Dark Chao Role-Playing Game
Volume 2: The Glory Days


Hello, I'm DJay32. This is DCRPG Volume 2, REFURBISHED edition. In these, I give MORE commentary than the originals, which don't really exist anymore. I also correct some (nowhere near all) spelling errors n' stuff.


Volume 2 contains Missions 5-8, which I think were the best ones, JUST because the Dark Army was filled with interesting characters during that time.
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Hey, and welcome to the wicked wild! ...Just kidding. This is the Dark Chao Role-Playing Game's continuation. Uh....... I mean PART TWO.

DCRPG Volume 2
*note: Not all of this was made by me. Most of it was, though. PaperMasterEX, who I like to call "Neff," contributed, as well as Multichao, Black Pheonix, flamesonicchao, mLe, and meganights. ..and slightly those other guys.

This "DVD" contains Games 5-8, as well as the really big Pre-Six thing! And, on this "disc," I shall announce something very tragic. Not 'till later, though. Also, in number 6, lots of people join the game! So, expect that. For now, let's begin Episode 5!


Before we do, I have some info. Neferious (man of many names) started this Mission early by abruptly ending number four. And, also, this mission only took two posts to complete. Dark stops singing Genesis, and he does it with a bang, as the Lamb... Lies Down.... on Broadway.

Also, "What's DH's Father" is a part of the "Father" serial, focusing on Dark-Hawk's father.
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Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 5: Father part two: What's DH's Father?
(note:this idea was given to me from the last eppy)
[DH walks by shade]
shade:hey DH,in the last episode why were you about to pronounce your dads name and suddenly stopped?
DH:uhhh..err...I didn't?besides I said my dads name was shadow
random shadow chao:no,shadow is my dad!
DH:errr...right
shade:well who is your real father?
DH:you can't make me tell
shade:i'll rase your rank
DH:nope.
shade:i'll lower your rank!
DH:nyne.
shade:ummm...we'll go to island world?
DH:what is that
shade:riigghhhttt...
shade:tell me now!
DH:no
shade:yes
DH:no
shade:yes
[5 hours later]
DH:no
shade:yes
DH:fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gosh this has gone on long enough! my father is-
[mephiles appears]
meph:DARK HAWK I have come for you!
DH:noooo!! leave me alone!!
meph:BWHAHAHA!
(snatches up DH and teleports outta there)
[dark comes up]
dark:I saw the whole thing
why do you think mephiles took DH?
shade:I don't know but you,me,and devilish are gonna find out
devilish:why do I have to go?
shade: because your substituting for Dark Hawk!
devilish:riiiigghhhttt....
[the chao go to the STR, and see Mephiles beating up you]
MP: And don't you DARE report me for child abuse!
Shade: Stop right there, Mephy!
MP: Wha?
DH: Guys, uh... this isn't what it looks like.
Shade: Why? What does it look like?
DH: ...never mind.
DH: uhh....uhhh...UUHHHH....SPELL: SHINIMOKISO (shin-nim-mock-kiso
[time freezes]
DH: I don't know what to do!Help my father and go against my friends or save my friends and go against my father!?! oh...I don't know what to do!
[ntk appears]
DH: oh hi,foster dad.
ntk: Ive got something to tell you
[shows DH birth certificate]
DH: what?
ntk: its your main birth certificate. as long as I have this I'm your real father.
DH: really?
ntk: yes.
DH: promise?
ntk: *shrugs*sure.promise.
DH: pinky prom--
ntk: yes! yes!
DH: oh sorry.
ntk: its OK and your welcome.
[ntk disappears]
DH:ahh....OSIKOMINISH (osickomen-nesh)
[time starts]
dh:now...attacks mephiles by tackling him
*both get flinged get towards the wall*
shade: we gotta save DH!!
dark: right )starts singing(
dark:<what is love!? baby don't hurt me...no more>
[meph is about to punch DH]
meph: augh!!!! to... much...music...
[DH runs away from meph]
shade: hey DH are you OK?
DH:yeah.I think so.
dark:<what is...> ummm... <love baby....>uhh. guys! I can't remember the song!!
DH:we better get outta here!!
devilish: hurry! toward the gate!!
[they all run to the gate]
)gate closes before they can get out(
M:(still holding the switch that opens and closes the door)ha ha-ha!!what are you gonna do now son!!?!?!


[Dark looks at Shade, who nods]
[Dark turns and looks at Dark-Hawk, who looks at the ground for a moment, then nods]
Dark: Okay. I will be singing the one song I've wanted to sing for a while!
[Dark whispers something into Shade's ear, and Shade's pupils shrink]
Shade: No, no, no... I think you have a better chance singing.... uh.... what we issued for plan LLDOB.
Dark: Really?
Shade: Really.
Dark: Okey-dokey, guys...... we'll have to work hard for this... just to stay alive!
Devilish: I'm ready when you are.
Dark: Dark-Hawk, can you operate lights ridiculously well?
DH: Yeah, I learned how when hot chao captured me and forced pinapples down my throat.
[the others stare at him]
DH: ...I was kidding.
Dark: Okay. Lemme grab my guitar.....
[Dark grabs his guitar, Devilish drags out a huge multi-purpose piano, and Shade pulls out some drums that he convieniently just learned how to play]
Dark: Guys.... the Lamb song in G minor! A 1, 2, 3, GO!

(Note: Dark's last Genesis song)
(2nd note: In case you didn't realize, they're singing since Mephiles couldn't stand the sound of music)
[Devilish plays a classical piano tune for a minute, then the drums kick in]
All3: And the laaaaaaaaamb..... lies dowwwwwn.... on BROAAAADWAY!
[Dark starts playing simple rock]
Dark: Early morning Manhattan, 
Ocean winds blow on the land. 
The Movie-Palace is now undone, 
The all-night watchmen have had their fun. 
Sleeping cheaply on the midnight show, 
It's the same old ending-time to go. 
Get out! 
It seems they cannot leave their dream. 
There's something moving in the sidewalk steam,
All3: And the laaaaaaaaamb..... lies dowwwwwn.... on BROAAAADWAY!
Dark: Nightime's flyers feel their pains. 
Drugstore takes down the chains. 
Metal motion comes in bursts, 
But the gas station can quench that thirst. 
Suspension cracked on unmade road 
The trucker's eyes read 'Overload' 
And out on the subway, 
Devilish: (robotically)Rael Imperial Aerosol Kid,
Dark: Exits into daylight, spraygun hid,
All3: And the laaaaaaaaamb..... lies dowwwwwn.... on BROAAAADWAY!
[Devilish plays classic piano again, as the guitar stops]
Shade: The lamb seems right out of place, 
Yet the Broadway street sceng finds a focus in its face. 
Somehow it's lying there, 
Brings a stillness to the air. 
Though man-made light, at night is very bright, 
There's no whitewash victim, 
As the neons dim, to the coat of white.
Devilish: (you know how) Rael Imperial Aerosol Kid, 
Dark: Wipes his gun-he's forgotten what he did, 
All3: And the laaaaaaaaamb..... lies dowwwwwn.... on BROAAAADWAY!
[Dark plays the guitar again]
Dark: Suzanne, tired, her work all done, 
Thinks- money-honey-be on-neon. 
Cabman's velvet glove sounds the horn 
And the sawdust king spits out his scorn. 
Wonder women draw your blind! 
Don't look at me! I'm not your kind. 
I'm Rael!!!!! 
Something inside me has just begun, 
Lord knows what I have done, 
All3: And the laaaaaaaaamb..... lies dowwwwwn.... on BROAAAADWAY!
[multi-layered part: all happens at same time
All 3: On Broadway (over and over)
DH: They say the lights are always bright on Broadway. 
They say there's always magic in the air.]
[the song quickly turns into an acoustic, almost sad song]
Devilish: (not robotic) There's something solid forming in the air, 
The wall of death is lowered in Times Square. 
No-one seems to care, 
They carry on as if nothing was there. 
The wind is blowing harder now, 
Blowing dust into my eyes. 
The dust settles on my skin, 
Making a crust I cannot move in 
And I'm hovering like a fly, waiting for the windshield on the freeway.
[quickly, the drums come in, and Dark plays guitar a little more fiercely during the solo]
[at the end of the solo, they turn into some sort of show-tune-ish beat]
Shade: Echoes of the Broadway Everglades, 
With her mythical madonnas still walking in their shades:
Lenny Bruce, declares a truce and plays his other hand. 
Marshall McLuhan, casual viewin', head buried in the sand. 
Sirens on the rooftops wailing, but there's no ship sailing. 
Groucho, with his movies trailing, stands alone with his punchline failing. 
Klu Klux Klan serve hot soul food and the band plays 'In the Mood' 
The cheerleader waves her cyanide wand, there's a smell of 
peach blossom and bitter almonde. 
Caryl Chessman sniffs the air and leads the parade, he know in a scent, 
you can bottle all you made. 
There's Howard Hughes in blue suede shoes, smiling at the majorettes 
smoking Winston Cigarettes. 
And as the song and dance begins, the children play at home 
with needles; needles and pins.
[the song turns to a simple acoustic in a tiny solo, and then Dark plays his acoustic through Devilish's CPU stuff to make it sound a little "underwater"-ish]
DH: Wrapped up in some powdered wool-I guess I'm losing touch. 
Don't tell me I'm dying, 'cos I ain't changed that much. 
The only sound is water drops, I wonder where the hell I am, 
Some kind of jam? 
Cuckoo-Cocoon have I come to, too soon for you? 

There's nothing I can recognise; this is nowhere that I've known. 
With no sign of life at all, I guess that I'm alone, 
And I feel so secure that I know this can't be real but I feel good. 
Cuckoo-cocoon have I come to, too soon for you?
[flute solo]

I wonder if I'm a prisoner locked up in some Brooklyn jail 
-or some sort of Jonah shut up inside the whale. 
No-I'm still Rael and I'm stuck in some kind of cave, 
what could've saved me? 
Cuckoo-cocoon have I come to, too soon for you?
[another flute solo, followed by a small, low beat]
Shade: There's sunshine in my stomach 
Like I just rocked my baby to sleep. 
There's sunshine in my stomach 
And I can't keep me from creeping sleep, 
Sleep, deep in the deep. 
[the beat becomes faster, as Devilish plays a synthesizer melody to go with it]
Dark: Rockface moves to press my skin 
White liquids turn sour within 
Turn fast-turn sour 
Turn sweat-turn sour. 
Must tell myself that I'm not here. 
I'm drowning in a liquid fear. 
Bottled in a strong compression, 
My distortion shows obsession 
In the caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave. 
Get me out of this caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave! 
[the melody changes to be more up-beat]
If I keep my self-control, 
I'll be safe in my soul. 
And the childhood belief 
Brings a moment's relief, 
But my cynic soon returns
And the lifeboat burns. 
My spirit just never learns. 
[the melody returns]
Stalactites, stalagmites 
Shut me in, lock me tight. 
Lips are dry, throat is dry. 
Feel like burning, stomach churning, 
I'm dressed up in a white costume 
Padding out leftover room. 
Body stretching, feel the wretching 
In the caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage. 
Get me out of this caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage! 
[the melody becomes up-beat]
In the glare of a light, 
I see a strange kind of sight; 
Of cages joined to form a star 
Each person can't go very far; 
All tied to their things 
They are netted by their strings, 
Free to flutter in memories of their wasted wings. 
[large synthesizer solo, then Dark plays 4 heavy guitar notes, over and over and over]
Outside the cage I see my Brother John, 
He turns his head so slowly round. 
I cry out help! before he can be gone, 
And he looks at me without a sound. 
[the melody slightly ups]
And I shout 'John please help me!' 
But he does not even want to try to speak. 
I'm helpless in my violent rage 
And a silent tear of blood dribbles down his cheek, 
And I watch him turn away and leave the cage. 
My little runawaaaaaay! 
[little synthesizer solo, which goes back to the normal melody]
In a trap, feel a strap 
Holding still. Pinned for kill. 
Chances narrow that I'll make it, 
In the cushioned straight-jacket. 
Just like 22nd Street, 
When they got me by my neck and feet. 
Pressures building, can't take any more. 
My headaches charge. My earaches roar. 
In the paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. 
Get me out of this paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin! 
[melody up-beat]
If I could change to liquid, 
I could fill the cracks up in the rock. 
But I know that I am solid 
And I am my own bad luck. 
But outside John disappears and my cage dissolves, 
and without any reason my body revolves. 
[melody finishes as all 3 chant:]
Keep on turning, 
Keep on turning, 
Turning around, 
spinning around.
[they stop chanting, and Devilish plays a quick piano solo, then he gives them a steady funk beat]
DH: "The last great adventure left to mankind" 
-Screams a drooping lady 
offering her dreamdolls at less than extortionate prices, 
and as the notes and coins are taken out 
I'm taken in, to the factory floor. 

For the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-All ready to use 
the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-just need a fuse. 

Got people stocked in every shade, 
Must be doing well with trade. 
Stamped, addressed, in odd fatality. 
That evens out their personality. 
With profit potential marked by a sign, 
I can recognise some of the production line, 
No bite at all in labour bondage, 
Just wrinkled wrappers or human bandage. 

