Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 13: Television is Not Meant for Chao

[our story begins in the Hero Garden, where Tail is watching TV]
Tail: I like TV.
[enter Chao]
Chao: *gasp* Tail! TV is bad! It makes your eyes bad!
Tail: O yea?
Chao: Yea wai.
Tail: Well, I just watched Penn & Teller: Bull**** right now, and--
Chao: You watched WHAT?!
Tail: Don't worry! It said that TV does not ruin your eyesight at all! But, if someone is constantly sitting close to the TV, it might be a sign that their eyesight IS bad, not actually from the TV.
Chao: Wow. And what's this show rated?
Tail: TV-MA. Look, they did the science, and the math.
Chao: ....weird. Anyway, we have a problem. There are Darks camping outside in the lobby.
Tail: Really?
Chao: Really.
[they run outside, and bump into Flame]
Flame: Hey, watch it!
Chao: ......who are you?
Flame: I'm Flame, the new guy. I just arrived here. (Note to Flame: What side is he on, again? Dark, Hero, or Neutral?)
Chao: Hmm... so, what's going on?
Flame: Haven't you heard the news? The Darks have a new plasma screen TV! In Hi-Def!
Chao: NO WAI
Flame: YA WAI! That's why we're camping out here. We're in a line to watch the TV for a few hours each!
Chao: LE GASP! Tail, we've gotta steal that TV.
Tail: I'm with you.
[cut to the Dark Garden; Shade has tons of money]
Shade: Well, Dark, I think my new scheme to get money worked. Letting chao watch it for ten bucks an hour gets us quite the profit.
Dark: And how!
?: Excuse me....
Shade: Yes?
[a man in a business suit is standing next to Shade]
?: Yes, my name is Joe Mama, of JOE Enterprises. I would like to sign a deal with you....
Shade: What KINDA deal?
JOE: Simple. Allow us to make a reality show based on your life, and... we'll give you three hundred million dollars.
Shade: DEAL!

SB: So let me get this straight Shade, You want us Chao....to live life normally... for a reality show of Dark Chao on TV?
Shade: Yes
SB: And you also know that nothing Normal happens here do you?
*You hear canned Laughter*
SB: Wait....are we already being watch on TVs....EVERYWHERE?!!?
*More canned laughter*
Silver: This can not be! we will not be so low as to preform on TV, wait...why is it recording? WE WERE NOT READY FOR THIS!!!
Sonic: You idiot! this is reality TV, that means that we need to act like a REAL chao would, and act like there isn't hidden cameras around the dark garden!
*Way too much canned laughter*
SB: Okay, I need to figure out where that canned laughter is coming because it's bugging me!
*Okay....no it's being over used! Canned Laughter*
SB: Oooh, that's it!!! and if this is Reality TV, why is there even Canned laughter, that would mean they knew what we were going to do!
*crickets chirp (Yes no canned laughter)*
*Canned Laughter (NO!)*
SB: Okay, Shade, that big Plasma Screen TV was a good Idea for making money but.... I WANT TO WATCH IT!!!!
*Canned Laughter again....*
-SB zips out of there-
Silver: Camera Shy... At least we're not Camera Shy Right Sonic?
Sonic? -Looks Around- WUSSIES!!!
-Later to SB and Sonic-
SB: I'm glad we got away from the Reality TV to watch this Plasma Screen TV huh Sonic?
Sonic: Agreed
*Canned Laughter.....FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME*
SB: WHY IS NO MATTER WE GO THESE PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING US?
Sonic: We must find some place to go, quick! to the hero Garden
-Zips Out of there-
-20 seconds later at the same location of the Plasma TV-
*Canned laughter*
SB: There is way too much canned laughter, we have to go make fun of the Hero Chao...Oh Hey A. Chao
A. Chao: Hey SB, it's about time something happened and-
SB: Now's not the time, I need to make fun of the hero garden there's way too much -
*Canned Laughter*
SB: Right....anyways it's time I did something normal. quick, sonic, the spray paint!
Sonic: Got it! -tosses the red spray paint-
SB: Time to write something bad!
-SB writes "Ur mother wears army boots" but it comes out as....-

*CANNED LAUGHTER*

SB: AAAUUUGGHH! I'm going to go insane if this keeps up, there's way too much canned laughter in this reality show... I give up for now.
Sonic: Someone else needs to have too much canned laughter...*sigh*

