[a clip of the end of the previous episode is on a blue screen] MM: What's the report on Metal Speedy? JOE: He informed Shade on the Chaos Drives. MM: Excellent. JOE: What's the next part of our plan? [Dreams of an Absolution LB VS JS Remix slowly fades in] MM: Just press that button, and watch the one called 'Tail.' [JOE presses the button, the two laugh as the theme continues] Dark Chao Adventures [a clip of Shade swim-racing against Chao (Episode 1) as the word "Shade" appears in big letters] Shade: (Voice-over from another scene in E1) I think I can do it. [a clip of Dark at EBGames buying Sonic R (Episode 5) as the word "Dark"... you know] Dark: (VA other scene E5) Dark Kills All Hero Chao 2? [Chao dancing terribly (Episode 9) and the works] Chao: (VA yaddayadda) Let's see you dance, dork! [Tail running to the Tails Doll (Episode 13) ...] Tail: (VA ...) Ooh! A Tails Doll! [Metal Sonic playing poker (Episode 6) ...] MS: (you know) And I need a pathetic mortal as a slave for eternity! [Mephiles speaking to the Darks (Episode 10) ...] Mp: (VA) I am Mephiles. And I have a proposition to make to you. [the others quickly flash on to the screen, the allegro ends dramatically] SEASON 5- Sure, It's Not Epic, But At Least It's Back To Its Roots! Episode 36: Keep It on Que [the story begins in the Hero Garden, Tails is homeschooling Tail] Tails: ...so the female gets this pain around their stomach, and the pain is unbearable. Tail: What IS the pain, Mr. Prower? Tails: It means the baby is ready. [at the moment JOE presses the button, Tail collapses] Tails: TAIL! Are you alright? Tail: Ugh.... yeah, but I think I'm in labor. Oof... Chapter 1: Return of the Smart Monkey [cut to later, the Hero chao (and Tails) are all gathered around Tail] K: It's gonna be all right, Tail... PUSH! [the others stare at Knuckle] K: He said he was in labor! Chao: He was kidding, dumbo. K: Hey! I'm not an elephant! [Chao sighs] Tail: *hack* Ugh... Mister Prower... what's going on...? Tails: I don't know, but we can only fear the worst. Tail: WHAT!? *sheds a tear* Tails: ...Sorry, I was watching War of the Servers earlier today and-- uh... never mind. Forget I said anything. Speedy: Listen to me, Tail... do what I do. Relax. Take a chill pill. Chillax. Be cool. Smoke. [Knuckle punches Speedy] K: Don't encourage him. Tail, do you need me to get anything? Tail: For one thing... ugh.... you can get me an archville. K: Ooh, I can do that! [Knuckle runs out of the Hero Garden] Hero: What's an Archville? Tail: An enemy from DOOM. Hero: Then why'd you send him to get one? Tail: I wanted him to shut up for once. [cut to the Dark Garden, Shade is chasing Dark, holding a dress] [enter Knuckle] K: Shade, do you have an Archville I can borr-- (sees chase scene) ....Oookay. [Devilish walks to Knuckle] [note: To save space, Devilish will be referred to as Red in the dialogue] Red: 'Sup? K: ...What's going-- Red: Shade wants to show a picture of Dark wearing a dress to the others at school. K: ......Sorry I asked. I just came to see if Shade has an Archville. Red: Yeah, I think we have some of--wait, what? K: Archville. Y'know, like in the cartoons? Those things that make people look like accordions? Red: You're thinking of ANVILS. Archvilles are monsters in DOOM. K: Wait, so that means I was sent here for nothing... and saw that weird chase scene for nothing. TAIL! [Knuckle sprints out of the Dark Garden] [zoom-in on Shade trying to force Dark into the dress] Shade: Weirdo. [cut to Knuckle running into the Hero Garden] K: TAIL, you tricked me, and I have proof! See, I brought my laptop! --Whoa. [camera pan on the Hero Garden, showing it on fire and the structures defaced] K: This... this is.... Aqua: ALL TAIL'S FAULT, that's what this is! K: Hey, which Tail are we talking about here? Aqua: Take a wild guess. K: ...OH MY HERO CHAOS, Ninetails came out of the GameChao and is here for revenge for what I said about its mom, isn't