[a clip of the end of the previous episode is on a blue screen]
MM: Heh... so, the time has come...
JOE: Indeed.
MM: Quite.
JOE: Yes... so... what do we do?
[Metroid Prime 3: Corruption- Rundas Battle Theme slowly fades in]
MM: Watch that screen, and pay particular attention to Echo.
[the two laugh as the theme continues]

Dark Chao Adventures

[music volume decreases to hear the following]
[cut to Shade sitting in a red chair next to the camera]
Shade: Yeah, so, I'm Shade. And... I hate Chao. Not the SPECIES, but the guy. The guy's pretty damn annoying. ...I can say 'damn' on TV, right?
[camera bleep, cut to Dark sitting in the chair]
Dark: I'm Dark, and I WOULD be reading those Cue Cards, but I can't read. ...I know what a period is! It's when blood comes out of a girl's--
[camera bleep, cut to Chao sitting in the chair]
Chao: Hello. I'm Chao, the Hero. I'm pretty much the one who farts Shade and saves the day. ...oh, that can't be right... um... (to off-screen crew) what does that card say?
[camera bleep, cut to Tail sitting in the chair nervously]
Tail: Um... uh... I'm... uh... Tail.... AAAHH! The... the camera! IT'S GONNA EAT ME! *hides behind chair*
[camera bleep, cut to Metal sitting in the chair]
MS: The name's Sonic. METAL Sonic. Friends call me 'Metal.' Enemies call me 'Metal.' People call that heavy guitar music 'Metal.'
[camera bleep, cut to Mephiles sitting in the chair]
Mp: ...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? Where am I? I was just eating my Cheerios! What's that? Is that a camera? God, the one time I DIDN'T do my hair...
[camera bleep, cut to a black screen, music increases]