*Canned laughter* 

Announcer: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's time for the Dark Show!
[cheer, applause]
Ann: Starring Shade!
Shade: Wassup?
Ann: Aaaaand Dark!
Dark: I like toast.
Ann: Let's begin.
[cut to the Dark Garden; Shade wakes up]
[peaceful music crescendos as Shade gets up]
Shade: Ah, it's great to be awake.
Dark: Hey, Shade.
Shade: Hey, Dark! How's our Plasma TV Profit Scheme working out?
Dark: Not good. The TV's gone.
[DUN DUN DUUUN! Shade's face goes pale; "GASP"]
Shade: Gone? ....or STOLEN?
Dark: You think someone took it?
Shade: (as he says this, the audience slowly laughs more and more) No, Dark. I think a huge plasma-screen TV just grew legs, got up, got itself some coffee, left to go fishing with its friends, and then got mugged on the way back, so it couldn't tell us where it was.
Dark: Really? 'Cause that's kinda stupid.
[the two pause and look around idly as the audience laughs wildly]
Shade: So, should we investigate who stole it?
Dark: .........sure.
[they go outside, into the Lobby, and see Chao and Tail struggling to carry a huge box up the stairs]
[laughter]
Chao: Oh, um........... how go things?
[laughter]
Shade: Not so good. ....our TV was stolen.
Chao: Really? Oh, that's horrible. What does it look like? I'll help look for it.
Shade: It's a black Toshiba TV.... about as tall as, uh......... that box you're struggling to carry up these stairs.
[laughter]
Shade: About as heavy as it, too.
[laughter]
Chao: I see. Well.... let me just pull some paper out of my pocket, and write down the details, and I'll..... see what I can do.
[Chao checks his pocket..... area, and pulls out some paper; laughter]
Chao: You got a pen?
Shade: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Here. *hands him pen*
[Chao uses both hands to grab the pen and paper; Tail is too weak to carry the box by himself; he drops it; it tumbles down the stairs; the box opens; the TV rolls out]
[big laughter]
Shade: ....Now, how do you suppose that got there?
[Chao and Tail have an embarrassed look on their faces; fade to black; commercial; applause]


SB: Hey! Why didn't he get over used canned Laughter
*Canned Laughter*
SB: Ooh, this just makes me even more mad they do this!
Sonic: We've got to do something
-you see MGS exclamation mark above his head-
Sonic: Look, Tail and Chao are trying to steal are TV that we used as a scheme to get money, let's go there!
-The Make it down to the Chao Lobby-
Shade: ....Now, how do you suppose that got there?
[Chao and Tail have an embarrassed look on their faces; fade to black; commercial; applause]
SB: That was close, I'm glad it's commercial!
*Canned Laughter*
Shade: Where's that coming from?
SB: We don't know, that's what we need to know though
Sonic: And if we don't find the source quick...we'll go insane!
*canned Laughter*
Silver: Hey guys what's up?
*Crowd goes "Yea!" and Claps*
SB: Canned laughter is killing me!
Sonic: And me!
Shade: But not me.
*More Canned Laughter*
Shade: But it's starting to get on my nerve, hey Dark, you want to help us find the source of this canned laughter....Dark? Dark?
-Looks around to find Dark on the Floor going insane-
*Canned Laughter*
SB: how 'bout you guys figure it out while me and Sonic bring the TV back!
Sonic: And add security to it so it doesn't go anywhere
Sonic: UP OVER AND GONE
Shade: But-
-They're gone and out of there-
Shade: Oh great, now they're going to start again
*Canned laughter*
-Shade's eye twitches- 

SB: Hey Shadow
Shadow: Pipe down, I'm watching TV here on my personal TV
Silver: Why? When we have a huge plasma screen TV
Sonic: I know, it's only a couple of bucks
SB: Rings...
Shadow: It's not that, it seems that anyone that watches TV now, turns into like a zombie or something.
Flame: wait... you guys didn't return that TV did you?
SB: No!
Flame: Then why is there a TV out there?
SB: you mean to say that there is another TV
*demonic Canned Laughter*
Silver: I don't think this is just a regular reality tv show
Shadow: I wonder who could be behind this!
-they all run downstairs-
All: !!!!!
A. Chao: I knew it!
SB: What?
A. Chao: That Nights like chao I saw a long time ago!
Realala(Chao): I knew that someone had figured out about me.
A. Chao: Where has Knuckles been? I haven't seen him in forever!
Realala: He's right here
-He Holds Knuckle by the head as he's knocked out-
A. Chao: Knuckle!
All: !!!!
Realala: He was a weak fellow anyways...
-He tosses him as A. Choa Catches him-
SB: You may have beaten him but you won't beat me!
Realala: I highly doubt it!