The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-All ready to use 
It's the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-just need a fuse. 

The hall runs like clockwork 
Their hands mark out the time, 
Empty in their fullness 
Like a frozen pantomime. 
Everyone's a sales representative 
Wearing slogans in their shrine. 
Dishing out failsafe superlative, 
Brothere John is No. 9. 

For the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-All ready to use 
It's the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-just need a fuse. 

The decor on the ceiling 
has planned out their future day 
I see no sign of free will, 
so I guess I'll have to pay, 
pay my way, 
for the Grand Parade. 
for the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-All ready to use 
the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging 
-just need a fuse.
[they quiet down as Devilish plays another steady beat]
Devilish: I see faces and traces of home.... BACK IN NEW YORK CITY!
[Devilish plays a heavy techno beat]
Devilish: So you think I'm a tough kid? Is that what you heard? 
Well I like to see some action and it gets into my blood. 
The call me the trail blazer-Rael-electric razor. 
I'm the pitcher in the chain gang, we don't believe in pain 
'cos we're only as strong, as the weakesst link in the chain. 
Let me out of Pontiac when I was just seventeen, 
I had to get it out of me, if you know what I mean, what I mean. 

You say I must be crazy, 'cos I don't care who I hit, who I hit!
But I know it's me that's hitting out and I'm not full of (loud piano note). 
I don't care who I hurt, I don't care who I do wrong. 
This is your mess I'm stuck in, I really don't belong. 
When I take out my bottle, filled up high with gasoline, 
You can tell by the night fires where Rael has been, has been. 

As I cuddled the porcupine 
He said I had none to blame, but me. 
Held my heart, deep in hair, 
Time to shave, shave it off, it off. 
No time for romantic escape, 
When your fluffy heart is ready for (loud piano note). No! 
Off we go. 


You're sitting in your comfort you don't believe I'm real, 
You cannot buy protection from the way that I feel. 
Your progressive hypocrites hand out their trash, 
But it was mine in the first place, so I'll burn it to ash. 
And I've tasted all the strongest meats, 
And laid them down in coloured sheets. 
Who needs illusion of love and affection 
When you're out walking the streets with your mainline connection? connection. 

As I cuddle the porcupine 
He said I had none to blame, but me. 
Held my heart, deep in hair. 
Time to shave, shave it off, it off. 
No time for romantic escape, 
When your fluffy heart is ready for (loud piano note). No!
[they play one short acoustic and soft piano solo, then change to a more peppy beat]
Dark: I'm counting out time, 
Got the whole thing down by numbers. 
All those numbers! 
Give my guidance! 
O Lord I need that now. 

The day of judgement's come, 
And you can bet that I've been resting, 
for this testing, 
Digesting every word the experts say. 
Erogenous zones I love you. 
Without you, what would a poor boy do?

Found a girl I wanted to date, 
Thought I'd better get it straight. 
Went to buy a book before it's too late. 
Don't leave nothing to fate. 
And I have studied every line, every page in the book, 
And now I've got the real thing here, I'm gonna take a look, take a look. 

This is Rael! 

I'm counting out time, hoping it goes like I planned it, 
'cos I understand it. Look! I've found the hotspots, Figs 1-9. 
-still counting out time, got my finger on the button, 
"Don't say nuttin-just lie there still 
And I'll get you turned on just fine." 
Erongenous zones I love you. 
Without you, what would a poor boy do? 

Touch and go with 1-6. 
Bit of trouble in zone No. 7. 
Gotta remember all of my tricks. 
There's heaven ahead in No. 11! 
Getting crucial responses with dialation of the pupils. 
"Honey get hip! It's time to unzip, to unzip. Whipee!" 
-Move over Casanova- 

I'm counting out time, reaction none to happy, 
Please don't slap me, 
I'm a red blooded male and the book said I could not fail. 
I'm counting out time, I got unexpected distress from my mistress, 
I'll get my money back from the bookstore right away. 
Erongenous zones I question you- 
Without you, what would a poor boy do? 
Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues.
[then, everything goes quiet as Devilish gives Dark-Hawk a quiet, peaceful melody]
DH: (gospel-y) There is lambswool under my naked feet. 
The wool is soft and warm, 
-gives off some kind of heat. 
A salamander scurries into flame to be destroyed. 
Imaginary creatures are trapped in birth on celluloid. 
The fleas cling to the golden fleece, 
Hoping they'll find peace. 
Each thought and gesture are caught in celluloid. 
There's no hiding in my memory. 
There's no room to void. 

The crawlers cover the floor in the red ochre corridor. 
For my second sight of people, they've more lifeblood than before. 
They're moving. They're moving in time to a heavy wooden door, 
Where the needle's eye is winking, closing in on the poor. 
The carpet crawlers heed their callers: 
"We've got to get in to get out 
We've got to get in to get out." 

There's only one direction in the faces that I see; 
It's upward to the ceiling, where the chambers said to be. 
Like the forest fight for sunlight, that takes root in every tree. 
They are pulled up by the magnet, believing that they're free. 
The carpet crawlers heed their callers: 
"We've got to get in to get out 
We've got to get in to get out." 

Mild mannered supermen are held in kryptonite, 
And the wise and foolish virgins giggle with their bodies glowing bright. 
Through a door a harvest feast is lit by candlight; 
It's the bottom of a staircase that spirals out of sight. 
The carpet crawlers heed their callers: 
"We've got to get in to get out 
We've got to get in to get out." 

The porcelain mannikin with shattered skin fears attack. 
The eager pack lift up their pitchers- the carry all they lack. 
The liquid has congealed, which has seeped out through the crack, 
And the tickler takes his stickleback. 
The carpet crawlers heed their callers: 
"We've got to get in to get out 
We've got to get in to get out."
[Devilish gives another soft, steady beat, this time to Shade]
Shade: At the top of the stairs, their's hundreds of people, 
running around to all the doors. 
They try to find themselves an audience; 
their deductions need applause. 

The rich man stands in front of me, 
The poor man behind my back. 
They believe they can control the game, 
but the juggler holds another pack. 

I need someone to believe in, someone to trust. 
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust. 

I'd rather trust a countryman than a townman, 
You can judge by his eyes, take a look if you can,
He'll smile through his guard, 
Survival trains hard. 
I'd rather trust a man who works with his hands, 
He looks at you once, you know he understands, 
Don't need any shield, 
When you're out in the field. 

But down here, 
I'm so alone with my fear, 
With everything that I hear. 
And every single door, that I've walked through 
Brings me back here again, 
I've got to find my own way. 

The priest and the magician, 
Singing all the chants that they have ever heard; 
They're all calling out my name, 
Even academics, searching printed word. 

My father to the left of me, 
My mother to the right, 
Like everyone else they'er pointing 
But nowhere feels quite right. 

And I need someone to believe in, someone to trust. 
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust. 

I'd rather trust a man who doesn't shout what he's found, 
There's no need to sell if you're homeward bound. 
If I chose a side, 
He won't take me for a ride. 

Back inside 
This chamber of so many doors; 
I've nowhere to hide. 
I'd give you all of my dreams, if you'd help me, 
Find a door 
That doesn't lead me back again 
-take me away.
[THE END of the song]


MP: Unbelievable! You played enough... to paralyze me. But, I will unlock the gate.
[Mephiles unlocks the gate, and the chao cheer and rush out]
Shade: Dark, no more Genesis, okay?
Dark: But... what about the second half of the song we just sung? We only played the first half!
Devilish: Isn't that the part with the ear-shattering solo that is made up of LITERALLY breaking glass, which can drive someone insane?
[Dark looks speechless]
Dark: Uh.... no more Genesis, right.
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Unbelievable! Dark... STOPPING GENESIS SINGING SONG... uh... wait, what? I mean, Dark not singing Genesis anymore? Wow. I hope this makes you believe that nothing, and I mean NOTHING in this series, or the actual series, lasts forever. Before we start number incredibly-big six, here's some Intermission craziness:

Phantom: Oooh, a sign-up sheet for a dark chao army! Lemme sign up!

Name: Phantom
Alliance/Attribute: Dark legless Stamina Blitz Chao (You know what a Blitz Chao is, right?)
Special Talents: I've got some really cool special moves. 

Hey DJay! It's me, 

I want to be Quartz: White neutural fly swim. S rank in fly. No mouth,Know most things taught in kindergarten, a's in all other stats. 
Special: is very friendly exept to heroes,should have evolved dark but i messed up,has had every animal enough to know all the little skills (exept for skunk farts), wants to be a flight general. is willing to beat up any heroes exept for newborns.(one exeption is newborns like tail who are evil geniuses or any non-dark chao that have been Action Replayed.

Hmm..... Multichao's in, Black Pheonix (hey, how are ya?) he can come in.... on CERTAIN conditions. Normally, if he was a Dark chao, I'd rip his powers away. ALL of them. If he was Hero, I'd send him to the Heroes, but first rip his powers away. But, since he's a Neutral.... Neutrals are hard to "hack" into (to rip powers away, I'm making this stuff up, okay?) so I will do something for you. I will put YOU into the story for an Episode, and you will be turned into a BABY chao (like you wanted to, with the experiment and Poker Game), where you must learn EVERYTHING all over again. This way, you can become a Dark chao....

HOWEVER, if you choose for Quartz to enter NOW, he will be adult Neutral with a moderate education and A in Fly, B in everything else. I will even give you all your animals back, and all that. About the "beating up" part.... allow me to read something from the OFFICIAL Dark Chao Adventures Handbook, which I will PM to all the members when I make it.

*Handbook rip not included due to advertizing reasons. What I mean is, I'm not putting it in this because I want you to buy the thing!*

Phantom: I have a question. You said that Stamina Chao step normally. But Phantom is legless. So would that mean that he makes no sound when moving, or would he make some weird, creepy sound? 

Quartz: i think he should make a small swish as he flies

Maybe, but then he'd be less stealthy.

nah the swish would be like his footstep 

i want to play poker with metal alone

i will beat him and i would like shade to join this game

Black Pheonix, I know you're a guest and are new here and all, but... no double posting, please. UNLESS in dire emergencies!

Anyway... legless Chao are the STEALTHIEST! However, when they "run," they make the sound of wind whooshing past them. It's got something to do with geometry n' stuff, and I gotta give them a bad part.

M: Okay, puny Sunglasses-wearing chao! I accept your challenge. If you lose, I'll take you over to the back room over there and, uh.... "do some in."
Q: You're gonna pee on me!?
M: NO! That means BEAT YOU UP! Just for that, WHEN I lose, I'll break your arms.



"The Government is Watching Us!" I remember this one. It introduces the recurring enemy, the GOVERNMENT. In DCA, they haven't really showed up much. ....YET.
---------
[Shade puts up sign in the Neutral Garden that says "Help Wanted"]

Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 6: The Government Is Watching Us!
[with special guest appearance of G-Man!]

[the story begins in the Neutral Garden, some Neutral chao are coming up to the sign]
(don't forget, this took place BEFORE the series, so you'll find out what happened to all the Neutrals)
[one green Neutral baby is reading the sign]
GNB: "Hewp Wanted. If you can hewp, pwease come to da Dahk Gahden." Uh... sure!
[the Green Baby comes to the Dark Garden]
Shade: So... (looks at card) "Shadow...." are you ready for the PAIN and TORTURE of the Dark Army? 'Cause if you are, I can start you off in the DOTHC.
Sh: ?
Shade: Whaddya mean you don't know what the "DOTHC" is? Don't you know about the "NOTHC?"
Sh: .......no.
allothers(evenyou): No, no.
Shade: (gasp) Then, we gotta send all you guys there, PRONTO! Dark, come on. You went to the DOTHC, didn't you?
Dark: As true as the pudding, General Shade, sir!
Shade: Ahhh..... "General" Shade. I like that. Well, come on, all you SCALLY-WAGS, we gotta send you to the DOTDC!
[Shade and Dark get everyone on big buses, and then Shade gets on one, and Dark the other]
[the buses leave]
Ph: General Shade, sir... where IS the DOTHC?
Shade: It is deep in the big mountains that are behind the Dark Garden. Don't worry, though... it'll only hurt.
Ph: ......a little?
Shade: NO, it's gonna hurt!
[on the other bus]
DH: Brigadier Dark, sir... I didn't know there were THREE buses. Who's on that other one?
Dark: WHAT? There are only two...
[Dark looks out the window and sees another bus with no driver, no driver AT ALL. The only person on it is an old-ish man in a blue government suit, and he is standing around the middle of the bus. He looks out the window to Dark]
Dark: ...whoa. Uh.... let's....not....look....out the window anymore.
[after a few hours, they arrive at the DOTHC]
[they step out the buses]
Dark: Hey, where's that Tie-Wearing Guy?
Shade: What?
Dark: Uh.... nothing.
Shade: Okay, all you-- AH, DARK-HAWK! Where were you? I didn't see you in the Garden, nor on the buses!
DH: I was in Dark's bus, sir.
Shade: Well, Warrant-Officer... since the battle against Mephola I haven't seen you. I wanted to PROMOTE you! You are now...


