A team of chao... lost in a new world... Involving... ALL-NEW places to explore! NEW chao, all with just as funny dialogue! NEW enemies, each funnier than the last! NEW ADVENTURES... NEW STORIES... NEW LANDS... NEW WORLD... And all they have to rely on are a bunch of loonies and their crazy fables! Dark Chao Adventures Season 4. Interesting. Deadly. Funny. Weird. Crazy. Episode 30: Avenging Till the End of Time [this story begins at a dark factory, in the main control room] ?: Muahahahahaha! Finally... I get my big break! I never thought I'd be behind such a plot... Minion: Master, the chao are coming-- with Metal Sonic! ?: (fist slams onto desk) Metal Sonic... I loathe you... M: What do you plan, master? ?: Tell me... is Shade with them? M: (checks) ...yes. ?: DOUBLE DRAT! Shade... Metal Sonic... both leaders of the groups we hate. Shift the factory into DOUBLE OVERDRIVE. [the evil guy laughs as the camera zooms in on a TV screen watching the chao] Chapter 1: Operation- SHUTDOWN Shade: All right, what do we know so far? Dark: That it's a dark factory, and it's throwing up storm clouds. Shade: (like a pirate) Yarr... ye olde Chao Talk sickness... Chao: Are you trying a lame joke attempt again, Shade? Shade: No, I just wanted to do that. [the chao enter the factory, and it's dark] Dark: Wow, it's-- Shade: You know, Dark, that joke got old the first time you used it. Dark: --dark... yeah, I know. [a voice is heard over a PA system, the lights turn on] ?: Hello, chao... and Metal. It's been a long time... MS: I recognize that voice... Shade: Strangely, me too. ?: Of course you recognize me... I'm with Echo. ...Or, rather, vice versa. MS: Just an Ordinary evil Entity... why are you here? ?: Mmmhmmhmmhmmmhmmmmmm... so... you DO remember my name... or, rather... what I THINK it stands for. MS: Stop fooling around, J.O.E, where are you? JOE: I'm in the control room... where did you THINK I was? Shade: That TV room with the Daleks. JOE: --Uh......... (nervously) Well, uh... no. Chao: I have one question, DJay... Me: Yeah? Chao: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BETA REFERENCES!? Me: Hey, in MY 'fic, I don't let things die! JOE: Ah, yes... YOUR "Fic." However, it is no longer YOUR 'fic... DJ. Me: What do you mean? JOE: You should have noticed how you are suddenly... LACKING... in quality. Starting last episode. Me: ...what are you implying? JOE: Turn around. [I turn around, and the M.I.L.K.M.A.N. sacks me and takes over] MM: Heheheh... All ready, JOE. This story is OURS now! HOE: Thanks. Now, you insolent fools... [the chao giggle, then burst into laughter] HOE: What? (looks at name) --MILKMAN!!! MM: *chuckle* Sorry, couldn't resist. Okay, I'll change it back. HO: Thank you. NOW... [the chao laugh really hard, except the younger ones (and Dark)] Tail: What does that mean? HO: OH MY-- okay, I can't do this. If you're gonna keep on doing that, then I-- MM: Ha... okay, okay, I'm sorry. I am very sorry. I just couldn't go through without doing that. JOE: <.< ...thanks. That's better. TOE: Now-- wait... <.< MILKMAN... MM: Hey, I just had to. Okay, no more. JOE: *sigh* ................. anyway, you stupid chao must find me first! [JOE goes into a long monologue as the chao (and Metal) go through a door that reads "Control Room"] JOE: ....and furthermore-- ...did they go in? MM: Yup. Fell for it like the fools they are. JOE: Excellent... [the PA turns off, cut to the chao] Buddy: This doesn't look like the control room... [it's a room with a large vat of plasma] [a strange, undefinable, cloaked creature walks out at the other side of the room] MS: Finally decided to show up, eh? JOE: Yes. As you can easily tell, you have been tricked into entering this room. Instead-- Dark: We couldn't tell that. JOE: ....well, you were. This ISN'T the control room, and the door behind you is now locked. SShade: So how will YOU leave? JOE: The MILKMAN has all the power. He can easily warp me out. SShade: Hm. Continue. JOE: As I warp out, that small platform you're standing on? It'll disappear, leaving you falling into the plasma! [some chao worry] JOE: And if that's not enough, eat BUZZBOMBERS! [those wasp things from Sonic 2 enter] JOE: Toodle-oo... [JOE is magically warped away] Chapter 2: Teamwork At its Gayes-- uh... Fullest. [the platform slowly retracts into the wall, and the buzzbombers aim] PF: So then, who's ready to die? [several chao agree] DH: Wait a minute here! Shade, I think it's time you got back to your awesome self. Remember the good ol' days? Fighting the Heroes, conquering mountains, promoting officers? Shade: Forget it, Dark-Hawk. Those times are over. The platform's nearly retracted, the plasma's