Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Volume 1: Starting the Army Hey, I'm DJay32, Topic Creator of DCRPG, and creator of Dark Chao Adventures (the 50+ episode-series about chao), as well as owner of Shade (kick-ass Dark chao). This is the REFURBISHED edition of DCRPG Volume 1. I offer a bit more commentary than I used to, and explain a bit more. And stuff. First of all, WHAT IS DCRPG? Well, it's the prologue to DCA, really. Made AFTER DCA, but story-wise, it comes before. Twenty missions... tons of chao. And I've had to deal with ALL of them. Volume 1 of DCRPG contains Missions 1-4, or the Dark-Hawk missions. At this time, only two people participated-- me, and Neferious (man of many names). That's it. Let's start. /////////////// Welcome, player, to DCRPG Volume 1! This contains Shade and Dark-Hawk's adventures through Episode 4! When more people join, they'll be included, as well. Allow me to present... EPISODE 1! *note: Only about half was made by me, Neferious (Dark-Hawk) made the other half* Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Volume 1 by DJay32 and Neferious the Kurotatsu -------------- Dark Chao Role-Playing Game (DCRPG) Mission 1: The Crazy Saga (While Somewhat Soggy) Begins [the game begins in the Dark Garden, Shade (me) is recruiting chao to help on his newest mission] Shade: Okay, you little chao-guys! If you are/want to be a Dark Chao, please SIGN YOUR NAME, and your ATTRIBUTES (Speed, Flight, Power, Swim, Stamina) right here on the dotted line, and I'll see what I can do. However, if you are/want to be a Hero Chao (or, in my words, a loser [no offense, this is Shade speaking]), please do the same. Please, however, remember to state whether you are a Dark or a Hero. Just... no pictures, and no asking for my autograph [once again, Shade speaking, no offense]. Let's get this party started! [later, in the Hero Garden, Shade and the 'army' are marching forward] Shade: I have one last thing to say. After signing your chao, you must choose to either apprehend Chao, the Hero guy, or go around and attack the guards. Make up whatever it is you want to that'll happen as you do it. (Need an example? Okay, let's say I'm Shade) Shade, Dark. Grey chao, nothing special. Stamina. I choose to attack Chao. Yourchaonamehere: Chao! I will get you with an iron fist! Chao: Heh... yeah, right. [Chao dodges and sends Yourchaonamehere flying into the pool] (END EXAMPLE. Of course, what I said was just an example. ANYTHING YOU WANT can happen there, as long as it's not plot-changing, BUT... the first one to capture Chao gets something...) Dark Hawk:I'm great at flying and when I'm in the air i go faster than shadow.My one dream is to become a dark Phoenix and my arch enemy is hawk my hero counter-pod we're twins but we both despise each other. He knows magic but I do too and I'm much better at it.I turned him into a frog Chao for a whole week once *snicker* I hope to be second in command shade. May I? *Starts grinning devilishly like he always does when he wants to please someone* Shade: Ah, Dark Hawk, eh? Yes, sounds... evil. Demonic, slightly. Yeah, uh, you joined in a bit late, I already killed Chao. [Chao walks in] Chao: No you didn't! Remember? You got a boo-boo, then cried and went to McDonald's? Shade: You can't prove that! Chao: Yeah I can. Here's the video. Shade: That was... uh.... a Hero Chao dressed up as me! Chao: Sure it was. So I guess that McDonald's cheeseburger you're holding is just there because it appeared there? Shade: Um... yeah, that's right! Great guess... for a Hero. Chao: Dark Hawk, don't listen to this weirdo! Join the Heroes, become Light Hawk! Shade: If you've played Paper Mario 2 all the way to the end, you should know what happens if you join as a SLAVE. Chao: HEY! No spoilers! Shade: Wh-whuh? That was ACTUALLY in PM2? I didn't know! WAAAAAA! You spoiled it for me! You're mean! I just made it up 'cuz I needed a reference that sounded real! I didn't even KNOW there was a Paper Mario 2! Chao: Pfft. Crybaby. So, Dark Hawk, you have a choice-- join the Heroes and be honest, starting off as a private and working your way up-- Shade: --OR sticking with me, and I'll make you second in command! Dark: I thought I was second in command! Shade: Nah, you were actually third, I just never told you. Plus, I never came up with anybody worthy enough for our cooliness. So, Dark Hawk, choose wisely. Stick with me, and I'll put that mountain back into the Dark Garden (even in the script DCA, I'll say when something will affect the whole 'show'), so you can jump off and fly all you want! I'll even steal--uh, BORROW that dude Kamek's wand so you can use magic from this book called 'Dark Prognosticus' that I stol-- uh, BORROWED from that dude Count Bleck! Um... I'll also tell you how I opened a space-time rip to the Paper universe. Chao: C'mon, that was Mephiles who did that! Really, I'll let you have a fresh start, a new leaf! Join me now, and I will forgive your attacks! Shade: Okay, even DARK knows that's a spoiler. Chao: I thought you didn't even know that game existed! Shade: Uh... which game we talking bout? Never mind. You want MORE propositions, Dark Hawk? Chao offers you nothing but the Private rank. I offer you (ones I offer ALL Dark Chao have a star next to them) - *The cave/mountain to return to the garden! - Kamek's magic wand! - Dark Prognist... Promo... Paper Mario... uh... Dark Prog... Dark Frog............... that magic book! - The rank of Commodore/Brigadier/Air Commodore Dark Hawk! - *Access to the EXCLUSIVE-TO-DARK CHAO Shadow the Hedgehog the Therapist! - *Access to the EXCLUSIVE-TO-DARK CHAO Rouge the Bat the Massager/Insurance Sailswoman! - *Access to the EXCLUSICE-TO-DARK CHAO Eggman the Omelett-maker/Transportation Guy! - (Only for Dark Chao Lieutenant Commander/Major/Squadron Leader or higher) Access to the Space-Time Rip (STR)! - (Only for ANY KIND Lieutenant/Captain/Flight Lieutenant or