese.
Raid: Why?
SShade: Well, if Zero gets away with Libfairy, your mission will be a failure. The Patriots will say I failed, too, and...
Raid: Oh... but... why would the Patriots want to help me? Are they hoping I'll take Zero out?
SShade: No. You're just like me... we're just pawns.
Raid: Pawns for what purpose?
SShade: The S3 plan.
Raid: The what?
SShade: You'll figure it out sooner or later... but I wonder if you can handle the truth? Anyway, Zero has to be stopped.
Raid: What about the virus?
SShade: No effect so far. I think the Patriots tampered with it.
Raid: So, uh... can you release me?
SShade: I'll let you go once I leave the room. Shade has your stuff. He's out in one of the hangars.
Raid: Does Shade plan to destroy Libfairy Gear?
SShade: No. Even for Shade, it would be impossible. He just plans to take care of Zero and his men.
Raid: And you?
SShade: I will stay concealed... I don't want anyone to find out about me.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[she leaves the room]
[pause]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Shadow, are you alright?
Raid: I guess. I'm not dead; that counts for something.
Cream: Shadow, is it true? What Zero said?
Raid: ...yes.
Cream: That's horrible... baby chao going off to war?
Raid: It happens a lot more than you think. If we survived the day's fight, we'd get praise, food, and a bed.
Cream: Oh, my...
Raid: Of course, this was actually before Shade was in command. Zero didn't mention the days I spent in the Chao World...
Cream: On that savage planet?
Raid: Yes... we were shapen into the perfect war machines. I wasn't like Shade. I didn't question why we fought.
Cream: Why not?
Raid: If we questioned, we were shot.
Cream: Eep.
Raid: When the civil war ended... the one on Chao World... most of us were sent to villages to live there.
Cream: But you weren't, were you?
Raid: No. I was an exceptional soldier, so they sent me to the Gardens...
Cream: Well..... um...
Raid: Now I know why the Patriots wanted ME to kill Zero. I'm the perfect war machine... only I can do this.
Cream: Shadow, please don't talk like that...
Raid: But, it's true.
Cream: I haven't even told you about...... never mind. Say no more. Please.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 21: Aboard Libfairy
[Raid is let go from his torture table thing, and exits into the hallway, completely naked]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, you must continue your m-mission.
Raid: I need to find Shade first. He has my gear.
Egg: He was never a factor in the simulation. Leave him out of this.
Raid: I can't do much naked, especially in this absurdly cold temperature.
Egg: That's true. ...but, it's not THAT cold.
Raid: I think Shade has my gear.
Egg: Raid, you must take our Zero and his men. Recover Libfairy intact.
Raid: ..Doctor, are you under orders from the Patriots?
Egg: Your role-- that is, mission-- is to infiltrate the structure and disarm the terrorists--
Raid: Role? Why do you keep saying that?
Egg: Why not? This IS a type of role-playing game. Metal Gear Solid 2. I expect you to put up an awesome performance.
Raid: ..........Doctor, I just remembered something.
Egg: What is it?
Raid: I've never met you in person before!
Egg: Complete your mission according to the simulation!
Raid: Doctor, who are you?
Egg: We have Cream.
Raid: What do you mean by that?
Egg: Over and out.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid continues moving through the hallway]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, turn the console off right now!
Raid: Console-- wait, what?
Egg: The mission was a failure! Cut the power right now!
Raid: Doctor, what's wrong with you?
Egg: Don't worry. It's just a game. ..just a script. Like usual.
Cream: You'll hurt your eyes reading this script so close to the computer.
Raid: What are you talking about?
Egg: Raid, something odd happened to me last night as I was driving home...
Raid: You can drive?
Egg: I saw this object in the sky.. it glowed a bright, orange light... then BAM! It was gone.
Raid: ........
Egg: Now, what do you think happened to me?
Raid: ...what are you talking about?
Egg: *sigh* Never mind.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid keeps walking]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: RAID
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: What the..
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: The purple-backed gorilla from Mars likes to shove bananas filled with uranium up anything that moves. I NEED SCISSORS! 61!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: ...*laughter*
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: The MASTER Chief, Shadow the Hedgehog, is being held in the B1 prison cell. Go! And rescue him!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Shadow...