rising, and robots are ready to fry us with a 50% chance of rain. [Dark-Hawk tosses Shade at the buzzbombers, which are destroyed, and Shade clings on to a railing on the wall] Shade: DARK-HAWK, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? Chao: Remind me to do that next time he enters the Hero Garden, Knuckle. K: Good thinking. Honey: I think I'm starting to get what Dark-Hawk's trying to say. Chao: Me, too. KILL THE DARK CHAO! Honey: NO! We need to work together to get out of here! MS: Or... you could just hold on to me as I fly you out. PFI: Not quite your best idea, Metal. That plasma will easily fry you, we need to get YOU out some other way. [the chao work together, tossing each other to the mysteriously large railing, until Metal's the only one left] MS: You shrimps crawl through that air vent and try to find a way for me to get out! [Metal notices the plasma getting closer] MS: And, uh... double time on that last part! Shade: Roger that! [24-style countdown clock appears in the middle of the screen, counting down 05:00] [the chao crawl through on the top-left] [JOE laughs evily on the top-right] [I struggle to escape the rope I am tied up in at the bottom-left] [Metal stands, worrying about the plasma at the bottom-right] [cut to the chao, they break into the control room] [JOE is not there] SB: There's gotta be some kinda switch, or button... Ph: Hm? (notices button labeled "plasma") ...found it! [Phantom presses the button, and the plasma rises twice as fast] [cut to the 24-style screen, with the countdown at 2:00] SB: well, that takes care of THAT problem! [Metal's screams are heard] LGS: Somehow, I doubt that. [S.Bonic rapidly presses buttons] [eventually, the plasma stops] [cut to the 24-style screen, the countdown stops] [the chao rush back, and notice that Metal is gone] Devilish: Where could he have gone off to? JOE: (on PA) Heheheheh... you may be wondering where Metal Sonic went. Well, he's here, with me. [the Dark chao all shout "EWWWWWWWW!"] JOE: I didn't mean like that! Sheesh. Me and Metal shall battle to the death... while I reactivate that plasma! Shade: Well, we're screwed. G'bye, guys. Dark: See ya, Shade. I'll miss you. Chao: It was nice knowing you two... believe it or not. Q: C'mon, guys! We can do this! We can pull ourselves together, and make it out! Shade: ...DJ really HAS let the quality of this script drop, hasn't he? [Quartz slaps Shade] Q: WAKE UP! This isn't what the OLD Shade would say! Shade: *sigh* ...you guys are right. The old Shade would make a snappy comeback, and attempt a suicidal hop to the ceiling, break it open, crawl through, dash to JOE and beat the living snot out of him. Chao: Now THAT'S the Shade we all know and love! ...in a way. [Shade attempts the suicidal hop, and clutches onto the ceiling] Shade: K, now I'm gonna need some strong punch or something to break this open. SB: I can take a "whack" at it. [S.Bonic goes to Shade, and punches the ceiling open] Shade: C'mon, c'mon! MOVE, before the ****ing plasma gets us! Tail: (covering ears) Yep, Shade's back alright... [the chao hop through the ceiling into an air vent] Chapter 3: Battle in the Control Room [meanwhile, in the control room, Metal and JOE are fighting] MS: Why'd you come back, JOE? [JOE kicks Metal onto the ground] JOE: The same reason most of the Beta Avengers came back... to kill you "newbs!" [Metal hops back up and punches JOE hard] MS: Hey, I've been around longer than YOU have, newb! [JOE hops back up and they fight more] JOE: Don't even try winning, crazy 'bot! There is no point... [JOE harnesses some strange dark energy and releases it all to Metal, who crashes through a wall into the next room] JOE: After all... I'm original. MS: Ugh.... are you..... call....i...n..g..... me.... bzzzzzrt.... unoriginal? JOE: If the shoe fits... MS: I see.... kkkkkk.... well, this shoe doesn't fit, but... [Metal jumps back up, grabs JOE, and kicks him right into some plasma] MS: ...it hurts! [JOE floats back up (like Silver) and hurls some lab equipment at Metal] JOE: You're messing with the wrong Beta Avenger... it is recommended that you just **** off! [Metal dodges them, and launches a full-throttle strike with his claws] MS: You're gonna wish you never said that! [Metal chases after JOE as he ricochets off walls, and continues to strike] JOE: (hits wall) Ugh... (Metal hits) back off.... (hits wall) before I... (Metal hits) go Carpainter... (hits wall, goes through) on you... [JOE is left lying for a few seconds, then rises into the air and fires a bolt of lightning at Metal, which does massive damage] JOE: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! [Metal is about to fall into the