LIEUTENANT Dark-Hawk!
As Lieutenant, you can...


- (Only for ANY KIND Lieutenant/Captain/Flight Lieutenant or higher) Access the Stardust Eggman, DURING missions, and exit it to missions ANY time! (lower ranks can only enter between missions, and exit between)

Since I, Shade, am the highest rank, I can do that any day. Excuse me as I believe it's MY turn in Poker.


Thought of your cards yet, Quartz? Remember: You think up 5 (no 5 Aces or anything like that), and I think up your other two.

Your other 2 cards are: 5 Jack

I'm not telling you MY cards since... I'm me!

Here's a hint to Metal's: 7 King

MS: So, boys... double or nothing? I'm thinking that simply killing you mortals is not enough. I think absolutely DESTROYING you should be great!
Shade: We're not--uh... well, I'M not gonna lose. HE might, but not ME.

Quartz, as soon as you say your other 5 cards, I'll say my 7 and Metal's other 5 (completely random).

Also, Quartz, remember... YOU CANNOT LEAVE THE STARDUST EGGMAN UNTIL THE MISSION IS OVER. You are not ranked high enough. Your rank (as well as Phantom's) is Seaman/Aircraftman/Private.

Oh, I almost forgot-- Quartz and Phantom... choose NOW.

The Navy Shadows where you start off as a Seaman,
The Shady Shooters where you start off as a Private,
The Darkish Commonwealth where you start off as an Aircraftman.

Quartz, since you are swimming AND flying, but mostly flying, it is recommended you join the Darkish Commonwealth. Those guys have air battles! But, you are free to choose whatever you wish.

[Quartz triple-posts]

Triple posting TWICE.... uh... sorry, that means I'm gonna have to... DELETE YO CHANCE AT WINNING!

Metal: Ace Ace King King 2 7 King

Shade: 8 9 Ace 2 2 8 Ace



U LOZE, SUCKA!
[Metal picks you up, carries you over to the back alley outside the building, and your screams are heard going on for an hour]
[Metal exits, covered in BLOOD]
MS: So, Shade... you're the last victim. You won a round, huh? FINAL ROUND!

This time, Quartz can BET on who'll win! Bet all you want.

(i come back in fine with a hot dog) Thanks for opening that ketchup but it got everywhere when you hit it that hard.
MS:no prob no go to that closet so i can use you as a lab rat. 

Yeah, stupid joke, here's what happens next:
[then the REAL Quartz comes out of the alley, crawling, and his legs are gone]
Q: (coughing up blood) Help me...
Shade: Whoa. This has more blood than Kirby 64's final boss!

Okay, I know that you are a Air-guy, what about YOU, Phantom? What are you? 

hold on let me kill that clone.
oh and metal thanks for the bat 

[the TRUE Quartz, which there are no clones of, and is not a clone or ANYTHING, is INDEED the TRUEEST OF ALL QUARTZ is heard still screaming for help]
Q: (shudder) Huh-huh-help.... Metal hurts. And I am the REAL Quartz, I am not any sort of clone. 

Q:ow why'd ya have ta hit me with a metal bat in my weak point!


hey DJay Im a friend of Black Phoenix(his Neighbor You know name starts with da) i want to be flame a dark swim/swim red chao with all cheetah parts.
stats: levels:
swim: 24
run: 35
power: 59
fly: 22
stamina: 15
I want to be a darkish commonwealth
(if i have to choose between option 1 or 2 i want 2)
(i know black phoenix got these) 

Okay, welcome aboard, Flame!

Uh-huh... so... you have pretty bad flying, yet you wanna join the Areal Battlers? Okay, but I think you'd be better off in the Navy. You're here in the DOTHC, as well. REMEMBER-- as soon as Multichao says which of the three he wants to be in, we can move on with the story. 

Sorry I took so so long. I'll be with the Shady Shooters. 

Okay... where were we? Oh, yeah.

Shade: Lieutenant... you don't have to train. Instead, you can come with me and Dark and watch the others! It's funny.
[Shade, Dark, and Dark-Hawk walk into a secluded room]
Shade: (on PA) Okay, all you maggots! Proceed into the next room! The DOTHC is the Dark Obstacle Training Hazard Course, or, simply put... YOUR TRAINING! In this room, you must all come up with your own different tactic on crossing this 90-feet deep X 90-feet wide POND! After you each come up with your own, you must come up with one more based on what team you joined! The Navy must use Swimming attributes, the Commonwealth has to take advantage of flight, and the Shooters must use the resources around them to cross! Oh, actually, you all have to take advantage of resources, but each team has different resources!

Navy (none), your resources are: a giant metal board, a set of scuba gear, and some grenades.

Shooters (2 [if Dark-Hawk wants to train]), your resources are: a huge wooden plank, a big tree, a log cabin, and some talcum powder. Oh, and a piece of string.

Commonwealth (2), your resources are: some feathers, a ceiling fan, a rope, and a coca-cola can shaped like George Washington's foot.

Shade: Good luck! 

Phantom: This is easy. [Phantom gets on the wooden plank and uses his arms to paddle across.] I'm crossing the pond, my wooden plank and me... 

Shade: Very nice, I always knew you'd make it first, Phantom! Now we just need to wait for Flame and Quartz. Here, "Phan," why don't you join us as we watch the others' futile attempts at making it across? Go ahead, laugh! This is Boot Camp, you are allowed to laugh at others' misfortune!
[Shadow (chao) runs into the metal board, and stumbles around, then falls into the pond]
[the 4 at the end laugh hard]
Shade: I tell you, Phantom... keep this up and I'll promote you to Warrant Officer by the time you maggots are finished with DOTHC! Oh, by the way... anyone who wants to learn what all the ranks are--

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_%28rank%29

That table to the side tells you. The "Navy" column is... self-explanatory, Land/Air is Shady Shooters, and Commonwealth is ALSO self-explanatory. Remember: as of now, I (Shade) am General (Shady Shooters), Dark is Brigadier, Devilish is Colonel, Dark-Hawk is Lieutenant, and all others are at the bottom of their respective force. But, like I said, "Phan," keep up the great work and you'll be Warrant Officer very quickly!


So... all you other maggots... GET TO WORK! 

Phan: Haahahahahaha! [Watches everyone's pathetic attempts to cross the pond with Shade.] You're right, Shade! Watching everyone fail is fun! [Dark blows himself into the air with a grenade.] 

oh come on !

!. tie the rope through the pop tab on the can
2. use the new rope to grapple onto the fan and use it to swing in circles
3. use your momentum to launch you across the pool and fly gently down to the ground.

Shade: Excellent, Aircraftman Phoenix! Now, we must wait for Flame.

He has heart problems and is in the infermary. He will only be able to do missions on and off. 

Shade: Oh, yes... very sad. The doctors and the Doctor said they did all they could do. ....Yes, I KNOW it's as crazy as that 6-year old getting her butt stuck in a pool drain and having her small intestines sucked out through her butt, then actually surviving and saying she wants to be on the news. But, it happened. How? He.... he used to be a famous rock star. Hence... "Flame." A fan of his saw that he was coming here, so the fan called all the other fans over here. These fans are very fat, and are pro sumo-wrestlers. They were about to dive on him, when he tried to fly into the ceiling fan.

Phantom: That's how that girl's intestines got sucked out of her? All I was told was they were sucked out of her. No mention of them coming out of her butt. I think I might barf. [holds stomach and puts hand over his mouth.] So, Shade, are we going wait for Flame, or just move on?

I think we should move on without him. his therapy only allows him to do missions when he can lift his upper torso.(rarely seening as his heart is there unlike ants wich are in their butts)

Other person: im here for this one
first one ill::
1. ok ill hit dark in the presure point to knock him out and lay him in the water
2.use him as a raft to float across
3.at the other end ill shove him to the start

for my flying type::
1.use the leftover rope to tie the feathers to my arms
2.jump toward the fan and use it with its stronger current(because of the rope) to glide to the other end 

ANOTHER person: I'm Black's Sis
I want to be a hero chao (please dont hurt me)
lvls.
Swim: B
Fly: A
Power: C
Run: A
Stamina:B
A pink hero run,run chao With all Bunny Parts(arms,legs,tail,ears)
Knows how to do all dances and tambourine.
sooo what are the hero groups????????????? 

Wow. Getting tons of people here, huh? Yep, I'm back from the faraway fairy-tale land called England. ...Until Saturday, when I'm going to Disney Land! I'm not doing a "hello," because I'm only here for a few days.

ANYWAY.... no time to read most of these posts, so I'll just say the next training mission.


1 Giant Robot. 9 Tiny Robots. 1 can of soda pop. What do you do to destroy the enemies? 

 Your Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Dude this is easy you:
1.Shake up the bottle of soda
2.Spray it on the robots
If any are left not short circuted:
1.Drink all leftover soda
2.Use the sugar rush to immitate sonic with a homing attack 

*quite a while later*

Uh.... normally, I'd say "wait for the others," but since I was AFK for so -dang- long, I'll move on. EVERYONE GETS A FREEBIE!

Shade: Speaking of "freebies," come to Shady Cross Paths THIS WEEK (I extended it) for FREE, ABSOLUTELY FREE stuff! ONLY THIS WEEK, until Monday!

ANYWAY... we move on to the FINAL mission, a Co-op mission. At first, though... it starts simple. Then, it gets intense!

[everyone enters the next room, which is pitch black]
[Shade flips a light switch, and a lone light over a robot tied to a chair turns on]
Robot: You'll never get a crack outta me!
Shade: Your mission... is to find out where the exit is. ONLY THIS ROBOT KNOWS! I have given EACH OF YOU something different, okay?

Black Pheonix: feather

Multichao: keyboard

anyone else: Copy of Half-Life 2


Shade: Work with your item, and feel free to ask each other to do something! I will be waiting for the mission to end... 

Qaurtz:(tickles robot) tell me what you know 
R:Its on the floor!
Q:Liar! Multichao, Please get his memory back!(that means hit him with the key board)

::::::::::::No matter what i took my sisters half life 2 game:::::::::::::::

DH: Im back from my vacation! sorry I didn't tell you about it but after that father episode I needed A break! and BTW, NTK (AKA Papermaster EX) says he's to lazy to read the last pages so he's is asking for a recap of whats happening. 

Okey-dokey. Uh... lessee... after the Father one...

The others joined and we talked about THIS...

*rip from Handbook*

And then Shade sent the guys to Boot Camp, but since you're a higher-ranking officer, you get to kick back and watch! You can also lend help if you want. Everything on the second half of this page is what you need to know. 

S.Bonic:Can I still Join?
I'm the all mighty chaos chao who wants training from you shade, is that okay

A CHAOS chao? Hmm.... tell me his stats, and his type. If he's Hero, he's out. 

Phantom: Roger, Quartz! *Gets keyboard and bangs the robot on the head repeatedly.* Now tell mah where teh exit is!

R: Ugh.... the exit's on... the ceiling. You'll need a flyer to get up there.
[one flyer takes everyone up there, and the "door" closes]
One of you guys: What?
[billions of robots ambush you] 

Ok lets go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quartz: ill use this (Holds up feather)
P:WHHATT!
Q:Eat this (uses wind from his wings to shoot the featherforward with amazing speed jamming it through half the robots before it snaps.
Q:Now, Phantom< kill the rest with your key board!

*S. Bonic says his stats*

All S, huh?

In order to be allowed into the Dark Army, I'm afraid they'll have to be toned down to A. YOU CAN WORK IT BACK UP TO S, remember that. You level a QUARTER of a level every time you go up a rank.

I'm afraid there's no Neutral army because of a peace treaty one year many centuries ago.

Oh, and... ONE stat can remain S. Choose wisely!



Still, I am honored to have a Chaos Chao in the army... welcome. Just don't use all your powers at once, okay? You'll make me jealous!

Oh, and... Luck DOES matter. ...in Poker Games, anyway. The higher your luck, the better chance to get better cards! 

Well, in his non Chaos form, he was a Shadow Chao, all evolutions so...

Swim:A
Fly:A
Run:S
Power:A
Stamina:A
Intelligence:A
Luck:A 

Phantom: Got it! *Uses keyboard as a boomerang to slash through the rest of the robots, destoying them.* Now let's go.


[you keep on running towards a Sonic 1-style spinny sign end thing, but before you reach it, a robot steals it] 

Phantom: Stupid robot. *Uses keyboard to destroy the robot.* Give *hit* me *hit* the *hit* sign! *hit* 

Shade: Bravo. You have all done it very well. Now, follow me into this door with the sign that says "Burning Room" for your gradua--
[someone's cell phone rings]
One of you guys: Uh... oh, that's me. Sorry. Gotta take this.
*beep*
It's me.
*chatter*
Oh... hey, Shade! You're where?
*chatter*
Colorado? What're you doing THERE?
*chatter*
Hmm... some guy in a suit threw you in a dumpster? Oh. Well, bye! See you soon!
*beep*
Heh... sorry. It was just...... Shade..... what?
[everyone looks at Shade]
Shade: Well, that wasn't... I mean to say I didn't.... uh.... um.......... ACTIVATE SELF-DESTRUCT!
[I need EVERYONE (unless you're one of those who don't get a chance to) to post "I'm out".
if anyone is left behind... well, MISSION FAILED.] 