higher) Access to the Stardust Eggman, which I will go over later, but it's a REALLY cool thing (you'll know what it is if you read DCA)! - (Only for Dark Chao higher than Devilish [he'll be different ranks over time]) the Game Room in Stardust Eggman! - (Only for those in the 'Navy Shadows' Dark Chao Navy) Access to those awesome cannons and guns and blowing-up thingies in the ships! And finally: - (Only for Commodore/You) Say in what we do during missions! (others have say in it, too, just barely) Shade: So, sound good? Seriously, ALL THIS could be yours if you refuse Chao's offer (which you most likely will)! Now, to go over Stardust Eggman, which differs from the script a little: If you're in Stardust Eggman, you won't be able to participate in missions (unless the mission takes place IN the Stardust Eggman). You can only stay in the Stardust Eggman for 10 posts before the Poker Gang kicks you out for being annoying (exception in next part). You can play poker against other Chao, and during special occasions, the Poker Gang. While playing poker, you can't be kicked out UNLESS you choose to. How to play poker: join in, you can think of 5 cards, I'll decide the other two (evil grin). YES, EVEN FOR THE POKER GANG, so you have a SLIGHT chance of winning. Trust me, Metal Sonic is da rula at da poka table! Of course, the other rules still apply. If I mess up choosing two cards (y'know, violate rules such as only 4 of the same card in one deck, one poker match is only one deck, then if I say 5 or more of a card), then you get to pick that/those card(s)! IMPORTANT: Under VERY FEW cirmustances may ANYBODY be an actual character such as Sonic, Metal, Shadow, etc. I'll say when someone else can be them, usually for very FUNNY occasions. The biggest reason, which you'll see alot is: when I think you're high ranked enough to choose the fate for that character/whoever they're fighting. Obviously, I play a huge role in this RPG. Of course, though, I mean, I'm the creator of DCA/DCRPG! But, like I've shown, I let others rule a little. (Okay, I let others rule alot) The GAME ROOM: Play any other game, ANY other game. Even DDR, Hide-and-seek, whatever! As long as it DOESN'T INCLUDE A CHARACTER/CHAO DEATH! Injuries while playing: Allowed. You choose if/when your character gets injured, BUT... hehehe... when pokering against the Poker Gang...... HAHAHAHAHA, MUAHAHAHAHA! ...Expect a... broken leg, or two. Let me get this straight for you: THE POKER GANG = DANGER. If you lose a bet against them, you may as well just grab a chainsaw and hold it up to your chin! If you win, expect a beating. If you CHEAT, expect a HUMONGUS MASSACRE. Of course, if you win, you can expect a worthy prize, such as an upgrade in rank, a trophy, perhaps. Just to make you feel safe: the Poker Gang only appears on Thursdays, unless otherwise noted-- [Shade is gagged and stuffed into a bag by Metal Sonic] MS: Okay, allow ME to give you the REAL low-down on Poker: WE, the Poker Gang, will NOT hold back at wringing your little no-necks! So, make us mad, and you'd better run! WHEN you get an injury, you MUST take 3 posts (double-posts and modify posts don't count) to recover! And not IF you get one, WHEN you get one! We'll be here EVERY day, so watch out! Of course, the only Poker Games that count are on Thursdays. Who's the security? You're looking at 'em. If we catch you doing ANYTHING wrong, we'll put the hurt on ya! Okay, I'll leave you to your inane antics, so see ya! If you want more explanations (which I WILL give eventually), then ask me. d-hawk: hey ms! if you put a beating on me I'll put a beating on your poker gang *waves own magic wand* *DT gets thrown against the wall and the magic force rips one of his tails off* now don't threaten me MS! i can disassemble you as easily as a train set *cackles wildy* >:[ now I'll just start off at the first rank so i can have some fun *waves magic wand DH becomes first rank member* Shade: Lemme get this straight, by 'first rank', you mean the beginner? If so, you have a CHOICE: (this is for ALL people playing) The Navy Shadows where you start off as a Seaman, The Shady Shooters where you start off as a Private, The Darkish Commonwealth where you start off as an Aircraftman. So, choose wisely! [Metal shows up] MS: Yo, I got your message, and I heard you wanted to be a Seaman/Private/Aircraftman! Well, you may think it means I can't kick your butt since you can't come into the Stardust Eggman, well NOPE! Since you're lower ranked than I am, I'm the General of my army, I can come see you and kick your butt! Shade: And, uh... since... you decided to NOT be Commodore, you don't get the magic wand OR Dark Pro... Pron... Por--uh whatever. (quietly) But I get that last one. (normally) And, to punish your foolish behavior-- You: What? Shade: --Metal forced me to say this, we're gonna tie you to a chair and Metal's gonna beat you up. [they do that, and you just got a BROKEN LEG! You can post, but you can't actually DO anything but heal n' talk n' stuff 'till you've healed! You will heal after you post another time. Not that post, but the one after that] Shade: Sorry you had to go through that... well, I wish you luck in our next mission: Land Before Sky, Except After Sea (Heh, a little grammar pun). MS: Yeah... be warned, pathetic chao: ALL OF YOU chao, we're invading the Chao Gardens; all three of them, and you can't stop us! (that was the mission) Shade: You heard them! Get suited up, and Dark Hawk... heal your leg. D-hawk: *gets enraged* you wish you hadn't done that MS *zaps MS with Chao hands* *MS's head falls off his shoulders* i may not have my wand anymore but i still know magic *cackles again* shady shooters! Shade: Perfect! I've got all your information, Private Dark Hawk of the Shady Shooters! Plus, since you just posted, your injury's gone! And, uh... well... how do I put this simply? Um... Me: I'll tell him. I'm being shipped off to Siberia, so