[Invader Zim theme playing, for those who have no idea what that is, Dark Garden theme playing] Just last night, me and my friends went to sleep like we normally do, awaiting our next big day. Bad idea. It turns out, the evil demon named Mephiles had sent us straight to a faraway planet! We managed to regroup and explore a humongus, haunted, deranged, insane city named Chao Talk. Many deaths and respawns later, we escaped the hellish corridors of Chao Talk and found a factory. This factory was ruled by a foul menace going by Just an Ordinary evil Entity, or JOE. JOE forced us to work hard and try to stop a ticking ten minute time bomb, locked away in the deepest corners of EarthBound. Recently, we disarmed the bomb, defeated JOE, and escaped the planet. However, we returned home to find an oddity-- an exact clone of the lord of the Dark Garden! My name is Shade, and this is utter chaos. When will it end!? Yes. My name is Shade. I am THAT Shade. The one who's been around since the beginning of all this. My name is Shade, and I have a dream! That dream... is to-- Chao: --To just start this Episode already? Dark: SLEDGEHAMMER! Shade: 0.0 ...Please tell me Dark did not just... Chao: Yes, he did. Shade: WHAT IS WITH YOU AND PETER GABRIEL, DARK!? Dark: What? Shade: I mean, wasn't Genesis enough? Do you now have to sing anything Peter Gabriel did? Dark: ...Yes. Shade: All right. Sing "Fly on a Windsheild." Dark: Okay! (deep breath) --wait a minute... Shade: Let's begin! Dark Chao Adventures Season 4. Interesting. Deadly. Funny. Weird. Crazy. Episode 32: Attack on the Clones [the season finale begins in the Dark Garden, the dark chao had found a clone of Shade] Chapter 1: The Start of a New Era...? Shade: Just, PLEASE, Dark, don't start singing Sledgehammer. Dark: I'm gonna! Shade: No, please-- Dark: I'm aboutta! Shade: Please, Dark-- Dark: (singing) You-- Shade: SHUT UP! NO! DON'T SING! Dark: ...You didn't have to YELL. Shade: Wait, what about the clone? Dark: --Yeah, what about him? Clone: Good day, sirs. The name is Tint. Shade: (face-palm) Dear Hero Chaos, no... Devilish: What is it, Shade? Shade: *sigh* ...Didn't you pay attention to Mr. Prower during Art class? Devilish: Heh, no. I never pay attention in school. EVER. Shade: To 'shade' something is to give it a darker 'shade.' Make it darker. Devilish: 'Kay. Shade: And to 'tint' something is to give it a brighter shade. Make it lighter. Devilish: And...? Shade: 'Shade' and 'Tint' are opposites. I have been fearing this day for SO LONG. SShade: Wait, does that mean he's MY opposite, too? Shade: You betcha. SShade: Well, he doesn't seem THAT bad. Shade: That's the point. He's not SUPPOSED to. He's supposed to seem GOOD. SShade: OH! Right, with us being Dark Chao and all that... right. Tint: Is there something wrong? Shade: Uh... Tint... where are you from, exactly? Tint: I do not know. All I know is that my best friend, Light, is coming soon. DH: Say, uh... do you know of someone named "Light-Hawk," by any chance? Tint: Sure do. He's coming, as well. DH: NO! PLEASE, THIS IS TOO HORRIFYING! (sob) Shade: But, do you know anything of where you're from? Tint: Um... now that you mention it, I do. It's this huge, white place. It's hard to see anything. Shade: That explains it. C'mon, guys, let's go find the stupid Heroes and go see ol' Mephy. [they head to the Heroes] PF: Hey, guys, and welcome to Heaven! Shade: ....Yeah, well, I've been here before. It's not THAT great, Purf. PF: ...I know. I mean, these weird freeloaders are here, acting like they own the place. [the Darks become interested] SShade: Um... does one of these "freeloaders" happen to be called... "Villain?" Or... "Slowmo?" PF: Yeah. How'd you know? SShade: Amazing! Exact opposites of everyone are coming to the gardens... Shade: This isn't good. Say, where's Quartz? [cut to Quartz, who is STILL being chased by zombies] Q: C'MON, GUYS, DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME!? ALSO, I BLAME DARK! AAAAHHHHH!!! [back to the chao] Dark: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! I got an idea! Shade: What is it, Dark? Dark: Let's interrogate the