S.Bonic: I will use my speed to get everyone out ///Matrix/// I'm Out with everyone else.Don't get jealous Shade... 

Okay, compliance. I accept the "everyone out" thing, CONGRATULATIONS! You all have successfully completed DOTHC! You are all OFFICIAL members of the RPG, the Dark Army, and are being reviewed for a position in Dark Chao Adventures' Season 4! I'm so happy to have such cooperative trainees... oh, I'm sorry... GRUNTS. You are no longer classified as Trainees, you are ALL "grunts!" Now, to assign each of you a rank and a role in the army...

Dark-Hawk: CLASS CHANGE-- No longer Grunt, but now a "Shader". Please refer to your DCA Handbook, which I am rushing to complete, for more information. PROMOTION-- Captain. You must ALL refer to him as "Captain Dark-Hawk," okay?

Quartz: Grunt. PROMOTION-- Corporal.

The two who don't come much: Uh... how about you two be "special spectators"? That's your class, and you can't change unless you come more frequently. You have no rank, but you can still help out. You have Private Privilages.

Phantom: Grunt. SPECIAL PROMOTION (page 6, read it)-- Warrant Officer.

So, let's have the graduation, hm? Yes... you'll like this. You all get your own "DCA-style" rank, which will be on the diploma I give you. I'll give you each one as I give you the DCA Handbook! Oh, uh... those 3 who cannot get PMs.... uh... you'll be the only ones to get them publically. Plus, you won't be able to download them.

[some random band plays "Pomp and Circumstance," played like the Hero Race theme]
[Quartz steps up first]
This diploma is to certify that QUARTZ has completed his/her training.
His/her nickname: Dark-ish Humor Guy.

[Quartz steps down as the Special Spectators each get theirs]
Shade: Okay, let's hurry this up!
END!
---------
After reading through that again, years later, I have no idea what was going on.

That's one of the LONGEST, and most IN-DEPTH Episodes I've ever made! Well, there's only a little bit of an intermission here. Here:

S.Bonic: What am I?

CRAP, I forgot! Wow... I forgot COMPLETELY, sorry!

S.Bonic: Grunt. PROMOTION- Corporal.


S.Bonic got a sister and Her name is A.Chao(newly Recent)
Stats:
Swim:A
Fly:A
Run:A
Power:A
Stanima:S
Intelegence:A
Luck:A
(Hero, if no, remember, she can be a spy for the dark garden(you know, hero garden, spy on them?))

Everyone makes mistakes, it's okay. 

Okay, welcome aboard, A. Chao! What is she, a Special Spectator, or will she join in a lot? 

Angel Chao:Hello?S.Bonic?
Shadow Bonic:Hello, Welcome to the Dark Garden
A.Chao:WOW, This looks cooler than the other Gardens.
S.Bonic:Well, I am Constructing a new garden for the dark chaos
A.Chao:When is it gonna be completed?
S.Bonic:As soon as our son Sonic becomes a Devil chao.
A.Chao:Why do we need a Devil Chao(Chaos)
S.Bonic:It takes all 3 types of Chao, it's called the Chaos garden
A.Chao:What's it look like
S.Bonic:You'll have to wait until Sonic's a Devil chao to see, but it has a VERY LARGE pool
about 70 meters Long and 70 meters Wide(it's NOT a square) 

A.Chao:How about...a SPY? So I can tell you what's going on in the Hero Garden?
S.Bonic:Shade, don't assign her SUPER spy. Right now, give her simple gear cuz she can hide it. 

Okay, a spy, huh? Hmm... she'll have the lightest steps. But, BEWARE! That means she can "fly." ...In a bad way. It doesn't take much to make her fly right into a wall!

REMEMBER: In this RPG, Chaos Chao aren't TOO overpowered. In fact, they're not overpowered at all. They simply have big stats. They can be strong and everything, just as long as you don't take away the challenge of some missions!

Don't worry, I'll make the missions not easy

DH: sorry I haven't replied in a while I was signing up my nephew lH! *lightning flashes*
No No!! Not Light hawk! His name is li'l hawk 
D-scription:He only has his wings so far,he's really good at swimming but he trips alot when he runs
he uses his wings for flippers instead of wings but he can fly averagely fast but can only fly for 5 sec. at a time though.He sometimes tawks like this.

DH: lH introduce yourself
lH: Hello evwybody! 

Wow, tons of people here. I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I might need help keeping everything organized! ...Why was S. Bonic banned? 

As for S. Bonic, probably for double posting (no offense). 

- And, around there, we got back to the game.

"Desert Trauma..." an experimental Mission. Didn't go very well. But, was kinda funny. Also part of the serial, "Army." "Army" focuses on the Freelance chao actually being an army.
--------
[several Neutral chao sign up for the army]
[there's a green one named "Shadow," and... that's it]

Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 7: Army part one: Desert Trauma

[the game begins in the therapy room, Shadow (THE Shadow, not the chao) is giving Shade therapy]
Shade: I just don't get it. I'm the ruler of a dark army, and yet... I don't feel anything cool! I mean, all my recruits just finished training!
Sh: It seems like you need some Emo-style remedies. Repeat after me. I don't feel special.
Shade: I don't feel special.
Sh: I like going to therapy.
Shade: I like going to therapy.
Sh: I will give Shadow all my money, and Rouge's phone number.
Shade: I will-- what?
Sh: Uh... I meant, I will do thirty jumping jacks since Shadow knows that's what to do.
Shade: (repeats, then does the excercise) Hey, I feel much better! Thanks, shrink!
Sh: Don't mention it. Here's my bill.
Shade: You're charging me MONEY? I'm a CHAO!
Sh: Just money... it's nothing special.
Shade: FORGET IT! I'm not paying you!
[Shadow kicks Shade out]
Shade: I need to give my men a talk.
[later]
Shade: Soldiers, TEN-HUT! About face! Do you see that? That big mountain? That is what we want. We want to CONQUER that mountain. In order to conquer it, we must head to the desert and battle the temple guard! You heard me! About face! You know your orders, soldiers! GO AND BEAT THAT GUARD!



Okay, you know your mission. Why's Shade doing this? He wants to feel more powerful. So, conquer it for Shade's sake, okay? IT'S ALL UP TO YOU! I mean, I won't help with the story AT ALL until the end. Here's the rules:

You can't just go to the Temple willy-nilly! Take at least three posts exploring the desert.

In the temple, you can't just GO to the guard and kill him! You must spend at least one post exploring the temple, one post solving a puzzle, and then AT LEAST two posts fighting the boss!

..ALL OF YOU, I mean. You EACH must take care of yourselves!
Here are your supplies (each):

A bottle of water (ONLY USE ONCE)
A water canteen (ONCE)
A shovel (INFINITE)
A certain gun depending on what group you're in (FOUR TIMES).

Your gun: If in Shady Shooters, you will get a Shade JUST for this mission! (a Shade is an alien turret from Halo)

Navy: One blow. (cannon)

Air Force: Electaw. (electric thing)

GET GOING, soldiers! 


Flamesonicchao's Quest:
 
I finally got that devil chao and can build the chaos garden for the dark chaos
as for the ban.... .....I accidently stole from a shop. 

S.Bonic: A.Chao, go spy on the heroes and I will go through the desert, seeing as we're technically already liquid, I don't need water but I'll take it anyway just in case.

Several hours later...

S.Bonic:*huff* *puff* I think I might need 2 gallons of water...WHAO!
Sand creatures:you must stop in your path because we will destroy you
S.Bonic:NEVER
sand creatures:I don't think so
(S.Bonic attempts to attacks and they knock him down)
sand creatures:you can never defeat us! ha ha ha-huh?
? ? ?:You leave my father alone
S.Bonic:could it be, my son Sonic the devil chao with stats of

Swim:B
Fly:C
Run:S
Power:B
Stamina:A

S.Bonic:No way! Sonic, get out of here, they'll send you back, it'd be best to run now.
Sonic:No! I will not run away I will-
sand creatures:I SUMMON...

This is the part where you decide what they sommon

#1.Sand monster
#2.Sand demon
or
#3.Sand devil 

Since they're all the same thing, time to continue...

Sand Creatures:(with eyes closed) WITH OUR SAND DEMON WE WILL- where did they go
S.Bonic:(running at full speed) It's a good thing their eyes were shut, Right?
Sonic:*huff*Yea, sure, whatever you say*puff*since we are running why not we have some of that*huff*good looking water*puff*
S.Bonic:We only have one, get on my back!
Sonic:Why?
S.Bonic:Just get on
(Sonic turns and looks behind S.Bonic while on his back)
Sand creatures:YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD GET AWAY DID YOU?
S.Bonic:Sonic, use your Chaos Blasts to take that thing down!
Sonic:Why can't we do this while standing still.
S.Bonic:2 Reasons
#1.It gets you good balance
and #2.IF WE STOOD STILL WE'D BE EATEN ALIVE!!!!!
Sonic:Good Point
Sand creatures:Stop your babling and stand still
Sonic:WHY ON EARTH DID YOU PICK THIS PATH?!
S.Bonic:It's a desert...WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'm not a pshycic.
Sonic:*sigh*
S.Bonic:JUST SHOOT CHAOS BLASTS AT IT ALREADY!!!!
Sonic:Fine!
sand creature:What are you creating
Sonic:It's what I call a Chaos Balst
S.Bonic:WE DON'T have time to GLOAT, just blast him!
Sonic:Fine...CHAOS...
sand creatures:What is he-
Sonic:BLAST
sand creatures:AAAUUUGGGHHH
(moments later)
S.Bonic:Ready to give up?
sand creature #1:*huff**Puff* ne...ver...
S.Bonic:We killed everyone but you, and you still won't give, fine...
sand creature:What the?
S.Bonic:It's our gun, you can have it
sand creature:OH and you expect me to shoot it at you because it's water...
S.Bonic and Sonic:*snicker*
sand creature:So I will shoot it at my self to get wet so I can- *BANG*
S.Bonic:Wow...These sand creatures sure are stupid
Sonic:Yeah, who would really compete against a chaos chao anyway?
S.Bonic:that's not the reason why
Sonic:Well, we wasted a bullet for-
S.Bonic:halarious comedy!
Sonic:your right, we got guns of our own, oh, and it would help if we walked to that mountian.
S.Bonic:uhhhh....I knew that
Sonic:Riiight. 

Remember: you can't just go to the mountain. It's Temple Guard property! So, you need to go beat the temple guard and, in doing so, earn the property rights! 

(While Walking by)
S.Bonic:Man*huff*It*puff*sure*huff*takes awhile*puff*to get there
Sonic:*sigh*, how can you be tired, cause I'm not
S.Bonic:WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'VE BEEN CARRYING YOU AROUND MOST OF THE TIME*huff*DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO NOT BE TIRED!
Sonic:...n- hey, didn't we pass that cactus just a few minutes ago?
S.Bonic:Who cares, let's just take a break.
(one day later)
S.Bonic:We can only last three days without water
Sonic:And that means we will have to drink half each
S.Bonic:To survive an extra day and a half
(out of nowhere...)
Temple guard:WHERE ARE YOU GOING
S.Bonic:we were sent by shade to get to that mountain
Temple guard:Eh? If it's the mountain you're going to*shf*then you're going to have to get past me, HA!
Sonic:Haven't we had enough fighting long enough.
S.Bonic:Yeah, we have barley any water and-
Temple Guard:If you beat me, there is alot of water at the temple.
S.Bonic and Sonic:WAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!!
(several beatings and explosions later)
Temple gaurd:please...no more! I've had enough, just get your dang water!
(this first part is for comedy, it doesn't really happen)
S.Bonic and Sonic:WATER!!!!!!!!
(they drink all the water)
people:HEY, YOU DRANK ALL OUR WATER
people:GET THEM
S.Bonic:uh...lets go...
Sonic:Agreed
(what really happened)
S.Bonic:Well, now that we can get to the mountain
Sonic:AND our water
S.Bonic:We can help Shade feel cool again
Sonic:Don't forget, we can also build the chaos garden
S.Bonic:Right
(some where else in the hero angel)
A.Chao:Okay Shade, nothing funny is going on besides the fact that they keep on talking about this "ultimate weapon"
Shade:Confirmed, I would say "come back to base" but then they'd know you're on my side
A.Chao:Alright, but there is this new chao that just joined the group
Shade:Really? Who is it
A.Chao:They seem to have a chao on their side called "nights" but his back things sticking out of his head are to big to be a nights chao
Shade:Very well then, This may be a prediction but I think that Nightsish chao is their "ultimate weapon" So keep an eye on that chao
A.Chao:Confirmed!

Upcoming news!

The brand new chaos garden is being built at the moment, It will be inhabited by jewel chao and us dark chao on Shade's team.
Until then, see you soon. 