I'm afraid I won't be able to participate anymore, nor will I be able to post the remaining DCA episodes. It's a job thing, hope you'll understand. I'm gonna freeze to death, I just know it. See ya never again... (sniff) real me: are you serious!?!? D-hawk:NO!!!!!!!! me:can you pm me all the episodes before you leave? I can't believe it at all. I was thinking nobody would believe me when I mentioned that! (wow...) Just... listen: I posted YESTERDAY, which was APRIL... FOOLS... DAY. Yeah, I can't believe anybody would fall for it. I'm not saying you're anything bad, everybody falls for April Fools jokes. BTW, about the remaining DCA episodes: all you gotta do is respond to the DCA topic to get more! And, uh... when you respond, tell me if you want just the first scary one or both of the scaries episodes I've ever made! (also, about the joke, it should've occured to you that I didn't post in the Goodbye forum! Actually, I forgot to, but anyway) Okay, moving on in the RPG: [the Hero chao bust in the Dark Garden] Shade: AHHH! Shady shooters-- get them! *shoots chao in the head with chao pioson that makes him pass-out for 15 minutes* D-hawk:take that chao! [15 Minutes later] Chao: Ugh... you Darks are stronger than I thought... well, you can't beat my PERMA-BANNA! Shade: Perma-whatnow? Chao: Don't ask, long story. Beat my warrior, nicknamed "Perma-Banna (PB)" and you win this war! [ps: Didja get my PM? Didja like it?] PB: I will crush you all under one blow with a pound of pinty wal-mart! Shade: ...okay, I gotta write that line down and use it in an Episode, that's CLASSIC! PB: Do not MOCK my uba-delish phrazerz o' phunnynesh! Dark: Shade, WRITE THAT DOWN! Shade: I am, I AM! It's comedy gold! PB: ...? YOU DAAAAARE MOCK MOI? Da BALLIN' Poima Banna? Well, eat three times yo weight in fromage yo foo from da depths of wacky-spanky idiosyncrasy land-place of doomio plus ka-zoomio! Shade: Pffffft! Wait, spell that last word for me, k? PB: Duh... sure: kay, ay, dash, zee, oh, oh, em, eye, oh, exclamation mark. Shade: Thanks! Okay, NOW let's fight! Oh, before I do, could you say ONE last funny thing? PB: Shutchoskatchewan j00 fewl watcha talkin' 'bout willis; lez git it own! Shade: You heard the fool; fight! Oh, MAN, that's stupid! *shoots PB with poison that kills him* DH:can i kill Chao now shade?Because that poison will ware off in 2 minutes. Chao: Um, NO you can't kill me. Why? Because I'm gone now. Shade: Yeah, he's gone. You missed him. Perma-Banna's dead, sorta, and, uh... you've been PROMOTED! Member: Private Dark Hawk of the Shady Shooters is now Corporal Dark Hawk of the Shady Shooters! Shade: Sweet, CORPORAL! 'Sup? Ya feel like... maybe TPing the Hero Garden? d- hawk: first off what does coporol mean second,Tping is not a real word thus i don't know what it means >.> Shade: Corporal, according to Wikipedia.us, is the second-worst rank in... something. Can't remember. Also, TPing, pronounced "Tee-pee-ing" is basically throwing toilet paper over something. So, I'll ask again, feel like throwing toilet paper (TP) all over the Hero Garden? oh in that case i'll run home and grab my T.P bazooka and knock out gas so the hero chao can't chase us when we are T.P-ing them *runs home and gets bazooka and knockout gas* heres 2 gas masks!*gives shade a gas mask* Shade: Um... whoops, did I zone out again? Sorry, I was so caught up in Super Paper Mario, Genesis (band, not system), killing all Hero Chao, and my brand-new foldable windows... I sorta forgot to visit here again! Plus, with my new blog and all that stuff, and-- sorry. Well, you ready to start BLOWING the Hero Garden to smithereens? Oh, by the way, I've made it so the Stardust Eggman is available to ALL ranks! So, any time you fellas wanna play some old chao, or goldchao, or even poker, just tell me! (by the way, I really will post the next two DCAs if you just post in the topic again! It's been a while... alone on a silent hi-- I shouldn't have said that. TRUST ME.) Okay, so let's FIRE! [BOOM] [the Hero Garden is now COVERED in Toilet Paper, and the Hero Chao are knocked out] Shade: Yessssss! Mission accomplished, pal! (Wonder why we're the only two here...) Uh-oh... looks like Sonic and Tails are going somewhere in the Tornado! Wait... they're headed towards the Stardust Eggman! But... why do they look shinier than they normally do? HEY! There's ANOTHER Sonic and Tails flying towards the Dark Garden! Which should we follow? well duh they could destroy our chao fleet! lets go *teleports back to the dark garden with shade* like my new teleportation spell I learned it while you were gone! *starts smiling develishly again* [in the Dark Garden...] Shade: Here we are... Dark: It's too quiet... You: Shade, look out! [a giant monster eats Shade, and I play as Dark for this mission] Dark: NO! SHADE! Who will play Lysanchao in "A Midsummer Chao's Dream" now? [the monster reveals itself as PERFECT CHAOS, and Sonic and Tails come in] Dark: Sonic! Tails! Help! Perfect Chaos is-- Sonic: Doing exactly what he was told to do. You: You're not Sonic... [Sonic transforms into Metal Sonic, and Tails into the Tails Doll] TD: Yesssssss.... thanks to my powerz.... we may transform. Dark: You friend! [crickets chirp] Dark: ...Huh? Oh... FIEND! MS: Yes, MUAHAHAHAHA! Soon, the WORLD will be taken over! You should've followed the REAL Sonic and Tails, and been safe... in the cell we would've thrown you in! Now, Perfect Chaos... ATTACK THE PUNY CHAO! BOSS BATTLE: P e r f e c t C h a o s _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ H e a l t h: I (1) M a g i c: X (10) S k i l l: III (3) How to fight bosses: The bosses here usually challenge you to a dangerous, deadly game of ROCHEMBEAU! Dark; Rock-em-Bow? Where do Paper Mario characters fit into this? NO! Rochembeau! It means: Rock-Paper-Scissors Just in case (you never know): How to play Rochembeau-- You choose Rock, Paper, or Scissors. The other person chooses Rock, Paper, or Scissors. Whoever chooses the winning element wins. Rock smashes Scissors Scissors cut Paper Paper covers Rock Just to make it fair, I've chosen my one NOW. So, in order to beat this Episode, you must beat Perfect Chaos! GO! *D-HAWK used a magic point perfect chaos spits out shade* *perfect chaos lunges towards shade but D-hawk jumps in the way* d-hawk:auggghhh! *perfect chaos eats D-hawk!