DCAtendo Gorilla Inc DARK CHAO BOUND [picture of Shade and Dark trying to drive a UFO, but it crashed into a building] "The Attack on Pokey!" Dark Chao Adventures Season 4. Interesting. Deadly. Funny. Weird. Crazy. Episode 31: Let's Go to Fourside! [the story begins as Shade is lying in bed, when the door bell rings] Shade: Oh, great, NOW what? [Shade heads down the stairs and opens the door] Shade: Oh... hey, Pokey. [it's a fat, blonde kid] Pokey: Shade, HELP! My brother, Picky, and I were checking out the meteorite when he got lost! So, I came to you. Shade: *sigh* All right, where did you see him last? ...tubby... Pokey: C'mon, I'll show you! [they head up the mountain-hill thing and at the top, a thin, blonde kid is sitting under a tree] Shade: Hey, Picky. What are you doing here? Picky: Pokey and I were checking out the meteorite when Pokey got scared and ran off. Shade: (sarcastically) Gee, I wonder who is telling the truth... [they start to head back when the meteor shines brightly] ?: .......... Shade, is that you? [a tiny fly flies out of the meteor] BB: I am Buzz-Buzz. You must be Sha-- [Shade had already run off in fear] BB: .... okay, so Shade ran off scared. I'll just go back into my meteor and wait for some other kid to come by. [meanwhile, Shade is running as fast as he can, and smacks into a sign that reads...] Chapter 1: Welcome to Onett! Shade: Ugh.... oof... [Shade notices that it's the morning] Shade: Oh, the sun is rising... I've been up all night and haven't got any sleep! [a nearby man sees Shade] Man: Oh, are you alright? You look so desperate. Are you okay? Shade: Yeah, yeah, I'm FINE! [Shade walks into town, while someone else goes to the man] Other person: Hello! Man: Oh, are you alright? You look so desperate. Are you okay? [cut to Shade, who is in town, and finds some thugs] Thug1: Oi! Look at da widdle kid! Shade: Um, actually, I'm a full-grown Dark chao, believe it or not. Thug2: Liz git da widdle punk! [Shade kicks the thugs in the shins] [the thugs are kneeling down in pain] Shade: Ooh, cool! An arcade! [Shade enters the arcade and finds more thugs, who chase him into the backyard of the arcade] Shade: Oh, good, there's someone here! Excuse me, sir, you have to help me! Dark: Shade, it's me. Shade: DARK! [they hug quickly] Dark: Need a hand, pal? Shade: (notices thugs) ...yeah. [the two fight off the thugs one by one] Random person: You two stopped the thugs! You should go see the Mayor. He should hear about this. [meanwhile, Honey wakes up in a small town] Honey: *yawn* .... Hey, where am I? [some people notice her and scream, and "cops" come] Honey: Please, officers, I promise I won't do whatever it is I did again! Please, don't hurt me, great-- Ku Klux Clan? Member: This weird thing is not blue! She needs to be blue! Honey: No, no, I'm fine with my color. Member2: Take her to Mr. Carpainter! Honey: What the Dark Garden is going on here? [she is taken (eventually) to a log cabin in the mountains, and is locked inside] Honey: HELP ME! [back with Shade, he is being chased by a humongus ant] Shade: I BLAME YOU, DARK! AAAAAHHHHH! Dark: Please don't eat me, great ant! I promise I won't eat you guys again! [cut to Quartz, who wakes up in the middle of a graveyard] Q: *stretch* Ah, what a glorious day! --What the? [zombies rise out of the graves and proceed towards Quartz] Q: What the!? HELP! HELP! HELP! [cut back to Shade and Dark, who are walking down a small path towards who-knows-where] Dark: So, now that we found Dark-Hawk, what are we doing next? Shade: *sigh* I can't believe I'm saying this, Dark, but... [close-up on Shade's face] Shade: We're gonna have to save all our, uh... "friends" and beat EarthBound in now less than... 8 minutes! [Dark and Dark-Hawk gasp] Shade: Luckily, if we keep