Later in the temple

Sonic:now where are we?
S.Bonic:In the temple, I just can't just help that this is a trap
Sonic:What do you mean! It's just a dumb temp-
(Ground shakes Suddenly)
Temple Guard:You didn't think it was THAT easy to defeat a guard did you?
S.Bonic:not this again
Temple Guard: To make it fair  I will teleport you two somewhere else in this dung- I mean temple
S.Bonic:Noooooo
Temple Guard: I will have my double stalk the devil, and I will stalk you chaos chao
Some where in the temple

Sonic:owww, my head! Huh, a little puzzle, hah! They didn't call me the puzzle master for nothing
(several Hours Later)
Sonic:Man, I am done.
*door rises*
Sonic:A MIRROR?!
/mirror/ Sonic:A mirror? heh heh heh, this ain't no ordinary mirror...This on TAKES YOU ALIVE!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!

in the desert

S.Bonic:How did I end up here!
Illussions:Ha, we will take form of your previous 2 lives
S.Bonic:That means-
Illusion 2:Yes, that means I can go super
S.Bonic: But you don't know how to USE it! Chaos BOMB
Illusion 2:AUUUGHHH!
Illusion 1:BROTHER! You will PAY!
S.Bonic: I'd like to see you try
(one battle later)
S.Bonic:that took all my energy out, that chaos bo- zzzzzzzzzzzzz

In the center of the temple

Temple Guard:Tell us, WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!
S.Bonic and Sonic:WHY SHOULD WE TELL YOU?!
Temple Guard:Because it could get....Messy!
S.Bonic:OUR GUN?!
Temple Guard:Yes...But it's my gun now
S.Bonic:I geuss I'll have to do this
Sonic:NO! then you'll
S.Bonic:I know...  ...But atleast you'll live
S.Bonic:CHAOS
S.Bonic:DEA-
Sonic:*Throws emerald to S.Bonic's hand*
S.Bonic:TH!
*SHING*
S.Bonic:Hey! I'm alive! But-
Sonic: I always carry a Chaos Emerald around you know?
S.Bonic:Whatever, let's just get the heck OUT of here
Sonic:I agree, the sooner the better

(much Much MUCH Later)

S.Bonic:We...We...We made it
Sonic:Shade, we did it, we made it to the mountians, now what do we do? 

S.Bonic:Where are we
Sonic:I don't know, but I thought we already had beaten the Gaurd.
S.Bonic:I geuss not, since we are in a mountian that JUSTHappens to be an Illusion
Sonic:I geuss
(cameo)Nights(Chao):Guys, get down
*beee-ewwwwwww*
S.Bonic:What was THAT?!
Nights:you didn't finish off that guard...he's still HERE
S.Bonic and Sonic:WHAT?!
Temple Guard:HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA! Now it is time for my FINAL form!
*transformers transforming noise*
Demon Guard:I will take down you for you winning your previous encounters with me
*beeeee-ewwwwww*
Nights:Ha
*be-ewwww*ching**ching*Weeee-ewwwww*
Demon Guard:AUGH! I'll take you down first chaos chao
*flash*
Sonic:S.BONIC!!!!!!!!
Nights:Don't worry about him...He's...Gone to a better place
Sonic:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ch ch ch chhhh*
(naruto music)
*pheeeee-wwwwww*
Super Sonic: How DARE you kill my Father
Demon Guard:HA!, do you really think that affects me I- What?!
Super Sonic:From the Firey pits of the demons, I use my Demonic Chaos Bomb
Demon Guard:What?!
Super Sonic:To blow your BUTT down TO the DEMONS!
Demon Guard:HA... Take this
*peee-ewww*
Super Sonic:Agh
Nights:Don't lose focus, we'll get through this
Super Sonic:HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA uh...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Demon Guard:NO! IMPOSSIBLE!
Super Sonic:TAKE THIS
*peeee-eeewwww*
Super Sonic:HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...uh... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Neuclear*
Temple Guard:Okay, you...ugh...beat me...WE WILL MEET AGAIN!
Su- Sonic:Yea, and don't mess with us
Nights:Well, I'll be going...see ya
Su- Sonic:Bye...I will use the rest of my energy to bring S.Bonic Back....errrggggg!
Sonic:I didn't work?

To be Continued...

Did S.Bonic Die, or did he Survive, find out Next time 

But, can you defeat the carpet crawlers? That's right! Before you heal yourself, your *pals* discover that many scorpions fall through the walls into the chamber.

Scorpion: Youuuu cannot esssscape!


Sonic:Darn! I'm all by myself, what will I do
*Sonic looks around*
Sonic:Hey! A Bommerang
Scorpions:Whaaaaat dooo you thiiiink a booomeraaaang wiiiiill doooo?
Sonic:This bomerang will slice all your heads
Scorpions:thaaaat will doooo nothing becauuuuse there are to many of us
Sonic:I geuss...NOT
*throws boomerang and the scorpions deflect it*
Sonic:DRAT! This is almost pointless, there is no way I can win this one
Scorpions:Yessssss...But there isssss no essscape from here anywaaaaaay
Sonic:This Sucks! I geuss I'll just have to fight them off
*Kick* *punch*
Scorpions:The only way you can caaaaan defeat ussss isss to hit ooouuur eyes
Sonic:Hey!That's an Exelent Idea
Scorpions:Ratssss! But you'll never get to hit our eyesssss anyway
*Sonic Runs around and twists their tails in a knot*
Scorpions:Ratsssss, you tricked ussssss!
Sonic:that's right
*A couple hits in the eyes later*
Scorpions:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Sonic:I'll see you later...or maybe...NEVER, HA!
Sonic:well, I don't know how to get out so I'll have to dig!


Labyrinth Zone

(ever played Sonic 1, imagine that music)

Sonic:WOW! I didn't know this place even existed, which means it will be difficult to get through here
Robot:What are you doing here? this is an restricted area, please evacuate imeadeitly
Sonic:But this is my only way out
Robot:I geuss you'll have to get through us!
Sonic:You and what army?
*Robot looks around*
Robot:uh... RETREAT!
*many hours later*
Sonic:Wow! This was easier than I thout
Multiple HUGE robots:GET OUT OF HERE!
Sonic:NO WAY! I need through here
huge robots:THEN WE'LL ELIMINATE YOU!
Sonic:How MANY bosses do I have to fight in one day!?
huge robots:I don't know! I'll have to check
Sonic:Now is my chance to escape
huge robots:AH! you will have to fight- HEY! where did he go?!
Sonic:to much fighting, I need another Break. And yet I am STILL in here for another 5 miles til I'm out of here. Now's the time to rest!
Sonic:z...z...z...z...z...z...z...z...z...z...

To be Continued

Where is S.Bonic? We STILL don't know wether he is dead or alive
in other news, the chaos garden is almost complete
And another Question, where did NIGHTS go?
Find out next episode, or season...who knows...who cares? 

Sonic 1 Labarynth Zone Music

Sonic:z...z...*KABOOM* AUGH! I'm awake
Robots:Where are you?
Sonic: Oh crap, I set up a tent, and that sucks!
Robots:I found you!

BOSS BATTLE
Sonic 1 boss battle

Sonic Robots
HP 500 HP 10,000
MP 500 MP 10,000

Sonic: Speed attack
Robots -100 HP
Robots:Homing Missle
Sonic -250 Hp
Sonic:HEAL!
Sonic +250 HP
Robot:OMEGA BLAST
Sonic -499 HP

SONIC the hedgehog his world

Robots:IT'S OVER
? ? ?:No It Isn't!
Sonic:Huh?
*jumps down*
S.Bonic:I'm Baaack!
Sonic:Yes!

Sonic S.Bonic Robots
HP 1 Hp 1,000 HP 9,900
MP 500 MP 1,000 MP 10,000

S.Bonic: Omega HEAL
Sonic +499
Sonic:EARTHQUAKE!
Robots -900
Robots: Ultra Blast
sonic and S.Bonic -250 Hp
S.Bonic:Ultra Bomb
robots -1,000
Sonic: Electric Bomerang
Robots -500
Robots: KILLER MOVE
Sonic and S.Bonic -500
Sonic: I'm out
S.Bonic:Heal 2
Sonic:I'm Back +500
Sonic: Heal
S.Bonic +500
Robots:EARTHQUAKE!
S.Bonic and Sonic -250
S.Bonic:Hyper Beam
Robots -5,000 (critical hit)
Sonic:Earthquake
Robots -250
Robots: KILLER MOVE
S.Bonic and Sonic -500
Sonic:I'm Down
S.Bonic:Chaos BOMB
Robots -rest of health
S.Bonic:We did it!

(Back to Sonic 1 Labyrinth Zone)

S.Bonic:We need to get out of here
Sonic:Where were you any way?
S.Bonic:Well....

(flash back...Green Hill Music)

S.Bonic:Where am I?
*looks around*
S.Bonic:Hey look, A village!
*walks to citizen*
S.Bonic:Hello. Have you seen a Dark/Devil chao Around here
Citizen:I've seen this chao while looking into the sewers

(End Flash Back...and music)

Sonic:Then I geuss we'll have to climb out of here
S.Bonic:I geuss so
*they Climb out*
(Back to Sonic 1 Green Hill zone music)
S.Bonic:Thank you! 
Citizen:No problem 
*after a couple mile later*
Sonic:  What was that about
S.Bonic:Ever hear of politeness
Sonic:Whatever...  ...

*they reach the mountian*

S.Bonic(speaking into walkie talkie): Okay, Shade, we need more people to come here like you said so I will set camp untill some more people come
Sonic:S.Bonic,Go get some fire wood to start the fire
S.Bonic:Whatever 

Me: Hi, um, 2 of my Chao want to joi--
Jessica: My name's Jessica and I'm a dark/normal/swim Chao and YES that's different from a dark/swim because the tips of my hands, feet, and head are ORANGE, not red, and my head is shaped funny. My stat grades are C,B,A,B,S and according to the Health Center hobo-doctor guy, I'm healthy.
Chaosky: SHUT UP! I'm still better than you!
Jessica: No you're not.
Chaosky: YES I AM AND YOU KNOW IT!
Jessica: Whatever...
Chaosky: Hi, I'm Chaosky and I'm a normal baby hero Chao. I would be alot better if mLe hadn't screwed my chances of becoming an Angel Chao.
Me: OH COME ON! You could've at least told me not to give you any chaos drives!
Chaosky: And you could've at least known not to!
Me: Grrr...
Chaosky: Anyway, I've transformed 3 times and I think I've died once from shortened naps and force-feeding.
Me: You can stop anytime now...
Chaosky: My stat grades are B,B,C,B,A and I'm a pretty good all around Chao. And I'm hungry because mLe won't give me any animals or chaos drives.
Me: DO YOU WANT TO BE A SUPER CHAOS CHAO OR NOT!? And I AM giving you fruits you know!
Chaosky: Excuses, excuses.
Jessica: Anyway, I'm ready for most anything you make us do for any stupid or logical reason.
Chaosky: Yeah, me too. 

Ready, eh? Then, do what I ordered the others to do-- the Desert mission! Here's a recap:

You're on your own for this mission. Spend at least two posts exploring the desert.

Spend at least one post exploring the desert temple, one post solving a puzzle, and one post fighting the boss. When you're done, we can finally move on. 


okay but you'll have to get me started 

You want the mission started? K then.

[the Dark Chao dropship (I dunno) drops you off in the desert]
Shade: I got you as close as I can to the temple! You're on your own from now on! GOOD LUCK!


PaperMasterEX's Quest:

Never got the chance. Such a shame.



mLe's Quest:

Chaosky: Why can't you just drop us off at the temple!?
Shade: Because I feel like it!
Chaosky: ...Wait...what?
[Shade leaves Chaosky and Jessica there in the desert, looking at the Temple on the horizon]
Jessica: Well, this might take a while.
Chaosky: Yeah, let's go.
[They walk for about 5 minutes and find themselves in the shadow of the temple]
Chaosky: That was ENDLESS.
Jessica: You have a problem with walking?
Chaosky: Well...umm...er...look! The entrance!
[A large sign with blinking lights that says 'Entrance' on it with an arrow pointing to a doorway is in front of them]
Jessica: That's helpful...too helpful...
Chaosky: Who cares? Come on!
[He walks up and takes one step into the temple entrance and alarms buzz]
Jessica: It says here *points to sign* that you have to disable the security system or whatever.
Chaosky: You could've told me before I set off the alarms.
Jessica: Yeah, but I didn't feel like it.
Chaosky: So where's the security system?
Jessica: Don't you read?
[She points in the direction of a smaller, light-up arrow that points to a little white box]
Chaosky: Is this going to involve cutting wires?
Jessica: Stop asking me questions! Just read the stupid sign!

Sign: 1. Disable the security system.
[box] <----
2. Yes, you have to cut wires.
3. If you're reading this, you're a monkey.
4. Cut the blue wire.
5. Eat a banana, you monkey.