it!? Aqua: No, the CHAO Tai--hold on a second. You said what? K: I, uh... kinda made a 'Yo Mama' joke about Ninetails, then I found out they live to have revenge. Aqua: ...Forgetting I heard anything. Anyway, Tail suddenly sprouted an extra tail, looked like Mister Prower, and took off! K: Took off what? Don't tell me he stripped... Aqua: NO! He used his tails to fly! I... I'm confused! K: Hey, where'd Chao and Mr. Prower go to? Aqua: I don't know. Well, I DO know that he grabbed Chao and flew. I'm... not sure where he could've gone, though. K: Oh, no... don't tell me he found my secret Training Island! Aqua: Knuckle, EVERYONE knows where it is. It's down there, just in reach for any chao with wings to get to. K: Whatever. Which way did he fly to? Aqua: West. [Knuckle runs West, but stops at the edge of the garden] Chapter 2: The Dunce Who Couldn't Fly K: *sigh* ...Tail... Chao... I couldn't save you. I failed. Aqua: What's wrong NOW? K: Look at me; do you see huge wings on me? Can I FLY? No, I can't! I failed... greatly. [Aqua quickly runs back, a few seconds later comes back with Hero, Tails, Speedy, Purflee, Elgee, and any other Hero I missed] PF: So, Knuckle, you say you need help flying? Well, me and my sis can help ya! PFI: Yeah, cheer up! K: Face it, there's no way I can fly! [suddenly, Nights comes in] Nights: GUYS, I just heard the news and came as fast as I could! Speedy: What do you care about Knuckle? Nights: Huh? Who? No, I'm talking about how Echo has been spotted flying in these skies! PF: Echo? ...THAT name rings a bell. I'll check it out. Nights: Wait, I'm coming with you! [Purf and Nights take off into the skies, and instantly, Nights falls down like a fly that hit a bug zapper] Hero: Whoa, what happened? Nights: *cough* Echo... *wheeze*... he was RIGHT THERE... and smacked me down. [a loud, piercing screech is heard from above] Nights: Hear that? That's him... *hack* [the Heroes look up and see Purflee flying still in mid-air, staring at Echo nearby] LGS: Wow... Echo looks like a chao! Nights: That's because he IS a chao! While you guys met him as his robot form, he is almost twice as powerful in his chao form! Hero: Hang on, hang on... CHAO FORM? What is this, Gundam? Nights: I'm not sure. All I know is that he appeared out of nowhere in my outpost, and I chased him. Not-In-Chapter-2: A Quick Flashback [cut to Nights in the middle of the Dark Forest, resting] Nights: *yawn* Getting kinda tired. ?: Ugh... I hate those chao... [Nights hops up and looks around] [Echo (robot form) limps into the surroundings] Nights: Who goes there? Echo: Ugh... nobody you wanna know. Nights: Nonsense, in the Dark Forest, it is required I know ALL travelers' names! Echo: Hmm? You say you remember ALL names? Nights: That's what it says in my job description, yes. Echo: Then, you must have a TON of knowledge in that tiny head of yours... right? Nights: I...guess. [Echo starts laughing manically, and slowly approaches Nights, then touches his head with both hands] Nights: Please refrain from touching my cranium! [STRIKE!] Nights: What was that? Ugh... feeling faint... [Nights faints, and Echo is surrounded with purple smoke] Echo: Yes... YES! My powers still work! MUAHAHAHAHA! [the smoke clears as Nights wakes up, he sees a chao baby] Nights: (like a drunk person) Hey... where'd the weird guy go? Echo: Shut up. Tell me, where do you keep your, uh... Chaos Drives? Nights: Oh, you buddy! You... you KNEW I was, uh... not having the pink bunny! Echo: Right, of course, you're still recovering from my abilities. Fine, I'll look for them myself! [Echo searches the outpost and finds a horde of purple Chaos Drives, and absorbs them all] [he is surrounded with purple smoke again] Nights: Whoo... open a window in here, will ya? [the smoke clears, Echo is now a Dark/Fly chao] [a flock of birds fly by, Echo flies up and absorbs them all, smoke surrounds him] Nights: Ugh... what a night! [Nights loses