plasma when some of the chao save him] MS: Ow.... (opens eye) ...wha? Tail: It's not easy to say this, Metal, but... you've helped us quite a bit recently. [the chao help him onto his feet] Shade: We just thought we'd return the favor. MS: You shrimps... you actually saved me? And after all I've done to you... Shade: Don't mention it. --the stuff you've done, I mean. MS: ...thanks. Dark: No prob. Just go out there and win this fight! JOE: Awww.... does widdow baby want his widdow chao to see him die? Okay... [Metal jabs his claws *DEEP* into JOE's skin, then quickly punches him hard, sending JOE flying through ANOTHER wall, out onto the grass outside] JOE: Beaten by a robot? How can this be? (Note: Ignore the swear word in the following line, it was put there to make it sound good) MS: Don't forget, dumbo, I'm more than a robot. I'm THE Metal Sonic. "Kickin' Yo Ass Since 1993!" JOE: I see... Metal Sonic. HYPER... Metal Sonic. But... can you beat the security systems of my factory? All: Security systems? Wha... Factory CPU: Atomic self-destruct systems activated. Blast radius-- 9,000 miles. Evacuate now. 10 minutes and counting. All: ....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!? MS: NINE THOUSAND MILES!? That'll turn this entire planet into rubble! JOE: Hahahaha... MUAHAHAHAHA*HACK**WHEEZE* oh the pain... [24-style again, countdown- 10:00 and counting] [top-left is Shade] [top-right is Chao] [bottom-left is Metal] [bottom-right is JOE] CPU: 56... 55.... 54... 53... All: KUH-RAAAAAAP. Shade: Big crap. Chapter 4: The Door That Never Opens [everyone runs around, screaming] Honey: We've gotta do something! NOW! DH: There ain't no way to stop a ticking time bomb! [Shade stops running] Shade: ....or IS there? [the others stop, except Dark, who runs into Shade] Dark: Sorry. Shade: Guys, I know what we have to do. It's risky, but it might work. We need some pliers, and the Official Dark Chao Handbook Vol. 2: "Bigger Things." He: I have them. [everyone stares at He] He: What? Shade: (opens book, skims through, stops on page) Ah-ha! "How to stop a ticking time bomb from blowing a planet to smithereens." Let's see... "Cut the (smudge) wire." BIGGER crap, the color's smudged out! MS: *sigh* Lemme look at it. Morons. [Metal looks] MS: That's not a smudge... IDIOT. That's "Smithy Beige!" Allchao: 'Smithy Beige'? MS: It's a form of grey that's based on the final boss from Mario RPG. [the chao are still confused] MS: Gimme those pliers! (snatches pliers) "In order to get to the bomb, one must find the 'Oif-Bown' passage, located in Chao Talk. This is located in the original Office of Death, behind an unopenable door leading to the stars." ...WTF? JOE: Yeah, I *cough* *wheeze* placed it in the furthest corners of the 'Oif-Bown' passage. You'll never get there... especially not in under 10 minutes. Shade: Wait... what exactly *is* the Oif-Bown passage? JOE: You'll see when you get there... *hack* [they dash to Chao Talk, enter the original (second half) Office of Death, and find the unopenable door] [the door looks normal, besides a huge crack at the bottom depicting stars] Stalh: How do we open an unopenable door, anyway? MS: Easy. With force! [Metal busts the door open, and they go in] [they're falling through unknown] Dark: I WANT MY MOMMY! MS: Eh, shaddup, ya crybaby. [everyone falls asleep] [cut to Shade, he wakes up because of a huge CRASH, and finds himself in a 90's US home] Shade: *yawn* What a dream. I wonder what that crash was. Better go check on my sister, see if she's okay. If it's anything bad, I'll borrow her cracked bat and go find out what it is. [Shade enters the hallway, and enters a door, leading to a teenager's bedroom] Sister: Oh, hey Shade. Did that crash wake you up? Shade: Yeah. Hey, can I borrow your cracked bat? I wanna check out what it is. Sister: Sure. It's over there. Shade: Thanks, Tracy. [Shade grabs the cracked bat, and proceeds downstairs, heads outside, and proceeds up a mountain path] Shade: Hey, a Policeman! Maybe he knows what that crash was. Police: What are you doing up this late? You should be in bed! Shade: The crash woke me up. What was it? Police: I dunno, but I heard it's some kinda meteor that crashed on top of the hill. Shade: Uh-oh. Better check it out. [Shade proceeds up, and finds a fat kid bothering some officers] Fat kid: Shade, don't be rubberneckin'! You're gettin' in the cops'-- I mean officers' way! Go home, go to bed, and I, Pokey, will tell you about it in the morning. Shade: *yawn* Good idea. G'night, Pokey. Pokey: Yuh-huh. [Shade returns home, climbs into bed, and is about to go to sleep when he blurts out] Shade: BLOODY DARK GARDEN, I'M IN EARTHBOUND!