Raid: Oh. Hi, Cream.
Cream: I owe you an apology...
Raid: If it's for the conversation earlier, don't worry about it. I'M the one who's sorry.
Cream: No... me being your teacher at Day Care wasn't just a coincidence. I was ordered to keep an eye on you...
Raid: No way...
Cream: ..by the Patriots.
Raid: So... so you're a spy?
Cream: It's not like I'm Rouge the Bat, or anything.... sure, I kept tabs on everything you did, but that was just part of the job...
Raid: Was letting me sleep in your bed because I was having nightmares just "part of the job," too?
Cream: N-no! I swear, Shadow, I grew fond of you... you are a nice chao...
Raid: I can't believe this.. no matter where I go, I get used.
Cream: Please, Shadow... I still want to be your friend. I want to teach you how to live... how to love...
Raid: This is just... I mean... that would explain why they selected you to be the mission analyst at the last minute!
Cream: Please, I know what I did was wrong...
Raid: Forget it. I.. I don't know what to think anymore.
[ShEEEOOSH!]
[Raid continues walking]
Shade: Amazing how you can walk around like that, completely naked and all...
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there, wearing his bandanna and no navy suit]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
Raid: Shade!
Shade: Been waiting long?
Raid: *sneeze*
[Shade gives him back his gear, and he gets dressed]
Chapter 22: Back in Gear
Shade: Sorry about earlier. I had to use you as bait to get into Libfairy.
Raid: Why didn't you tell me about the female Shade?
Shade: You didn't ask. *grin*
Raid: *sigh*
Shade: Still mad about that? Get over it.
Raid: ...any effects of the virus yet?
Shade: Not yet. And from the looks of it, Zero's taking this baby to Manhattan. Oh, and there's a room full of Eeksuus ahead.
Raid: How many?
Shade: She-Shade says about twenty-five, give or take.
Raid: TWENTY-FIVE?!
Shade: Sure, I've never fought that many at once before, but... we can deal.
[Shade pulls out a katana]
Shade: By the way, she asked me to give this to you.
[Raid takes the blade, and swings it around a bit]
Raid: Awesome.
Shade: Now, c'mon. Let's do this.
[they move on]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Shade, Raid!
Shade: Otakit! How are the hostages?
Tails: Taken care of. How are things on your end?
Shade: We're managing.
Raid: Hey, Otakit... what do you know about the Doctor?
Tails: Just what Wikipedia tells me about Doctor Who.
Raid: No, not THAT Doctor; I mean Eggman.
Tails: Oh. Well.. why?
Raid: My last transmission with him was a little... strange.
Tails: Interference?
Raid: No, nothing like that... just... strange.
Tails: I see. I'll dig around a little.
Raid: Thanks.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[in the next room, a camera spots them, and tons of Libfairy Soldiers come and fight them; they escape into another hallway]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Raid, I did some digging around about Eggman. I found out where he is.
Raid: Well, where is he?
Tails: Inside Libfairy.
Raid: Wh..what?
Tails: I've done a lot of thinking, but it all comes back to Libfairy. The origin of the calls-- not the relay point, but the ORIGIN-- was Libfairy. That, and the encryption codes were the exact same ones the DDS uses.
Raid: So... so.... so what?
Tails: You've been talking to an AI. While Eggman, himself, isn't an AI, Libfairy probably created this one.
Raid: Of course, with the Patriots and stuff like that...
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[they keep walking for a bit]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, they've got Cream! They've got her in the holds!
Shade: Don't listen to him, Raid. It's a trap.
Cream: Shadow, help me!
Raid: But...
Shade: RAID!
Raid: *sigh* It's all in my head... it's all in my head.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[they make it to the next room, and are ambushed by Libfairy soldiers]
[of course, they're no match for Solid Shade and Raid, are they?]
[then, suddenly...]
Honey: It's been a long wait, Solid Shade... the root of all my sorrows.
[A WILD HONEY APPEARS]
[RAID USED GASP]
[SHADE USED BADASSERY]
Honey: You left everyone, Shade... the Gardens, CPAK... everyone was wondering where you were.