BATTLE START

S. Bonic V.S. Realala

SB: My health is over 9000, you'll lose
Realala: I doubt it
SB = 10,000
Realala = 9,999,999,999,999,999,999
SB: !!!!
Realala: I told you! you won't beat me ever
SB: I call forth the power of the chaos emeralds!
Super SB (SSB) = 10,000,000
Realala: Chaos Blast
SSB - 10,000
SSB: !!!!
SSB: SUPER CHAOS SPEAR
Realala - 10 health
SSB: What?
Realala: Chaos Snap!
SSB - all but one health
SSB: CHAOS DEATH!!!
Realala: What?
Realala - all but one health
SSB = dead

BATTLE END

A. Chao: S. Bonic!!! S. BONIIIIIIIC!!!!!!!
Silver: Give it up A. Chao, he's gone to another place...
Shadow: Hmf...
Sonic: Don't you care for S. Bonic!?
Shadow: He had been as so foolish as to use chaos Death on that thing?
Sonic: ....ergh.....
-You see Violent dark Energies-
Sonic: You!!!!!
Realala: -smirks-
Sonic: YOU!!!!!
Realala: This should be-
Dark Sonic: YOU KILLED ME FATHER YOU B*****D!!!
Realala: hm?
Dark Sonic: IT'S TIME YOU DIED, CHAOS BLADE
-Dark Sonic slices Realala in half with it-
-then turns back due to using up his anger-
Sonic: Ugh.... S. Bonic....
A. Chao: Don't worry, we can revive him using the dragon balls!

*POOF*

SB: Ugh, I had this weird dream where I died, and a DBZ reference was made...
*Canned laughter* 

Announcer: Iiiiiiiiit's time for another exciting installment of The Dark Show!
[cheer, applause]
[the camera shows the Gardens, silent]
[the audience makes questioning remarks]
Ann: It appears... the chao... are gone.
[the audience jeers and boos]
Ann: I wonder where they are...
[they find a post-it on a tombstone in the Dark Garden]
"Dear Studio Audience,

We are unable to make it today. It is Halloween in chao time, and so we are doing our annual "Go to the Future for Halloween" adventure. It is going to be great! Of course, in Human time, it is only October 10th, 2008. Well, in chao time, it is October 31st, 105. That's right. Hundred n' five. I think.

Sincerely, Shade of the Dark Garden.

PS: If that date causes any loopholes, retcons, plot holes, or contradictions.... then what the crap, I'll tell you the REAL reason we're in the future. As you know, DJay does not make episodes up on the spot (anymore). So, he's pretending that we're "prerecording" the Halloween special, to make it seem weird and stuff, and to sync in with him "prewriting" episodes. I hope I explained this well.

PSS: Next to this Post-It is my laptop. Yep. I have a laptop. Didn't you read Episode 11? Anyway, I will e-mail this laptop with ONE e-mail before we get back. I will send you it halfway through our big Halloween adventure. It will tell you how things are going. Don't worry; I'm sure we'll have LOADS of fun. DJay can NEVER make anything THAT scary."

[next to the post-it note is a laptop, with one e-mail in the Inbox]
[the cameraman clicks on the e-mail]

TO: shadedgray@notarealemail.com
SUBJECT: Our Happy Halloween Adventure!
MESSAGE: ...............I had to say, "DJay NEVER makes anything THAT scary...." DIDN'T I? This..... this is...... TERRIFYING. I'm...... I'm.... I'm mentally scarred. Dark has been nearly killed on multiple occasions so far, and once he really nearly did almost die. Same with me, Chao, and Cham. (Note: I can't believe I never realized this, but... Cham is alive during DCRPG!) Mostly just me and Dark, though. And don't get me STARTED on Future me, and on Shadow the chao. This is....... this is WORSE than sparta. This is SCARIER than Scream. This is more GRUESOME than Misery. ...well, the only actually true thing in there was the gruesome part. I doubt it's really THAT bad and/or scary. But, just believe me when I say that THIS IS NOT HOW MUCH FEAR I WANTED FOR HALLOWEEN. Too much. Oh, crap, here comes Me
(The message cuts off there.......)

