[a clip of the end of the previous episode is on a blue screen] MM: *yawn* JOE: Are you tired, sir? MM: Yeah, I'm getting sick of waiting 'till the weekend for the next episode... JOE: Hey, at least DJay finishes these. [some random Ice Cap (Sonic 3) remix slowly fades in] MM: ...soon, I'll make sure he finishes them even sooner... [the two laugh as the theme continues] Dark Chao Adventures [a clip of Shade swim-racing against Chao (Episode 1) as the word "Shade" appears in big letters] Shade: (Voice-over from another scene in E1) I think I can do it. [a clip of Dark at EBGames buying Sonic R (Episode 5) as the word "Dark"... you know] Dark: (VA other scene E5) Dark Kills All Hero Chao 2? [Chao dancing terribly (Episode 9) and the works] Chao: (VA yaddayadda) Let's see you dance, dork! [Tail running to the Tails Doll (Episode 13) ...] Tail: (VA ...) Ooh! A Tails Doll! [Metal Sonic playing poker (Episode 6) ...] MS: (you know) And I need a pathetic mortal as a slave for eternity! [Mephiles speaking to the Darks (Episode 10) ...] Mp: (VA) I am Mephiles. And I have a proposition to make to you. [the others quickly flash on to the screen, the mix ends dramatically] SEASON 5- Sure, It's Not Epic, But At Least It's Back To Its Roots! Episode 38: Remembering the Battles... [the story begins in the Hero Garden, knocking is heard at the gate] Chapter 1: An Unwelcome "Hey, How Are You?" Chao: I'll get it! [Chao opens the gate to see Shade] Chao: SHADE! What are you doing here? Shade: Calm down, I'm just here to chat a little. Chao: Nice try, but you can't make me forget all that you've done! Shade: You see, that's it. I want to talk about what it is, exactly, that I have done. Chao: Oh, you're finally gonna apologize? Go ahead. Shade: ...no, I really mean it. I can't remember a THING about what I've done. Chao: WHAT!? I'm gonna have to gather everyone around, this is going to be fun. [later, in the Chao Lobby, the chao are gathered in a circle, sitting on the ground] Chao: So, I called you all here today to discuss something we don't normally discuss-- the past. Shade: Yeah. We just want to talk about it, no actual point to this meeting. Chao: Now, what shall we talk about first? [Dark raises his hand] Chao: Dark? Dark: The great stake-out! Chao: Ah, yes, the great stake-out. The one where Shade played dress-up and lost to me in a swimming race? Dark: No, the one where Shade disguised himself and successfully accomplished his aquatic movement dual with you. Chao: C'mon, that's not how it happened! Tail: Hey, I think I remember this... I'm pretty sure it went like this... [cut to the Hero Garden- a poorly disguised Shade enters] Tail: Hello! How are you, incredibly fine sir? Shade: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU. GO AWAY. Speedy: What's happening? Shade: YOU SUCK. SUCK HARD. SUCK SUCK SUCK. Speedy: ..why are you saying these mean things? Shade: HEROES SUCK. SUCK SUCK SUCK. SUCK REAL HARD. DARKS RULE. Tail: Please stop... Shade: YOU ALL SUCK. SUCK SUCK SUCK. SUCK VERY VERY HARD. DARKS ARE THE BEST. [enter Knuckle, much younger] K: Listen, 'buddy,' I don't like what I'm hearing! Shade: Oh, I'm sorry... I meant to say **** YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! K: I'M DEAF! Shade: YOU ALL ****! **** **** ****! **** HARD! DARKS RULE. Heroes: Help us! How can we survive? Chao: STOP, FOUL DARK! Do you think you're so tough? Well, think again! [Chao splashes water on Shade] Shade: AAAAAHHHH!!! HELP ME! IT BURNS! HAHAHA! You think I'm afraid of WATER? I can beat you in a swimming race! Chao: We'll see about that! [they race in the pool, Chao wins] Shade: NO! HOW ON EARTH COULD I LOSE? I AM THE WINNER OF EVERYTHING! I CAN'T LOSE! [Shade jumps off a cliff, Chao gets a margarita] RealShade: Hold on a second, HOLD ON ONE SECOND... [cut back to the lobby] Shade: How was that even remotely believable? Tail: Well, you don't remember what happened, so you can't talk. Shade: Oh, I think I remember. And HERE'S how it REALLY happened... [cut to Hero Garden, Shade is narrating] ShadeN: The Hero Garden... a large, desolate place where everyone