Shade: I went underground after the tanker incident.
Honey: You left us. My sorrows... the only reason to live is to see it end. The wait is almost over...
Raid: You can't be serious about firing the nukes!
Honey: Since no one can kill me, I may as well kill everyone else. ..starting with you, Shade.
Shade: Raid, get out of here.
[Raid starts climbing a ladder]
Shade: You want eternal rest? I got it riiiiight here.
Chapter 24: Raid Versus the Metal Gear Eeksuus
[cut to Raid atop a circular platform, his surroundings are nothing but blackness]
[Zero's voice is heard]
Zero: Shadow, I've been watching you fight. It seems you remember the good old days... or is it one of the S3 Plan's proud achievements?
Raid: What are you talking about?
Zero: S3 stands for Solid Shade Simulation. Levity Nite discovered these plans among Libfairy's databanks.
Raid: Solid Shade Simulation?
Zero: Yes.. it seems the Patriots wanted to recreate their perfect soldier via means of VR... sound familiar?
Raid: *gasp* No way...
Zero: ya wai. I had to put a stop to their "agent" before his final mission was complete.
[Zero appears on the platform]
Zero: No more games, Raid. I'm through playing them.
[THUD!]
[Raid slowly and fearfully turns around]
[three Metal Gear Eeksuus are looking at him]
Zero: I've given you a worthy opponent, but now you can die like the little Shadowy boy I once knew!
[Zero disappears, and Raid is left there with the Eeksuus]
Raid: I really doubt I'll be able to survive this...
[he pulls out a rocket launcher]
Raid: That is, without this old baby.
[he fires three rockets at one Eeksuu; it collapses]
Raid: Ha! This won't be so tough.
[THUD! another one takes its place]
Raid: ...this is gonna be fun.
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! COLLAPSE! THUD! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! COLLAPSE! THUD! BOOM! THUD! BOOM! THUD! BOOM! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!]
[he is surrounded by Eeksuus]
Raid: It's no use!
Zero: I expected you to put up more of a fight than THAT, Shadow.
[an Eeksuu raises its foot to crush Raid; the female Shade drops down in front of him; the Eeksuu backs off]
Zero: So, you've finally decided to show yourself.
SShade: Raid, get out of here.
Raid: But, your brother--
SShade: The Patriots are monitoring YOUR life status. If you die, my brother dies.
[BANG! SShade falls to the ground, dead]
Zero: I see. So THAT'S why you sold your troops out to me.
Raid: SHAAAAAAADE!
Zero: Now, let's return to where this fight left off. Shall we?
[the Eeksuus shake around, eyes red]
Zero: What the?
[the Eeksuus surround Zero]
Zero: What's going on?!
[Levity's voice is heard on a loudspeaker]
Nite: It would seem that Libfairy's AI is out of control. Perhaps some sort of virus?
Zero: The Patriots?
Nite: I.. I don't know!
Zero: Levity, what did you do?!
Nite: Nothing, I swear! The system's on an emergency ascent course!
[the Eeksuus move in]
Zero: Get the fuck away from me.
[Zero hops up and rips the circuitry from one Eeksuu; it collapses]
[he tears right through another; it collapses]
[finally, he shoots the legs off of the last one; it collapses]
Zero: CURSE THE PATRIOTS!
[he then uses a tentacle to pick Raid up]
Zero: You still have some use...
Honey: I've captured Solid Shade.
Zero: You have?
[Honey enters, shoving Shade through]
[Raid passes out]
Chapter 25: A List of Names
[Raid wakes up on top of Libfairy; Levity Nite, Zero, Honey, and Shade are there, as well as an inactive Eeksuu]
Zero: Are you awake yet, Shadow?
Raid: Ugh...
Zero: You were able to corrupt Libfairy's AI. I underestimated you.
[Zero grabs Raid with a tentacle]
Zero: I'll just squeeze the answers out of you, instead.
[after a while, he drops him]
Honey: Why are you messing with him? You know he doesn't know anything.
Zero: It's not him I want the answers from...
Honey: What do you mean?
Zero: None of your business.
Honey: Oh, really? It just so happens that I have my own business to attend to.