going at this pace, we'll do that with 4 minutes to spare! [24-style countdown- 8:00] [the top-left is Shade, Dark, and Dark-Hawk walking down the path] [the top-right is a map of Twoson with spots marked for where chao are] [the bottom-left is a map of Threed with... yeah] [the bottom-right is a map of Fourside with the works] JOE: (voice-over) Hahahaha... MUAHAHAHAHA*HACK**WHEEZE* oh the pain... [the "heroes" enter another town, and instantly, Dark is run over by a large car] DH: DARK! Are you alright? Dark: *cough* ...save me, mommy.... save me from the Runaway Five... Shade: Yep, he's fine. [the camera zooms in on the text written on the car, which reads...] Chapter 2: Twoson Pest Control [after a few minutes of looking, the three find a large park, and find a hobo] Hobo: Hello. I am Everdred! And, I have this little chao locked away in my house! [the chao look at each other, disgusted] Everdred: The only way you can enter my house is to beat me! [the chao walk past him, and Shade kicks him in the shin] Shade: Can it, dirtbag. [they enter the house anyway and rescue quite a number of chao just by opening the door] Dark: One, two, three, four... okay, we rescued all the minor characters. Knuckle: HEY! Dark: ...But where are the others? Everdred: Ooooo.... there was a group of Hero Chao who entered the Happy Happy Village to the East... Hero: Let's go. [they hurry to the East, and come across a large valley] K: LOOK! A giant pencil! [Dark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a giant eraser] [the chao all have confused looks on their faces as Dark erases the pencil] Dark: ...What? We're in EarthBound. Things are SUPPOSED to be weird. [past the valley, they all find a weird little blue town called 'Happy Happy Village'] Woman: Excuse me, travelers! Would you please donate to our Happy Happy Cult? Shade: ......buzz off, freak. Woman: THEN YOU SHALL BE CAST INTO THE DEPTHS OF HELL! Shade: Hey, we're already there. [the woman has a fixed expression on her face as the chao walk past her] DH: Say, that looks like an interesting building, let's go there! [they enter it, and find tons of blue versions of the Ku Klux Clan] Dark: Shall I? Shade: Go for it. [Dark farts really loudly, and everyone (except the chao, who are used to it) passes out] [Shade and Dark give a high-five, and they continue] [up some stairs, they find a weird man worshipping a statue] [Hero opens his mouth, about to say something, when Shade looks at him and shakes his head. Hero ceases to do anything] [the chao quietly exit the building, and forever deny any proof of that event happening] Speedy: So, if the others weren't in there, where WOULD they be? Shade: Let's split up. Me, Dark, and Dark-Hawk will explore the Peaceful Rest Valley, while you guys check those spooky caves. Hero: Doesn't that figure? [with the Darks, they instantly find a log cabin, and Honey is inside] Honey: Oh, I KNEW you guys would come save me! Quick, get me outta here! Dark: Wait, we're supposed to beat Mister Carpainter first, according to the official EarthBound player's guide. Shade: *coughgamegeniecough* [they use Game Genie (cheats) to get Honey out of the cabin] [meanwhile, the Heroes are being chased by a large mole] K: I BLAME YOU, DARK! AAAAAHHHHH!!! [24-style, 7:00] [top-left, the darks are preparing Game Genie for a big cheat code] [top-right, the Heroes are successful against the mole, and rescue Buddy, Phantom, and S.Bonic] [bottom-left, a map of Threed, yaddya] [bottom-left... you know the drill] JOE: (VA) You'll see when you get there... *hack* [the Darks activate the master cheat, and gain all "party members" (chao), get to level 99 everyone, and unlock all areas] Shade: Let's do this thing! [the chao all group together and get on the bus and ride it all