THE TV MOVIE! ...except without the TV

TMEWT 1: The Loneliness Does Not Make Me GLaD

[cut to Shade's POV (think of 'FPS'), he wakes up and sees a roof above his head]
Shade: Ugh... that's not right...
[he tries to get up, but hits glass, which slides open, he gets out, and realizes he was just in a pod]
Shade: What the?
[he's in a large, plastic/glass 'cube,' and around him is a toilet, a radio playing an upbeat song, and a timer mounted on the wall counting down from 59 seconds]
Shade: What just... I mean, I could've sworn I was just in... wait.... huh?
*boop*
CPU voice: Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-
*bzzrt*
CPU: -------stand back. The portal will open in three... two... one...
[a blue portal appears under the timer, which just hit 0]
Shade: ...okay. Why does this all look familiar?
[he thinks for a second]
Shade: ...nope, drawing a blank.
[Shade steps through the blue portal, and comes out outside the cube he was just in]
Shade: Awesome! But... this all looks familiar somehow...
[he thinks for a second]
Shade: Still nothing. Wait, what's that?
[high up on a wall is a glass window with what looks to be an observation office, but with no one in there]
Shade: I don't like this place... there's something... spooky about it.
[a general description: the art style is "safe" and contains different shades of black and white. Everything around him, even those in the cube, "matches" to this "safe" art style. It's eerie.]
[Shade proceeds through a door and notices a large, red button and a small cube]
Shade: *sigh* This is probably a video game. I mean, how often do you get such EASY puzzles as this?
[Shade picks the cube up and places it on the button, a nearby door opens]
CPU: Excellent. Please proceed into the chamber lock after completing each test. First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation grid will vapourise any unauthorised equipment that passes through it; for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
[Shade steps through the Aperture Science Emancipation Grid into an elevator, which takes him up a floor]
Chapter 1: The Portal Gun
[around him is a large wall, with no apparant exits]
CPU: Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 15 hundred megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Supercolliding Superbutton.
Shade: ...?
[a portal appears on the wall near him, through it is a cube]
Shade: That seems easy enough.
[Shade steps through, grabs the cube, and walks back]
Shade: Okay, now where's that 15 hundred-megawatt Aperture Science Heavy-Duty Supercolliding Superbutton?
[the portal he stepped through switches to show the 15HMASHDSS, Shade steps through it, places the cube on it, and comes back]
CPU: Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber lock as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test.
[the portal he stepped through switches to show the chamberlock, Shade steps through and goes up the lift]
[at the next floor, Shade runs into a large sign that reads, "02", then finds a closed door]
CPU: You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but it is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Bacterial Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
[the door opens, Shade runs through and sees a portal appear out of nowhere, he steps through it, jumps off a ledge, and sees a strange gun on a spinning pedestal]
Shade: !!! Sweet, a gun! You can never run around in an unknown, so-called 'enrichment center' without a gun!
[he grabs it, and realizes just where he is]
CPU: Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These intradimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The Device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should *static*.
Shade: Crap... I must be in that game I heard about... that game in the Orange Box.... Portal! Now, is this good... or bad?
[Shade looks around and realizes that there are no exits-- ANYWHERE]
Shade: ...bad, yeah, ABSOLUTELY a bad thing. (breaking fourth wall) And do you know WHY it's bad, kids?
[silence]
Shade: Well, for one thing, this could be very life-threatening. And I know that because this game was made by Valve, the makers of Half-Life. Also, I DON'T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT PORTAL!
[Shade looks around again]
Shade: Hmm... maybe I can easily find a way through? But... how?
[Shade looks at his gun]
Shade: Right. DUH! I've got a portal gun!
[Shade sees an orange portal up by the exit]
Shade: And I'm gonna have to assume that I need to reach THAT portal.
[Shade shoots a wall, placing a blue portal on it, and looking through it, you see the exit]
Shade: I see. The orange portal's point B, the blue portal's point A. I can place point A anywhere, allowing me easy access through this place.
[he goes through the portal, and out the exit into an elevator]
[next floor, Shade sees a sign that reads "03"]
CPU: Please proceed to the chamber lock. Mind the gap.
Shade: What gap?
[he sees the orange portal on the other side of a chasm, he uses the walls around him (plus his blue portal) to get there]
Shade: So, where's the exit?
[he is sad to see the exit on the other side of ANOTHER chasm]
Shade: CRAP! But... to get there, I'd have to find some way to place another portal! ...or WILL I?
[so, Shade shoots a portal on the wall next to the exit, and steps through the orange portal]
CPU: Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science Bring your Daughter To Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
[next floor, the sign reads "04"]
CPU: Welcome to Test Chamber 4. You're doing quite well.
[there's a button in front of the exit, but between them is a glass wall]
Shade: So... I can't just stand on the button and fire a portal into the exit, can I?
[however, nearby is a pit with a cube in it. Shade jumps in, shoots a portal onto a wall, grabs the cube and runs out-- the orange portal was by the button]
CPU: Once again, excellent work. As part of our required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
[test chamber 5, there is a cube in a pit, and two buttons]
Shade: So... I take it the computer won't help me here. Hm?
[nearby are two platforms, Shade sees the orange portal is by one of them, so he gets the cube to the platform (via portals), and tosses it onto the button]
[the second cube is on the other platform-- Shade makes a portal behind it, steps through the orange one to it, grabs it, and tosses it onto the other button, and steps through the door]
CPU: As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in 3... 2... *static*
[he's not out yet- above him is the exit, between him and it is a glass ceiling/floor, and an orange portal on the ceiling above the glass]
[he shoots a portal anywhere and enters the exit]
Chapter 2: A Test of His Skill
[test chamber 6]
CPU: While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet seen to the left of the chamber can, and has, caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful.
Shade: Vaporization!? Aw, man... so... what do I have to do here?
[there is an Aperture Science High-Energy Pellet, and an Aperture Science High-Energy Pellet Catcher]
Shade: ...I think I get it.
[Shade uses portals to get the pellet into the catcher, and an elevator activates leading to the next chamber]
CPU: Unbelievable. You, {subject name here}, must be the pride of {subject hometown here}.
[test chamber 7]
CPU: Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
[Shade sees a pellet and a catcher. He takes home the gold.]
CPU: Good. Now use the Aperture Science un-stationary scaffold to reach the chamber lock.
[Shade uses the magic of portals to get through-- or, at least, TRIES to, but the portals won't appear on certain walls]
Shade: Uh-oh... could this be... a CHALLENGE!? Could I actually HAVE to use the un-stationary scaffold!?
[he does, and continues]
[test chamber 8]
CPU: Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck.
Shade: That... doesn't sound good.
[there's a ball-catcher, and a pellet, Shade adds two and two together, activating a scaffold, which he uses to get by]
CPU: Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
[test chamber 9]
CPU: The Enrichment Centre regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it.
Shade: That doesn't sound AT ALL good!
[the exit is right around the corner, all he needs is to bring a cube onto a nearby button]
Shade: ...okay.
[he tries, but in between him and the button is an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which destroys the cube]
CPU: The Enrichment Center apologises for this clearly broken test chamber.
Shade: Whuh... what?
[he tries again, it doesn't work]
CPU: Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apology on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Shade: Oh, screw this, I'll use portals!
[Shade tries to shoot a portal through the grid, but the portal is destroyed]
CPU: Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