[she turns and walks away]
Zero: Planning on hijacking Libfairy, are you?
[she stops abruptly]
Zero: I'm not gonna let you screw me over THAT easily.
Honey: Who talked? Levity?
Zero: Not exactly. I'm the one who told him to give you the idea in the FIRST place.
[she slowly turns]
Honey: What?
Zero: I was planning on GIVING you Libfairy, anyway.
Honey: Why the uncharacteristic generosity, Zero?
Zero: I'm no philanthropist; Libfairy is FAR from impregnable. It needs THOUSANDS of guards, warheads, ground, air and sea support, and can you imagine all the PLUBMING I'd have to do? Against a large attack force, Libfairy is nothing more than a giant COFFIN. No, seizing Libfairy was never the main objective.
Honey: Then... what WAS the main objective?
Zero: A list of names.
Honey: Whose names?
Zero: Well, since the Patriots were going digital, that means they must have put EVERYTHING in the AI. That includes the list of names of the twelve highest members of the Veteran's Committee!
Honey: I see... you were planning on picking them off, one-by-one, while we drew their fire with Libfairy.
Zero: Exactly.
Honey: You were using us.
Zero: Not unlike how you were using me. At least, PLANNING to.
Honey: But, your plan's hit a little snag with the DDS gone, huh?
Zero: Not exactly. There is another way.
Honey: Really? Ah, but I don't care. The purified nitrogen bomb is still here. I can still use it.
Zero: I won't stop you. That's what you intended to do all along.
Honey: Thank you. I shall use it well, too.
[she turns and walks away, but this time is stopped by Levity Nite's laughter]
Honey: What's so funny?
Nite: You, all of you, have been playing along to a little script...
Honey: *turns around* A little script? What do you mean?
Nite: Everything you guys are doing has been planned.. an exercise planned by us.
Zero: Exercise?
Nite: Yes, the S3 plan was designed to create an equal to Solid Shade, but the VR training was just the icing on the cake.
Zero: ...icing?
Nite: You think this terrorist scheme was all YOUR doing, Zero? It is really just a well-orchestrated rendition of CPAK.
Zero: WHAT?!
Nite: I'll clear some space.

Ames' and the president's deaths-- you didn't think that they were just a coincidence? They represented the MASTER Chief's and the CPAK Principal's deaths. Ames' own nanomachines were used to shut down his pacemaker. The president, while knowing what was going on, still chose to play out his alloted part. The virus.. well.. don't worry too much about that one, except for the fact that it was designed to erase every scrap of Patriot-related information from the database. In short, your plan was a failure before you even decided to execute it, Zero.

Fatcham was a different story. He was just there to test the boy's progress, and see if he was prepared to activate the test proper. We had to coax him into doing it; Shawn was here just for that purpose. We left no room for error. If the boy had failed to defeat Fatcham, and destroyed the facility in the process, then the exercise would have ended there.

Given the right situation, the right story, anyone can be shaped into somebody like Shade. Even rookies, like Shadow. You, the female Shade, Splintered Cell-- you were all just pawns in this brilliant simulation. Zero, you and Shadow were chosen for the job because your relationship resembled that of Shade and the big ol' boss, himself. Splintered Cell was chosen because they were the closest thing to Beaten Graves.

Honey, you were told that the eradification of Splintered Cell six months ago was the work of the Patriots. We worked so hard to get you vengeful and filled with hatred... and you opted for revenge, just as planned. 

Honey: All orchestrated?
Nite: Except for the appearance of Solid Shade. I wonder who sent you?
[Honey points her SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Levity]
Honey: All our misfortune was just part of your plan...
Chapter 26: To Manhattan
[Levity shoots Honey in the chest-- he does not miss]
Honey: ACK! You... how did you...
Nite: You're no Lady Luck. You have been shielded by the Patriots since Day One, thanks to electromagnets and such.
Honey: I could have died whenever I wanted to...?
[Honey stands up, and aims the gun at him]
Nite: Huh? I thought I shot you in the heart...
[she shoots him, and misses]
Nite: Oh, that's right; YOUR heart's on the right.