Chaosky: I find the monkey part insulting.
[Chaosky eats a banana that seems to come out of nowhere and then they cut the blue wire, then cut all the other wires for fun]
Jessica: Okay, let's go before something blows up.
Chaosky: Agreed.
[They run into the temple, barely avoiding the explosion but got caved in]
Chaosky: Oh, great.
Jessica: Whatever. Our quest is to...what is our quest again?
Chaosky: I don't even know, but I'm pretty sure it involves getting through this temple.
[A few minutes of wandering blindly later, they realize that it's pitch black]
Jessica: Light the torch.
Chaosky: But I don't have a tor--
Jessica; LIGHT THE TORCH!!!
[Chaosky lights small animals on fire]
Jessica: I said torch not animals.
Chaosky: Fine, then you light the torch.
Jessica: What torc-- oh...
[They continue down a hallway with flaming animals as their only light source]
[A large room opens up in front of them]
Jessica: What's this?
[Jessica holds up a small, shiny object]
Chaosky: It's shiny...
[Chaosky's pupils widen at the object's shininess]
Jessica: Hmm...yes, it's quite shiny...but...it also looks...PLASTIC! WHAT A RIP OFF!!!
[She throws the plastic thing at a wall and the doors slam shut]
Chaosky: Look what you do. Why'd you even come?
Jessica: Well, let's see, it was YOUR idea to join before this quest was over!
Chaosky: CHICKEN!
Jessica: YO MAMA!
Chaosky: Touche.
Jessica: We have to get out of this room.
Chaosky: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
[Jessica grits her teeth]
Jessica: Okay, HOW do we get out of here?
Chaosky: Let's see, first let's light some more animals so we can see and eventually eat.
[They do that]
Jessica: Now what?
Chaosky: I don't know, I was just hungry.
Jessica: Maybe we should check what's in here then.
[Chaosky looks behind and in some pots and finds some string and sticks. Jessica looks in the cracks of the walls and finds a paper clip and some petrified gum. The both scream for help and kick and pound on the walls where the doors had been.]
Chaosky: What are we gonna do with string, sticks, a paper clip, and old gum?
Jessica: Solve a puzzle?
Chaosky: No, we're going to SOLVE A PUZZLE!!!
Jessica: You're an idiot.
Chaosky: No you.
Jessica: Just, stop. So, what's the puzzle?
Chaosky: We have to find out where it is and then solve it.
Jessica: And the junk we found has to do with it...how?
Chaosky: Don't ask. Just find the puzzle.
[They walk up to the biggest wall and notice a large game board on it]
Jessica: How could we miss that?
Chaosky: Maybe our short attention span and our lack of observation?
Jessica: Yeah, I guess... So what is it?
Chaosky: Looks like a matching game--
Jessica: Well that's lame.
Chaosky: OF DOOM!!!
Jessica: Wow, it's original too. And again, what does the junk have to do with it?
Chaosky: Really, I'm not sure.
Jessica: YOU SAID IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT!
Chaosky: Well, it MIGHT. Here, you start the game, while I watch from waaaaaayyyyy back there behind those pots.
Jessica: Oh no you don't. You're going to help me figure this out.
[Jessica catches Chaosky right before he runs away and accidentally slams him into the game wall]
*Game start. To listen to the instructions, slam Chaosky into the wall again. To start the game, wait for the tone.
[Jessica slams Chaosky into the wall again]
*How to play. You are too short to reach all the squares, so in order to choose a box, simply throw the junk you found at it. To hear the instructions again, slam Chaosky into the wall. To start the game, wait for the tone.
[Jessica gets ready to slam Chaosky into the wall again but he breaks free and then makes a "told you so" face as the tone sounds]
Jessica: Crap. Which one should we choose?
Chaosky: Number...13!
Jessica: WHAT? Everyone knows that number is unlucky!
Chaosky: Not always! Come on!
[Jessica throws a piece of gum at box 13 and a picture of fireballs shows up]
Jessica: Now which one?
Chaosky: Umm...50!
Jessica: There's only 26 squares.
Chaosky: Fine. 26 then.
[She throws the paper clip and hits 26 smack dab in the middle and another picture of fireballs show up]
Chaosky: YAY! A MATCH!
Jessica: No, it's fireballs...Man, I have a bad feeling about this.
[The two squares light up then disappear and a shower of fireballs come out of the empty spaces. They manage to dodge them all.]
Jessica: *huff* This time... *puff* I'm choosing... *huff* the boxes...
[They continue getting matches with things like, arrows, rocks, shards of sharp objects, Michel Jackson music, and various other things to torture them]
Chaosky: OH. MY. HERO CHAOS. One more left!
Jessica: This is easy! ...too easy...
[Chaosky finishes the puzzle before Jessica can stop him]
*Congradulations! You may leave now...If you can!
[Maniacal laughter]
Jessica: Uh-oh. Now you've done it.
Chaosky: ME!? All I did was solve the puzzle to, oh I don't know, SAVE OUR LIVES!!!
Jessica: Or put them in more danger!
[The door opens to reveal an army of robots slightly larger than themselves]
Chaosky: Eep.
Jessica: Weenie.
Chaosky: Oh, yeah? I bet I can take on more than you.
Jessica: I bet NOT!
[They fight them all off within seconds and have equal piles of broken robots but are fighting over who killed more]
Jessica: I so won!
Chaosky: You so did not!
Jessica: YOUR FACE!
Chaosky: YOUR MOM!
[THWUMP!]
Jessica: Eep.
Chaosky: Weenie.
Jessica: Shut up. Don't mock me.
[THWUMP!!]
Both: EEP!
[A ginormous, metal foot crashes through the wall]
Chaosky: A...foot?
[The rest of the robot comes through the wall, revealing itself to be Metal Super Chaos Chao!]
Chaosky: ...Crap.
Jessica: QUICK! THE DOORS ARE STILL OPEN!
[They run out into the hallway which they realize is closing in]
Jessica: Is he still following us?
Chaosky: I'm not looking back to check! I'm running for my life here! You do it!
Jessica: NO!! My life is in jeporididy too! Come on, I see a light ahead!
Chaosky: A LIGHT!? ARE WE DYING!?!?
Jessica: I don't think so! I think we're living!
[They run out into the open then rub their eyes to get used to the light]
Chaosky: Whew, that was close.
Jessica: No freaking duh. 
[Metal Super Chaos Chao comes crashing out of the temple...pyramid....thing]
MSCC: HA! You think you can get away from me that easily?
Jessica: Actually, we were hoping we would.
MSCC: Well TOO BAD.
[Boss theme starts playing]
Chaosky: OH CRAP.

Chaosky HP = 5000

Jessica HP = 6000

Chaosky: HEY! How come you have more HP than me?
Jessica: Cuz I'm better than you.
[Chaosky's eye twitches]

MSCC HP = 11000

Both: OH HERO CHAOS!
Jessica: Well, I guess it's safe to say that this sucks. Chaosky! Use this shovel!
Chaosky: WE HAD A SHOVEL!?!?
Jessica: Sure, why not.
Chaosky: I choose you Shovel!
Jessica: This isn't Pokemon!
Chaosky: Aww...OK...
[The actual battle starts]

Chaosky whams the shovel on MSCC's head.
MSCC HP = 10000
Chaosky: Wow...
Jessica uses her awesome karate skills on MSCC.
MSCC HP = 9900
Jessica: WHAT!? A SHOVEL does more damage than my SKILLZ!?
MSCC shoots Jessica with Dirty Laundry!
Jessica: Dirty Laundry? What is dirty laundry gonna d-- OH MY GOD! I can't breathe! Did I just inhale UNDERWEAR? *cough* *choke*
Jessica HP = 5600
Jessica: LAUNDRY does more damage than my skillz!?
MSCC: HA! NEVER underestimate the power of laundry!
Chaosky uses shovel again.
MSCC HP = 8900
Chaosky: Yay! ^_^
Jessica plays Michel Jackson music.
MSCC HP = 4000
Jessica: TAKE THAT!
MSCC: OH MY HERO CHAOS!!
Chaosky: Coooooooooooll.....
MSCC sings karaoke at Chaosky.
Chaosky HP = 4100
Chaosky: Ouch. NOT COOL MAN!
Chaosky makes a bad pun.
MSCC HP = 3300
MSCC: HOLY CRAP! THAT PUN HURT MY HP!
Chaosky: Guess I didn't know my own strength.
Chaosky HP = 4000
Chaosky: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?
Jessica gives MSCC homework.
MSCC HP = 3000
MSCC: THIS IS SO CRUEL!
MSCC grounds Jessica for giving him homework!
Jessica HP = 5000
Chaosky gets out a gun and--
Jessica: We don't have a gun.
Chaosky: But...but we had a shovel.
Jessica: Yeah, but we don't have a gun.
MSCC: SHUT UP! Jessica you shouldn't be talking! You're grounded!
Jessica: BITE ME!
Chaosky bites MSCC.
MSCC HP = 2500
Jessica is no longer grounded and then gives MSCC a detention for grounding her and not turning in his homework on time!
MSCC HP = 1500
MSCC: I don't find this fair...
Jessica: So what! Life isn't fair!
MSCC uses Final Blaster on Chaosky.
Chaosky HP = 1
Chaosky: Owie...
Chaosky uses heal!
Chaosky HP = 1000
Jessica kicks MSCC
MSCC HP = 1000
Jessica: Even THAT had more effect than my skillz! What the H-E double toothpicks!
Chaosky: Ooooooooooooooooohhh...
MSCC grounds Jessica from one of her turns.
Jessica: WHAT!?!?
Jessica HP = 4000
Jessica: WHAT!?!?!?
MSCC: No talking! You're grounded, remember.
Jesssica: Grr...I'm gonna give you something to remember!
Chaosky uses his awesome karate skillz.
MSCC HP = 999
Chaosky: WHAT? My skills are worse than JESSICA'S!? Come ON!
Jessica: HAHA!
Chaosky: Shut up. You're grounded, remember.
Jessica: You're gonna get it after this.
MSCC shoots Chaosky once with a gun.
Chaosky HP = 500
Chaosky: Oh, yeah, he gets a gun.
Chaosky uses heal.
Chaosky HP = 1499
Jessica is un-grounded and gives MSCC something to remember.
MSCC HP = 0
MSCC: OH MY HERO CHAOS!!! What did you do!?!?
Jessica: I gave you something to remember. Duh.
[MSCC blows up into many pieces and the boss music stops playing.]
Chaosky: Whew.
[Jessica slaps Chaosky.]
Chaosky: What was that for!?
Jessica: I told you that you were gonna get it, remember?
Chaosky: Yeah, yeah. Let's get out of here.
Jessica: And that would be...how?
Chaosky: We could--
Jessica: Make a dune buggy out of the broken pieces of MSCC?
Chaosky: I was gonna say that we could make a dune buggy out of the broken pieces of MSCC but I like your idea better.
[They gather pieces that look like they go to a dune buggy and then put it together to make a dune buggy...thing...]
Jessica: OK, you drive.
Chaosky: Drive? I can't drive! We don't even live long enough to turn 16 and get our license. Unless, of course, we suddenly became Super Chaos Chao...
Jessica: Shut up! I'll drive. You're such a weenie.
Chaosky: Nuh-uh!
Jessica: Uh-huh!
Chaosky: YOUR FACE!
Jessica: YO MAMA!
[They drive off in their awesome dune buggy and when they get back, Jessica takes the dune buggy to the Dark Garden, which Shade may look into later]

Me: 3 in 1! What do you think?
Jessica: I think it's long.
Me: I DIDN'T ask for your opinion you know!
Jessica: I DON'T care!


[Shade is in the therapy room]
Shade: So, doc, my army just got me that mountain, but I'm still not feeling BIG, y'know?
Shadow: I know what you need. You need TO PAY ME!
Shade: Shut up and give me a REAL treatment, okay?
Shadow: Fine. Give me your cell phone for a minute...
Shade: Why?
Shadow: I know what I'm doing.
[he gives him his cell phone, and he presses some buttons]
Shadow: Hmm... so that's what her number is. She told me she changed it.
[Shadow closes the phone and gives it back]
Shade: Well?
Shadow: Rouge told me she changed her number, but apparently, she DIDN'T! She lied to me!
Shade: Calm down and give me my treatment! NOW!
Shadow: Ah, but yelling at me makes you feel big, no?
Shade: Uh... yeah.
Shadow: So, you got your treatment.
Shade: Wow! Thanks, shrink!
Shadow: Now, about my pay...
[Shade kicks Shadow out]

END!
----------
*sigh* My minions... working independently to save themselves from evil! *sobbing* And I gave them orders.... I'm just too happy! Who'd have thought that I, a humble stranger from Georgia (well, from England, but still), would end up being the Field Marshal of an Elite Corps? *sobs even more* *stops abruptly* Here's the quick intermission by mLe.