the way to Fourside] Shade: Sweet, I've always wanted to go to Fourside! Big skyscrapers, huge... skyscrapers.... [they get off the bus, and they all get hit by a UFO, and are carried over to Summers, fall off the UFO, and smack into a sign that reads...] Chapter 3: You're Almost There! (...so buy a chocolate bar!) Dark: Whew... Summers is hot. Shade: Say, wait a minute... where's Quartz? [cut to Quartz, who is being chases by zombies] Q: I BLAME YOU, DARK! AAAAAHHHHH!!! [back to the others] Shade: Oh, well. We gotta focus on getting outta here! How long do we have left? Chao: *sigh* ...6:30. Shade: Phew! Chao: Wait a minute, this is a watch! Shade: WHAT THE!? How much time do we REALLY have left? [24-style clock appears at the bottom-right, reading 1:00] Shade: NO WAY! It's way more than one minute! [the clock speeds down to 0:30] Shade: WHAT!? [0:04] Shade: HELP! [10:00] Shade: ...? [4040404040:00] [Shade shrugs] SB: Actually, that's not the clock. That's a fake JOE made to fool us. We REALLY have 5 minutes. SShade: And you know this... how? SB: Don't ask. Just listen. Tail: Chaos chao are weird... PF: Not as weird as THIS dump. [they keep on going, and suddenly are hit by ANOTHER UFO, this time a time machine] Shade: NOT AGAIN!!!! I BLAME YOU, DARK! AAAAHHHH!!! [they fall off outside a large cavern] Shade: !!! Could this be...? LGS: Be what, Shade? Shade: It IS! ...The Past Caves! PFI: What? Shade: Guys, the bomb is in HERE. Chao: What are we waiting for, then? Shade: Pokey and Giygas. [the chao all look at Shade like he's an alien] Shade: Never mind. Let's go! [inside, Pokey appears in a large, spider-like machine] Pokey: Buh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-HUH! K: Shut up, punk! [Knuckle picks up the spider machine and tosses it aside, revealing the bomb] ?: Gurgle... chao? Is that you guys? Ph: Metal Sonic? Where have you been? MS: I dunno, but I've been taking the place of Giygas. That fat jerk has been protecting me. Didja find the bomb? Buddy: Well, we hear the ticking, but we can't see-- (realizes where it is) ...uh-oh. MS: What? Buddy: I don't know how to say this, so Dark will soon realize this and blurt it out using a mild swear word. (pardon Dark's 'french') [pause for a few seconds, then Dark realizes] Dark: METAL! The bomb's attached to your ass! MS: What the? (looks at butt) HOLY SHOOT... SShade: Okay, stay calm, Metal. Which wire did you say to cut? MS: The Smithy Beige wire. [he cuts it, and the ticking and the timer clock stop] [also, they are all instantly teleported to outside the factory, where just the factory blows up] Dark: Wow. It's pretty! Chao: Surprisingly. Chapter 4: How To Get Out...? Shade: So... now that Just an Ordinary evil Entity is gone for the taking, how do we get out? He: Don't you remember the legend, Shade? There's a teleporter somewhere here. Stalh: The teleporter leads to a mystical beast, which isn't actually a best, but a demon. ShadeandChao: !!! ...where IS this teleporter? [the other regular chao realize what's going on] Tail: Oh-ho-ho! K: I can't wait to kick me some demon butt. Dark: We gonna get 'em! [after a few hours of searching the outskirts of Chao Talk, they finally find a teleporter] Shade: So, we all know by now who we're gonna see when we exit, right? [the others agree, and they enter the teleporter] [they all wake up in the STR (Space-Time Rip)] Shade: Ah-HA! ...He's not here? MS: Crap. And I wanted me some demon head... [evil laughter is heard nearby, and they all follow the laughter] [the laughter leads to the Dark Garden, where the chao see a Dark Spike Ball Thing behind a grave stone] Speedy: Show yo-self, foo! In da name o' da chao! [the chao steps out, and looks exactly like Shade] [everyone gasps] TO BE CONTINUED... IN THE SEASON FINALE!