clones, CONKA' STYLE! Shade: Dark, this may be your BEST. IDEA. YET. SShade: Dark, now you've gone and done it... [Shade runs through the Hero Garden carrying a frying pan, a bottle of helium, and a huge keg of beer] Shade: ATTACK! Villain: Yo. What are you gonna do with a FRYING PAN, huh? [Shade whacks Villain, who doesn't even flinch] Villain: HA! A FRYING PAN!? Heh... did you REALLY think that would work on me? Shade: Bye-bye. [Villain was standing near the edge of the garden, and as he was laughing, fell off] Shadow(chao): Uh... where'd the invisible wall go? Shade: ...Good question. C'mon, I think I know what'll happen if we kill twelve of these guys! [Shade runs up to Slowmo (Speedy clone)] Slowmo: Wait for me, guys... I can't run away from this madman! [Shade fills Slowmo with helium, and he runs around very fast] Slowmo: (hyper) WOWthankyouyouhavemademeveryfastandagilebutwhatdoesheliumdo? [Slowmo floats upwards into oblivion] [Shade runs towards Butt (Tail clone)] Butt: What do you want, punk? Shade: Here, have a round. On me! Butt: Say, thanks, loser. Maybe you ain't so bad. [Butt takes the keg of beer, drinks it, and blows up] Shade: Thank you, grenades hidden in beer. ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY MORE CLONES WANNA STEP UP!? [no response, the clones simply killed themselves in fear] ?: Okay, now, just WHAT did you just do, FOOL? Chapter 2: More YouTube References! [Mephiles entered the Hero Garden] Mp: Seriously, where did all my awesome clones go? ANSWER ME, FOOL! Shade: I killed 'em all. Mp: You little #*@%! [Mephiles grabs Shade, slams him into the ground multiple times, and then dunks him into the pool for a minute] Mp: YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT, PUNK? YOU LIKE THAT? THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, FOOL! Shade: Blublublub! [eventually, Shade stops moving] Devilish: Is it just me, or does Shade die in every Season Finale? Chao: No, he's only died in the first one so far. I imagine he'll make it back like before. [Shade wakes up in HELL!] Shade: ...(yawn) ...OH, CRAP, I'm in EarthBound again, aren't I? BN: No, you are not, Shade. Don't you remember? Shade: !!! ...EVEN WORSE. [Bill Nye the Science Guy steps out of the shadows] Shade: BILL NYE! Man, did I DREAD the day this happens again... BN: Shade, I... I have a confession to make... Shade: If it features any closets, and you coming out of any, I'm outta here. BN: No. I... am not REALLY Bill Nye. Shade: Great... THIS again. BN: I'm-- Shade: J00 R INSUFFICIENT, FOO! BN: No, I'm-- Shade: About to bow down at the feet of Shade? BN: Shut up. Just for that, I'm sticking with Bill Nye. Shade: Me and my big mouth... BN: Now, I have already told you about... (slowly) reincarnation, have I not? Shade: Yep. BN: And the Superman thing? Shade: Went through it. BN: Good! So, now for the most important lesson you'll EVER LEARN. [Bill faces the screen] BN: Even YOU, in front of the computer, YOU should listen, as well. Shade: Okay. We're ALL listening. BN: Good. Now, this is Lesson 2: Prince Logic. [a large, blue screen appears above, and types every word Bill says slowly (shown l.i.k.e....t.h.i.s.)] BN: When you r.e.i.n.c.a.r.n.a.t.e, in order to reach f.u.l.l....p.o.t.e.n.t.i.a.l.... get ready. Shade: Uh-huh, reincarnate, full potential, I hear ya. BN: You must e.n.h.a.n.c.e your c.o.m.e.b.a.c.k by singing this one popular TV show theme... [the screen fades out, then in to the Hero Garden] Mp: You all ready for me? I'm gonna kill each and every one of you! One for each clone! [Shade's body begins to shake] [everyone gasps] Shade: *cough* ....Mephiles.... please... come closer.... [Mephiles does] Mp: What, fool? You want to swim more? Shade: Please.... come closer.... Mp: WHAT!? Shade: Now this is the story all about how, My life got flipped, turned upside down, And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. In West Philadelphia, born and raised On the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin all cool, And all shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good, Started makin’ trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, And