[Shade tries making a portal inside the grid, then grabbing the cube and putting it through, but the portal is destroyed when he walks back]
CPU: Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
[Shade solves it by shooting a portal through a small gap above the grid, and taking the cube through]
CPU: Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
[test chamber 10]
Shade: Okay, how many chambers ARE there? ...and... where exactly AM I? Yeah, missus computer, I mean YOU!
CPU: Hello again, to reiterate- -our previous warning- -this test- -momentum.
Shade: Wait, WHAT? Momentum? Huh? Say what?
[in this room, the orange portal is above his head, on the wall, and the next room is on top of very tall stairs (too high for him)]
Shade: Momentum... hmm...
[Shade notices a large pit in front of him, jumps in, and right before he lands, plants a portal where he WOULD land]
Shade: WHOOOO-HOOOO!
[Shade flies through the orange one onto the stairs above]
[the next room is the same, except the door is even higher, and the pit is deeper]
[so, a very fun jump later...]
CPU: Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
[this time, Shade jumps in the next pit-- but slams into the ground. It turns out the orange portal was down there, so after a retry, he makes up to a high ledge]
[Shade needs to get to the ledge in front of (yet higher than) him]
CPU: Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
[another fun jump later...]
Chapter 3: Completing the Portal Gun
[test chamber 11]
CPU: The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: 'The floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.'
Shade: Hey, what's that?
[down in the chamber below is a portal gun firing orange portals]
Shade: Okay, I KNOW I want that.
[Shade shoots a portal on a wall nearby, then waits for the gun to fire the portal near a button, and steps through it]
[he presses the button and notices a door open, fires a portal into it, and rushes back through the orange one]
Shade: Hmm... a PS (pellet spawner) in this alcove, and a PC (pellet catcher) out there in the main chamber. How ever will I do this?
[Shade shoots a portal for the pellet to go through, and watches as it flies across the main chamber into the PC]
[an unstationary scaffold activates, Shade rides it to the gun, and watches as his gun is modified]
CPU: The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: the device is now more valuable than the organs, and combined incomes, of everyone in {subject hometown here}.
[Shade presses a button, shoots a portal through the door, and rides the scaffold back to the other portal, thus completing the chamber]
[test chamber 12]
CPU: *static*fling yourself-- *static*fling into space.
Shade: Fling into space? ...sweet, another momentum chamber!
[Shade flings himself up a few floors before finding a closed door and a button]
[he flings himself up a floor and finds a cube, but finds that he'll have to pull off a suicidal jump to make it back]
Shade: This is either gonna be extremely fun, or this place will need a maid tomorrow.
[he jumps down a long way, and flies through the portal at an angle]
CPU: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*static*
[THUD... he lands, places the cube on the button, and goes to the next chamber]
[test chamber 13]
CPU: Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very, long time. If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
[Shade grabs a cube and puts it on a button, opening a door, which he goes through]
Shade: A long time? ...nah.
[he connects a pellet to a PC, thus activating a scaffold, which has a cube on top, which he uses to activate one of two buttons]
[for the other button, he 'warps' back to the first room, grabs the cube on the button, and uses it to activate the other button, thus opening the door]
CPU: As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, you will be.. missed.
[Shade realizes what the computer just said, and his pupils shrink, then he continues]
[test chamber 14]
CPU: All subjects intending to handle high energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject.
[Shade climbs some stairs, then sees them disappear]
Shade: ...not what I was expecting...
[above him is a cube]
Shade: I probably need that cube... but... how to get to it? ...oh, right, portals, DUH.
[he puts a portal close to the cube, and jumps off to where the stairs used to be]
Shade: Please work...
[he puts another portal where he is going to land, and flings to the cube]
Shade: IT WORKED! Yay!
[he places the cube on a button, and notices a PS, but no PC]
[upon further examination, Shade finds the PC in another room, and using the magic of portals, adds two and two together]
CPU: Very, very, good. A complementary victory lift has been activated in the main chamber.
Shade: Something tells me that these chambers are gonna be the death of me.
[close-up on his face]
Shade: And something tells me these Aperture guys (quietly) who you can't see a soul of anywhere (normally) WANT this to happen.
Chapter 3.5: Android?
[test chamber 15]
CPU: The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake, and grief counselling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
[Shade flings and swings to the next room]
[then, he shoots and scores with a pellet and PC]
Shade: *yawn* Really, things are getting old now...
[next room-- he flings, then flings again, then "re-establishes the love relationship between a pellet and a PC," then flings again]
Shade: Whoa.. sweet, something new!
[Shade uses portals to help himself across a winding, narrow corridor with a deadly floor]
[finally, Shade readies himself by two buttons, quickly presses them, and helps a pellet find his true home]
CPU: Did you know, you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true.
[test chamber 16]
Shade: Here we go again, where I'm gonna have to use portals to connect a pellet and a catcher, or fling, or do some cube-to-button mathematics, or hear the computer drone on about cake, or D, all of the above.
CPU: Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Centre apologises for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck.
Shade: ...WHAT. THE. DARK. GARDEN?
[the door opens and Shade proceeds in, only to be shot at by a turret with a polite AI]
Shade: HOLY--
[he uses portals to send the turret falling to its doom]
[around a corner, Shade can see the laser that represents the turret's eyesight]
Shade: Crap.
[using his leet portal skittlez, he sneaks behind the turret and massacres it]
[around the bend-- another turret, which meets its maker, or rather, Shade]
[then, one more corner away are two turrets hoping to ambush him, but he quickly runs over to two cubes]
Shade: Drat! How am I supposed to get outta this one? Hey, wait, what's back here?
[behind the cubes is a secret room, where the overall style is much more industrial and mechanical, rather than the style he's used to]
Shade: What IS this place?
[he sees what looks like living quarters, and is about to leave before he notices some writing on the wall]
Shade: "the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie"...?
[there is also a picture of a cube being dropped on a turret, as well as multiple other scribbles]
Shade: Well, I think I have my battle plan.
[he tries using portals to smash the turrets, and it works!]
Shade: Heeeeere's Johnny!
[he picks up a turret and bashes it into another one in the next room]
[suddenly, Shade finds a huge cache of cubes, as well as a radio]
Shade: ...I don't even wanna know.
[using the cache, Shade manages to ambush an ambush of turrets]
[he opens a door, and is instantly shot by a turret behind a grate]
[thanks to his trusty portal gun, Shade manages to go around the grate and bash the turret's artificial brains out]
[then, he goes around ANOTHER grate, stops another ambush waiting to happen, and finally finds the exit]
CPU: Well done, android. The Enrichment Centre once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Shade: (panting) ...android? .....
[test chamber 17]
CPU: The Vital Apparatus Stand will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in 3.. 2.. 1...
[a cube with hearts on it drops in front of Shade]
CPU: This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber. Please take care of it.
Shade: Well, it's nice to have a friend.
[he uses the Companion Cube to climb some stairs]
[suddenly, a pellet flies across a narrow corridor, and Shade uses the Companion as a shield]
Shade: I'm sorry, Companion Cube... I don't want to die!
CPU: The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Centre testing are superstition, percieving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. The Enrichment Centre reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Shade: I knew that. Who said I didn't know that? I don't know you people.
[suddenly, Shade sees another narrow corridor with a pellet flying around, and uses the cube as a shield again]
