Dark Chao Adventures Episode 17: An Akira Kurosawa-based Story:
Chapter 1: Shade's Story:
[the story begins in the Stardust Eggman, where Shade, Dark, Devilish, Chao, Speedy, Tails, Dark Tails, Metal Sonic and Mephiles are all just waking up]
Shade: Ugh... what happened?
Dark: I don't know...
Chao: You never know.
Devilish: He has a point there, Darko.
MS: Alright, everybody SHADDUP! We've got to think... what just happened?
Dark: I don't--
All: We know.
Shade: I know what happened! I have the picture clear in my head...
[in the Dark Garden, Shade is sitting on a throne with Hero chao heads underneath it, and there are posters around that say 'Obey Shade!']
Dark: Duh... sir, Chao is here... duiiuh...
Shade: Send him in.
[Chao runs in, in ragged clothing and crying]
Chao: Please, sir... I want some more porridge.
Shade: No porridge for you, idiot!
Chao: But, sir, I'm dying of starveetion!
[the real Chao says, "Starvation!"]
Chao: --starvation!
Shade: Drink from your pool, then!
Chao: But, sir, the pool is empty!
Shade: Alright, fine! I will fill it with water!
Real Shade: And so, I began my quest to fill the Hero chao pool with water! I journeyed across monstrous mountains, gooey plateaus and high-up clouds!
Shade: Ah-hah! What is this? There are no clouds in the sky! Luckily, I have these kick-butt awesome jet shoes that allow me to fly high up and live! So... no clouds? That means no rain! Where have all the clouds gone?
RShade: Then, I saw Mr. Prower and Dark Tails flying the Tornado III!
[Shade flies up to the plane]
Shade: HALT! Whom goes there?
Tails: Only I, the wimpy goody-goody known as Mr. Prowler! I prowl in the night, giving my students too much homework while in the day time, I am Mr. Prower, the wimpy goody-goody teacher who has two freakishly huge tails!
DT: And me, the wicked-awesome guy who looks just like him only I am grey and wear sunglasses!
RealDT: I don't wear sunglasses!
DT: Eh, shaddup.
Shade: Well, what are you doing in this plane?
Tails: We're going to see the Doctor, the wonderful Doctor Of Oz! The wicked robot of the west absorbed all the clouds with his evil cloud-absorber, and the Doctor of Oz is the only guy who can stop him, for he created him!
Shade: Then, I shall come with you! And together, the wicked robot of the west commonly referred to as Metal-headed Sonic will be defeated!
RShade: So, we found the wonderful Doctor Of Oz, only to fall into a trap by the wicked robot of the west! It turns out that the wicked robot of the west kidnapped the Doctor Of Oz and threw him into a storage closet again, and absorbed Eggma-- uh, the Doctor's looks, and made him look like the Doctor! Then, he forced us to go into the Stardust Eggman!
MS: I can't believe you, the lowly two knights of the new republic came by and tried to stop me! And you, too, Shade? Well, Shade, I have a confession to make... you are a robot. Because I... am your FATHER!
Shade: NO!!!!!!!! This is impossible!
MS: Heh... MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I can't believe you all fell for my trap! And now, I will absorb YOUR looks, and be able to change my looks constantly making me the coolest guy EVER!!!
???: Not so fast, you cretin!
MS: What? That voice, it can't be!
[Mephiles breaks in]
MP: It is I, the unbelievebly cool Doctor Phyllis of the East! And I brought along with me Dark and Devilish and Speedy! Togetgher, we will kick your butt!
[awesome fight sequence]
MS: Doctor Phyllis of the East... I'll be back... with weapons!
[Eggman appears out of nowhere]
Egg: I can't believe you saved me! Shade, you are not his son. For you have been a chao all along! And, Tails, you don't need to give people homework to get courage! You had it in your heart the whole time! Oh, and Dark Tails, you don't need sunglasses!
DT: Did I have coolness in me all along?
Egg: No, the sunglasses just look ugly on you. And, thank you, Doctor Phyllis of the East! Without you, we'd all be dead!
RShade: So, the wicked robot of the west was defeated, the clouds returned, and peace and prosperity returned to the Heroes! That shows you how nice I am!
[cut back to Stardust Eggman]
Chapter 2: Dark's Dumb Story:
Dark: Nah, that wasn't how it went! Where's me? I'm barely even in it! You should hear MINE!
[to the Dark Garden, it's normal]
Dark: Hey, Shade, I captured Chao! Want him?
Shade: Yeah, sure, whatever.
[Chao comes in, and he's a rabid wildabeast]
Chao: RAAAAWWWR ROAAAR! HUNGRYYYY!!! SHADE STOOOPID!
Shade: Oh, most brilliant Dark, what is he saying?
[Dark is smoking from a pipe, then takes it out of his mouth]
Dark: Elementory, dear Shade, he is stat-ing that he is indood hungary.
[SShade walks in]
SShade: Oh, Dark, you're SO smart!
Dark: I know. Shade, be a smart guy and go fetch Chao some water.
Shade: But, his pool is empty!
Dark: Then go to Miles Prower, he may knows what to does.
Shade: Okay, Dark!
[Shade exits]
Dark: Well, Chao, how are you?
Chao: RAAAWR! ME STOOPID!