consciousness, the smoke clears, Echo is now a Dark/Fly chao with multiple condor parts] Back to Chapter 2! [cut to Purflee, staring at Echo, who is glaring back] PF: What do you want, Echo? [Echo dives at Purflee, and knocks him down instantly] Echo: Nothing you morons can help with. I need to do the plan by myself. [back on the ground] PF: aaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! (SLAM!) Oof... Hero: You flying chao, focus on getting Echo. However, Purflee... the girl Purflee, come with us and help save Chao! [Tails wakes up] Tails: Ugh... what just happened? Speedy: Tail knocked you clear out of here and got away with Chao. Tails: WHAT!? C'mon, we've gotta follow him! [Tails grabs as many chao as he can and flies in Tail's direction] [later, they reach CPAK, and see Tail inside Room 123 (Tails' room) with Chao] Chapter 3: Nightmares To Be Unleashed Tail: Eh? You juvenile imbeciles again... Tails: Tail, listen to me! Try to calm down! It's gonna be okay! Tail: SILENCE! I have no need for your petty speeches! I am not a baby, I AM TAIL, THE EVIL DICTATOR FROM BEYOND PLANET DOOKY! K: For an evil dicator, you sure have one crappy name. Tail: I shall strikest thou lips, utter SWINE! [Tail's tails extend and slash Knuckle's lips, then return to their normal size] K: OW!!! (cry) That... that HURRRRRRRRT! Tail: Tsk... pathetic. [Knuckle runs to Tails, who comforts him] Tails: Now, now, don't worry, Knuckle... he didn't mean it. It was just Mephiles' evil doings taking control of his body again. Hero: What do you want? Tail: All that I desire is for this infernal contraption you refer to as a 'school' be demolished, in place of the NEW Character Garden! Tails: Forget it! We're not tearing down this wonderful establishment, no matter how big-headed you get! Tail: I see. Then, I'm afraid I have no choice but to completely bring your nightmares to good use. Quartz: I do NOT like where this is going. Honey: Come on, Quartz, what could he do? Tail: (slyly) I was expecting that, Honey. I was. Of course... smart minds think alike. Honey: So, what WILL you do? Tail: I will just have to convert your friend Chao here into a minion of mine! Tails: *a-hem* Not only is that theoretically IMPOSSIBLE; it sounds like a load of crock. Tail: You think EVERYTHING has to be theoretically correct just for it to work? Typcial conformist behavior, Mister Prower. [Tail makes a clone of Shade (if Mephiles can do it, so can he)] Tail: Allow me to demonstrate how this effect, which I codenamed the "Tail Convertional Conversation", works. First, my dictatorial tails go to work and wrap around the Shade... [they do] Tail: They SQUEEZE... [they do] Tail: And release... [they do, and go back to normal size] Tail: ...giving this Shade clone a green sphere instead of a purple spike. This means he works for ME now. [the others watch in fear as Tail continues to explain] Tail: This happens because my tails have a special chemical in them, causing a chemical reaction in the chao body that enhances certain hormones, making the chao grow up faster, but with ALL-NEW chemicals--mine-- rushing through them. Any questions? K: Yeah, I have a question. Tail: Go ahead, Knuckle. K: How do your tails do that grow-y, shrink-y thing? Tail: Ah, good question. It is because of the powers of Mephiles' demon genes in me, which are what are slightly altered to make my all-new ones, thus allowing... [as Tail explains this, Knuckle winks at Speedy, making him run off to the Stardust Eggman] [cut to the Stardust Eggman] TD: See, Metal, fire CAN make robots fart! MS: Hm, yeah, I see, but can you do the same with cigar smoke? [Speedy dashes in] Speedy: I NEED MEPHILES! Can someone take me to him? MS: Uh... I'm pretty sure it's Mecha's turn. MK: ME? But I did it LAST time! TD: No, Metal did! Moron. MK: *grumble* FINE. [Mecha takes Speedy to the STR (Space/Time Rip, in case you forgot)] Speedy: MEPHILES! Mp: *yawn* What? Speedy: Tail is an evil