said You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. I begged and pleaded with her the other day But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way She gave me a kiss and she gave me my ticket I put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it First class, yo this is bad, Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass Is this what the people of Bel-Air livin' like, Hmm this might be alright! But wait I hear the prissy, bushwa and all that Is this the kind of place that they just send this cool cat? I don't think so. I'll see when I get there. I hope they're prepared for the Prince of Bel-Air! The plane landed and when I came out There was a dude,looked like a cop, standin there with my name out I ain't tryin to get arrested yet I just got here I sprang with the quickness and like lightening disappeared Well, I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, But I thought Nah forget it, "Yo holmes, to Bel Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby "Yo holmes, smell ya later." Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. TA-DA!!!! I pwn you all the way, Mephy. Chapter 3: A Man of Dairy Speaks to the Crowd [cut to later, Shade is tied to a chair and is sent into EarthBound to suffer like Quartz] Shade: ...Hey, guys.... could you please save me? Q: OoOoOOooOOooOooOoOOOOoOooooooo... ShaaaaaaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAaAade.... Shade: Wha? Who's there? A coyote? Q: ...No. It is IIIIIIII, QUAAAAAAAAARTZ! Shade: Quartz, stop acting like that and untie me. Q: ..Okay. [Quartz does] Shade: Thanks. Now, let's use my SUPA-DUPA KARAOKE-STYLE TELEPORT! Q: Not another song... Shade: It's just a NAME! Sheesh! [they get teleported to Mephiles] Mp: Well, that was pointless, I suppose. Get away from me! You must be WITCHES! [Shade and Quartz pass unamused glances] Mp: I doth cast thou witches into the fiery depths of Chao Talk! Shade: Wait, stop! [Shade dives out of the way, and Quartz is sent to Chao Talk] [cut to Quartz, who is in the cage under the office of death] Q: ...Well, this sucks. [back with the chao] Mp: When will you fools just stop bothering me? Chao: When you learn to get a life. All: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH! Tail: Burn! (ignore any possible offense in the following argument) Mp: Oh yeah, Chao? Well, ya know what? Youse a cracker! [everyone gasps] [Dark faints] Shade: Ho-lee KUH-RAAAP, Chao, you gonna take that from dis stoopid punk? Chao: No way. Meph, youse always in our faces, youz got summin' to say to uz, fuh-reak? Mp: Yes. Yes, I DO, as a matter of fact. I have something for you. Chao: Huh. Give it. Mp: A BIG, FAT, FART! Chao: From yo big, fat, butt, huh? You gay or summin? Mp: Oh, if I'm gay, den yo mama's quite a lez. Shade: Oh-ho! Man, you gotta admit, Chao, he sure owned you there. Chao: Anything else to say to me? Mp: Yeah, and this time I'm serious. You see this remote I'm holding? I'd rather let Lord Crump tell you. Devilish: Where'd you find a Paper Mario character at this hour? [a fat, fully covered... thing is standing next to Mephiles] LC: It's something I like to call... A REMOTE TIME-BOMB DETONATOR! Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! [Lord Crump leaves] Mp: And I'll blow up the ENTIRE DARK GARDEN, unless you give in to my demands! Chao: We ain't gettin' in yo bed, homedawg. [the chao all laugh] Mp: Grr... no. My demands simply require you to go to Chao Talk, and STAY THERE! Chao: Say, wait a minute here... how'd you even know that we went to Chao Talk? How'd you know where we were? Mp: How d'ya THINK, fool? I'M the reason you went to the Chao World! I'M the one who set up Chao Talk to go 'Hell-y' on you! [the chao stare in awe] Mp: JOE? I helped him plan it. MM: Hold on one second there, Mephiles. [the MILKMAN walks into the Hero Garden] MM: I'M the one who planned for JOE to go to the Chao World. I sent him there, for a SPECIAL reason... revealed in Season 6. Mp: What? MM: Yes... believe it or not, chao... I am-- no, I musn't say it yet. All these juicy, important story-based details are for you all