Shade: Hey, shut up, I told you I don't want to die! ....oh, so now it's all MY fault, is it? Huh? HUH!?
[Shade realizes what he's doing, and stops, then sees a PC, and drinks from the fountain of success]
[looking around, Shade finds another pellet and PC, and becomes the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree]
Shade: I know, I'm cool. ....what was that? .....thanks, Companion!
CPU: The Enrichment Centre reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube DOES speak, the Enrichment Centre urges you to disregard its advice.
Shade: Hey, I know that! Sheesh, what are you, an idiot? I know that. Don't I know that, Companion Cube? See? I know that.
[finally, Shade finds the final PC, and finds the final pellet. He uses his brain]
CPU: You did it. The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanised. Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
Shade: WHAT!? Are you crazy? I love the Companion Cube! It's my life! I LOVE IT!
CPU: Rest assured that an independant panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Centre, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanising process.
Shade: I don't wanna listen to you. The Companion Cube and I are in da zone, G.
CPU: While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk (and the Enrichment Centre takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot), it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in fire than become a burden to you.
Shade: D...do you really think that, Cubie? ...oh... very funny, computer voice. You can't fool me!
CPU: Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Shade: Then let the testing end!
CPU: Although the euthanising process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Shade: Well, I'm one of those other two!
CPU: The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local Statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanise it.
Shade: Well..........
CPU: Destroy your Companion Cube or the testing cannot continue.
Shade: *sigh* ...all right. Good bye, Cubie. I'll miss you...
[Shade slowly drops the Companion Cube into the incinerator]
CPU: You euthanised your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
[test chamber 18]
CPU: The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Centre is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
[Shade takes a step forward, then realizes what the computer just said]
Shade: W...wait............WHAT!? I'm gonna be... WHAT!?
[silence]
Shade: Hey, miss computer-aided voice, could you tell me just WHAT is going on?
[silence]
Shade: *sigh* Looks like I'm gonna have to figure out this stuff myself.
Chapter 4.1: The Unbelievable Test 18
[in front of Shade is a large pit, and the next room on the other side]
Shade: Thank you, portals.
[Shade gets across by using portals]
Shade: ...something tells me this test will take a while. So, time to use somma my Dark chao magic!
[Shade fires a portal to let him up to a ledge]
[quickly, Shade uses portals plus momentum to arrive at the next room]
Shade: Hmm... a button... and a glass window showing a turret ambush...
[he presses the button, and the wall moves, allowing access to the turrets]
Shade: I know how to do this.
[in one mad dash, Shade fires a portal on the wall, and jumps down onto the hard concrete below, places a portal where he'd land, and flies across through the turrets' fire to a cube on the other side]
[he grabs the cube, jumps down, presses a button, and 'warps' back to the room before the turrets]
[using the cube, Shade enters the next room]
Shade: What's this? A bottomless pit... and several high platforms, each higher than the last, leading up to the exit? ...I know how to get through this. But, it won't be easy.
[Shade plants a portal on the platform in front of him, jumps down a pit, and 'flings' up, puts a portal on the next platform, falls into the one he came from, and works his way up]
[around the end, Shade hits a curved wall, and uses it to get to the exit]
CPU: Well done. Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions. For more information, please attend an Enrichment Centre Electrical Safety seminar.
Shade: Piece of cake. ...speaking of which...
Chapter 4.2: Cake Time!
[test chamber 19]
CPU: Welcome to the final test. When you are done, you will drop the Device in the Equipment Recovery Annex. Enrichment Centre regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake *static* ake.
Shade: Uh-huh, yep, I see.
[the challenge is a simple pellet and PC challenge, which Shade passes with flying colors, activating a moving platform]
Shade: This is too easy...
[on the platform, immediately Shade knows there's trouble-- a large piston is in the way]
[Shade uses portals to carefully manuever around it, while staying on the platform]
[around the corner is a closed door, and a button which opens it for a second. Shade uses portals here, too]
[then, a pellet is flying around freely, which Shade sends upwards]
[finally, a large wall is blocking Shade's path, which, of course, portals easily solve]
[behind it, a large cake symbol is on the wall, and the track curves to the left]
CPU: Congratulations. The test is now over. All aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science Computer Aided Activity. Goodbye.
Shade: Huh?
[around the corner, the platform will go into a large furnace, with no visible means of escape]
Shade: Crap.
[as he draws nearer to the fire, a catwalk is seen above it, giving Shade an idea]
Shade: Man, this is gonna HURT if I miss...
[he places a portal up on the catwalk, and one on the wall of the furnace]
Shade: Here goes...
[he jumps into the portal, and makes it!]
CPU: What are you doing? Stop it! I-i-i-i-i-i-i-ii...eee are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honour of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A Party Associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission position or you will miss the party.
Shade: Well, at least I made it out of that alive... now, where to from here?
[there is another catwalk above him, which he flings to]
Chapter 4.3: Partygoer
[after some walking, Shade gets deeper into the facility, where everything is much darker, bulkier, and slightly scarier]
CPU: Hello. Where are you? I know you're there. I can feel you here. Hello.
[a large fan is blocking Shade's progress, which he manages to fit a portal through]
[some more exploring gets him to an office]
Shade: Hello?
[silence]
Shade: ...hey, what's this?
[among the eerie office is a computer that mentions an Artificial Intelligence built to compete against Black Mesa, called the Genetic Life-form and Disc Operating System, or GLaDOS]
Shade: GLaDOS...
[continuing on, Shade finds many walls with pictures written in blood, usually saying where to go]
[he flings up to a higher level]
GLaDOS: What are you doing? You haven't escaped, you know. You're not even going the right way. Hello? Is anyone there?
[after climbing some stairs, Shade finds a Cube Transport Tube (or Cube Tube) and hops in]
Shade: WHEEEEE!!!
[eventually, the Cube Tube ends at Test Chamber 9]
GLaDOS: Okay. The testing is over now. You win. Go back to the Recovery Annex for your cake. It was a fun test, and we're all impressed at how you won. The test is over. Come back.
[Shade goes through the chamber and falls through the elevator shaft]
GLaDOS: Uh-oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you but they cut it anyway. There is still some left, so if you hurry back..
[after some running, and piston climbing, Shade gets even deeper into the facility]
GLaDOS: You're not even going the right way. Where do you think you're going? Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going. Hello?
[Shade climbs some more pistons, and finds EVEN MORE pistons]
GLaDOS: Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit, and I said 'Goodbye', and you were like, 'No Way', and then I was like, 'We pretended we were going to murder you'. That was great. Is anyone there?
[he goes through the multiple piston chambers]
GLaDOS: You really shouldn't be here. This isn't safe for you. It is not too late for you to turn back. I am not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
[he goes through the piston areas, and across the Cube Tubes, and begins to wonder if he really SHOULD be there]
GLaDOS: You should have turned left before. It's funny, actually, when you think about it. Someday we'll remember this and laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Oh boy. Well, you may as well come on back.
[Shade finds a railing and jumps down it, delving even DEEPER...]
[he goes across some pistons, which detract, dropping him into the chamber below...]
Shade: Now where am I?
[beeping is heard around him]
Shade: I don't like the sound of that.
[doors open around him, revealing 4 turrets, each hoping to ambush him]
Shade: CRAP!