[once more, she misses]
Nite: Yeah, your luck's run out, Honey. I have on me right now the very same electromagnetic field YOU did.
[she collapses]
Zero: Why, you...
[Zero pulls out a minigun and fires all the bullets, and misses every one of them]
[Levity hops up, into Eeksuu's cockpit; it starts up]
[Zero pulls out two swords]
[Eeksuu fires some bullets at him; he smoothly deflects all of them]
[one bullet hits Shade's handcuffs (which I forgot to mention), setting him free]
Nite: How's THIS, then?
[Eeksuu aims its missles at them]
Shade: Aw, crap.
[Honey gets up, and stands in front of Eeksuu]
Zero: Get out of here, Honey; you'll die in an instant!
Nite: Heh, your luck's run out, like I said. You want your reward? Okay, I'll give you all the payload Eeksuu's got!
[he fires all his missles at Honey; they all miss and are sent into the ocean (above which, they're flying)]
Shade: She really IS Lady Luck...
[Honey stumbles forward and coughs]
Honey: Forgive me, Shade... for I have hated the wrong person all this time...
[Honey dies]
[the front of Eeksuu opens up, revealing a huge cannon]
Zero: Oh, boy.
[suddenly, Levity's arm twitches]
Nite: No! Not now!
[Eeksuu stands up; Levity hops out, and speaks in a considerably different, calm, darker-ish voice]
Nite: Life... life is coarsing through my veins...... finally. *deep inhale* I can FINALLY.... LIVE!
Zero: Who are you?
Nite: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
Shade: Ah, don't tell me you're another Beta...
Nite: No. No, I'm not a Beta.
Shade: GOOD!
Nite: My name... is JOE.
Shade: ....are you SURE you're not a Beta?
Nite: Okay, so TECHNICALLY.. I was the ORIGINAL JOE, but I was also present in the days before DCA.
Shade: ...okay, so I won't get mad THIS TIME.
Nite: You know, Shade.. I was the one who gave you and Tails that anonymous tip regarding Metal Gear on the tanker.
Shade: Ah, so evil!
Nite: And now, I'm off to kill the Patriots. Tara!
[he hops back into Eeksuu, and jumps off Libfairy]
Shade: JOE!
[Shade follows, and jumps off, too]
Raid: SHADE!
[Libfairy then enters Manhattan, and slowly goes down and down; Raid and Zero fall off]
[they land atop a Gamestop, at about... 10 AM, I guess]
Zero: *laughter*
Raid: What are you laughing at?
Zero: Do you know what today is?
Raid: ...September 9th.
Zero: That's right. For one thing, Hughie Thomasson died on September 9th, 2007. *sigh* Rest in peace, Hughie.
Raid: He was an awesome guitarist...
Zero: Yes..... but, also, today, the Beatles: Rock Band is released, as well as the remasters of all the Beatles albums!
Raid: *gasp* There will be thousands of people heading to Gamestops worldwide!
Zero: YES! The perfect moment for Libfairy to strike-- when the nation is distracted by British music!
Raid: All you want is power...
Zero: I don't want power, Shadow. I want to take back everything the Patriots took away! Liberation, freedom... that stuff.
Raid: That stuff wouldn't even exist without the Patriots.
Zero: Hmmhmm... perhaps. But, is that really the best way to live? Under their silent rule?
Raid: Well...
Zero: And soon to be under their OBVIOUS rule! We would all become the "Sons of Libfairies!"
Chapter 27: A Talk with the Patriots
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Uh... hold on just a bit, okay, Zero? I gotta take this.
Zero: Okay, go ahead.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, are you recieving? We're still here.
Raid: How is that possible?! The AI was destroyed!
Egg: Only DDS.
Raid: Who... who are you?
Egg: We were formed by the White House, you could say. Everything moral and disciplinary of America, that's us.
Raid: Cut the crap! If you're immortal, why would you censor everything?
Egg: Calm down, Shadow. We have only YOUR interests, not ours, in mind.
Raid: What?
Cream: SIT DOWN AND LISTEN LIKE A GOOD BOY, OKAY?! LIKE A GOOD BOY!
Raid: Ack!