to find out in Season six. Season 6: The Grey Journey, will come to you DCA fans sometime soon. Dark: "The Grey Journey?" What's THAT supposed to mean? MM: Believe it or not, each Season has a subtitle. DJ got the idea from Avatar. In fact, I have the list of subtitles here... Season One: Shade and Chao Season Two: Dark and Mephiles Season Three: The Beta Avengers Season Four: Purflee and Luis Season Five: (Still in planning) Season Six: The Grey Journey MM: So, I hope you're all ready for that. Chapter 4: The Milkman Takes Over Again MM: And one more thing, Mephiles... if you think you are going to take control of the show, you porous freak, I may as well prevent you NOW before you begin to crumble. [the MILKMAN snatches the detonator and presses the button on it] LGS: Lemme guess, we're all gonna blow up? MM: Yep. You're all gonna blow up. But not me. I'm outta here! [The MILKMAN teleports away somehow] PF: He's bluffing! [silence, then someone coughs] Shade: On to more serious matters, what will we do to escape a very bloody death? Dark: Contribute to society? Shade: In a way, yes. However, I was looking for an answer with more of a... Metroid Prime feel to it. He: Blow the MILKMAN up? Shade: Now, THAT'S a plan! MS: I'll bring out the big guns-- [Shade screams] Shade: HOLY CRAP, METAL! I forgot you were there! Sheesh, didja have to scare us? MS: (considers) .....yes. Speedy: Wait, how're we gonna go up against that weird guy? We don't even know what he looks like! MS: Wait, you guys have seen him MULTIPLE TIMES, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, yet you don't know what he looks like? Shade: Excuse me, but... do YOU know what he looks like? MS: (prepares to talk, thinks, then stops) ...no. He's just so darn elusive! Speedy: *a-hem* Well? Shade: Huh? Oh, right. Well, we'll beat him by commencing one wicked-awesome fight scene. Okay? MM: (booming voice from nowhere) REMEMBER, you only have ONE hour until the bomb explodes. Mp: This is all your fault, fools! Why didn't you just stay in Chao Talk? Shade: *coughnomblecough* Mp: Right. MM: ...By the way, if you wish to fight me, I can be found in the darkest corner of the Dark Garden cave thing. [they all stare, shocked] MM: Also, Mephiles, I stole your clones. Mp: Let's get him! [they all run to the Dark Garden, enter the cave (introduced in Episode 6), and proceed through it] [deep inside, they come across a large, mechanical bridge spanning across a large, grey ocean] He: This is strange. Why is there an ocean? LGS: That's no ocean! [turns out, the ocean is not made of water, but of hundreds of clones of all the chao (but grey)] Shade: . . . ....CRAP. [DUN-DUN-DUUUUN] MM: (booming) FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES! ...Clones, wake up. [the clones all wake up and start ramming the bridge] Shade: Double crap! [there are clones of Metal Sonic and Mephiles] Shade: Triple crap! [suddenly] Shade: QUADRUPLE CRAP, the wolves can open doors! [everyone stares at Shade] Shade: ...What? They CAN! [the clones begin to climb onto the bridge] Shade: QUINTUPLE CRAP! [the clones start to grab some of them] Shade: SEXTUPLE CRAP! [some chao get pulled down] Shade: SEPTUPLE CRAP! [Quartz runs in, and is pulled down] Shade: OC--uh... well, that one wasn't as bad. [Dark is pulled down] Shade: OCTUPLE CRAP! [Shade is being pulled down] Shade: NOVUPLE CRAP! [all is blacking out] Shade: (getting quieter) DEC...UPLE.... CRAP... Chapter 5: Attack on the Clones [Shade wakes up in the same room, with all the clones trying to kill the chao] Shade: ...That's it, you've all made me angry. MM: (booming) TEN MINUTES! Clones, ATTACK! Shade: (sigh) And yet another countdown. Thanks, DJay. [fight scene! Shade kicks the clones around him] [the clones regroup and millions attack him] [Shade punches some, kicks some, and does as much as he can to fight] [but they just keep coming by the millions] [the clones are surrounding Shade] Shade: Ugh... looks like this is it... goodbye, cruel world... I'll miss you reasonably... [Shade suddenly sees a vision of eight yellow chaos drives, and quickly opens his eyes] Shade: What