I have an equation. Add two Dark chao with two Hero chao, and divide them by a room. What do you get? The Chao Lobby. Also known as the area of crime for four troublesome beings. Join us as we explore a land of mystery in... Dark Chao Adventures Episode 21: Mysterious Stardust Part 1: The Case of the Broken Glass Our story begins in the quiet Neutral Garden as the hedgehog referred to as "Uncle Shadow" takes Shade and Chao, two bitter rivals, for a walk. Chapter 1: A Messed-Up Mind [Shade fakes a yawn] Shade: Uncle Shadow, why does HE have to come with us? Shadow: Because... Sonic doesn't wanna get (bleep)ed by Amy. Chao: ... Shade: HEY! What's (bleep) mean? Shadow: It means-- Chao: Please don't... (covers ears) [Shadow says the meaning, while Shade stares in awe, and Chao keeps his head covered] Shade: COOL! I wanna get (bleep)ed, too! Shadow: Yeah, Sonic's a wimp. Chao: Can we PLEASE talk about something else? Other2: Wimp. [they stay quiet as they walk through the garden, when they hear a loud noise] All: What the? [they run out to the Lobby and see the Poker Gang staring at a spot on the ground] Shade: Yo. Whatcha lookin' at? MS: Nothing. Nothing at all. Shade: Nothing? Or SOMETHING? MK: Hey! Careful with that ZIM line, it's a classic! Shade: Sorry. Chao: Why is there a HOLE in the ground? DT: No reason. We didn't do it. Shadow: Come on, we KNOW you did it. You guys were the only ones in here, right? TD: So WHAT? It's JUST broken glass. No biggie. Shade: Hmm... this seems like a job for my JUNIOR DETECTIVE KIT! Here, Chao, since you're the only other chao here, you get one, too. Chao: Fine. Shade: But... we need Watsons! Chao: I'm sticking with Tail. Shade: Hmm.... I'm gonna need the smartest chao ever... besides me. But... who is smart? [cut to the Dark Garden, Shade runs to Dark] Shade: DARK! You wanna help me solve a mystery? Dark: Oh boy, DO I? Yeah, OF COURSE I DO! What is it? Is it a MURDER mystery? Is it a ROBBIN' ROBBER mystery? Is it mah gran-gran!? Shade: Calm down! The Poker Gang broke the floor in the Lobby, but we need PROOF. Dark: Oh, is that all? It's obvious, Shade... it's obviously the Milkman. Shade: The Milkman has never appeared in a real episode, though. Dark: Okay... uh... Mecha Knuckles. It's GOTTA be him. Shade: First, let's take a look at the evidence. Chapter 2: Evidential Economy Shade: First... we have the glass. Let's take a look. [they go to the lobby, and see that Chao and Tail are already on their way to the glass, as well] Chao: Don't look now, Tail, but I do believe I see two hammer-whacks short of a fixed floor. And a crack in the floor, too. Shade: I don't know how, but you insulted me, didn't you? Chao: Yes. Yes I did. Shade: Ah, shut up, already! Hey, where's the Poker Gang? Chao: They left, you dolt. Shade: ...Crap. Ah, who cares... they always return to the scene of the crime. Dark: No they don't. Shade: .....................ANYWAY, let's look at the evidence. Tail: Nuh-UH, you guys! We were here FIRST! Dark: Yeah? Well, my big, fat, BUTT says otherwise. Chao: You and your BUTT can go find some OTHER broken glass to shove up itself. Shade: Oh, yeah? Well, how'z about you take that wise-crack attitude of YOURS and shove IT up YOUR butt? Chao: Simple-- I don't have a butt. Shade: Good point. [2 hours of wise-crack insults later] Dark: What about if we ALL look at the evidence? Tail: Dark, have I ever told you how smart you are? Everyone: No. Dark: This time, they're right. I AM dumb. Tail: Still, let's all look at the evidence. THE EVIDENCE: Broken glass on Lobby floor Dark: Not really much evidence... is it? Shade: I have an idea! Chao: And I have a better one. Let's interrogate the Poker Gang! Shade: (quietly) Yeah, well...... (mutter) [later, in the Stardust Eggman] Chapter 3: Interrogation Station of Insults MS: What is it now, chumps? Come to cry for yo mama? Shade: Oh, I come to return to YO mama! Dark: YO MAMA CONTEST! [The rest of the Poker Gang and the rest of the chao form a crowd arround Shade and Metal, while Dark pulls out a chalkboard] [Tails Doll turns on a "Beat-Mix" version of "Hero Race" on a boom-box] MS: Yo mama so fat, she needed eleven chao just to fit through the door to the Chao Garden! Crowd: OOOOOH! Tail: Burn! [Dark puts one tally under "Metal"] Shade: Oh yeah? Well, YO mama so ugly, Dark Tails looked at her and says, "Whoa!" Crowd: (except DT) OHHHHH! DT: (quietly) I'm not THAT ugly... [Dark puts one tally under "Shade"] MS: Oh, well, yo mama so stoopid, she looked at the back of yo head and said, "It's a girl!" Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Dark: You gonna take that from a circuitry skunk? [Dark tallies "MS"] Shade: Yo mama so stoopid, she thinks a pink cuccoon means the Chao's pickled! Crowd: OH MAH GAOD! MK: Metal, ain't NO WAY you gonna come outta this losin', and us stayin' yo gang! [Dark tallies "Shade"] MS: Yo mama so fat AND stoopid, she thought she had to eat seventeen Light Chaos Chao to get SKINNY! Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Dark: Shade, there ain't NO way you gonna come up wit a betta comeback! [Dark tallies "Metal"] Shade: (deep breath) Yo mama so stoopid, she got locked in the grocery store n' STARVED to death! Crowd: (excited cheering) Chao: Come on, Shade... win this! [Dark tallies "Shade"] MS: Oh yeah? Well.... yo mama.... uh... yo mama so ugly, she, uh....... she look like a wall! Crowd: (murmuring) Chao: Shade, come up with one insult and you win! Shade: Mmmhmmmhmmmhmmm... yo mama so fat AND crossdressin', people looked at her, n' thought she was EGGMAN! Crowd: (cheer) Shade: Go me! Go me! It's my birthday! It's my birthday! [Dark tallied a final tally under "Shade"] [Tail holds Shade's arm up] Tail: SHADE IS DA WINNA! Crowd: (cheer) MS: Okay... what do you want? Shade: We need to interrogate you and the rest of the Gang to find out who broke the glass in the Lobby. MS: (sigh) Fine. INTERROGATION: Metal Sonic: It wasn't me. I was following the other guys, and they told me they were going somewhere cool. They said I'd like it, and that if I didn't do it, I couldn't be their leader. You saw in the contest how I wasn't gonna be the leader if I lost! Then, I saw them grabbing hammers. We all talked about who was gonna break it, but we kept arguing. Suddenly, we heard you guys in the Neutral Garden and thought you were coming, so somebody smashed it. I was looking at the gate to the Garden. I swear! Mecha Knuckles: Now, just why the hell would I break it? Sure, I do seem like the strong one, and I AM the strong one, but you see, the Doll and Dark Tails told us to follow them. Over there, we picked up the hammers, talked about who was gonna smash it first, and heard a noise from the Neutral Garden. I saw a glove smash it, but that's all. Really! Tails Doll: Just look here for a moment... I couldn't have done it, since Dark Tails told me he wanted me to get him some ice cream! I realized that there was this secret shop underneath the school, so I told everyone to follow me, so we could get some ice cream. They came, and Mecha picked up this hammer from nowhere, and pulled out another three. We each picked them up, and talked about smashing the ground. I thought they were joking, y'know, "college pranks" and whatnot. Then, next thing I know, there's a sound coming from the Neutral Garden and someone had already smashed the ground! Dark Tails: Okay, you see, I told Tails Doll that I was hungry for ice cream, and he told me he knows where to get some. He bid me follow him, and I did. The other guys came, too. Suddenly, Metal pulled out some hammers and Mecha took one and pretended to smash the ground. I was worried he'd break it, then I was given one. It was really heavy, but I managed to hold it. Suddenly, there was a noise from the Neutral Garden, and I heard a smashing noise! You guys ran in, and Shadow, too, and that's it. Shade: Hmmm.... all their stories SEEM solid. Chao: Shade, listen... (whisper) Shade: Doggonit, you're right! Poker Gang, and Watsons, we know who did it. Chapter 4: Angel Island Flames [Metal arrvies on Angel Island, and finds a town called Hewewe (Hay-way-way)] MS: Hey, mister echidna dude! E: Yes? MS: What's going on here? E: A dragon is coming! He lives in the lost caves! MS: I'll get him. [Metal goes, and meets the dragon] D: STOP. Don't kill me... please! I don't know what that old guy was talking about, I don't burn villages! I didn't even know there WAS a village there! MS: Okay. I believe you. [Metal goes back to the village, and the dragon follows him-- the village is on fire!] [both stand, staring] [a guard is still alive] G: (cough) I don't know what happened... I fell asleep and woke up... and the town was set aflame! MS: Hmm... G: Say, uh... could you escourt me back to my house? MS: (sigh) Fine. [they go to the woods, and deliver the guy to his house, then go back to the village and see Knuckles] K: Hmmm..... let's see... a life-killing robot and a fire-breathing dragon, AND this village on fire. (sarcastically) Nope, not seeing a connection. [Knuckles fights Metal, who wins] K: (cough) I know you did it, Metal... I know it... MS: Says YOU. I didn't. [Metal (and the dragon following) flies to Ice Cap Mountain] END!