dies. RealChao: What? ShadeN: As you can see in this full-fledged autographed photograph [Shade holds up a picture some heavy goth person drew of Hell], the Hero Garden is NOT a nice place. [the Darks whimper as the Heroes sigh and scoff] ShadeN: I had just finished saving the world from a humongus nightmare-beast that escaped from Luigi's drug-filled brain when I realized that the Dark Garden was about to be EATEN! ...by the Hero Garden! Chapter 2: A Load of Bull-Sheep [cut to the Dark Garden] Dark: Shade, Shade, please! I know you just got back from defeating the nightmare-beast... and you're currently teaching hot alien babes to love... but, please, I beg of you, save us from the Hero Garden! Shade: Hmmm..... okay. (to "hot alien babe") I'll be back... with big guns. [Shade runs (action movie-style) down a trap-filled Chao Lobby and up stairs that fall as soon as he steps on them] Shade: If I'm gonna get into that horrible place, I'm gonna need a disguise... [cut to the Hero Garden, Shade busts in wearing a Hero Chao disguise (a sign on the back reads "Terrifying Creature")] Shade: I'm in! [mutated, demon forms of the Heroes come at Shade, who (action movie-style) fights back and wins] Shade: I survived, but I only have 1 HP left. I'm gonna have to last on my last life, with no continues, and no Med-Paks anywhere in sight... [a screech is heard, Shade looks and sees a giant Chao/Demon waist-deep in magma] Shade: Well, well, it looks like the unbelievably-hard, lotsa-HP, crazy-damage final boss... will I make it out alive? [Chao throws a giant lava ball, and Shade does a backflip straight into it] Shade: UGH! ...I'm... dying.... wait, what's that? The power of the Darks... entering me... giving me... power... RealChao: Okay, okay, enough of this! This is ridiculous! [cut back to the lobby] Chao: Shade, that was the biggest pile of bullsheep I've ever heard! I mean, it's not even-- Dark: "Bull-sheep"? [pause, everyone laughs] Chao: Whoa, didn't mean to say that... heh... meant to say the actual thing... PF: Hey, don't stop! I wanna hear some more Chao Garden history! Shade: Oh... all right, who has a suggestion? ?: I do. Me: Hey, Chaosky, I was wondering where you went. Chy: I went on a long walk through the woods. No thanks to YOU, "all-powerful narrator." Me: Hey, this is DCA, not Sonic & Pals. Chy: Anyway, I have a suggestion. What about the day Dark released a curse onto himself, and the Poker Gang first made their appearance? Dark: Which one? Chy: ...Episode 5. Chao: Chaosky, *nervous laugh* (quietly) eat your salad. Chy: But... we're not eating. Chao: Then just be quiet and read your script. Dark: Oh, yeah... that one. I remember that! Red: Hey, I wanna tell the story. See, here's how it all happened... [cut to the Dark Garden] RedN: Life, and DJay's script knowledge, were simpler then, and promises to defeat the opposing gardens were often made... RealShade: Red, are you... CONCERNED... about something? RedN: What? O-oh, uh... sorry. Anyway, I had just moved to the gardens before I met Shade. [Shadow (chao) greets Devilish] Shadow: Good day, sir... RealChao: Hey, hold up! I thought Shadow didn't speak full English back then! Me: Uh... *a-hem* according to the DCASF agreement, 40-odd paragraph, subsection J, "Shadow grew up over the course of the war's early years (DCRPG), thus his lines throughout the first couple seasons are null and void. To be corrected later by DJay--" ---um, uh, the rest is all... business stuff, strictly speaking, of course. RedN: *cough* Hello? RealChao: Oh, sorry. Continue. RedN: Thank you. Shadow: ...are you a newborn? Red: No, I was raised in the Fark Forest. Shadow: You... you mean 'DARK' Forest, right? Red: No, I mean-- Me: Devilish, may I have a private word with you? Come here. RedN: Uh... sure. [pause... CLAMP! BONK! SMACK! BOOM!] RedN: *hack* Um, uh... sorry, that was... uh... let me continue. Red: No, I mean... uh... yeah, that was a typo. Shadow: I see. Well, come, you must meet Lord Shade. Chapter 3: Tales From the Planet [Shadow takes Devilish to Shade] Shadow: Sir? Shade: Not now, Shadow, Dark's gone