the? [all the clones are drowning in a large pool of water, and Shade is panicking] Shade: AAH! I can't swim! ...Wait, I'm not drowning? What's going on? ?: Shade... Shade... Shade: Who's that? Shade2: Who dya think? Shade: Big bro, is that you? Shade2: Just in your head, moron. Listen, use the force... of the drives. Shade: What? Shade2: SWIM, doofus! SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE! Shade: Oh. [Shade swims quickly through the pool, finds his 'friends,' and they climb onto the bridge and into the next room] Dark: Lord Shade, sir... you're different looking! Shade: Say what now? Shade2: The force of the drives, Shade! The force of the drives! However, you won't have it for long... use it to defeat the MILKMAN. There, simple enough for you? Shade: C'mon, guys, let's go defeat the "Dairy King." [they're about to go] Shade: Wait, how do I look different? Dark: The back of your head looks like Metal's, and your spike thing's light blue! Shade: Do I look cooler? Dark: Well, yeah. Shade: Sweet. [they move on, and find the MILKMAN] MM: WHAT THE? How'd you runts find me? K: You have dozens of signs around saying "This way to the Dairy King." So, we used those. MM: ...okay. Well, you'll NEVER beat me! Shade: You wanna bet, crazy man? [Shade hops up and kicks the MILKMAN] MM: OH... AH... *inhale* ...AH, my face... OW... ...TASTE WATER! [the MILKMAN sends hundreds of gallons of water at Shade, who swims through it and strikes him again] MM: OW... why you little... [the MILKMAN teleports everyone to the Dark Garden, and summons JOE] MM: Muahahahaha! ...Hey, where's Echo? JOE: I dunno. [suddenly, JOE takes to the skies (dunno) while the flying chao follow] MM: Guess I'll have to deal with you HERE... on the ground. ...on the mountain. [the MILKMAN dashes to the mountain, while the rest follow] [cut to the aerial battle] [JOE circles around the mountain, and Tail smacks into it] [JOE laughs and punches Purflee the first in the jaw, and she falls to the ground] [it's up to Purf. He and JOE fly around and eventually, Purf grabs onto JOE's head and rides him to the ground] JOE: Ugh... you may have beaten ME, but the MILKMAN is still at large... [cut to the mountain battle] [the MILKMAN summons multiple Eggman's robots, and that slows the chao down] [Knuckle, however, teams up with Dark to peform a big slingshot punch (dunno) and knock the MILKMAN lower down the mountain] [the MILKMAN does an uppercut and sends the two flying, they land in the garden, and collapse] [the MILKMAN quickly summons some fast robots] [Speedy, as well as 3rd party chao I can't remember chase the robots down, then go for the MILKMAN] [he punches them into the garden] [he summons a huge waterfall down the mountain] [Shade, Elgee, and maybe another swim across and send MILKMAN flying into oblivion] MM: (booming voice) HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BOMB? EXPLODES IN T-MINUS FIVE MINUTES! Chapter 6: So It Ends. ...Right? MS: How can we stop the ticking time bomb!? Shade: I have an idea... [cut to later, a few seconds left, Quartz comes in] Q: Guys? Where are you? Shade: RUN, Quartz! There's a bomb in the garden, the only way to not blow up is to go to the place where the Daleks took Dark and Chao! RUN! [Quartz does, and blows up] Shade: HAHAHAHA! Man, I LOVE doing that! Chao: Shade, I always wanted to ask you, have you seen the movie "Gay Guys Say 'No'"? Shade: Uh... no, I haven--wha? [the Heroes laugh] Speedy: Say, Shade, does your mom know you're gay? Shade: No-- wait... [they laugh more] Chao: I knew we'd finally get you, Shade. Ah, you just made my day. [suddenly, a new chao enters the garden] Nights: Shade, listen... did you see what looked like a hawk fly by? Shade: N-- hey, is this a gay joke? Nights: What? No! Seriously, have you? [a hawk thing flies by] Nights: QUICK, after that flying thing! That's not a hawk, that's a Dark chao in Condor clothing! Shade: And this affects us... how? Nights: He's evil. He's against you. He's not someone you wanna meet. His name is... [zoom in on everyone's faces as they go sad as Nights says the final word] Nights: .....ECHO...... END!