* SHADES MIND: D-hawk's telepithy:shade....shade.... you have to take my place in rochembeau... Technically, that's cheating, but okay. JUST THIS ONCE, OKAY? (Maybe again later) [PURE DRAMA ALERT, ALSO DARK'S ONLY THING HE'S GOOD AT ALERT] Shade: Rock, paper, scissors, SHOE! [Shade puts his hand in the shape of a rock] PC: RAWR! [Perfect Chaos' tentacle is paper-shaped] MS: Ahaha... *a-hem*... sorry, thinking Dimenti-- never mind. Paper... covers... ROCK. [Perfect Chaos eats Shade] Dark: NOOOO!!! Grr... best two out of three? MS: You're on. Dark: Rock, paper, scissors, SHOE! [Dark: Scissors, PC: Paper] Dark: HA HA! Scissors... cut... PAPER! MS: Wha!? Grr... win one more. [Dark: Scissors, PC: Paper] Dark: HA HA! Scissors... cut... PAPER! Whoa, deja vu! MS: ...Best three out of five. Dark: NO! MS: Okay, beat ME at it and you'll get Shade and whatsisname back! Dark: Dark Hawk... I will avenge you, new recruit. MS: Ahaha... um... I mean, MUAHAHAHA! I'll call Perfect Chaos off if you beat me... 1... hundred... times. Dark: WHA!? ....Play 'The Musical Box', and you're on. WAIT... Karaoke Version. [MONTAGE! Reminiscent of a Beta Episode's montage] Dark: (singing quietly, almost whispering) Play me Old King Cole... [Dark wins some rounds] That I... [wins more] May join... [wins MORE] ...with you. [The room turns pitch black] Dark: (a little louder) All your hearts now seem so... [steam fills the room as spotlights shine on Dark holding a guitar, and one hand in shape of a rock] Dark: (quietly) Rock smashes scissors (singing) FAR... from me... [Dark wins more, and plays acoustic guitar] It hardly seems to MAT...TER now... [he wins more rounds] Dark: And the nurse will tell you lies... [MS growls as Dark pulls out a paper-shaped hand against MS' rock] Dark: Of a kingdom... BEYOND... the skies. [once more, he wins] But I am lost... within.... this.... haaaaaalf-wooooorld.... [he wins even more] It hardly seems to MAT...TER now... [MS attempts to punch him, but Dark pulls out a paper-shaped hand] Dark: Play me my song... [he wins some more] Here it comes again... [even more] Play me my song... [much more] Here it comes again... [he plays harder acoustic and wins more] Dark: Just a little bit... [MS attempts to poke his eyes out, but Dark pulls out a rock-shaped hand] Just a little bit more time... [more rounds won] Time left... to live out... my life. [long acoustic solo as Dark wins around ten more rounds: Dark- 23, MS- 0] Dark: Play me my song... [wins more] Here it comes again... [wins even more] Play me my song... [much more] Here it comes again (echo)... [Dark throws the guitar at Perfect Chaos and pulls out an electric guitar, and plays a solo] [Devilish appears out of nowhere and plays electric piano] [as he wins his 30th round, Dark plays very softly on an acoustic guitar] Dark: "Old King Cole was a merry old soul... [wins more] And a merry old soul was he... [wins more] So he called for his pipe... [MS growls] And he called for his bowl... [MS tries to karate-chop Dark, but is confronted by a scissor-shaped hand] And he called for his fidllers... three..." [Dark plays a little fiercer, a TINY BIT, a few seconds later, everything stops] Dark: And the clock. [wins more] Dark: Tick tock. [wins more] On the mantlepiece... [plays a few seconds, and starts to get quieter with every word] Dark: And I want... [MS snarls at Dark, who plays unaffected] Dark: And I feel... [MS stomps his foot on the ground] Dark: And I know... [Dark wins another round] Dark: And I touch... [Dark plays electric fiercely as he says loudly] Dark: The WALL..........! [Dark plays one fierce guitar solo, and by the end of it is Dark- 70, MS- 3] [Suddenly, Dark plays softly] Dark: She's a lady... she's got TIME! [Dark wins more] Dark: Brush back your hair and let me... [Devilish silently says "She's got time... for she's a lady..."] Dark: Get to know your face... [Dark wins a few more rounds] Dark: She's a lady, she's MINE! [wins more] Dark: Brush back your hair, and let me... [Devilish silently says, "She is mine...... for she's a lady...."] Dark: Get to know your.... flesh. [Dark wins more rounds, and starts playing louder] Dark: I've been waiting here for so long... [wins more] Dark: And all this time that passed me by... [wins more] Dark: It doesn't seem to matter now... [wins more as Dark and Devilish play calmly, yet very fiercely] Dark: You stand there with your fixed expression... [wins more] Dark: Casting doubt on all I have to say... [wins a few more, up to 80 versus 10] [they play a little fiercer] Dark: Why don't you TOUCH ME, TOUUUUCH ME? [Dark wins more] Dark: Why don;t you TOUCH ME, TOUUUUCH ME? [Dark wins more, everytime he shouts "now" scary light flashes onto him] Dark: Touch me... NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! [Dark wins more] Dark: NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! [Dark wins more, up to 90-10] Dark: NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! Now.................. [Dark finishes the song with a very amazing ending] [END MONTAGE, Devilish disappears] MS: Best 200 out of-- Dark: Shut up. MS: No, really.... [Dark bonks Metal with the guitar] MS: Fine... I'll free Shade. [Dark bonks him again] MS: AND Dark Hawk... [MS does that and leaves] Shade: Wow, Dark... that was amazing! I didn't know you listened to (or knew about) Genesis! Dark: What? Who's Genesis? [wha, wha, whaaaaaaaa] END! (of episode) ------------ That was Mission 1. Hope you enjoyed it. So, what's the dilly-o with Dark-o singing? Well, I