Dark Chao Adventures Episode 19: The Baby-Back Lons' Rogue Revealed
Chapter 1: Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? NO, It's the Beta Avenger!
[our story begins in... the STR (see Episode 12)]
MP: (sigh) When will this pain and torture end? I'm forced to live in this hill-billy hell-- hill, I mean... hill.
[Mephiles finds the floating CPU and goes on it, then turns it on]
MP: Hmmm... Sonic... Riders? Storyline.... whoa. This gives me an idea.... heheheh....
[in Metal City (Earth), with no relation to Metal Sonic]
[Tails and the chao are taking a field trip to the national Extreme Gear emporium]
Shade: Pfft... this place is boring.
Dark: Yeah... ooh! CHEESE! Gimme!
Chao: You dolt, that's not cheese... that's edam!
[crickets]
Shade: ...Edam is a cheese. Who are you and what have you done with Chao?
Chao: I am-- you know me.
[Chao melts into the ground and a different chao rises up]
MSp: You fools! I am back... from the grave!
Devilish: ...Do we know you?
MSp: Of course you know me! And yes, even you, Devilish. Well, actually... maybe just Dark.
Dark: Hey, yeah... I recognize you! You're... you're... Metal Speedy! Say, where's the Doctor?
MSp: The same place that the Milkman went to... and Joe.
Dark: Woolworths?
MSp: NO!!! God, you're still as dumb, I see. They're trapped in the scraps of DCA!
Shade: Hang on a momento there, Mecha Freakamagiccer. How can we be so sure you're friends with Dark?
MSp: Friends? HAHAHA! Fool! I never said we were friends! I only said we knew eachother! Boy, you need hearing aids?
Shade: (embarassed) ... well, uh...
MSp: Never mind. I am the lord of chao, the superior to that inferior Metal Sonic, all those who hear my name tremble in fear at my almighty lightning powers of utter chaos and murde--
Tails: (as if talking to a baby) Awwwwwwwww... look! Shade, have you made a new friend? What's your name little guy?
MSp: "Little guy"!? I'll have you know that the genocidical Metal Speedy is all but a "little guy"!
Tails: (gasp) Genocidical! My, you're a smart one! Do you like air boards?
MSp: You are a daft-headed fox, you freak-- did you say "air boards"?
Tails: Yes, I did! Correct, you are a smart kid! Such good memory!
MSp: Air boards go vroom! --What am I saying? I, Metal Speedy, will not succumb to such infantile antics!
Tails: My, you sure know a ton of big words, and use bold a lot. Are you smart?
MSp: Heh... am I smart? Really... such a stupid question.
Tails: Yes, you are smart! (combust!) Uh... sorry, gotta go. Tail! Fire doesn't go in your mouth!
[Tails runs in another direction]
MSp: I shall deal with you later. The Beta Avengers shall rise yet again.
[Metal Speedy melts into the ground]
Shade: ...Who the Dark Garden was that guy?
Dark: I dunno. Some guy who works for the Milkman or something.
Shade: The Milkman? Saaaaaaay... I remember him! Yeah... but... what's this about the 'Beta Avengers'?
Devilish: Who cares? Seriously, this may be the only oppurtunity we get to go to this place! Let's have a field trip!
Chapter 2: Doctor Phyllis Disappears
[later, after school, in the Dark Garden]
Dark: Shade! Shade! Something happened in the Hero Garden!
Shade: ...So?
Dark: Really!
Shade: ...So?
Dark: Come on!
Shade: ...Whuh? Huh? Oh, okay.
[in the Hero Garden]
Shade: So... Dark, what's going on?
Dark: Um... don'tcha notice anything?
[Shade opens his eyes, and sees darkness]
Shade: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where are we standing?
Dark: Dunno.
[instantly, the two fall down into more darkness, and wake up in the STR]
MP: Um... guys? Guys? Wake up!
Shade: Ugh... wha?
MP: There's-- there's this guy after me! He-he's this big... robot! A big robot!
[Shade pauses for a moment, then realizes]
Shade: This guy... did he have a funny name?
MP: Yeah, hilarious one. "The Milkman", I mean, who's scared of a MILKMAN? That's what I thought...
Shade: THE MILKMAN....... aw, criddle-dumplings! Croodle-spoodles! Crap!
MP: What's wrong now, fool?
Shade: I know him... I know him... he's back. I knew he'd be back!
MP: Shade, who is the weir--
[Mephiles disappears]
Dark: Mephy? Mephy? What were you gonna say?
Shade: Aw, CRAAAAAAAAAAYUUUUUP!
Voice: Shade... Dark... you two... you two originalities.........
Shade: Originali--what kinda word is THAT? I mean, REALLY?
Voice: What? (whispering) I TOLD you it was a terrible word! Why do I always listen to you?
Other voice: I dunno.
Voice: Well, no more! No more listening to you! And... DJay32... NO... MORE... INVADER ZIM JOKES!
Me: Say, I know you! You're... you're the M.I.L.K.M.A.N, aren't you?
M: That would be correct. Very correct. The Milkman... AND FRIENDS! Present yourselves, you other three!
[four sonic-like creatures appear, two robots, two dark matter]
#4: And enough Kirby references! Sheesh!