[using the magic of portals (and a big barrel), Shade defeats the turrets and flees the area]
GLaDOS: You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't get up here. Can you hear me?
[Shade sees a turret's laser eyesight, and nearly screams, before noticing it's a dud]
Shade: ...what a relief.
[he continues through]
[he drops into a room behind a turret, and peforms a sneak attack before continuing]
GLaDOS: This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this. I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you. I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you? This is your last chance.
[in the next room, Shade presses a button, releasing a special turret which fires rockets]
Shade: KUH-RAP!
[a mad dash later, Shade manages to get as far away from the rocket turret as possible]
Shade: This 'enrichment center' is crazy. I mean, I'm in a freaking SEWER! How is THAT 'enriching'?
[Shade finds the exit to the sewer, and surfaces in a suspiciously large room...]
Chapter 4.4: Violence is Not the Answer... Except Here.
[lots of beeps are heard, and all the doors surrounding Shade open, revealing dozens of turrets!]
Shade: Okay, this is sort of... a nightmare.
[for each turret, he has to sneak up on them and knock them out before another turret kills him, which takes him a while]
Shade: That's it... each and every last turret is dead. Wait...
[he sees a red laser above him, gets up there, and kills the turret]
[then, he solves a flinging puzzle, only to have two more turrets come in]
Shade: *sigh* How many turrets ARE there?
[he destroys them, then flings up to a catwalk which leads through multiple offices before leading to a large silo]
Shade: A large silo? I wonder what these guys need a silo for.
Chapter 4.5: I'm Not That GLaD to See YOU, Either.
[Shade sees a giant... robot thing hanging from the ceiling]
GLaDOS: Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behaviour, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just
call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. You chose this path; now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5, 4.. *something falls* Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise. I've never seen it before. Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later, by myself. As you'll be dead. .... I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse. Somehow. ... It isn't my job to tell you your business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone. Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now? Okay, FINE. DO touch it. Pick it up and just stuff it back into me. Let's be honest. Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner and I'll deal with it later. That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it. Maybe you should marry that thing, since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? Well, I won't let you. How does that feel?... Have I lied to you? I mean.. in this room? Trust me. Leave that thing alone. I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol. Just ignore that thing and stand still. Think about it. If that thing is important, why don't I know about it? I'll tell you what that thing isn't. It isn't yours. So leave it alone. Are you even listening to me?
[Shade spies an incinerator in the far corner of the room, grabs the thing, and drops it in]
GLaDOS: You're kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator!? That has got to be the dumbest thing th- whoa.. whoa.. whoa.... Good news.. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment centre with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me STOP flooding the Enrichment Centre with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.. Oh. That core may have had some ancillary responsibilities. I can't shut off the turret defenses. Oh well. If you take my advice you should just lie down in front of a rocket. It'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin... Alright, just keep doing whatever you think you're doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive.
Shade: Shut up, you son/daughter/invention of a--
[the rocket turret fires at Shade, who dodges it, making it fly into GLaDOS, who drops another thing, which Shade chucks into the incinerator]
GLaDOS: You think you're doing some damage? 2 plus 2 is... *fizzfizzfizz* 10. ... ... ... In base 4. I'm fine. By the way, I only let you live this long because I was curious about how you would behave. Unfortunately, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
[Shade repeats the process]
GLaDOS: Neurotoxin.. so deadly.. choking.. Hahahaha. When I said deadly it had major sarcasm quotes around it. I could take a bath in this stuff. Honestly, it's not deadly at all - to me. You, on the other hand, will find its deadliness rather less funny.
Shade: Oh, shut up.
GLaDOS: I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A great big party. All of your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube, but of course he couldn't come because you murdered him. None of your other friends could come because you don't have any other friends because you are unlikable. It says so here in your file, 'unlikable', liked by no one, all formal and everything. It also says you're adopted, so that's funny, too.
Shade: Well, it's a lie.
GLaDOS: Speaking of curiousity, I expect you're curious about what happens after you die. Guess what? I know. But you'll find out first-hand before I finish explaining it to you. But, in summary, I'd live as much as you can in the next few minutes.
[Shade gets tired of hearing her, and repeats the process]
GLaDOS: That thing you just broke isn't important to me. It's the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit. It makes shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero.
Shade: I'm a Dark.
GLaDOS: I'm not sure what's going on outside.. all I know is, I'm the only thing standing between us...and THEM.. And I... O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.. *BOOM*
[the ceiling blows up, and sucks Shade out. He blacks out]
Shade: *coughcough* Ugh...
[he opens his eyes and sees the outside world]
Shade: I'm... I'm free! I'm FREE! But... what did she mean by 'us and THEM'?
[Shade starts walking along a highway]
Chapter 5: Us... and THEM.
Shade: Hello? Hellooooo?
[eerie silence]
Shade: Where am I?
[he's on a highway, but with no car, bird, animal, etc. in sight]
[then, a town is seen on the horizon, Shade runs to it]
Shade: Hello?
[silence]
[he checks in a nearby building, but nobody's there]
Shade: okay, I don't like this. I need some people to talk to!
[silence]
Shade: Shut up.
[silence]
Shade: I SAID "SHUT UP!" ...huh?
[Shade notices the Companion Cube behind a dumpster]
Shade: Is... is that YOU, Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube?
CC: You murdered me... you threw me into a fire!
Shade: B-but I didn't mean to! GLaDOS made me! She forced me with all her talks of how you would rather die!
CC: I will never forgive you, Shade... YOU... MURDERER...
[the Companion Cube disappears]
Shade: Compy... WHERE DID YOU GO? *sob*
[hours pass before Shade hears something]
?: *static* ...(muffled, radio-like, deep) You there. Get up.
Shade: *sniff* Who.... me?
?: YOU, citizen. I see no other. Get up.
Shade: Please... let me mourn over my lost love...
?: Reporting a code twelve: Citizen is refusing to follow orders. Submitting for public service detail, T124-492.
Shade: What?
[Shade turns around and sees a chao wearing a black combat suit, wearing some odd form of gas mask, and holding what appears to be an electric billy club]
Shade: EEK! Combine! I'll get up; I'm sorry, sir! I obey!
[Shade is about to be smacked with the club when the chao disappears]
Combine Chao: (like a voice in the wind) Reporting a murderer of Companion Cube......
Shade: I didn't murder him/her! I DIDN'T!
[Shade decides to 'walk it off,' and proceeds across the highway]
[hours of walking pass before Shade sits down from tire]
Shade: *pant* ...Just... where am I?
[suddenly, Shade spots a car coming from the town]
Shade: Huh? But... where'd that come from?
[as it drives by, Shade sees what looks like some chao driving, and in the backseat, the Companion Cube chucks a laptop out the window to Shade]
Shade: Thank you, Companio-- WHAT THE?
[he looks to where the car went, but nothing's there-- any traces of the car have gone, except the laptop]
[so, he turns on the laptop, and a filed report is on the screen]
[strangely, a sound file plays as he reads, which sounds like GLaDOS singing the report]
GLaDOS: [Test Assessment Report:]
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here
HUGE SUCCESS!
It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
Because we can
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake
You just keep on trying
'til you run out of cake
And the science gets done
And you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive

[Personnel File Addendum:
Dear << Subject Name Here >>,]
I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart
And killed me.

And tore me to pieces
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta
We're releasing on time.
And so I'm GLaD I got burned
Think of all the things we learned
For the people who are
Still alive.

[Personnel File Addendum Addendum:
One Last Thing:]
Go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else
To help you.
Maybe Black Mesa...
THAT WAS A JOKE HAHA! FAT CHANCE!
Anyway this cake is great
It's so delicious and moist

Look at me still talking
When there's science to do
When I look out there
It makes me GLaD I'm not you
I've experiments to run
There is research to be done
On the people who are
Still alive!

[PS:] And believe me I am still alive
[PPS:] I'm doing science and I'm still alive
[PPPS:] I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
[FINAL THOUGHT:]
While you're dying I'll be still alive

[FINAL THOUGHT PS:]
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE!
Still alive!
[Shade closes the laptop]
Shade: ...o...KAY.
Chapter 6: Mystery of the Cut...
[camera pan of another deserted town, Shade walks in]
Shade: Hello? (pause) *sigh* Great, another town full of NO ONE.
[rustle]
[Shade checks out the noise, enters a house, and sees the Companion Cube enter a room]
Shade: Compy! I swear, I didn't murder you!
[in the room, Shade is shocked to see a cloaked figure resembling JOE holding the Companion Cube]
?: I have been waiting for you.
Shade: Who are you?
?: *sigh* ...my name is Tagliare. I am a very lonely person, always waiting for someone to come by.
Shade: That's... creepy.
Tag: You wouldn't think so... if you were as lonely as I.
Shade: Still creepy.
Tag: Say what you want... I have your Companion Cube. I suppose you would be wanting him/her back...
Shade: Yes. Yes I would.
Tag: But... if I give it to you... you will only leave me here, will you not?
Shade: Naturally.
Tag: *sigh* ...before I give it back... I request that you listen to this word of warning.
Shade: Um... sure, I guess.
Tag: My friends and I--
Shade: I thought you were lonely!
Tag: They're not here right now. They... well, are not IMAGINARY, but you may consider them to be. You know them.
Shade: The turrets from Aperture Science?
Tag: ...since when were they imaginary?
Shade: I don't know.
Tag: Nontheless, we have been watching you. Watching every move you make. Even the part where you smacked into a bucket.
Shade: Your friends saw me in the bathroom!?
Tag: ....well, uh... that is beside the point. We watched as you broke out of Aperture Science... destroying it in the process.
Shade: So you're a perverted madman, I get it.
Tag: Not at all. We are merely... backups.
Shade: Backups?
Tag: Backups, Shade. Mere backups to you and YOUR friends. However... I am probably confusing you now, correct?
Shade: Yep.
Tag: EXCELLENT, LET IT CONFUSE YOU! That makes my job easier.
Shade: *sigh* ...DJay, do you know this guy?
DJ: No... although he seems familiar.
Tag: It must, DJ. It must. 
DJ: Huh?
Tag: ...nevermind. Shade, do you remember the laptop you acquired?
Shade: The one with the catchy song in it?
Tag: The very same. Shade... do you know what it meant?
Shade: ...GLaDOS is just as crazy dead as she is alive?
Tag: She IS alive, Shade! She kept on saying 'Still Alive,' remember? SHE IS ALIVE!
Shade: OR it's the name of the song.
Tag: Well, yes, but she-- alas, time grows short for me. Take the Companion Cube, avoid the Chaobine, and remember what we talked about.
[Shade takes Compy, gets out, and continues along the highway]
Shade: I missed you, Compy.
CC: I missed you, too, Shade. Please, don't ever leave me again, MURDERER!
Shade: Muh... murderer!? I told you, it wasn't me! GLaDOS forced me!
CC: You murdered me, Shade. That hurt my feelings.
Shade: Wait, if I murdered you, how are you still alive?
CC: The portal storms cause very disastrous things to happen.
Shade: That has to do with this... how?
CC: Murderer.
[the two argue until they hear a faint rumble]
Shade: Uh... what was that?
Chapter 7: Okay, NOW you're thinking with Portal Storms!
CC: The portal storms cause very disastrous things to happen.
Shade: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?
[louder rumble, lightning is seen in the distance]
Shade: Oh boy, here comes the rain.
CC: The portal storms cause very--
Shade: Shut up.
[lightning again, but closer; louder rumble]
Shade: Hey, that doesn't LOOK like lightning. ...it's all... blue. Wait... 'the portal storms'? Oh, Hero Chaos...
CC: Enough Orange Box for you yet?
Shade: Portal was 'enough Orange Box' for me.
[horses are heard coming closer, just barely faster than the blue stuff]
Shade: Whoa, what's with the horses?
CC: The portal storms, Shade. The portal storms are very disastrous. Horses are scared of them.
Shade: Wait... where are the horses going?
CC: Away from the portal storms.
Shade: Um... uh..... are you any good as a shield?
CC: Kind of, why?
[Shade ducks behind the Cube as the horses dash past them]
CC: Oh.
[suddenly, the blue stuff passes through Shade]
Shade: Hey, that didn't hurt at all! What were you worrying about--
[the Cube is gone, and any traces of the horses have disappeared]
Shade: ...spooky.
[so, Shade continues the long walk to the unknown]
[something growls]
Shade: AAHHH! GHOST!
[silence]
Shade: ...?
[Shade feels pain in his stomach]
Shade: Oh... heh......... I'm hungry.
[he looks at the eerie surroundings-- just a road]
Shade: Aw...
[he continues walking, getting hungrier every second]
[eventually, he passes out]
[hours later, he wakes up next to a cake on the ground, and gobbles straight through it]
Shade: Yummy! Wait... now I'M FALLING VICTIM TO CAKE! AAAHHH!! THE CAKE IS A LIE! HELP ME!
[he runs as fast as he can before smacking into a sign]
Shade: HeY, wAtCh WhErE yOu'Re GoInG.... huh? 'London, next exit'? SWEET!
[minutes later, he's in London, or rather-- another deserted town which looks exactly like the others]
Shade: Um... something's wrong here.
[suddenly, he sees the Companion Cube AGAIN, then hears a portal storm coming closer]
Shade: Uh... Compy... or storm? ....tough question.
[the storm instantly passes through the town, and as it passes, the town turns into London, and the Cube disappears]
Shade: ...Dubbyuh... Tee... Eff.
[he runs up to a man]
Shade: Excuse me, sir, do you know where the nearest Chao Transporter is?
Man: Yeah, up i' t' old centa'.
Shade: Right, uh... thanks.
[a few seconds later]
Shade: ....what?
[the man points towards a large building]
Shade: OH! ..I knew that.
[as he proceeds to the building, things start 'fading' into a deserted town, and the Cube appears again]
CC: Hey, Shade. How's it going?
Shade: Oh, I dunno... things keep messing up my mind.
CC: You know... that cake was real. I put it there.
Shade: But... I thought you thought I was a murderer!
CC: I DO. But, even murderers don't deserve to die.
Shade: *quietly* Tell that to Texas.
CC: Still, I bet you're wondering what's going on, right?
Shade: Duh.
CC: The portal storms, Shade. The portal storms is what's going on.
Shade: But... what does that even MEAN?
CC: It means-- *notices portal storm coming* ....oh, snap.
Shade: Well?
CC: The teddy bear; the teddy bear knows all!
[the portal storm switches everything back to normal]
Chapter 8: Escape?
[Shade enters the building]
Shade: Where's the Chao Transporter?
Clerk: 37.
Shade: In a row? --oh, FLOOR 37. I knew that.
[he takes the elevator to floor 37, and walks down a long hall of doors]