dictator again! Mp: Crap. Listen, there's only one way to stop him NOW. And I'll have to do it. Chapter 4: Beating Tail by the Dozens [back at CPAK, Tail is finishing the explanation when Mephy and Speedy come in] Mp: Tail, I heard the bad news about your mother... Tail: *sigh* ...WHAT bad news? Mp: You kiddin'? Boi, yo mama IS DA BAD NEWZ! theHeroes: OOOOOOOOHHHHH! Tail: Grr... well, Yo mama so old, her social security number is four. Mp: Yo mama so fat, she has other fat mamas orbiting her. Tail: Yo mama so fat, helicopters try landing on her whenever she wears a Malcom X t-shirt. Mp: Yo mama so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil. Tail: Yo mama so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts. Mp: Yo mama so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters. Tail: Yo mama so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747. Mp: Yo mama so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four. Tail: Yo mama so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay." Mp: Yo mama so fat, she has her own area code. Tail: Yo mama so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Mp: Yo mama so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. Tail: Yo mama so fat, she wakes up in sections. Mp: Yo mama so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs. Tail: Yo mama so fat, her shadow weighs fifty pounds. Mp: Yo mama so fat, When she dances, the radio skips. Tail: Yo mama so fat, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints. Mp: Yo mama so fat, when she got flesh-eating bacteria, the doctor still gave her 5 years to live. Tail: Yo mama so fat, when she joined a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. Mp: Yo mama so fat, her belly button's got an echo. Tail: Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a pad. Mp: Yo mama so ugly, they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower. Tail: Yo mama so ugly, she went to the haunted house and came out with a paycheck. Mp: Yo mama so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym. Tail: Yo mama so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries. Mp: Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry. Tail: Yo mama so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty. Mp: Yo mama so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Tail: Yo mama so ugly, when she went to a strip bar, people paid her to put her clothes back on. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dunkin Donuts to see Michael Jordan get some coffee. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch. Mp: Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, she stole free bread. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot out. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get change. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample. Tail: Yo mama so stupid, she has to go to college to work at Wal-Mart. Mp: Yo mama so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl. Tail: Yo mama so poor, she can't afford to pay attention. Mp: Yo mama so poor, when she went to McDonald's, she had to put a happy meal on layaway. Tail: Yo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail. Mp: Yo mama got such hairy armpits, I thought she had Buckwheat in a headlock. Tail: Yo mama.... uh.... well, she... uh... Mp: Face it, you lost. Quartz: Foo'! Tail: Curses... beaten in the lowest of contests... how is this possible? I'm the smartest... Mp: Yeah, you're just about as smart as yo mama, and we already explained how smart THAT is! Tail: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [Tail becomes his normal self again, and everything goes back to normal] Chapter 5: It's the Ending. ...That's It. Tail: Chao, I'm sorry I captured you, and almost turned you into a mind-zombie. Chao: That's okay, Tail. I know you didn't mean it. Tail: Thanks... Chao: Just like I didn't mean to do that thing to yo mama! OHHHHHHH! END!