...PS: I got back from the danger that took me away from the laptop. I'm not gonna finish typing in the name. I'm gonna keep you in suspense. But, right now, I want to adress something. If DCAHall2 is the NEWEST adventure in the DCA storyline..... well, DCRPG takes place BEFORE DCA, so.... how are we doing this? ....oh, I've got an explanation. We're in the Future, so we placed this laptop and post-it note. As for the chao of DCRPG's whereabouts? I dunno, I guess they're out shopping.

Yours Truly, (Present-day) Shade."

[so, I suppose this means that DCRPG Shade is Past Shade, DCA Shade is Present Shade, and the Halloween specials/Season 2 Finale/Season 6 Finale Future Shades are Future Shade]
Ann: ....oh. So, they're out shopping. Heh... I was beginning to get worried, there. Perhaps those guys don't make it out of that alive?
[the chao come back]
Shade: ....oh, I'm sorry; we were out shopping for my newest cereal brand, Shade Bran. I signed a deal with Kelloggs. Time for the Dark Show?
Ann: Time for the massacre-- I mean, The Dark Show.
Shade: ..........'the massacre?'
[the crowd simultaneously says, "Oops!"]
Shade: Dark. Plan Lamba-Lambda-Lambda.
Dark: Got it.
[Dark punches the camera, making it crack, and turn off]
["TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES"]
[when the regular camera (the one used for the actual DCA) comes back, mysterious, shadowy creatures are raising from the ground]
Dark: Crap.
Shade: Dark Army........ ATTACK THE SHADOWY CREATURES!
All: YES, SIR!  
 
 

SB: Yes Sir!

BATTLE START

SB: Guys! we have the advantage!
Silver: We're ready when you are
Shadow: I'm going to kick everyone of their asses
Sonic: Don't curse
Shadow: ... Ass means BUTT!!! It's just a cooler way of saying butt
Sonic: So?
Flame: let's just shut up and battle!
*on the other side are the shadow figures*
Shadow Fig. 1: Heh...Chao
Shadow Fig. 2: We need to kick their Butts
Sonic: SEE SHADOW! HE DIDN'T SAY ASS
Shadow Fig. 3: That's because we've been censored
all Shadow Figs.: 4kids !
Flame: Shuryoken
all Shadow Figs. - 9,000
Sonic: They've lost over 9000 health!
Shadow: Now's not the time
SB: Hadoken
all Shadow Figs. - 9,000
Shadow: Chaos....SPEAR
Sonic: Here we go! Hyper Spin Dash!!!
Silver: Mind Destruction!
all Shadow Figs. - 9,000
Flame: it seems they always lose 9,000 health...watch this
Flame throws a piece of crumpled piece of paper
all Shadow Figs. - 9,000
All Chaos: WHAT THE?
SB: What do the scoute-
Shadow: I SAID NO REFERENCES!!!!
SB: *sigh* how high is their health anyway?
Silver: It's......It's.......
SB: WHAT? What is it?
Silver: *gasp* It's...Unlimited!!!!!!
SB: Dang it
A. Chao: Light Blast
all Shadow Figs. - 1
all Shadow Figs. now have a health of 1,000,000
Shadow: How did that help?
A. Chao: At least now you can hurt them...Chaos Light Beam
all Shadow Figs. - 10,000
SB: Burning Ember
all Shadow Figs. - 50
SB: What?
A. Chao: Because they are now able to get hurt and damaged...
Shadow: It seems that they now no longer take 9,000 every attack
Silver: And we need to think of new attacks
all Shadow Figs.: And stop skipping our turns
Shadow Fig. 1: Dark Hole
All Chao - 1,000
Shadow Fig. 2: Dark Spear
SB - 1,000
Shadow Fig. 3: Dark Blast
Shadow - 1,000
Shadow Fig. 4: Dark Ember
Silver - 2,000
SB: Silver!!
Silver: i didn't tell you, I'm vunerable to Dark Attacks
Shadow Fig. 5: Dark Beam
Silver - 5,000
Silver: EEERRGH
Shadow Fig. 6: Dark Beam
Silver: -5,000
Shadow Fig. 7: Dark Beam
Silver: -10,000
Silver: Crap....a criti-
-Silver Fainted-
SB: Crap!
Shadow Fig. 8: Hyper Dark Hole
All Chao - 10,000
SB: That wasn't even a critical!
A. Chao: One more attack like that and we're doomed
Shadow: We'll have to focus on using our Mana to heal us when needed
Shadow Fig. 9: Hyper Dark Hole
Shadow: Auuuggh!
-Shadow Faints-
Sonic: Ergh...I can hold on a little bit longer
SB: A. Chao Heal him when they're done!
Shadow Fig. 10: HYPER DARK HOLE
SB: !!!!
Sonic: AAAAUUUGGGHHH...
-Sonic fainted-
SB: A. Chao, are you al- Augh
-A. Chao has a big wound on her right arm-
A. Chao: I'm alright...ERK....
SB: Chaos Explosion!
All Shadow Figs. - all but one health
SB: A. Chao Heal us
A. Chao: Cura 2
A. Chao and SB + all health
All Shadow Figs.: HYPER DARK HOLE
SB: AAAUUUGGGGHHH!!!!
-SB Faints-
A. Chao: You're going to die
Shadow Fig. 1: You can't kill every single Shadow here!
A. Chao: LIGHT BEAM OF DEATH!
-Shadow Fig 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, AND 10 fainted-
A. Chao: Cura 3
-All of her friends are alive and well-
SB: I feel better