Jessica: Well, you sure are up late.
Me: Same to you. You should be asleep before me you know. You're a CHAO.
Jessica: So? You're point?
Chaosky: *yawn* What time is it?
[They both look at the clock]
Jessica: I don't know. I can't read a clock.
Me: 11:20pm more or less...
Chaosky: Stay out of this! This is the the-play zone for US!! Not you.
Me: BED.
Chaosky: Fine! I'm tired anyway!
Jessica: Then why'd you get up?
Chaosky: ......I never got up......You didn't see anything......
Jessica: I don't wanna know... So, the reason I'm up so late is that I have forc-- I mean, um, asked another Chao to join! Speak.
Cloud: I'm not a dog. Hi, I'm Cloud. I'm a gray-regular baby hero Chao. That's like a shiny-regular, but instead of shiny, it's gray. I think someone was trying to call me a Warrior Chao or something like that... I would tell you my stats and all that, but it's really late and I am going to bed. G'night.
Jessica: ...Maybe I should have waited 'til tomorrow...
Me: You got that right. I don't see why you have to do these things so late.
Jessica: At least I had an excuse. What's yours. I bet you don't have one.
Me: Oh yeah? ....uh......um......Oh yeah??
[everyone grumbles and goes to bed, not knowing what death-defying mission Shade has for them the next day] 


"Alt and F4..." I believe this was one of those rare GOOD missions. Yep. Sure was. Also part of the "Army" serial.
-----------
Dark Chao Role-Playing Game Mission 8: Army part two: Alt and F4

[this mission begins in the Hero Garden, Shade and his army are doing a stake-out on the Heroes]
Shade: Shh! You all know your mission, right? Expose Chao and his STUPID Hero Chao, but don't make yourselves known! And, by "expose," I mean "ridicule."

You all have:

A can of red spray paint

A hero chao halo (fake)

and "Hero Chao for Dummies" the book. 


S.Bonic:Sonic You have remembered the mission right?
Sonic:We CAN'T really go, you know that right?
A.Chao:If only we had a chao that was normal.
S.Bonic:WAIT! Aren't you already "falsley" on their side?
A.Chao: Yeah, but I AM already a Hero Chao
Sonic:That means a CERTIAN leader will have to give us some hero choa eye contacts
Shade:Uh...Right away!
*moments Later*
Shade: Here are your Fake Hero Eyes
S.Bonic:Nevermind that, I'll go fetch another Chao Mine...SHADOW!
Shadow: Yes sir?
S.Bonic:Put these on and go Ruin their garden
Shadow:Why don't you do it
S.Bonic:Because their are no hero chao that look like a Chaos Chao.
Shadow:Good point, alright, but I'd like my friend Nights(Chao) to help me on this one...NIGHTS!
Nights:No I don't want to go out for you! I'm going out on my own
Shade:There is only ONE can of spraypaint You HAVE to go with him or you won't be able to go at ALL!
S.Bonic:He's telling the Truth!
Sonic *pulls out the ONLY can of spraypaint there is*:Here you go, have a nice time! 

Nights throws a spray can at S.Bonic puts on the fake hero chao halo and runs for it.
S.Bonic:Nights get back hear so I can kill you.
Nights:Ha Ha
Nights runs into Chao
Chao:Oh hello haven't seen you around here before whats your name.
Nights:Uh.......
Knuckle,Tail and Speedy run up.
Knuckle:Hay Chao whats up who is the new guy.
Chao:He was about to tell me. What is your name?
Nights:Uh.............Butz!
The four morons:Butz?
Nights: Ya Butz.
Chao:Well um...... welcome to the garden Butz.
Butz:Well I guess I'll check out my new home.
Chao:How about Speedy show you around.
Butz:Um .......... no thanks I'll check around by myself.
Chao: No no no no I insist.
Butz:Um.....I'm ok
Chao:sure?
Butz:sure.
Butz(Nights) ran to a cliff pulls out the hero chao for dummies.
Butz:Um.........ok it says here that hero chao treat other chaos nicely.I'm not doing that!
Knuckle:Not doing what.
Butz:Um........(quikly puts the book away.)Nothing.
Knuckle: Okey if you need any thing talk to us.
Butz:Ok.
Butz runs away.
Knuckle:weird.
Butz runs behind a chapel 
Butz: okey none here.
Butz pulls out his spray can.
Tail: hay Butz what are you hiding for.
Butz puts the spray can away quickly.
Butz: I'm playing hide and seek.
Tail: with whom.
Butz:Um.....with myself.
Tail:Um......ok bye.
Butz:so long.
Butz: ok now to get the job done and get out of this place.
Chao:Hay Butz! How are you doing.
Butz:Find.
Chao:Ok well see you later.
Butz:Will these morons leave me alone.
Butz quickly sprays Hero Chao Stink Like Vinegar.
Butz: Time to run.
Butz runs to the exit.
Speedy: Hay Butz where are you going?
Butz: I'm going to the kindergarden.
Speedy:Why? Its not time to go.
Butz: I'm going to meet the teacher.
Speedy:Okey see ya later.
Nights runs out takes of the halo and goes to the Dark garden.
Shade:Nights your back how did it go?
Nights:Perfect. 


Shade: Nice, Nights! Nicely done... how are the others doing?
Nights: Tangled up in one big mess... Dark pretended he was a girl named Yvonne.
Shade: (face-palm) Well, I'll get them back.
[he does that]
Shade: All of you, listen up! Nights did so well in that mission, he is now a Corporal! Now, I want you all to run to the store and-- who's that in the back?
[the Dark chao all look at a strange chao in the far back]
?: (monotone) What? Me? What are you talking about?
Shade: Hmm... what's your name, soldier?
?: Seaman Meta-Tail, sir.
Shade: A navy officer... in my army? Finally; someone with class! Folks, you should all listen to Emtee here. He has the guts to join the navy! You know... the marines. The cool guys who battle, awaiting death by sea.
MT: That is correct, Field Marshal Shade, sir.
Shade: Oh, did you hear that? He referred to me by my proper rank! And by "sir!" I like you, seaman. Just enough to promote you to Leading Rate.
MT: Thank you, oh better-than-me, sir.
Shade: (grin) ...I like this guy already. Uh... Quartz, guess what? You're the new Dark. You are considered a Dalit, and will clean up EVERYTHING. You are not allowed to speak to anyone above you, nor even LOOK at them. They will feel disgusted to even walk in the same STREET as you! PS: Cows are allowed to walk the streets freely.
[a cow moos]
Q: Wha--? Oh, Hero Chaos!
[Quartz goes to clean up the, uh... "scat"]
Shade: By the way, you're not allowed to use a mop, sponge, broom, rake, or ANYTHING clean-related. Not even saliva.
Q: --Ugh...
[everyone (besides Quartz) laughs]
Shade: Say, Leading Rate... how would you like to prove to me your loyalty?
MT: Definitely, great sir.
Shade: Battle Nights.
N: What!?
Shade: NOW! To the death! ....or at least until I get bored. 

Meta Tail:Ha Ha Shade I'll kill this fool now.
Nights:I can't be held respanseable for what happens to you.
MT:You won't be able to harm me.
N:Your all talk.
MT:Your just a normal chao.
N:Grrr... metal mouth!
MT:Normal Chao!
They jump at each other.
Nights:5000
Meta-Tail:5000
Nights:Ha I get the first attack.
Meta-Tail:It won't help you.
N:spin attack
MT:4500
MT:death beam
N:4000
N:Meteor Mash
MT:3500
MT:Dark Eruption
N:3000
N:Star Rain
MT:2500
MT:destrucion
N:1000
N:Black Hole
end for now Shade decides! 

QEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........................... Now my hands are all scat covered ........................................................................................................................ ................................................................
Ive got an idea!
(tags dark )
Q:Your it! 

S.Bonic:Nights is gonna wish he did NOT throw that at me
*walks torward Nights*
N:Can't you see, I'm in a Battle?
SB:I know...
N:wait, you're not gonna
SB:I AM
*S.Bonic completely Knocks Nights out of the Garden*
SB:That should teach him, CHAOS BOMB
*the robot exploded*
SB:I do have to admit, He DID weaken him...
*later inthe dark Garden*
Shade:WHAT DID YOU DO S.BONIC?!
N (with broken bones):who am I? Where am I?
Shade:HE'S LOST HIS MEMORY!
SB:Why should I care?
Shade:Because you can Heal him!
SB;Fine but I'm changing one thing
*after the healing*
N:Would you like a hug and some cookies?
Shade:At least he's not a crazy Angry freak...Right?
(Everyone except for nights):Thank goodness! :3 

[Phantom and I walk into the Hero Garden, Phantom wearing the Hero chao halo.]
Me: You know what to do, right?
PH: Yup! Gain the idiot's trust, terorize thier garden, and run out.
Me: Good, good. Well, bye.
PH: Where you going? Aren't you gonna stay?
Me: No! This is your mission, not mine. My mission is to lay on my butt and watch TV. Bye.
[I leave]
PH: Lay on my butt and watch TV... that lazy arse. Better go talk to them Heroes.
[Phantom walks over to Chao, Tail, and the like.]
PH: Hi, guys! I'm... um... uh... Opposer!
Chao: Opposer? 
PH: Yeah! I'm named that because I oppose Darks!
The Heroes: Welcome, Opposer!
PH/OP: Yeah, hi. I'm gonna look around.
Chao: How 'bout Tails, Knuckle, Speedy, or I show you around?
PH/OP: No thanks.
[Phantom/Opposer walks over to the shine-looking thing, pulls out the red spray paint, and makes sure no one's watching.]
PH/OP: Perfect!
Chao: What's perfect?
[Phantom quickly puts the spray paint away.]
PH/OP: Um... the garden is.
Chao: OK. See ya.
[Chao leaves.]
PH/OP: Stupid Hero chao.
[Phantom spray paints "Darks rule all!" on the wall.]
PH/OP: Let's see what them Heroes think of that.
[Phantom quickly leaves the garden unnoticed, enters the Dark Garden, and takes off the halo.]
PH: Mission acomplished... I hope. 

Jessica: I have to do this one alone? Dang...
[She puts on the fake halo but realizes that it doesn't make a difference]
Jessica: Ugh. CLOUD! GET IN HERE!
Cloud: Ack! Okay, YOU'RE paying for my hearing aids.
Jessica: Whatever. I need you to put on this halo and go screw up the Hero Garden.
Cloud: And why can't you do it?
Jessica: Because I'm a dark Chao and the halo doesn't make me look anything like a hero Chao.
Cloud: Then go get something from Shade that'll make you look more... hero... Chaoy...
Jessica: Why would I do that when I have you?
Cloud: There's no getting out of this, is there?
Jessica: Nope.
[at the entrance of the Hero Garden...]
Jessica: You know what to do, right?
Cloud: Yeah, yeah. I take the spray paint, say something like "Dark Chao rule, Hero Chao drool" and then run away.
Jessica: Excellent. *pulls out Hero Chao for Dummies* You know how Hero Chao act, right?
Cloud: I'm a freaking baby hero Chao. I think I know how to act. Wait...why am I always in the dark Garden if I'm a baby HERO?
Jessica: I dunno. Jeez, don't throw logic at me, just DO IT!
Cloud: Fine, be that way.
[Cloud steps into the Hero Garden and is instantly greeted]
Speedy: Hi! I'm Speedy! Welcome to the Hero Garden! What's your name?
Cloud: I'm...Pudgy!
Speedy: What?
Pudgy: My name!
Speedy: Oh. Hi!
Chao: Hello! How are you?
Pudgy: I'm good.
Knuckle: Hey, who's the new kid...again?
Pudgy: I'm Pudgy!
Knuckle: What?
Pudgy: My name......
Knuckle: Oh...do you wont any of us to show you around, uh, Pudgy?
Pudgy: No, I'm okay.
Chao: You sure?
Pudgy: Yeah.
Speedy: Well, okay. See ya!
[Clo-- Pudgy... walks under the bridge and pulls out the can of spray paint]
Tail: Hi!
Pudgy: Whaha!? Oh, hi.
Tail: You need anything?
Pudgy: No...
Tail: Okay. Ask any of us if you do!
Pudgy: Alright...
[Pudgy nervously walks behind a pillar and checks for any Heroes]
Pudgy: Sheesh, these guys are everywhere! They're like...stalkers...
[He quickly writes "Stupid Hero Chao are stupid!" and runs like mad out the door and falls down the stairs]
Pud--I mean...Cloud: Oww...
Jessica: How'd it go?
Cloud: Well, I was Pudgy and--
Jessica: What?
Cloud: MY NAME!
Jessica: Oh...proceed.
Cloud: And they kept stalking me... I saw a bunch of other graffiti around though.
Jessica: Makes sense... I think we're one of the last groups to do this mission.
Cloud: Yeah, just, don't make me do that again.
Jessica: Yeah, yeah. We'll see.
Cloud: Huh?
Jessica: Nothing... 

S.Bonic:Well, Since on the other memory card-
Sonic:MEMORY CARD?!
SB:Yea, Isn't this on the memory card?
S:No way, That would be impossible.Why?Because we wouldn't have been able to go to the Desert
SB:Good Point, This will be my loner mis-
Silver(Chao/my chao):Hello S.Bonic, Remember me? Especially my stats
Swim:D
Fly:S
Run:C
Power:A
Stamina:C
SB:Yes, the chao Representing Silver the Hedgehog(Don't Believe me go to http://chao.hippotank.com/sa2/hero.php and look at Hero/Flying/Flying)
Sonic:GET GOING ALREADY
SB:Right away
*entering the hero Garden*
Chao:Who are you?
SB:I'm Chaos
Chao:and you?
Silver:I'm E.T. Yea my owner is bad...
Chao:I see
*Tail and Knuckle come by*
Tail:Who are they?
Chao:*points at S.Bonic* That's Chaos *then points at Silver* And that's E.T.
Knuckle:Didn't they already end the Neutral War?
SB:Uh...Yeah, I'm just here to plant(By the way, A.Chao Is still spying on the Heroes)
Silver:Exactly
Tail:Whatever, I need that area Planted over there *points behind a wall*
SB:Alright
*Behind the wall, S.Bonic pulls out the Spraypaint*
SB:This is easier than I thought
*Starts Spraying the wall*
Tail: Hey Chaos how are yo- WHAT?!
Silver:S.Bonic, Look up
*S.Bonic looks up*
SB:OH CRAP!
*They dash of into the Dark Garden before anyone else saw them Run away*
SB:That was CLOSE
Silver:At least mission Acomplished! 