Shade: Talk about eerie.
DJ: Hey, I LOVE eerie things.
Shade: I can tell.
[at the end of the hallway is a big painting of the Nomble]
Shade: What's funny is that this place ISN'T in a secretcity map; it's completely original.
Tag: I know.
Shade: *jumps in shock* WHOA! Where'd you come from?
Tag: I was with the clerk. What is wrong?
Shade: I... thought there was a Chao Transporter up here...
Tag: There IS. ...however, it is not easy to get to. It is in one of these doors.
Shade: What's so hard about that?
[Shade opens a door, only to smack into a brick wall]
Shade: Oh.
Tag: You must pass into the land of illusions, walk past the brick wall, then wait for a portal storm to take you back.
Shade: And... if I pick the wrong door, I'll have to repeat the process?
Tag: Quite so.
Shade: I hate you, DJay.
[suddenly, Shade runs away, then comes back with dynamite]
Tag: Wh...where did you get that?!
Shade: Dark chao always have ten tons of dynamite in hand...
[he places it at every wall, and blows them up, revealing nothing in any of them]
Shade: WHAT THE!?
Tag: Mmmhmmhmmm... my work is complete. Farewell, Shade. I will see you again.
[Tagliare sends Shade to the Chao Lobby]
Shade: Okay, that was odd. At least I'm back!
[he rushes into the Dark Garden, only to find everything on fire]
Shade: ...is this because I farted?
Tag: No.
Shade: *jump* !!! Will you stop doing that?
Tag: I am simply saying... it was due to Echo.
[Tagliare disappears]
Shade: Echo? ...oh, I remember. HIM.
[Echo flies down to Shade]
Echo: ...
Shade: ...
[they have a stare-off (stare at each other dramatically) for a few seconds]
Echo: Welcome back.
Shade: What did you do?
Echo: What, I don't even get a 'hello'?
Shade: WHAT did you DO?
Echo: To this garden, or to ALL of them?
Shade: WHAT DID YOU DO?
Echo: Nothing much, just a simple bombing. 40-caliber, like an atomic bomb, only not as post-damaging.
Shade: ...
Echo: I followed my orders. I was told to 'bomb the **** out of the gardens,' as MILKMAN said.
Shade: Oh, so MILKMAN's behind all this, huh?
Echo: Of course he is! His plan was GENIUS! I had to fly around for a few days, just to get the Heroes to worry.
Shade: What about the Darks?
Echo: They were too busy worrying where their leader was to notice me drop the F-bomb on them, followed by the real thing.
Shade: You SWORE at my men!?
Echo: Why not? I mean, a second later, they were dead.
Shade: You son of a--
[Shade jumps to strike at Echo, who takes to the skies]
Echo: A battle you want, a battle you get.
Chapter 9: The Climax/Shade VS the Beta Avengers
[Shade hops into the air, but Echo swiftly avoids him]
[Echo slams Shade into the ground with his talons, who breaks free and punches him]
Echo: Nice; you managed to get a hit in. But that'll be the only one you'll give!
[Echo rises into the air, charges down, smacks into Shade, and quickly flies back up]
Shade: Come back down here, coward! Let's fight like chao!
Echo: I'm no chao, mortal. I am a Beta Avenger!
[Echo flies incredibly high into the air, and dives down into Shade, causing quite some damage]
[Shade grabs onto his tail as he rises back, and rapidly punches him]
[as Echo tries to fight back, Shade plucks a feather off his tail, and quickly jumps off, letting Echo slam into a wall]
[Shade approaches Echo, who is lying on the ground]
Shade: Tell me-- who is Tagliare?
Echo: *cough* I'll give you a hint... *hack* he is like me...
Shade: He's a bird?
Tag: I am a Beta Avenger.
Shade: *jumps* You've GOTTA stop doing that, dude! --Wait, what?
Tag: I. Am. A. Beta. Avenger. Understand?
Shade: ...yet you helped me.
Tag: I helped you do nothing except come here, to your demise.
Shade: So... you're the fourth robot thingy?
Tag: Quite so. Only, we are not 'robot thingies,' we are two robots and two dark matter creatures.
Echo: MILKMAN and JOE are robots, we're dark matter.
Shade: Okay, could someone explain this whole 'dark matter' thing to me?
Tag: It is quite simple-- dark matter is the stuff that forms evil creatures.
Shade: Like Dark Matter and 02?
Echo: Yeah, pretty much.
Tag: So, may we resume fighting?
Shade: Right.
[Shade continues pummelling Echo until Tagliare stops him]
Tag: Allow me to show you what I can do!
[suddenly, Shade starts seeing Chao Talk, and the Companion Cube appears]
Shade: Compy, go hide! The Beta Avengers are here!
CC: You murdered me, Shade. You murdered me.
Shade: But... what about our talk? What about Texas?
[the Nomble is seen coming closer in the distance]
CC: Sorry, Shade, but the Nomble is the only thing to do with Texas you'll be seeing.
Shade: B-but the Nomble has nothing to DO with Texas!
CC: Exactly.
[the Cube vanishes, and the Nomble's scream is heard as it comes closer]
Shade: TAGLIARE, WHAT DID YOU DO!?
Tag: I gave you extreme hallucinations.
Shade: HOLY-- please stop appearing from nowhere!
Tag: I have the ability to make creatures believe what I want them to.
Shade: And that means...?
Tag: Right now, I am making you believe you are in Chao Talk.
Shade: Oh. So... you can make me believe I'm dead? ...won't I still be alive?
Tag: If one believes they are being hurt, they really WILL be hurt. Same theory.
Shade: So... so YOU'RE the reason I've been going through these tramautic experiences?
Tag: Quite so. Like I said, I have been watching you. ...as well as following you.
[right before the Nomble kills Shade, he 'wakes up']
Tag: WHAT? My powers never fail me! ...unless there was a portal storm...
Shade: (thinking) Of course... I destroyed Aperture Science, which resulted in some disastrous portal storms!
[Shade powerfully punches Tagliare]
Shade: Looks like your little hypnotism didn't work THIS time, dark scum!
[Shade and Tagliare engage in a five-minute long fistfight]
Tag: *pant* ...don't you... get tired?
Shade: I'm a Dark chao-- I've never HEARD of the word 'tired'! ...well, I HAVE, but I'm trying to make this look cool.
[Shade delivers a finishing blow, leaving Tagliare lying on the ground]
Chapter 10: The Others
[Echo jumps to Shade, who takes a small step to the side, letting him smack into Tagliare]
Both: Oof...
Shade: Now, you two... my friends; are they really dead?
Echo: Ugh... I wasn't entirely watching, but.... I dropped a large bomb on them... how could they NOT die?
[Shade kicks Echo]
Shade: I hate you, y'know.
Echo: I know...
Shade: Could you guys at least tell me how I ended up in Aperture Science?
Tag: It was the boss' idea... MILKMAN... he told us to sign you up while you were asleep.
Shade: I hate how everything happens while I sleep!
[Shade takes a look at the sky]
Shade: My friends... they're GONE. All gone.
[suddenly, an idea springs to mind]
Shade: Wait... what about this whole 'prophecy' thing? With the Chaos Drives?
Echo: Legend has it that the eight/seven Chaos Drives will power any chao to their next level...
Shade: In English, please?
Tag: Get these seven or eight thingamabobs to go all sparkly.
Shade: Oh. But... what about my friends? Is there any way to bring them back?
Echo: Uh... Thriller?
Shade: Hey, yeah! That worked before, it should work now! But... I don't have the CD anywhere...
Tag: Sounds like there is only one option left, then.
Shade: Please... not that! I don't wanna do that!
Echo: It's for your friends.
Shade: *sigh* ...all right. But, just THIS ONCE.
[cut to the Chao Lobby, a spotlight shines on Shade (wearing a beige suit)]
Shade: It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting to survive inside a killer, thriller tonight