BATTLE END

SB: I don't think this is the last of them all...
A. Chao: That was difficult
-A. Chao falls asleep due to magic overuse-
SB: A. Chao!
Silver: Let her sleep, it will do her good
Shadow: I agree with him
SB: We just need to be ready for other shadow figs. 

Shade: Nice, guys. *hi 5s each*
[Shade looks around]
Shade: Where'd JOE go?
[A. Chao notices JOE the Manager walking off-screen]
A: He's getting away!
[they run after him]
[cut to a shadowy office; smoke is filling the room]
[a big figure smoking a cigar is sitting at a desk]
[the camera pans to show the figure shuffling through some papers]
[the camera focuses on a paper that says, "DJay32 does not endorse smoking. So.... don't smoke."]
[the figure places a different piece of paper in front of the camera]
[the piece of paper is bland and boring, except for five boxes on it]
[a red dotted line connects the five boxes, going from left to right]

BOX 1: A picture of the Dark Garden. Below it is written, "Shadow grunts." The figure draws a red "X" over this box.
BOX 2: A picture of the Neutral Garden. Below it is written, "Audience from Hell."
BOX 3: A picture of the Hero Garden. Below it is written, "Commercial Horrors."
BOX 4: A picture of the Chao Lobby. Below it is simply written, "JOE."
BOX 5: A picture of an office. Below it is written, "MILKMAN "

[the camera zooms in on the word, "MILKMAN "]
[fade to the Neutral Garden; Shade, Dark, Shadow the chao, and all of Flame's chao run on-screen]
[BOO!!!! JEER!!! BOO!!!]
Shade: Brace yourselves. It's about to get ugly.
[a bunch of mysterious, ghost-like chao float into the garden]
Ghost1: BOOOO!!!! GET OFF THE STAGE!!! YOU STINK!!!
Ghost2: *a-hem* ....I am the messenger of the Audience. We do not like you. You attacked our host, JOE. We shouted, "Jerry," but you did not stop. What is wrong with you?
[BOOO!!!!!]
Shade: Take me to your leader, freaks!
[NO! NO!!!! BOOO!!! YOU STINK!!!]
Ghost2: Our leader.... whom we will call, "MILKMAN," for suspicious purposes.... is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after your death.
Shade: Um...... no, thanks.
Ghost2: Oh. Well..... all right. Come again, please!
[the ghosts leave]
SB: I didn't think we could win like that.
[the ghosts come back in, quickly]
Shade: Nice going, Shadow Bonic.
Ghost2: We have just been informed that thinking outside the box is not an acceptable tactic for this boss battle. Good luck, and have a pleasent tomorrow. ........in the afterlife.
[FIGHT!]