You aren't either!

Q:well since i'm a neutral the I could go in without any cstume paint it up and return by flying.
(he goes in)
Chao:hey aren't you working wiith shade?!?
Q:Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh........Who?
C:oh good then I'll show you around
Q:thanks
(1 hour later)
C:thats pretty muc it ecept for that bell tower that only flyers like yourself can reach.
Q:Interesting
C:ok bye
Q:see ya
(5 hours of using the leftover spraypaint to paint the entire rest of the garden including the bell tower with phrases such as HERO CHAO SUCK etc. while the chao were asleep later)
Q: (returning to Dark Garden) Sup!
Shade:we thought you were dead or something!!!!!!!!
Q:I might be when they see how much painting I did
S:how much?
Q: The entire garden including the bell tower that only fling types can reach is covered with heckling phrases, SIR! (Say that sir with emphasis)
S:PERFECT!!! 

Shade: Okay, end the fight!
N: But... neither of us are dead.
Shade: I know, but I'm bored.
MT: Field Marshal, sir, what is our next mission?
Shade: Your next mission? Uh...
[CRASH!]
[a giant badnik entered, followed by many others]
Dark: Look! Eggman's robots!
Shade: Shut up, Dark. You're the new you. Quartz is back to normal, plus double promoted to Warrant Officer.
[many chao make whining remarks]
Shade: Me and him had a talk, okay? Anyway, your next mission is to destroy those badniks! 


S.Bonic:ALRIGHT, A MISSION WORTH WHILE!
Sonic:Let's Go
A.Chao:Agreed
Silver:Let's get them
S.Bonic: Alright, It's time for Sonic Heroes
Silver:But, We're chao, not Sonic
Sonic:And we don't even have enough teams
SB:Oh...Well, we can get them anyways!
*later in the base*
Eggman:WHAT?! Chao are going to help us?
SB:That's Right
Egg(eggman's short name):Prove it!
SB Sonic and AC:Chaos Bomb!
*50 Robots in the next room were destroyed*
Robots:GET THEM
SB:Quick Strike!
*S.Bonic Quickly does a dash attack and 25 Destroyed*
Sonic:Demon Uppercut!
*Sonic does a Dark Uppercut and destroyed 50*
AC:Holy Rain of Death
*It rains Yellow bright Stars and Kills them*
SB:too much Chaos Explosion!
*It all blows up*
Egg:Now I have to build it all over again! Drat!
SB:Sucks to be you
Egg:This is why I don't like Chao
Sonic:Oh well...
AC:Chaos Ultimate SPEED!
*He fixes the base*
Silver:There are 1,000 more Robots, MIND DESTRUCTION
*The Rest blow up*
SB Sonic AC and Silver:Bye, and we're gone! 

The Robots in the dark garden
Nights:1000
N:dang it I'm hert! Thats it my one it hit kill all my opponets move. BIG BANG!
100 of the 1000 robots see the galixy in frout of them.
Robots: What is this?
Nights:DIE!
The Robots start getting crashed into the size of a egg. Then the egg exploded killing all of them.
Nights: That is my power!
Eggy:Um....If I could capture that chao Nights I could have ultamate glaltic power. We will meet again! 

Q:This is simple
S:how?
Q:let them do the work!
S:ohhh!

[CRASH!]
Shade: What was that?
Random chao: Sir! Billions of robots appeared throughout the gardens!
Shade: Oh, boy... listen, I have a mission for you. A big mission.

All of you guys will be split up into seperate missions.

Quartz and Phantom will go to CPAK and each of you will search half the building. Quartz- the West side, Phatom- the East.

"Wait! The chao don't go to CPAK until DCA 4, which takes place after the RPG!"

Yeah, well, they're not IN the class, they're just in the building.

S.Bonic and Shade will stand guard in the Dark Garden in case more robots come.

Dark-Hawk and Nights will check out the Netural and Hero Gardens. Dark-Hawk will guard the Neutral Garden in case robots go in there, and Nights will make sure the Heroes are okay.


Now, for my "mission log."

[Shade waits a few minutes after the others start]
Shade: *yawn* Man, I'm bored!
SB: Be patient, Shade, what if robots break in and go berserk while our guard is down?
Shade: *imagines that situation* ...I don't wanna lose my legs.
[eventually, a robot comes in]
Shade: S.Bonic, Dark Smash formation Alpha!
[they form some crazy formation and destroy it]

The rest of the Dark Garden part will be continued by S.Bonic. You guys do yours. 

Q:Lets go!
(Later in CPAK)
Q:OK checkin the school just my body and me. Hmmmmmmm......... a locker.?.?.?
Q:(opens black market locker) ahhh fugitives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
B-mart owner:no wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(too late quartz has already knocked him and the sea monster out)
Q:Now-Hey look items!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(takes all items)
Q:(looks at hero fruit/seeds)Gross,these are useless.(throws them away)
??????????:helllllllllllllppppppppppppp
Q:what the?!?!?
(In the classroom)
Tails: help!!!!!!!!!!!!(he's surrounded)
Q:I got it!
(later robots are scattered)
T:how did you do that
Q:I just rerouted it's circuts to the outcooped circut board so it woud swiftly annihalate all others
T:wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttt?????????????
Q: I messed with it so it'd kill 'em.
T:OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
(you do your half Phantom.)
P.S. (If you are really hurt you can come to my half to rest and heal.) 

PH: Allright, to the fortune teller's or the docter's room first? [Thinks] Fortune teller's, for sure.
[Phantom goes into the fortune teller's room]
PH: Hello, anyone home?
: HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!
[Phantom sees the fortune teller surrounded by three robots]
PH: Got it!
[Phantom jumps onto one of the robots and punches it in the back. He backflips onto another one right before the first blows up and a Chaos Drive pops out. The third one tries to shoot Phantom, who jumps onto the third robot, making it blow up the second robot and a Chaos Drive pop out. Phantom punches the third robot in the back and jumps off. The robot blows up and another Chaos Drive pops out. Phantom absorbs all the Chaos Drives.]
FT: Thank you. Would you like a fortume?
PH: No thanks. I like my name.
[Phantom leaves the room]
PH: Uhg... better check the doctor's room.
[Phantom walks in and sees a malfunctioned robot]
PH: Might as well blow it up.
[Phantom punches it and it blows up. Another Chaos Drive pops out and Phantom absorbs it.]
PH: I don't feel like checking on the docter.
[Phantom leaves the room.]
PH: I'll peek in the principal's office.
[Phantom peeks behind the door, but sees nothing. He closes the door.]
PH: Well, my job is done. 

N:Still not healed and Dark Hole would have killed that Meta-Tail. Oh well to the Heroes.
Nights goes to heroes and hears the theme. Nights sceams like Zim.
N:Change the music!
It changes to Zim theme.
N:Ok time to move.
S:AHHH!!!
N:Speedy what are you doing?
S:Running from that!
Nights looks to see a big robot lifting its arm.
N:Oh you got to be kidding me.
N:Whow!! Nights rolls out of the way and runs for it screaming like Zim the robot gives chase.(funny chase music starts)They run all around the garden.
N:Ahhhhhh!!!!!
BR:target locked! Nights runs into the water.
N:Ah! Water it burns!
BR:O no. The robot falls into the water starts sparking and blows up.
N:Uh? !!! Oh ya I rule the robots dead. I'm done hear

Q: Okay i better get those ultima drives those robots dropped. (he does)
P: ultima drives?
Q: I got the design in the desert
P: you weren't there!!!
Q: I didn't do the mission because i was to busy looking for the design. By the way...two of those you got were ultima drives!
P: Cool! Wait...why did the robots have them??
Q: I slipped the design to Eggman's base while you were fighting the boss. He claimed it as his own and mass equipped them to his robots.
P: What is the point of giving them to his robots if it just makes them profitable to desroy.
Q: Its Eggman.
P: Oh yeah! 

SB:Man, guarding the Dark Garden is boring, Can I call up my buddies Shade?
Shade:Sure
*beep* *boop* *beep* *Beep* *boop* *boop*
Sonic:Hello?
SB:Hey, do you want to play some volley ball?
Sonic:Sure
*they come to play*
SB:Welcome, let's play
*they play*
*the robots come*
Robot 1:They don't seem to care
Robot 2:Is that so?
Robot 3:Since they don't care, let's leave and forget destroying the Dark Garden 

Q:Ok thats it the neutral garden needs help!
(runs into the neutral garden trips on a grey eggshell and falls into the water,the eggshell lands on his head)
Q:(looking through two convieniently placed holes) Hey nobody is here!
(he returns to the dark garden)
Q: No one seems to care about the neutral garden...
S: Duh its neutral and lame. Now get that grey off your head(Hits the eggshell off Quartz' head)
S: (under his breath) it's my color. 

[explosions are heard coming from the Neutral Garden]

[a ferocious roar is heard from CPAK]

[and the same with the other gardens] 

[everyone runs into the Neutral Garden, and they all see a large robot version of Metal Soni-- wait a minute...]



[Well, a large version of Metal Sonic. Much more powerful.] 

N:Something doesn't seem right here. That roar... l've herd it before.... Lavos!
Nights starts saking in fear.
N:Thats impossable it can't be Lavos not now! (A Twist in the plot.)
S:Nights get up and help us fight now!
Nights snaps back to reality.
N:Yes sir.
Nights starts to fight. All during the fight.
N: (sensed Lavos's energy but why now?) Nights douges a punch.(Lavos sould be dead why is he alive?) Nights blasts Giga MS in the face.(All these qestions and no anwser. Oh well I'll find out later.) 

[Metal whatsisname summons scorpions]
Shade: Oh, crap! He used summon!
Dark: QUICK! Go all WoW on him! 
[the robot knocks Shade out] 

PH: I'm going.
[Phantom uses his awesome phantom-like powers to float in front of the giant Metal Sonic's face.]
PH: Hi!
GMS (Giant Metal Sonic): Roooooooooooooaaaaaarrrrrrr!
PH: Ya gotta yell?
GMS: Roooooooooooooaaaaaarrrrrrr!
PH: You wanna play that way? Fine. But I like playing this way.
[Phantom zooms around GMS's head. It starts to get confused and accidently calls back the scorpions.]
PH: Someone else fight his thing while I take Shade behind the waterfall and try to wake him up!
[Phantom picks up Shade and carries him behind the waterfall.] 

Dark: OMG, he killed Shade.
SShade: The retard
Q: Hey look the sword of 1000 truths!
S: (Gets out of coma) WHAT!
Q: World of warcraft joke...
(he stabs the MS head)
Q: That lifeless robot is dead 

[the giant robot reactivates, and switches to "Anti-Quartz mode"]

Q: CRAP!
(He runs to CPAK dashesinto the black market knocks the owner out hugs the sea monster{to get a fire emotaball}Then dives into the white eggshell in the back of the black market to hide)
Q: Please don't see me! Please don't see me! Please don't see me!
S: Why'd I have to wake up!?!?!? 

N:Ha that mode dosen't stop me!¤Nights blasts GMS while flying around.
GMS:You pest stand still so I can hit you and kill Quartz.
Q:Don't get hit! ¤Nights flys staright at GMS.
N:Spin attack! Nights blasts right though GMS killing him.
GMS:No not again!
N:ha ha in you face starts to sing the DOOM SONG.
N:doom doom doom doom doom doom...... 

Congrats! The giant robot is DEAD! Then...

[what looks like Eggman is seen sneaking away in the rubble]
Shade: AFTER HIM!
[it's not Eggman, it's the Egg Robo!]
Dark: Whuh?
Shade: OPEN ALL FIRE ONTO THE EGG ROBO! 

*waves magic wand*
)egg robo turns into a frog!(
DH: aww crap, I wanted fries...my wand needs a tune-up.
lH: *dressed like a cheerleader* LETS GO HAWK RA RA RA!!!
DH: get outta that uniform...*sweatdrop* 

N:¤sweatdrops¤ ummm.....
A big cat runs in.
B:Froggy!!!
The cat takes the frog away.
N:Ummmm this is akword.
Nights goes back to dark garden. 

)all the chao agree(
*all starts going to the chao garden*
noticing something DH: whats tha- *it hits his head and he gets knocked out*
shade:what was that?
Dark:it was a roc- *another rock hits darks head and he also passes*
shade: hu-... *samething...* >.>
)after 5 seconds all the chao are hit with rocks and they all pass out(
-----------
Right here is where Volume 2, unfortunately, comes to an end. I hope you all liked this set as much as I did making (and commentating on) it! See ya next time!