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life

They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen,
I'll make you see

That this is thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
Thriller here tonight

Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighbourhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzy ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
Can you dig it?!!!
Moo-hoo-hoo-haa-haaaaaa!!!
[song ends, everyone comes back]
Shade: I don't EVER want to do that again.
Chapter 11: Sledgehammer? More like CLIFFHANGER!
[cut to the Dark Garden, Shade reunites with his friends]
Dark: YAY, I'm alive!
Red: But... wasn't that ressurection kind of... anti-climactic?
Shade: Look, I didn't act like MJ for nothing; BE THANKFUL.
Red: Sorry. Thank you.
Shade: Hey, uh.. what'd you guys do with the Beta Avengers?
SShade: What? I thought YOU...
[Tagliare's manical laughter is heard, accompanied by Echo's bird-like screech]
Shade: Ay carumba...
[suddenly, a large bomb appears with a sign right next to it]
Sign: "HA HA HA! This bomb will explode in two minutes unless you blow it up first with dynamite! Because the dynamite will make a much less explosion."
Ph: Go, Shade! Use your dynamite!
Shade: Uh...
Csky: Shade... you... DO have your dynamite, right? (to the others) He always has dynamite; tell me he has dynamite!
[Shade has a flashback of Tagliare saying "Mmmhmmhmmm... my work is complete," right after Shade used his dynamite]
Shade: Um... guys? You may want to run as far away from here as possible.
Dark: Why?
Shade: Just trust me.
[they all run seperate ways, as well as the Heroes, who recieved a bomb, too]
[fade out, followed by a two loud explosions, and Echo's and Tagilare's laughter]
END...?