SB: How can I think outside the box when they won't let me out?
-looks around-
*canned Laughter*
SB: didn't we finish that already? What's his health anyways?
Silver: um....Infinity?
SB: You mean you don't know?
Silver: Why do you ask me?
SB: Don't ou have mind reading powers?
Silver: I do?
Shadow: Whay are there so many questions?
Flame: Does he know why?
Sonic: What would I know?
Ghost1: Why don't we battle now?
Flame: Because I don't feel like it?
Ghost2: 
Sonic: Enough with the questions!
SB: Chaos Stike!
Ghost1 - 9,000
SB: Don't tell me...same thing?
Silver: Yes and no
A. Chao: They don't have infinite help this time
Silver: Hey look! a flashlight!
Shadow: And a bucket of Ice!
Sonic: And if they're ghosts from Hell...
SB: That means Ice will kill them because it's too cold
Ghost1: Did he just figure out our weakness?
Ghost2: I believe so...
Ghost1: And do you also suppose that the Creater of this was to Lazy to-
Ghost2: Do an extremely Long Battle?
Both Ghosts: ...Yes
Flame and Shadow: Ice cold Flashlight attack
Both Ghosts equal dead
SB: Do you think that Flame(Me not chao) was to lazy to make an extremely long battle
A. Chao: stop complaing, look at Flame's previous post!
SB: Okay, let me get my computer
Silver: We have computers?
SB: Duh!
*canned laughter* 


Shade: Sweet, we did it. ...hey, there's JOE again!
[they chase after him]
[cut to a shadowy office; smoke is filling the room]
[a big figure smoking a cigar is sitting at a desk]
[the camera pans to show the figure shuffling through some papers]
[the camera focuses on a paper that says, "DJay32 does not endorse smoking. So.... don't smoke."]
[the figure places a different piece of paper in front of the camera]
[the piece of paper is bland and boring, except for five boxes on it]
[a red dotted line connects the five boxes, going from left to right]

BOX 1: A picture of the Dark Garden. Below it is written, "Shadow grunts." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 2: A picture of the Neutral Garden. Below it is written, "Audience from Hell." The figure draws a red "X" over this box.
BOX 3: A picture of the Hero Garden. Below it is written, "Commercial Horrors."
BOX 4: A picture of the Chao Lobby. Below it is simply written, "JOE."
BOX 5: A picture of an office. Below it is written, "MILKMAN "

[the camera zooms in on the word, "MILKMAN "]
[cut to the Hero Garden; they run in; JOE is there]
JOE: Hello. I understand you have done well in destroying our wonderful show.
Shade: I hate you.
JOE: Why so hostile? Why don't you take a break? ....a..... COMMERCIAL.... break?
[the screen fades to black]
Shade: Crap. I can't see!
SB: Sir, what will we do?
Shade: I.... I don't know! Figure out some way to see again!
[YOU KNOW YOUR NEXT TASK. NOW DO IT!] 

Flame: We could use that flashlight we used from the previous one...
SB: You're no Fun at all!
Shade: No Flame...You have no Flashlight!
Flame(Drops flashlight): I have no Flashlight
Silver: Yes you do!
Flame(Picks it Up): Yes I do!
Shade: I am the Chao of the creator of this, I say you have no Flashlight!
Flame: I have no Flashlight
Silver: Well, I has a FLOODLIGHT! Not the bad ones, I have the one that turns NIGHT into DAY!
-Silver Shines the Light-
-Dark smacks Silver-
Dark: You're no Fun at all Silver
Shadow: I liked the dark too...
A. Chao(Thinking): Why am I included in this post?
D. Hawk: Hey guys I'm back, what did I miss?
*Canned Laughter*
Shadow: Where have you been in for so long?
D. Hawk: My creator never posts me anymore...
Shadow: So you decided to appear as a Cameo?
D. Hawk: Exactly
*canned Laughter*
Shadow: And do you also know you probably never show up again right?
D. Hawk: Yes, I just never show up...
Shadow: Alright, you've hogged up too much time
D. Hawk: awww....
L. Hawk: Hey guys what did I miss
*canned Laughter*
Silver: *sigh* not this again...
*canned laughter* 