Egg: The mapping of the human genome was completed early this century, and in theorem, the evolutionary cycle was in front of us.
Cream: We were able to essentially digitize life, itself.
Egg: But there are some things not covered by digital information.
Raid: Like wha--
Cream: LIKE A GOOD BOY!
Raid: Sorry!
Egg: Memories, ideas, culture... HISTORY!
Cream: Genes don't contain any trace of history.
Egg: Is history something that should not be passed on? Something that should be left to the mercy of nature?
Cream: We've always kept records of our history, in stuff like books, television, the internet...
Egg: But not all the information was inherited by future generations. Only a select portion of it. Like genes.
Cream: That's what history is, Shadow.
Egg: But in the current, digitized world, trivial information is gathering. Never deleted, just... gathering.
Cream: Rumors about petty issues, misinterpretations, slander...
Egg: All this junk data, preserved in an untouched state, growing at an alarming rate.
Cream: It will only slow down social progress, and hinder the pace of evolution.
Egg: Shadow, you seem to think our plan is one of censorship.
Raid: Are you telling me it's NOT--
Cream: SIT DOWN, YOU PUNK! BE A GOOD BOY FOR A CHANGE!
Raid: Yes, ma'am!
Cream: We want to CREATE context, not CHANGE it.
Raid: Create?
Egg: The digital society furthers human flaws and selectively rewards the development of convenient half-truths.
Cream: Billions spent on new weapons in order to humanely murder otherhumans.
Egg: Rights of criminals are given more respect than the privacy of their victims.
Cream: Although poverty still exists in great numbers, people still spend their money to save endangered species.
Egg: Everyone grows up being told the same thing. "Be nice to each other!"
Cream: "But beat out the competition!"
Egg: "You're special!" "Believe in yourself, and you will succeed!"
Cream: But it's so obvious from the start that very few will succeed.
Egg: You exercise your right to "freedom" and this is the result. Confused morality, political "correctness..."
Cream: Everyone withdraws into their own gated community, afraid of the larger forum outside...
Egg: Their truths are let out into the real world. All these conflicting truths exist, but none are challenged.
Cream: The biggest case of cognitive dissonance EVER. Not even natural selecton can occur here!
Egg: And this is the way the world ends. Not with a BAAAAANG, but with a.....whimper...
Cream: We're trying to stop this from happening.
Egg: This is our responsibility as rulers. We must filter out all the unnecessary information in order to continue evolution.
Raid: And you think you are qualified to do that?
Cream: Grr...
Raid: ......sir, and ma'am?
Cream: That's better.
Egg: Absolutely. Who else could wade through all that garbage you produce, and find the useful information?
Cream: That is what is known as "creating context."
Raid: I'll decide what do believe, myself, thank you! ...sir and ma'am!
Egg: But is that really your own idea?
Cream: Or something Shade told you?
Egg: That's the proof of your incompetence, right there.
Raid: But I have the right--
Cream: Does something like a "self" exist inside you?
Egg: That which you call "self" serves as nothing more than a mask to cover your own being.
Cream: In this era of ready-made "truths," "self" is just something used to preserve those positive emotions that you occasionally feel...
Egg: Another possibility is that "self" is a concept you conveniently borrowed under the logic that it would endow you with some sense of strength...
Raid: That's crap!
Egg: Is it? Would you rather have someone else tell you?
Cream: Shadow, you're awesome! You rule! And you got to be so awesome all by yourself!
Raid: ........
Egg: Oh, what happened? Do you feel lost? Why not try a bit of soul-searching?
Cream: Don't think you'll find anything, though...
Egg: Isn't it ironic that whenever something good happens, it's yourself, but if it's bad, it's something else?
Cream: "It's not my fault. It's not your fault."
Egg: It's denial. You look for more convenient truths, and Al Gore, to make you feel better.
Cream: Leaving behind in an instant the so-called "truth" you once embraced.
Egg: Should someone like that be able to decide what is "truth?"
Cream: Should someone like you even have the right to decide?
Egg: You've done nothing but abuse your freedom.
Cream: You don't deserve to be free!
Egg: We're not the ones smothering the world. You are.