randomly felt like putting in one of my favorite songs in there. While Somewhat Soggy (that's what we'll call Mission 1) set the bar pretty high for me, and I've only rarely made Missions that end up as good as it. For one thing, Dark singing Genesis was really epic, and the rochembau scene is one of my personal favorites. After all, While Somewhat Soggy is TECHNICALLY the first ever adventure of the DCA cast (story-wise. Really, Chao In Space, DCA 101 is), and had to introduce Dark's love for Genesis. Here's #2, "Slamma-Jamma Fighting League Losers!" That one, I did not plan properly, and ended way too quickly. ------------ Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 2: Slamma-Jamma Fighting League Losers! [the first scene begins in the Dark Garden] Shade: Okay, Seargent Dark Hawk... as Seargent, you can... I dunno. [Dark comes running] Dark: SHADE! Excuse me, King of Shadows... Shade: Stop it with the Shakespeare references. Dark: Well, there's this poster of a new fighting competition! See? Shade: Hmm... yadda yadda, I don't care-- wait... "For Seargents and Up"... a-ha! Seargent Dark Hawk, sir... you wanted to know what Seargents do? They participate in contests for the Kings! DH: But, sir-- Shade: Shut up and go. You want new recruits, right? Then every time you beat a guy, dab this purple flower into his eyelids! Dark: Pfft... and he says I make too many Shakespeare references... Shade: Shut up. GO, NOW! [the place is now the Battle Arena (made up)] Announcer: Round 1 is the newbie Dark-Hawk versus... the GOOMBA BRO-- uh... um... the... BAD...NIK.... BROTHERS.... yeah. [defeat these two badniks, dab the flower into their eyelids, and they'll join the Darks] okay...but im not sure the poison works on chao that arentbaby chao...but please stop call it purple flower because: 1)its not even purple, its red 2)poison sounds better than flower... *changes purple flowers name to red poison* any ways how will i beat them with magic of course *uses magic spell* B-BRO1 gets tossed against the wallwith magic! B-BRO1 hp is now 90/100 B-BRO2 attacks DH and ground pounds him! DH is now 93/100 DH uses chaotic blast again B-BRO1! B-BRO1'S hp is now 70/100 DH:this is easy*taunting voice* B-BROS:oh rly? well u will c r greatest move! {DH mind}:Man,i hate chao who talk like that >.> *B-BROS TRANS FORM INTO:the chaotix chaotic robot HP 1000* DH:holy crap. DH:well i have a super power too! *DH takes out the 3 sacred stones of fire,water,and rock and throws them in the air* *DH zaps them with his and while in the air,as soon as they hit the ground they start glowing red* *DH gathers them up and he starts glowing white* *DH turns into mega-chaos-hyper-ruby-fire-monotone-ultra-twotone-moon chao HP:1001* [the robots stare at the chao with the really long name, and explode] [Shade calls you on some sort of cell phone] Shade: You idiot! You were supposed to slip the pur--... red poision... into them! They'd be reprogrammed to join us! Now they exploded... great. Oh, watcher of the skies, please let the next battle be against the chao... (quietly) and stop me from making Genesis references... Announcer: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiit's TIME! Time... for RRRRRRRRROUND 2! We have some intergalactic travelers here, say hello to the lord of dark matter itself... (NAME CENSORED FOR SPOILER REASONS)!!! Let's just call it... "It". ...How many Genesis references am I gonna MAKE, really? Wow... [It smiles, but when it sees you, Its eyes disappear and Its mouth becomes one large, red eye] I KNOW WHAT to do! pokes it's red eye with a stick! it's HP turns to 0/100! DH: now where do i put the red poison... *its mouth appears again* ahh...*puts red poison in it's mouth* *it turns into a cupcake!* oops..wrong poison *puts real red pioson in its mouth after he turns back* Shade (cell phone): Congrats! We now have Zer--uh... number 2, on our team! Announcer: Now, for Round 3, we make some Super Paper Mario references as the Duel Of 100 comes as one! By that I mean 100 warriors are all fighting you at once... for the boss of part 1. This contest has 3 parts, each part has 3 fights, and at the end, we make a DBZ reference as you need to fight ME, the Announcer! [a tiny warrior walks up to you] You: Awww.... wook at da widdle baby! [the tiny guy kicks you in the shin] You: ACK! Oof.... ow. Tiny guy: Pwepawe to fight, big ****! why you little! *Zaps tiny guy and he becomes hipnotized* tiny guy: I forfeit! DH:okay!*puts red poison in tiny guys mouth* next round pointy hat guy! P.H.G:I will get yo- *anvil appears above him* P.H.G: holy crap. *anvil falls on him* ~conveniently his head is sticking out above the anvil with his mouth wide open~ DH:yay!*puts red poison in PHG'S mouth (12 rounds later) (putting red poison in flying pointy hat guy's mouth) DH:okay will the rest of king sammer guy's guys come forward *they come in the arena* DH:I will fight you all! *they all agree and start fighting* DH:*uses magic* says magic spell:KINASIRU! *they all collapse to the ground passed out* okay!