Me: Sorry, but I couldn't think of anything else to call you!
#4: That's no excuse... Milkman, should I kill him? (Milkman nods)
[footsteps are heard, and the fourth character breaks THROUGH the fourth wall]
Dark: Shade, who-who are these guys?
M: Forget us, for even WE do not remember much about ourselves. All we know is-- I'm Milkman, he's J.O.E, and we hate the Poker Gang and you, Shade! That's why we just teleported the Poker Gang here.
[the Poker Gang appears there, all tied up (except Metal)]
DT: What the Underwhere?
Joe: ENOUGH... PAPER... MARIO... JOKES! Grambi! Wait-- ARRGH!
MK: Wait, I remember you guys! And I remember that joke Dark Tails said as soon as we were here... Metal said "Who are you guys?" and then, Dark Tails, you said--
DT: "The milkman and friends?" Yeah!
[both laugh]
DT: (laughing) And- and I was-- I was RIGHT! Hehehe!
Milkman: NO! Stop wasting the space! No! You'll end the story too quickly!
TD: Wait, how do you know about the Fourth Wall?
Milkman: Betas... when Betas are thrown away, they end up stored in the land of the real. The place... BEYOND that fourth wall. Beyond it, I studied the works of DJay. I discovered exactly HOW to mess around with everything. For you see, I have a very... DEEP... secret. One I will tell... (checks paper) DARK... around the end of... (checks again) either the FIFTH... or the SIXTH Season.
Dark: Yeah, but will we get that far?
Milkman: The paper never lies.
Dark: But, won't we jump the shark eventually?
Milkman: Yeah, around after I tell you the secret. Literally. I mean, you'll LITERALLY jump a shark!
Dark: No. I mean, REALLY... won't we?
Milkman: (checks paper) Um... let's see... uh... we already jumped around.... Episode 16, but then... the secret came, and by Episode 17, the shark kinda... sorta... reversed. It jumped YOU. So, we got back. Hang on, how'd you know about jumping the shark?
Dark: Internet.
Milkman: Ah, so THAT'S why I tell you the secret. 'Kay then.
Shade: Hold it... lemme check that paper.
Milkman: Uh... sure, I-- WAAAAAAIIIT... NO! I won't be fooled so easily!
Shade: You just were. By Dark.
Chapter 3: Finding the Palace
Milkman: Hey! What?
Dark: I wasted the Episode space by asking about Jumping the Shark, which wasted the space. I got smarter around, like, Episode 15, remember?
Milkman: ......Riiiiiiiight. (to Joe) He watched Chao Scene Investigation...
DT: So... couldja let us go?
Milkman: Yes. I have decided... and read the paper... so I will. COMMENCIUS RETURNIUS DEMETRIUS AND LYSANDER...IUS!
[everything goes back to normal]
Shade: Hey, wait! What about the "Finding the Palace" thingy?
[Milkman appears quickly]
M: Luke, use the force!
Shade: ...
M: Oh, it's you. Um... uh... well, y'see... Dark put me WAY behind schedule, so... I decided to just....... and so I.... but we.... so he raised his hand and..... and... and... ... .. . .. . ..... .. . . .. .
[a few hours later]
M: .. . . . . ..... .. . . . . . . ... . .......and THAT'S why. Shade? SHADE!? Were you even listening?
Shade: Yeah, I was. WAIT-- you just told me the secret!
M: DON'T TELL ANYONE. It was like that because I confused the reader into thinking I was making a Paper Mario joke, but really, they got bored. They'll learn the secret in Season 5/6 when I tell Dark, like I said.
Shade: Sweet! I'll keep my mouth shut. So... now what?
M: That's it. Now, it's time for Part 2 of the MSQ/DCA thing.
Shade: Oh. Okay. Well, see ya, I guess.
Chapter 4: MSQ DCA Adaption Part 2
[Metal arrives at the Egg Base, angry]
MS: RAWR! EGGMAN! I'M ANGRY AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHY!
[MEMORY RESTORED]
MS: Oh. ROOOAAAAAR! Wait'll I get my hands on that Eggman!
[Metal rushes through, and wastes his Almost Infinite (AI) batteries, then stops on a bench]
MS: Ugh... I'm tired................................................. whoo.................................................................
[Metal falls asleep, and wakes up on a table]
? : Welcome, Metal. Now... I will get RID OF YOU.
MS: WHAT!? WHY!?
? : Many reasons. Anyway, GOOD-BYE, METAL!
[Metal is shut off, and the voice sneaks off for a moment, while Eggman busts in and fixes Metal]
MS: Huh? WHAT!? EGGMAN!? GRRR... HRRR... I need to get up!
EGG: Calm down, Metal. I only ran off because of the Beta Avengers, which you're wondering about.
MS: No I'm not. The Beta Avengers are the guys who used to be Betas, but came back for revenge. And you're wondering how I know this, right? Well, I DO read the Episodes, y'know. I don't live in a cave.
EGG: Then you should know who the REAL enemies are. I'll let you go, and you can kill Tails, who kidnapped you.
MS: Wait--
EGG: I know this, trust me. Remember: Foxes hate electricity.
[Eggman disappears, as Tails comes back in, and Metal stands up and grabs a plug, then laughs as Tails gets scared....]