Cream: The individual is supposed to be weak, but far from powerless-- one person could ruin the whole world.
Egg: And the advent of the digital age has given too much power to the individual. Too much power for an immature species.
Cream: People used to struggle to build a legacy. Now, we do all the thinking for them.
Egg: We are your guardians, after all. And, in the case of chao, your OWNERS.
Raid: You want to control thought? Behavior?
Egg: Of course. Anything can be quantified nowadays. That's what this exercise was designed to prove.
Cream: You grew attatched to me, after all, didn't you? I was your teacher in Day Care.
Egg: Levity Nite was not told the whole truth, to say the least.
Cream: We rule an entire nation -- of what interest would a single soldier, no matter how able, be to us?
Egg: The S3 Plan does not stand for Solid Shade Simulation. What it does stand for is Selection for Societal Sanity... the S3 is a system for controlling human will and consciousness. S3 is not you, a soldier trained in the image of Solid Snake. It is a method, a protocol, that created a circumstance that made you what you are.
Cream: WE are the S3 plan, not YOU.
Egg: What you experienced was the final test of its effectiveness.
Raid: That's crazy.
Egg: You heard what the President said.
[Eggman's voice changes to that of the president]
Pres: The Libfairy's "DDS" system is the key to their supremacy.
[his voice changes back]
Egg: Our goal was to establish such a method. We used CPAK as a paradigm for the test.
Cream: I wonder if you'd have preferred a fantasy setting?
Egg: We chose that for its extreme circumstances. If you could solve it, you could do anything. And now, we have our proof.
Raid: ...argh.
Egg: There are plenty of other reasons behind your selection. Zero raised plenty of chao soldiers-- why you?
Raid: Uh.. I don't know.
Egg: It was because you were the only one who refused to acknowledge the past. You turn your back on anything you dislike.
Cream: You do whatever you like, and see only what you want-- for yourself, alone.
Egg: Yes, Cream can attest to that. You see, you are the perfect representation of the masses we want to protect.
Cream: You obeyed our orders, like a good boy. You listened, and did as you were told.
Egg: The real objective behind this was to ensure that we could generate and manipulate feelings, beliefs, and reality.
Cream: Were we successful? Of course.
Egg: Well, I think that's enough talk. It's time for your final test. Raid, take Zero down.
Raid: Think again! I'm through doing what I'm told!
Egg: Are you sure you're not forgetting something?
[he manipulates his voice to sound like SShade]
SShade: If you die, my brother dies.
[back to normal]
Egg: Termination of your vital signs will result in the execution of that chao. Not to mention Cream. She's wired the same.
Raid: Cream... is she even real?
Cream: Of course I am, Shadow! You've got to beLIEve me!
Raid: Dang...
Egg: It will be a fight to the death.
Cream: Zero, at least, wants you dead.
Egg: We will collect the remaining data from this last test, then deem the exercise closed.
Raid: WAIT! I have one last question...
Egg: Well, alright. We may as well let you ask.
Raid: What.. what about DCA? I heard Levity Nite say it would end... is that true?
Egg: ...
Cream: ...
Egg: DCA must live on.
Cream: Yes, it must.
Egg: That is the answer you had hoped to hear, correct? Well, it's WRONG. DCA must end.
Cream: It has gone on long enough. It does nothing but continue political "correctness" and the spreading of lies.
Egg: It's not the ONLY fanfiction we're shutting down, mind you, but it might possibly be the biggest.
Cream: Seven seasons... wow. 58 episodes, was it? This is the 58th, right?
Egg: We'll consider leaving all 58 of them intact. Our orignal intent was to completely delete all traces of it, but...
Cream: But, the truth is, we quite enjoyed a large number of the episodes.
Raid: Then why not let it keep going?
Egg: Like I said, it is classified as one of the "trivial pieces of information" that we must get rid of.
Cream: We're only keeping the 58 episodes as sort of a... guilty pleasure.
Egg: These are not the only reasons behind its ending, but these are the only reasons we will give.
Cream: Now then, Shadow Eater... who will it be?'
Egg: Zero, the creation of the Patriots, or YOU, the creation of Zero? Our little monsters... enjoy yourselves.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 28: Raid Versus Zero
Raid: Okay, sorry about that. Where were we?