*puts red poison in all enemies mouths* ------------ DH'S checklist + means check + beaten all enemies + put red poison in there mouths fight the announcer Announcer: Wow! You are strong! So, your next fight is-- ME!? Um... uh... OW! Oh, my stomach! Ooh, I'm sorry, but y'know, stomach cramps and all that... hehehe... man, and I REALLY wanted to fight... see ya. [END OF EPISODE (Surprisingly short one)] ---------- That's number 2 for ya, with a DBZ reference at the end. In Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2, you can fight in tourneys, and when you win, the announcer says you can fight him, but, he's got a stomach ache. So... yeah. Also, the NAME CENSORED guy is 02, from Kirby 64. Here's a better one, which introduces an enemy who SHALL return... sometime... "Home Improvement-- Dark Garden Edition." Introduces the X-Nauts. ...I said they'd return? Aw, geez... well, I guess I could find some way to let them in. ---------- Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 3: Home Improvement-- Dark Garden Edition [this game begins in the Hero Garden] Chao: Okay, so, we're all set on the plan, then? Yeah, we're gonna fool those crummy idiots so much! [the Hero Chao cheer] [in the Dark Garden...] Dark: (sigh) So bored.... [...IT floats up to Dark] It: Come now, Dark! You can't honestly be bored! Over one hundred people joined the team! Dark: ...Okay, since when did you talk like the devil? It: Hmm? Oh. (whispering) I mean, how can you be bored? Dark: Oh, I dunno. I just... need more chao to play with. [this all takes place before the series, I guess, if you notice any mistakes, tell me] It: Well, maybe we should ask Shade to get a new mission. Dark: Yeah! That's a great idea, 02-- uh... It! [they do that] Shade: WHAT!? A mission!? What on CHAO WORLD are you thinking!? Nothing interesting happens anymore, there's no POINT in having a-- [DING DONG!] Dark: Oh boy! [Dark runs to the door] Shade: ...okay, since when did we have a door bell? ...Or a door? [Shade runs to check it out, and at the door is a crew of Chao] Chao1: Good day, sir... (looks at paper) Shade! I'm Mister Eroh, captain of the Home Improvement folks you ordered! Shade: But we didn't order any-- Eroh: Allrighty then! Let's get to work! C'mon Haoc, Nucklek, Ailt, Peedys, and Quaa! (these guys each have funny accents, so most typos are supposed to be like that) Shade: ..."Quaa"? Quaa: Dunt miik fun of it, 'tis me family's name. It: So... how do you pronoumce that name? "Knuckuhlk"? Nucklek: Nah, "Nuck-lehk". Don't make fun of MINE, either, it's MY family's name. [Dark-Hawk goes to Shade] DH: (tired) Who are those guys? I was napping. [Eroh runs up to him and shakes his hand] Eroh: G'day, mistur... Drak Hwak? You: "DRAQUACK"!? How dare you make fun of my name! I'm "Dark Hawk"! Sheesh! Eroh: Sorry, I'm from somewhere else. Somewhere REAL far. This place called the Eroh Ardeng. Dark: (to Shade) Is it just me, or are these guys funny? Ailt: Ha-ha funny, or "Ready to kick your arseroony" funny? Dark: HA-HA FUNNY......... (gulp) Shade: Dark Hawk, whaddya suppose we do? DH:SHADE!,the sammrguys keep hogging the poooool!! sammer guys:it is our pool to ya know! DH:fine Shade: Okay then. I vote on checking out the Hero Garden... just in case. [in the Hero Garden...] Dark: There's nobody here! Shade: I knew it... guys, ever heard of Pig Latin? Y'know... where you take the first letter to the end, and add 'Ay'? Such as 'devil' is 'evilday'. Heh... "Evil Day"... "Be"..."eBay"... HA! Anyway, try doing that with the hero chao names. Hero-- "Erohay", then take away the "Ay"! "Eroh"! "Haocay"--"Haoc". "Nucklekay"--"Knuckle"! "Quaaay"... pfft.... "Quaa"..... HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn't say that with a straight face. Let's rat them out. [back in the Dark Garden] Shade: J'ACCUSE, QUAA! Quaa: 'Eh? Shade: Er, uh, I meant "Eroh"... sorry. Eroh: What is it? Dark: You guys are fakes! [the workers get nervous] Shade: Yeah, take off those costumes, CHAO, HERO, SPEEDY, TAIL, KNUCKLE, and AQUA! Peedys: Uh? Wan me tu bust 'em out on a rail? Eroh: Nah, these guys... I can handle them. [Eroh cracks his knuckles] Eroh: Accuse us of being such a low group of freaks? We're not. Although, you were right when you said we were FAKING.... [Chao comes running into the room, followed by the others] Chao: ATTACK! --Wha? [they stop] Haoc: Oi! That guy looks like me a little! Liz git 'em! [Dark-Hawk comes walking in, carrying a laptop] DH: 'K, guys, I've done some research! Y'know those guys? Yeah? Well, turns out they're a group of aliens! From ANOTHER DIMENSION! How cool is that!? Shade: Glad you could make it... but... you notice these guys here? DH: Huh? (sees the workers) AAAHH! Eroh: Folks... allow us to introduce... ourselves. [Eroh jumps up high, and suddenly disappears] [the chao look around a little] Dark: Where'd he go? OOF! [In front of Dark appears a tiny man wearing a heavy coat, and a scarf covering the mouth, a hat, and goggles, so you can't see any part of him] Eroh: X-Naut Captain 'Zero' reporting for duty! [the others do the same] Haoc: X-Naut Elite 'Havoc' reporting for duty! Nucklek: X-Naut PhD 'Sumleck' reporting for duty! Ailt: X-Naut 'Aleduke' reporting for duty! Peedys: X-Naut 'Piidiiz' reporting for duty! Quaa: X-Naut Elite 'Swerve' reporting for duty! [Shade's mouth is wide open] Shade: ..........Dark, you're gonna need to learn "Supper's Ready" to beat these guys. [Swerve destroys a wall] Shade: ...........Never mind, you'll need "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway"! Dark: All 2 hours!? Shade: All 2 hours. Dark: I'm on it. [Dark runs off] Zero: Face it, you pathetic Chao........... the X-Nauts will win! All those wafer-thin and evil... there is no beating us. Havoc, get these idiots and send them to our base... ON THE MOON. [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN] [on the Paper moon...] Shade: Well, looks like this is it. THIS... IS.... IT. WHY!? Dark: Don't worry, sir, I have memorized all of "Nursery Chryme", "Foxtrot", and "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway"! Shade: Good. You sure that's enough? You may as well memorize ALL of Genesis' songs. Dark: (sigh)... look, I'll sing "Watcher of the Skies" and see how it goes, okay? Shade: Throw in "Get 'Em Out By Friday" and I'll promote Dark-Hawk. Dark: Why not me? Shade: 'Cause I said so. DH: What about me? Shade: Listen up, and listen well, Seargent Dark-Hawk: while Dark is preparing his guitars, and Devilish prepares his piano, I want you to sneak into the main room of this base and steal the blueprints for the escape pod. Got it? Anything can happen while you're out there... so watch out for X-Nauts.... those guys are only ONE TEAM. There's tons of X-Nauts out there. There's your mission, GO! can't I just teleport to the blueprints? anyways on moon of paper mario DH:finally i got the blue prints! *the X-naut squad appears* DH:holy crud! Shade: Continuation. The first time, I wasn't experienced enough. My dog ate it. I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? I'm only a chao! And, uh... okay.... so the X-Nauts appeared. And........? Look, I'm busy thinking of an escape plan, Dark's tuning his guitar, Devilish is tuning his piano, so nobody can help you! You have to fight them yourself! ...Or teleport here, either one's good. It's just... if you teleport, they'll follow you and get us. DH:I'll fight*lays wand on the ground and and leader snaps it* DH:huh you wish you had'nt done that*eyes turn red**grabs zero punches him through the wall**DH's eyes turn pure black**roars like a dinsaur*starts looking like chao version of mephiles*YAAAAAAAAAGH!!