to EBGames, and I'm thinking of a good way to get him. Shadow: But, sir, we have a new chao. Shade: Oh, a new chao? [they greet] Shade: So, Devilish, what do you know of pranks? Red: Well... I know how to scare people really good. Shade: Sweet. Come on, let's prank Dark when he gets back! RedN: And.. that's pretty much all you guys need to know. [cut to the lobby] Chao: Hmm... hey, I seem to remember that. Wasn't that when Dark kidnapped me? Dark: When I what? Chao: Uh... never mind. Say, Purflee, why don't you tell us some stories from when you and Luis were in your home? Shade: Hey, hold on... DJay, wasn't this eppy supposed to be an Akira Kurosawa-based one? Me: People, I gave you scripts for a REASON, you know! They're for READING! Dark: But I can't read. Me: That's why I got you that listening tape, remember? It's for listening! Shade: Could you just answer my question? Me: *sigh* Okay, but this is the last one. The answer is 'Yes, but I got bored.' THAT'S IT. PF: ...moving on, yes, we have ONE tale that we agreed to tell ANYONE who asked. LGS: It's a good one. [cut to a village in Chao World] PFN: This was when me and 'Louie' were really young and wild. LGSN: We were toddlers. PFN: Shut up! *smacks Elgee* We lived in Yinch, a village a few villages away from the town next to the village next to the city next to the suburb of the city next to the megalopolis next to the village next to the Cave of Skulls. LGSN: Of course, there were at least a billion more villages in between, but we digress... [cut to young Elgee and Purf, walking around the dirt paths of the village] PFN: So, we were walkin' along, all cool like, when suddenly this guy walks up to us and starts touching us in-- Sonic: 'Scuse me, guys. [cut to the lobby, the chao split the circle to let Sonic pass through] Sonic: Thanks. [Sonic leaves, and they form the circle again] PFN: ...in the wrong places. RealSonic: Hey, HOLD UP! Are you guys talking about a chao moles-- RealShade: Go away. RealChao: No, Uncle Sonic, we weren't. We were talking about... uh... RealDark: NINTENDO! RealSonic: ...Nintendo? RealDark: Touching is good... RealSonic: Oh, the DS. Good. I'll go now. PEN: ...anyway, the guy wanted me to-- Elgee, what's so funny? LGSN: Your name. PEN: << ...DJay... Me: Sorry, I just had to. ESPN: It was still pretty funny. PFN: Elgee, look at YOUR name! *laugh* ESPN: Huh? <<; ...DJAY! Me: Okay, okay, I'm done. Continue. PFN: FORGET IT! There are just too many interruptions! [cut to the lobby, the others agree and leave, grumbling] Me: ...Sweet, this means I can give the epilogue! Chapter 4: Episode 39 Foreshadowing Sequence Activation Me: Before I do, however, I would like to say... I am going to REALLY go back to my roots. ...well, MINE, at least. I am going back to being the narrator! So, "Me" is the Narrator, and "DJ" will be when they break the fourth wall. [cut to the chao in their gardens, in the late evening, starting to sleep] Me: As you can see here, the chao are all peacefully sleeping. Sleep tight, y'all. ...You're gonna need it. [screen gets darker] Me: For alas, while the others have a rather normal day tomorrow... Shade will not. Allow me to tell you a tidbit... [camera pan of an unknown, gigantic building in what appears to be Europe] Me: Shade will wake up... and he won't be expecting it. [cut to the Hero Garden] Me: I know you think Shade is really becoming the one character whom everything happens to... and he is. [screen gets darker] Me: For now. [pause] Me: I have big... shall we say... PLANS in store for the future of DCA... and all will be revealed. [pause] Me: Now for the bad news. [screen slightly gets darker] Me: Season 6... it may or may not be as good as you think. It WILL be big, yes, but due to me being human, it may not be... TOO big, y'know? [and darker] Me: Currently, you folks who read this are probably wondering "Where's the actual preview to the next episode?" Well... this is it. ..and more. [and darker, but you can just about see the garden] Me: Still... these chao better sleep tight. [a shadow of Echo is just about seen] Me: They're gonna need it.