Shade: Nice. Cheater. So, the commercial is over, and.... there's JOE! Let's get him!
[they chase JOE off-screen]
[cut to a shadowy office; smoke is filling the room]
[a big figure smoking a cigar is sitting at a desk]
[the camera pans to show the figure shuffling through some papers]
[the camera focuses on a paper that says, "DJay32 does not endorse smoking. So.... don't smoke."]
[the figure places a different piece of paper in front of the camera]
[the piece of paper is bland and boring, except for five boxes on it]
[a red dotted line connects the five boxes, going from left to right]

BOX 1: A picture of the Dark Garden. Below it is written, "Shadow grunts." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 2: A picture of the Neutral Garden. Below it is written, "Audience from Hell." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 3: A picture of the Hero Garden. Below it is written, "Commercial Horrors." The figure draws a red "X" over this box.
BOX 4: A picture of the Chao Lobby. Below it is simply written, "JOE."
BOX 5: A picture of an office. Below it is written, "MILKMAN "

[the camera zooms in on the word, "MILKMAN "]
[cut to the Chao Lobby; they run in; JOE is there]
JOE: Good day. I see you have made it past my three deadly trials of horror.
Shade: Shut up and die!
Dark: Your bodies, they will cry.
Shade: Nice. Anyway, what's our NEXT challenge? Flying ponies from wonderland? Teletubbies?
SB: The Smurfs?
JOE: No. Your next challenge...... is me.
Shade: Y....you?
JOE: Kill me. Go on. KILL. ME. I dare you.

Flame: Ah......I......um.......
Silver: Should we.........?
Shadow: Hell YES!
Angel Chao(A. Chao): ....
Shadow Bonic: Oooooh Snaaap!!
F: We is going to defeat Joe!
Sonic: Let's kill him!
Slvr: End It Now
Shdw: Can we shut up and Kill him now?
S: We aint cheatahs!
SB: That's CHEATERS Sonic.....
AC: Let's just kill him already
-One massive beating later-
Joe: Give it up! You can't win
SB: I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT MAN!
Joe: You guys give up!
F: NO!
-Another Massive beating-
SB: We need help... ugh 

SB: Shade! Help!
Shade: ....he's dead.
SB: Help--what?
Shade: He's dead. Why should I help you when you're pretending to have a broken leg, and JOE is dead?
SB: ....rats, we've been found out.
Shade: Wait. So.... what do we do now, anyway?
Dark: Shade, look!
[the Chao World Exit Thing is glowing]
[out of stupidity and curiosity, they step in]
[the screen fades to white]
[cut to a shadowy office; smoke is filling the room]
[a big figure smoking a cigar is sitting at a desk]
[the camera pans to show the figure shuffling through some papers]
[the camera focuses on a paper that says, "DJay32 does not endorse smoking. So.... don't smoke."]
[the figure places a different piece of paper in front of the camera]
[the piece of paper is bland and boring, except for five boxes on it]
[a red dotted line connects the five boxes, going from left to right]

BOX 1: A picture of the Dark Garden. Below it is written, "Shadow grunts." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 2: A picture of the Neutral Garden. Below it is written, "Audience from Hell." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 3: A picture of the Hero Garden. Below it is written, "Commercial Horrors." A red "X" has been drawn over this box.
BOX 4: A picture of the Chao Lobby. Below it is simply written, "JOE." The figure draws a red "X" over this box.
BOX 5: A picture of an office. Below it is written, "MILKMAN...."

[the camera zooms in on the word, "MILKMAN...."]
[cut to the chao teleporting into an office; people are in cubicles, talking on phones]
Shade: ....huh?
Dark: We're lost.
Shade: Impossible. I'm Shade. I'm never lost.
Dark: We're lost.
Shade: We are NOT lost!
Dark: WE'RE LOST!!!!!!!!!!
[all the people in the cubicles stop talking, and stare at them]
[they become shadowy creatures, and start attacking]
Shade: Crap!