*GRABS zero's neck and strangle him and zero dies* *LOOKS AT X-nauts* Havoc:uh-oh DH:*puts hands in the position like goku does in DBZ when doing the hamehame*siatsu!(seeatsoo)....kansute(consuta~long a~)...frisono(freesony)...sumay!!!!!!!!!(soomay)*giant pure black ball appears*yahhhh!! *giant ball destroys half the x-naut base thus killing more than half of the x-naut population* *giant black ball disappears* in a blink of an eye grabs havoc shoves him to the grounds killing him too! *looks even more like a mephiles chao* Shade: Okay... apparently, the materials needed would take some years to get. LUCKILY, there's an escape pod right next to our cell. [you fall over anime-style] [Zero stops us] Zero: We want our revenge! RAAAAAAAWR! I mean... ROAAAR! Dark: Wait! I have an idea! [cut to Zero sitting on a couch] Zero: (sigh) This new condo idea was great! [meanwhile, Dark's sitting at a desk, peppy music plays for a moment, then turns into techno] [Dark presses a button on his intercom, contacting Shade] Shade: Yes, mister John Pebble? What shall I do for Styx enterprises? Dark: I want you to do something about the X-Nauts. Shade: What? Dark: I will tell you........ Genesis-style! (Dark DOES get out of this Genesis-fad, if you request it) Shade: Sing it to me! Dark: (singing as John Pebble of Styx enterprises) Get ‘em out by Friday! You don’t get paid till the last one’s well on his way. Get ‘em out by Friday! It’s important that we keep to schedule, there must be no delay! [Shade hurries to the X-Nauts in their condo] Shade: (as Mark Hall of Styx enterprises [sometimes called "The Winkler") I represent a firm of gentlemen who recently purchased this house and all the others in the road, In the interest of humanity we’ve found a better place for you to go, go-woh, go-woh! Havoc: (as Mrs. Barrow, a tenant [I guess we could say Havoc is a girl]) Oh no, this I can’t believe, Oh Mary, they’re asking us to leave. [Mr. Pebble (Dark) calls Mr. Hall (Shade) on the radio] Dark: Get ‘em out by Friday! I’ve told you before, ‘s good many gone if we let them stay. And if it isn’t easy, You can squeeze a little grease and our troubles will soon run away. [Mr. Hall puts the radio away] Havoc: After all this time, they ask us to leave, And I told them we could pay double the rent. I don’t know why it seemed so funny, Seeing as how they’d take more money. The winkler called again, he came here this morning, With four hundred pounds and a photograph of the place he has found. A block of flats with central heating. I think we’re going to find it hard. [Mr. Hall calls Mr. Pebble and tells him about it, and Mr. Pebble replies] Dark: Now we’ve got them! I’ve always said that cash cash cash can do anything well. Work can be rewarding When a flash of intuition is a gift that helps you excel-sell-sell-sell. [Mr. Hall directs Mrs. Barrow to their new home] Shade: Here we are in Harlow New Town, did you recognise your block across the square, over there, Sadly since last time we spoke, we’ve found we’ve had to raise the rent again, just a bit. Havoc: Oh no, this I can’t believe Oh Mary, and we agreed to leave. [Mr. Hall goes back to Styx enterprises, the two laugh, rolling in dough, as the Barrows (X-Nauts) deal with their lives. Later, everyone's TVs all switch to an important news program] News guy: This is an announcement from Genetic Control: It is my sad duty to inform you of a four foot restriction on humanoid height. [at a local pub, Joe Ordinary (Devilish) is talking to someone else] Devilish: I hear the directors of Genetic Control have been buying all the properties that have recently been sold, taking risks oh so bold. It’s said now that people will be shorter in height, they can fit twice as many in the same building site. (they say it’s alright), Beginning with the tenants of the town of Harlow, in the interest of humanity, they’ve been told they must go, told they must go-go-go-go. [John Pebble is now called Sir John de Pebble, due to his immense riches, and he tells a friend...] I think I’ve fixed a new deal A dozen properties - we’ll buy at five and sell at thirty four, Some are still inhabited, It’s time to send the winkler to see them, he’ll have to work some more. [Sir John de Pebble recieves a memo from Satin Peter of Rock Development Ltd (Metal Sonic)] MS Memo: With land in your hand, you’ll be happy on earth Then invest in the Church for your heaven! [the montage ends. I never understood the memo bit of the song, but I threw it in there anyway] [the X-Nauts had been evicted to death!] Shade: Dark... we did it! Yes! The evil X-Nauts are dead! Dark: And yet, I didn't even need the bathroom ONCE. Oh, wait... ah, nope. Don't need it. [END] ----------- And that's it for 3. We only have one more episode left, and I've barely said a thing for commentary! Okay, uh... I originally intended Metal to reveal his *true* identity in number 4, but "Neff" decided to cut the eppy short. I won't say who Metal REALLY is, because I intend for him to reveal it in a later one. Also, how is Red (Devillish) in here if he wasn't