Dark: I would've action figured as munch. Say, Devilish?
Devilish: Yes, incredibly smart Dark?
Dark: Let's go check on the Heroes now, shall we?
Devilish: Okey-dokey!
[in the Hero Garden]
Speedy: WAAA!!! GET OUT! WAAAA! I'M A BABY! WAAAA!!!
Dark: Calm down, will you?
Speedy: I hate you.
[Mephiles comes in]
MP: Fools, I am fool Mephiles fool so fool you'd fool better fool start running! Fool.
Dark: We're not scared of you! Fellows, let us beat him up!
[a long battle scene]
MP: STOP! I must tell you, Metal Sonic is trying to take away the clouds! Come with me and we'll beat him! I can somehow fly!
[they go]
MS: Now nobody can stop me!
Dark: Not so quickly, my foolish Metal!
MS: N-no! It can't be!
[they smash in and beat Metal up]
[Eggman appears out of nowhere]
Egg: Thanks for saving me, guys! Especially you, Dark, you are SO COOL!
[back to Stardust Eggman]
Chapter 3: Chao and Metal Tell Their Stories:
MS: My turn!
Chao: No way, it's mine!
Tails: Why don't you both speak?
MS+Chao: Fine.
[in Stardust Eggman]
MS: Finally! The most genius invention ever! With it, I will rule! But first, I must get rid of that stupid Doctor.
[Eggman recieves a 'Free Pie' letter, and goes to Stardust Eggman]
Egg: What? Where's the pie?
[Metal digs his claws directly into Eggman's skin, and Eggman screams (as you can see, Metal's story is gory), you see the blood slowly dripping down]
MS: You'd better abide to my rules, or they go deeper!
Egg: Okay, I will! Don't kill me!
MS: Number one... I am your master! Number two... you will do everything without hesitation! Finally, you will scream when I even LOOK at you. Got it?
Egg: Yes. I mean, AAAAHHHH!!!
MS: Good. (Metal chucks Eggman into a closet and throws a giant spiky crab/pirhana robot in with him, and slams the door and locks it. Eggman is heard screaming)
RealMS: Okay, maybe it was just a crabmeat, but what's the difference?
[meanwhile, in the Hero Garden, switch to Chao]
RealChao: April 3rd, 2006-- so what if I made up the date? I was about to drink from the fountain, but was shocked to find that the fountain was empty. The pool was also empty, so I went to my last resort, and went to the Dark Garden.
Chao: SHADE!!!
Dark: Stop! What do you want?
Chao: I want to speak with Shade!
Dark: Okay then, hang on a moment!
[Dark walks off for a moment, then comes back]
Dark: Okay, go on in!
[Chao walks in]
Chao: Shade! What did you do to the pool!?
Shade: Uh-oh... did Dark pee in it again?
Chao: NO! It's EMPTY!
Shade: WHAT!? Well, whaddya want me to do about it?
Chao: Fill it before I call Mephiles!
Shade: I'm on it!
[Shade left]
Dark: So... do you think he's gonna do it?
Chao: Nope, so I already called Mephiles. He should be in the Hero Garden in a few minutes, so I suggest you hurry up and greet him.
Devilish: I'd better come, too, since Dark's... you know... mentally ill.
Dark: I saw a squirrel.
SShade: That's nice, Dark.
[SShade walks away, and they go to the Hero Garden]
[switch to the Stardust Eggman with Metal]
[Metal looks like Eggman]
MS: All set, now to send my signal! *a-hem!* Attention, Tails slash Dark Tails stop.
It is I, Doctor Eggman, with terrible news stop.
Metal Sonic has built a machine that is absorbing the clouds stop.
I have something to help you, meet me in Stardust Eggman stop.
Excellent, they should be coming any time now!
[later, they come in]
MS: You fools! It was actually me, Metal Sonic, who sent that signal! I captured Eggman and absorbed his data, so now he is trappd in a closet, screaming with blood!
Tails: (gasp) You fiend! We will stop you!
MS: Why did you try to stop me, Tails and Dark Tails? And you, Shade, you gullible oaf, I am your father!
Shade: NO!!!!
MS: Pfft! I can't believe you FELL for that! Idiot. Now, I will absorb YOUR power, making me even stronger!
???: Not so fast, cretin!
MS: That voice, it can't be!
[Mephiles smashes in]
MP: Yeah, fool! Now, I will stop you, thanks to the aid of Dark, Speedy, and Devilish!
[long battle]
MS: Ugh... I....... lost? No.......
(system shutdown)
[back to Stardust Eggman]
Chapter 4: Eggman Shows Them the Way:
Shade: But wait... where's Eggman?
???: Darn it!
[they open the closet, and Eggman is using a laptop in there]
Egg: What? How'd you-- never mind. Wondering why you didn't remember? It's because of my new forget-me-mote! Press this button to kick me in the butt! (snicker)
[Dark presses it, and a flash of light]
Egg: I'll leave you to your acts...
[Eggman closes the closet door]
Shade: Ugh... what happened?
Dark: I don't know...
Chao: You never know.
Devilish: He has a point there, Darko.
MS: Alright, everybody SHADDUP! We've got to think... what just happened?
Dark: I don't--
All: We know.
Shade: I know what happened! I have the picture clear in my head...
The End?