Flame: We will never End this
SB: Can't the Author of this post be a very lazy person and get us out of here?
Silver: Why should he be lazy! That's too lazy
A. Chao: And how many times do we have to beat up these things anyways?
Shadow: These things aren't the same
SB: You mean...These bad guys are different?
Shadow: *sarcasm* No Shadow Bonic, these enemies are exactly the Same *Sarcasm end* OF COURSE THEY'RE DIFFERENT YOU IDIOT!
SB: Oh....you don't have to go hatin' on me *sob*
Flame: Suck it up
Sonic: Hey guys...How come we keep ending up in the same room with the exact same things with the exact same bad guy?
Flame: I don't know, ask Djay32 or something...
Djay32: Hey! don't involve me in this! figure it out yourselves!
Flame: Well, that plan worked well...
Sonic: Can we just fight the enemies already?
SB: Sure go ahead.
Sonic: Aren't you coming?
SB: You're the only one that wants to go!
Flame: I do!
A. Chao: I do!
Shadow: I do!
Silver: I do!
SB: ...They don't count
Flame: I do!
SB: We established that already...
Sonic: FINE! we'll all go and leave you behind!
SB: Doesn't bother me!
Sonic: Oh Yeah?
SB: Yeah!
Shadow: Oh Yeah?
SB: YEAH!
Silver: OH YEAH?
SB: *whispers* This is getting repetitive *whisper end* YEA!
A. Chao: Oh YE-
SB: Shut UP!
A. Chao: ...
SB: what are you all waiting for? GO GO GO!
All chao except SB: FINE THEN GEEZ!
SB: Whatever, I don't care...
me: And so all the chaos except Shadow Bonic went and fought these creatures and they died a horrible death, and A. Chao has one last thing to say and-
A. Chao: Hey You!
Me: Yea?
Shadow: WE AIN'T DEAD YET!
Me: so?
Silver: Then how can you say we're dead if we're still here?
Me: i was trying to get Shad-
SB: *sarcasm* Oh yeah! your plan worked perfectly dude...
Me: Wait, why you still recording fool?
Shade: Oops! still trying to get that footage of reality Chao TV
Me: Just turn it OFF!!!
Shade: Fine Fine... *whispers* he's such a blow hard 

Smooth. But, from now on until the end of DCRPG, I'm not helping you anymore. I'm simply letting the story continue.

[the Third-Parties (that's you) wake up, and notice Shade and Dark have already defeated all the enemies]
(...so yeah, I guess I AM bailing you out.)
Shade: C'mon, let's go!
[MOAR SHADOWY CREECHURS]
Dark: More creatures? NOOOOO!!!

DEFEAT THEM!

....wait.
[the shadowy creatures grab everyone, and take them to a dark, smoke-filled room]
[a figure is sitting at a desk, smoking. DON'T SMOKE!]
?: .....*pulls cigar out of mouth*.... kill 'em.
Shade: NO! KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
[pause]
?: ......lolwut?
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!]
[the whole office explodes, leaving only a barren wasteland]
[it's just the chao and the figure, who reveals himself to be METAL SONIC WTF]
MS: Nice. You uncovered my secret plan.
Shade: Metal! What's going on?!
MS: I used--
Flame: Wait. How could you have smoked--
MS: Let's not worry about that. Just.... don't smoke. All right?
Flame: Okay.
MS: Anyway, I used the powers of television to attempt to bind you under a contract.
Dark: The silent killer.
MS: Indeed. Anyway, now it is time for you to DIE!
Shade: *sigh* Metal, we never die anyway, so why don't you just GIVE UP?
MS: Me? Give up? NEVER!
[Metal runs away]
Shade: So, we have one last problem before your mission is over, kiddos!
SB: Sir! What is it?
Shade: We're stuck here in the middle of nowhere, and the other freelancers (you guys) aren't here. So, Dark-Hawk can't save us with his magic. It's up to you to find us a way out.


SB: But wait... Dark-Hawk isn't ever here anymore...
DH: Yes I a-
SB: Shut up!
Flame: And we have to find a way out?
A. Chao: Why don't we just follow Metal Sonic
Flame: *sigh* must we always be lazy?
Me: Hey, stop pointing fingers! It was A. Chao's Idea!
Flame: A. Chao!
AC: It's not my fault, He writes the script!
SB: You mean there's a script?
Me: YOU MEAN THERE'S A SCRIPT?
-All chao are quiet-
Me: There is no script
AC: But you also write what we say
Me: So?
AC: That means you forced me to say that!
Me: And why am I suddenly involved in this RPG?
-all chao are quiet again-
Me: I think I'm going to end this right now and PM Dark Hawk so he'll come again...
Flame: AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! 

(Zammie joins with his Neutral chao, Ade)

Nice! There's our ticket out! Ade manages to call us a bus.

[cut to the Dark Garden; the chao get off the bus]
Shade: Dark, tip the kind bus driver.
Dark: Awww.....
END OF MISSION!