introduced until DCA 105 (Top 10 Ways to Get Rid of Dark)? I'll figure it out later. Time for "Is That Truly Metal?" Returning, Perma-Banna! This guy is completely randomly made up, and is completely hilarious. I think. Oh, and it's also the first serial episode/mission. A serial is, basically, uh... well, let's put it this way: take DCA for example. Look at Season 6's "Shade's End" series of episodes, "The MILKMAN and Friends," "Shady Infiltration," and "Surrosion." "Shade's End" is a serial. Basically, it's a collection of parts, I guess... Anyway, "Is That Truly Metal?" is part of the serial, "Father," where Dark-Hawk's father is put into place. ----------- Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 4: Father part one: Is That Truly Metal? [this story begins in the Dark Garden, Shade is lying down on the island across the pool, while Dark is eating and sleeping-- in that order] Shade: .......Devilish? You getting bored? Devilish: Yeah...... and Dark eating and sleeping sure doesn't help. [you walk in] DH: Hey guys, why the long faces? Bored? How about we STAKE OUT the Hero Garden? [Shade jumps up] Shade: Great idea! But too simple. ....I GOT IT! We'll stake out the Hero Garden! DH: Pfft... [they all do that, and in the Hero Garden, an all-out war begins] Shade: Dark-Hawk! Look out! Perma-Banna returns! PM: What can y'all do to yo mama eatin pie in da bathroom supping supper's ready in horizon's harold the barrel? Dark: .............................................. (bursts with laughter) Shade: Dark-Hawk, kill him again and be promoted. KILL HIM NOW! yahh!! *stops in front of pm and squirts him in the face with cherry scented spray(thats actually cherry scented pioson >:) )* pm:wha?!?what did you just spray me wi-*pm passes out* now for this magic spell:oloctoforce *pm turns to ash* DH:to easy... Shade: Great job! Now, you have been promoted to... WARRANT OFFICER DARK-HAWK! (pfft... Warrant Officer.... funny name, yet it's real) Shade: So, Warrant Officer... go to Bermuda and beat-- .....wrong thing, sorry. Go beat Chao! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! ...................Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! ................ Me: So many Genesis references, so little time. Still, you heard him! Beat Chao! He has a shotgun that appeared from nowhere! chao:I'm gonna shoot you DH *pulls trigger and flag that says bang pops out* chao:crap. *ZAPS chao knocking him out* *throws him in a rocket* chao: wahh! *rocket blasts off* DH; still to easy Shade: Now THAT'S what I call "overkill!" (pulls out hand) ...And this is what I call "my hand." Dark: Shade, now's not the time to act like me! Shade: Right. Dark: ...Because now's the time to sing "Supper's Ready!" Shade: Hey, wait! Dark: (singing) I know a farmer, who looks after the farm! Shade: Dark. SHUT UP! Look! The rocket's coming back down! Dark-Hawk, you gotta do something! ...Or someone ELSE, if somebody would join. shoot magic arrows at rocket ship* *chao activates shield* CHAO:NA-NEENER-NU! *magic arrows bounce off shield* *magic arrows hit a tomb stone turning it into a chocolate bar* *mummy chao come out* mc:Hey what did you do to my tomb stone...ah well *takes up chocolate and goes back in grave* DH:that was akward dark: DH!! CHAO HAS ALMOST LANDED!also, I never got to finish my song! DH: (I say its a good thing he cant finish his song) shoots more magic at chao chao tries to fire up shield**doesn't work * chao:what? DH:That last arrow shot did more than bounce off your shield and turn a tomb stone into a chocolate bar and make a make a mummy chao appear and making me have to say this really long sentence.IT BROKE YOUR SHIELD! chao:NO!!!! *arrows blast on ship and it explodes sending chao into space* chao: K.O! DH:aww... i feel less anger for my father mephil- SHADE:who?!? DH:errr...um shadow?? *goes to chao barely alive in space* *ntk appears* chao:wh-who are yu-you?*coughs* NTK: im NTK! im a friend of djay32! chao:o-oh,,h-he t-t-told me abo-about you *spits out a littlee blood and the blood flies in to space never to be seen again* NTK: I decided if you were killed there would be no more super villain errr...super hero? whatever. so im just gonna tele port you into the hero garden! chao:can you heal me? NTK:sure *snaps fingers* *chao teleports into the hro garden completely healed* chao:thank you NTK I shall remember your kind act *warphole appears* NTK'S VOICE:I forgot to tell you,tell anybody about what I did and i'll cut you half bye! *warphole disappears* chao: *gulp* I sure don't want to get on his bad side *back in the dark garden* shade:good job DH! dark: now i can sing my song!I know a farmer,who looked after a farm shade and DH:run away bad singer on the loose!*both run away* dark:do I really sing that bad? OH,well I know a.......... )END( ------------ Sadly, this completes the Volume. I just want to say, I had a great time working with Neff, and we had lots of laughs. ...I think. This was my first Forum RPG, so I didn't know what to do. So, I made it into a spin-off! DCRPG... yeah, it'll go a long way. I just know it. Also, at the last minute, I managed to contact Neff for his comments on these 4 eppies. DJ: So far, which Chao is your favorite? ...Aside from DH? NF: shade. DJ: So far, what's your favorite Episode of DCA? NF: episode 5:is that truly metal? {I guess he thought I meant "DCRPG"} DJ: SHOULD Dark get out of his Genesis phase? NF: heck yeah!! DJ: What story would you like to see happen? Please say two things-- one story for DCA, one for DCRPG. NF: 1 I would like to see Chao fall off a cliff {forgot about that. Should put that in a new DCA.} 2 I would like DH's mortal enemy,his twin appear...LH!!!!(light hawk!!!!) -white chao -all pheniox parts with bear claws -he always carries his spellbook around since he is not very good at memorizing spells DJ: Any other comments on the series? NF: NO. Well, that's it for this volume.