[Zero gets up]
Zero: Uh.. oh, yeah. Shadow... my son. My "brothers" and I are called "monsters." Replications of evil genes.
Raid: Monsters?
Zero: You, while special, are still a monster. And we must decide, out of all the monsters, who deserves survival.
[Zero clenches his fist]
Zero: By the way, Shadow, I was the one who killed your parents.
Raid: !!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Zero: I claimed you for my own, and transformed you into a soldier.
Raid: But... why?
Zero: I needed to know if we were really just people's creations. We're repeating history, Shadow.
[Zero tosses Raid's katana at him; he catches it]
Zero: I have other reasons for wanting you dead. For one thing, the information of the Patriots is gone, except...
[DUN DUN DUUUUUN]
Zero: ..the last of it is in YOUR HEAD.
Raid: LE GASP
Zero: The information is being carried throughout the nanomachines in your neural cortex.. and... stuff.
[dramatic camera angles]
Zero: Anyway, BRACE YOURSELF!
[DRAMATIC FIGHT SEQUENCE!]
[SLASH!]
[ZOOM!]
[SWIPE!]
[KA-WIZZZZ!]
Zero: Hm. Good work, Shadow, but this is where things get interesting!
[one of Zero's tentacle arms grabs Raid]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Aw, bollocks, this is the WORST time for a call..
Zero: Ya got another call?
Raid: Yeah... sorry.
Zero: it's okay. I'll wait.
Raid: Thanks.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, you have to beat Zero! This is your last duty!
Raid: We're not just pawns in some simulation game, you know!
Cream: Yes, you are! You're no different than a fighter jet, or a tank.
Raid: Wha?
Egg: A weapon has no right to think for itself. Now, go! Go and defeat Zero! Fulfil your purpose in life!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Zero and Raid lock eyes]
[Zero dashes forward; Raid dodges]
[Raid quickly stabs him in the back]
[Zero falls over the edge of the building]
[the camera shows him dramatically falling IN SLOW MOTION]
[SMACK! He lands, and his corpse is stuck on the neck of a guitar controller on display outside the store]
[cut to the street by the store; Raid is standing there; people are walking by, not even noticing him]
Raid: Who am I, really?
Shade: No one quite knows who or what they are.
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there]
Raid: Shade! What happened to Levity?
Shade: Eh, he got away. But, I put a transmittor on the Eeksuu.
Raid: Was he heading for the Patriots?
Shade: Yeah. But, they probably gave him a bogus location to start with. But, we have a better lead.
[Shade pulls out a disc]
Shade: This contains a list of names of all the Patriots.
Raid: But.. but Levity took it!
Shade: We gave you a fake.
Raid: Oh.
Shade: This virus was designed to delete the names from the database, which means there's probably a parameter in there with that information on it.
Raid: I get it! Analyze the code, and you'll find the list! Count me in!
Shade: No. You have people to talk to first.
[Shade walks away; Raid turns around, and Cream is there]
Raid: Cream...
Cream: Hello, Shadow.
[they hug]
Cream: Do you remember what today is yet?
Raid: Of course. Today's the release date of The Beatles: Rock Band! I've been looking forward to it for FOREVER!
Cream: *giggle* Yay, you remembered! And, to celebrate you being a good boy and finishing the mission...
[Cream pulls out a copy of the game]
Raid: ZOMG YAY! Thank you very much!
[they walk off-screen; the camera pans New York City while it fades to black]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES: METAL GEAR SHADE 2: Sons of Libfairy
was created by DJay32
in loving memory of his beloved chao...
including Shade and Shadow.
It was also created out of his love for Metal Gear Solid.
Play that series, people.



[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Shade, this is Otakit. I've finished going over that disc.
Shade: Did you find the list of names?
Tails: Oh, there was a list of names, all right. Twelve people, all living in Manhattan.
Shade: Uh-huh?
Tails: One of the names was one of our biggest contributors.
Shade: What the?
Tails: And... all twelve people are already dead.
Shade: They ARE? When did THIS happen?
Tails: Over a hundred years ago.
Shade: What is going on here?